KAI POV
“I invite you to talk to me, tell me this story of yours” Yeonjun enticed.
I sighed, disbelief washing over me as I felt the words to my story write themselves for Yeonjun to hear.
It was suddenly like I was back in the scene of my past years, all of it felt real again.
Flashback- Author POV
A * indicates the start of a new flashback
3rd person scene flashes- In reality, Kai is telling Yeonjun the whole story
Friday October 1st
The day Kai’s mother died.
Kat sat at her gravestone, accompanied by his two sisters. Despite being with them he felt alone.
His father didn't even dream of showing his mother respect. Kai knew he was glad that she had passed away.
It made Kai angry knowing that he didn't care for her but at the same time her life only ever seemed to be an endless turmoil when she lived.
Perhaps the heroin overdose was what she needed.
*
Wednesday the 13th of November. Kai watched as his older sister Lea slung a bag over her back, looking around her empty room.
“Lea, stay,” Kai pleaded.
“I have a life away from here, someday you will too, i'm going” Lea insisted, walking past Kai and towards the front door.
He chased after her, blocking the door in an instant.
That was when she looked different. No life lit behind her eyes, her cold stare shot through Kai’s soul.
“What about me and Bahiyyih. You can't leave us here with dad” Kai pleaded as he blocked the door with all his strength.
“You're selfish for trying to keep me here. Move” Lea snapped, pushing Kai out the way and rushing away from the house.
Kai sat crumpled in the doorway, alone and defenceless. Lea was the only one he had to look to and he just lost her.
*
Kai watched as Bahiyyih left the living room having spoken with their father. Her eyes were watered, her cheek stained red where she had presumably been hit.
This happened all but too often.
“Hiyyih” he whispered, just catching her attention.
She ran towards him, the pair rushing off into Kai’s room to avoid disturbing their father.
“Hiyyih, Hiyyih, it’s over, it's over, it’s okay, i've got you” Kai comforted as she cried into his shoulder.
Her body let go, dragging them both to the floor as she sobbed into Kai’s shoulder until she couldn't anymore, the pair left on the floor in eachothers arms.
“Just give me some time, I’ll find somewhere else for us to go,” Kai said, pulling her away so she could look at him.
“Don’t worry too much” she said as she nodded, her brown eyes glassy.
“I would do anything for you, you know that. Watching our alcoholic father hurt you isn't something I want to see you go through. I'll find us somewhere, I promise” Kai said firmly, smiling softly.
*
It was after that promise that the world seemed to fall apart just a little bit too quickly Kai to keep up
As the older of the two, he felt compelled to protect Bahiyyih, hold her so that no one could hurt her. But as the issues with his father kept going he watched both himself and her getting worse.
He watched as he failed to Bahiyyih over and over, watching as she slowly broke beneath the wrath of their father.
One afternoon he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The wrong people with the wrong influences.
Weed
Just a fun little kick, and it had been.
Every few days after school, Kai and his friends would go down to the local park between the trees and share a few blunts.nothing extreme.
Well, for his friends that was.
Kai took a liking to the substance, the feeling of lightness and freedom it gave him became too much, too desirable.
It was all fun and games, a little escape before it took its toll.
Let me set the scene for you.
A Friday evening in November. The evening it took its toll.
It had been a week since Kai and his friends had been out smoking.
It wasn't that Kai had become addicted per say, he just liked it a little…too much.
Without it he felt unnumbed. He had to go through his daily life without escape, watching as him and his sister became frames of their previous selves.
He decided to go alone that day, his friends turning him down because of how cold it was, but that didn't bother Kai.
He wanted to feel that escape, the ease he felt when he got the kick that he so desperately wanted.
Deep inside he knew it was irresponsible but he couldn’t help it. The yearn for that release of tension was running too high for him to fight off.
Kai had never rolled before, he always took what others gave him but the lack of experience created its issues.
Too much? Too little? He just didn't know.
After his first full blunt Kai waited, shortly hit with the effects that he so desired.
There's something different about drugs when you're alone.
