CHAPTER 21
To none of her surprise, Erìhe had found Neteyam on the thickest branch of the tree - their tree, if you will.
She willed her ikran to land beside his before hopping down. Neteyam had seen her approach, so he was not surprised when she suddenly sat down beside him. There was a moment of silence in which Erìhe took off her mask, setting it down on the branch beside her as she sat down.
"So?" She said expectantly, allowing her legs to dangle off the branch.
Neteyam glanced at her briefly before looking back down at the ground far beneath them. She saw his expression - he did not smile and there was not the usual excitement in his eyes.
Erìhe clicked her tongue and nudged him gently, allowing her arm to linger against his for a moment before pulling back again. "Kiri will be just fine," she assured him.
Neteyam sighed and turned his gaze skywards, "I know," he spoke quietly, "I just wished she didn't have it so hard."
Erìhe nodded in understanding. Kiri had always struggled with being.. different. It wasn't a bad different, but the girl had convinced herself that it was - that it set her apart from others and made her weird.
She did not know what to say, so silence ensued. But it was not awkward like all the previous silences between them had been - it was comfortable. Something had changed between the two of them. They both knew it, but perhaps they were not ready to acknowledge it.
Or maybe Neteyam was ready.
Maybe it was Erìhe who was not.
As the silence prolonged, Neteyam found his attention drifting to the girl beside him. Her eyes remained glued on the stars in the sky whereas his were fixated on hers.
Neteyam's eyes strayed from her eyes to her nose - where she had the small scar she'd gotten when they were little. The scar was smooth, it did not have the same skin-like texture that the rest of her face did, and that made it stand out even in the dim light. His hand drifted up to touch his own lip, where he'd gotten a cut in the fight he'd been dragged into thanks to Lo'ak.
He wondered if it would leave a mark, and if he would look as cool as Erìhe with a matching scar.
The silence gave Neteyam time to think.
He thought back to the time when they all lived happily in the forest. He had always ran around with the older kids back then whereas Eríhe liked spending time with his siblings. Due to her close connection with his sisters and brother, her and Neteyam had been forced to get to know each other over the years. And they had been friends - at one point.
After some time Neteyam had felt some feelings toward her develop, but he was at the age when all girls were gross, so naturally, he started picking on her.
Perhaps he took it too far, as she had grown ever more closer to his siblings while drifting apart from him.
Neteyam had hated it - he'd been jealous. But at that age he'd been unable to act mature and go on about his crush the good way, so he'd kept on doing what he'd started. Soon he made everything a competition, stressing her out and forcing her to try to become better.
He was the reason she had become a warrior in the first place. She'd had to prove that she was just as good - if not better - than him.
He sighed audibly as he thought of all this. Erìhe could sense his eyes on her, but she refused to look back at him - it made her nervous.
Neteyam's thoughts drifted back to more present matters as he wondered what he could do to start treating her differently. He felt like he was already going in a better direction, but he could not be sure. Was he just confusing her? No - she'd mention it if he was confusing her, right?
He wanted to treat her nicer, but he could not help but get jealous of her constantly. He often still battled with himself to get his father's acceptance - yet Jake often treated Erìhe as a daughter even when she was not.
Neteyam also did not know how to describe her and his siblings relationship as anything else but sisterly love - and he hated it.
He hated that his parents treated her as a daughter. He hated that she was treating his siblings as her own siblings. He hated that his siblings treated her as their sister.
And today for the first time he realized why it was that he disliked the thought so much.
Since his childhood, those other feelings he'd had for her switched off - disappeared.
Or maybe he'd only made himself believe it. Perhaps he had felt this way for a while - maybe even all the time - but now he actually recognized that he harbored different kinds of feelings for her. He felt something more for her.
And her thinking of him as a brother would completely destroy his chances of ever becoming something else to her.
Maybe this was why he had always picked fights and made everything a competition.
He had never completely understood how much he'd hurt her, and how much he'd hurt his own chances of growing close with her.
Panicked by this thought, he subconsciously lifted his hand to rest on top of hers - as if to check what her reaction would be. He was scared that she'd shake him off and cuss him out - but then again, she had not done that for a while, had she?
Erìhe turned her head to look at their hands, then she frowned and looked up at him. She was surprised to see the unfamiliar expression on his face - his eyes gazed softly at her yet he simultaneously seemed nervous and concerned.
Erìhe could sense that this expression was not caused by what had happened to Kiri.
"What is it?" Erìhe asked. Her voice was soft and quiet and it made Neteyam crazy.
How had he never noticed the way she spoke so carefully when she sensed that something was off? He realized that whenever he'd been having a hard time, she'd never been mean - no matter how annoying or mean he had been previously. She would always forget their competition and try to help.
Though in the past, he'd never let her.
Neteyam shook his head, unable to respond. He felt like due to his sudden realization, he could not function around her anymore.
"Are you alright?" Erìhe grew concerned, and she lifted her other hand to place it on his forehead.
Neteyam felt his face grow flustered and he knew his skin must have been burning hot to the touch. He forced himself to speak, "Yeah - I'm fine."
"You're burning up," Erìhe told him.
Neteyam just shook his head, causing her to lower her hand from his forehead. "It's alright."
"You're sure?"
Neteyam nodded. He met her eyes before pressing his lips into a thin line and averting his gaze again. Then another thought popped into his head - Ao'nung.
"How do you feel about Ao'nung?" Neteyam asked suddenly, not looking at her.
Erìhe sighed. This again? Why was he so curious about him? "I feel like I want to beat him up whenever I see him," she said with a sweet smile.
Instead of being relieved, Neteyam grew nervous. Anger and hate were strong emotions - those wouldn't turn into anything more, would they?
"Why do you ask?" Erìhe asked.
Neteyam was suddenly aware that he was