There's no one to look after you, nor tell you to stop and as for Kai…one just wasn't enough.
5 milligrams is all a beginner should go for, the lack of tolerance evident immediately.
Kai smoked 10 milligrams within half an hour.
The effects followed on about 30 minutes to an hour later but Kai didn't want to wait.
He smoked another 5 milligrams, only for 10 minutes later felt as if the world was caving in on him.
His head whirled around, his vision distorting as he tried to make head nor tail of it.
Of course, he started to make his way home as it got darker and colder, not bothering to attempt sobering up.
Mistake number one
It was as if he forgot completely how his life was back home and when his father saw this, let's say, it wasn't a pretty sight.
Kai walked through his front door, eyes wide and laced with red, his skin pale but burning. He stumbled around as if he were drunk, his vision not allowing him to walk straight.
“Kamal?” His father asked, anger in his tone.
He never called him by his first name anymore
“Ohhhh dadddd” Kai slurred as he wandered off, avoiding his fathers direction.
“Get back here” his dad ordered, grabbing him by the wrist and breathing in strongly.
“Whattttt?” Kai asked, annoyance painfully evident in his tone as he shook his fathers hand off of his shoulder.
“Weed?”
“No,” Kai denied. A blatant lie.
“Don't lie to me boy. I went through the same thing with your mother, don't try getting past me with lies that are so obvious” His dad snapped, looking down on Kai as if he were dirt.
Then Kai did what he would soon regret.
The problem with drugs, they make you forget things, or maybe make you do things you wouldn't normally do, possibly make you sick. From the long list of side effects there was bound to be one thing that got him.
A change of attitude
“Fuck off” Kai spat, his eyes narrow and tone laced with what could only be described as hatred.
“Fuck off?” his father repeated, smiling sickly as he looked down at his son.
Minorly, Kai felt the effect of what he had done. Inside he wanted to be scared, back down, bow at his fathers feet in apology, beg for forgiveness but on the outside he did quite the opposite.
Kai’s eyes darkened, glaring up at his father before raising his hand.
Kai slapped him, the noise echoing the silent rooms of the house.
His fathers face whipped back around, a red mark already forming on his cheek.
“Who do you think you are?” his father cursed, pushing himself towards Kai, a sense of threat in his tone.
“Thirsty” Kai responded matter of factly, wandering off as if nothing had happened.
Kai’s father had felt tested before, the initial disrespect being a first for him in a while but as Kai wandered off he followed, rage consuming him in an instant.
“You are no one to be walking away from me” Kai’s dad yelled as he lifted his foot, kicking Kai in the back of the legs, the poor boy landing on the floor with a loud thud.
“Do that again, I dare you” Kai threatened through gritted teeth.
It was as if all his withheld frustration and hate was spilling without a filter. Kai himself couldn't explain why. Maybe it was the fact that it had indeed been pent up inside for too long but then again, drugs can influence more than just one thing.
That was when his father went deathly quiet.
Kai could hear nothing but the sounds of his own heartbeat and his own breathing as it slowed, the once bright world darkening before him.
Kai didn't remember anything that happened after that until he reopened his eyes, the sight of Bahiyyih crying as she stood over him.
“Hiyyih?” Kai croaked out as he tried to pull himself off of the floor.
As he did so he felt a sharp stabbing pain ripple through his body, feeling himself fall back to being limp.
“No, don't move” Bahiyyih instructed immediately as she lent down to him, a wet cloth in her hand.
She began dabbing his stomach, Kai hissing as she cleaned whatever was there.
It wasn't until he stood in front of a mirror that he could see what had happened.
Bahiyyih held him up, a crescent shaped cut covering Kai’s abdomen.
“What on earth happened to me?” Kai asked weakly as Bahiyyih laid him down on his bed.
“You fought back at dad, probably because of the drugs” she replied quietly.
Kai’s eyes shot open.
She was never meant to know. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her but now she could be hurt. She was vulnerable once again and it was all because of him.
*
For some reason, no matter how bad Kai felt for what happened, he couldn't drag himself away from drugs.
It destroyed him whenever he smoked again, knowing that he was letting his sister down but he couldn't stop.
Whenever he tried to stop, he would have mood swings and cause more problems than when he did smoke.
One day he slipped off, smoking more than he ever had before, returning home as what you could only describe as a mess.
“Kai what the hell?” Bahiyyih whispered as he walked into her room, his pupils dilated and skin flushed red.
He didn't get to answer, colla[sing on the floor as he threw up, promptly blacking out.
Bahiyyih jumped to her feet, dragging him out of the doorway and closing the door to keep their father away.
She looked after him all night through the tears and laughs of coming down from his high.
It killed her that he was addicted to them. She knew it wasn't his fault but it was putting her in a bad place.
She wanted to help but she couldn't
The next morning when Kai awoke, Bahiyyih wasn't in her room with him, the door closed and the house silent.
Kai couldnt recall anything from the night before. Sure he knew he smoked but nothing beyond that.
Unsteadily, he stood up and proceeded to search for Bahiyyih. It wasn't like her to leave her room unless it was for school. It was Saturday so it didn't make sense.
It also didn't make sense that she was nowhere to be found. All Kai could find was her cellphone sat on the kitchen surface, dead.
Despite their relationship, Kai asked his dad. He hadnt seen her either.
And so the waiting game began
One minute
One hour
One day
One week
She never came back
After that Kai quit drugs despite his reluctance. He blamed himself for his sister's disappearance.
If he didnt get high and make her look after him she would still be around.
Even his father blamed him as if he wasn't part of the issue himself.
That's how Kai wound up on Yeonjun’s doorstep having left home for good, vowing to never return
End flashback sequence
That was a long run wow
KAI POV
Yeonjun surprisingly didn't look too shocked by my story, in fact he seemed quite calm.
“Sorry, I really went on and on” I apologised, feeling stupid for saying as much as I did.
“Nonsense, it's important to understand each other” Yeonjun reminded me.
He seemed to forget that I still knew nothing about him and as it currently stands it seems I never will.
“I didn't expect my darling to be into drugs,” Yeonjun remarked rather suddenly.
“Not anymore” I quickly shot back. I will never be associated with them again.
“Of course, my apologies,” Yeonjun said softly, moving closer to me.
I looked him in the eyes, his fox-like ones staring back at me. I felt lost. Did he like me? Did he understand me? Did I make a mistake?
“I've heard many stories. Soobin’s. Beomgyu’s and Taehyun's but none have made me feel the way yours does” Yeonjun admitted quietly.
“I’m sorry” I unconsciously apologised.
“Don't apologise to me, you've not had the easiest of lives, relax for me, relax my darling” Yonjun hushed, pressing my forehead against his own.
We were strangely close to each other, Yeonjun clearly having no boundaries.
It felt nice having someone to talk to. Maybe I was like Beomgyu.
It felt nice to be accepted. Maybe I was like Soobin.
It felt nice to be safe and secure. Maybe I was like Taehyun.
Maybe I was like them all
Maybe Yeonjun was right
“It feels nice doesn't it?” Yeonjun asked, looking out over the roof at the open world of darkness surrounding us.
He turned to face me. It looked as if there were a story playing behind his eyes as he lookd at me.
Maybe he didn't creep me out too much
“Mm nice” I agreed quietly.
“Let's go in, it's late, we have to follow the rules around here” Yeonjun quickly ushered, breaking the strange mood.
“Rules?” I asked.
In the small time I've been here there's never been mention of rules.
“You’ll figure them out” Yeonjun responded, descending back down into his wardrobe down the ladder.
There he went, becoming an enigma again.
And as I descended down the ladder and headed to my room I couldn't help but notice that I never found out anything I wanted to, I only spoke and heard about myself.
Yeonjun seemed to be good at avoidance or perhaps something else
Just maybe
A/N
It feels like this chapter has taken ages to come out aaaaaaaaa but its my first update in 2023 so yayyyyy. It was a really long one for me to write so I hope its okay!
Votes and comments are appreciated :)
Lots of love to youuu <3
~ Author C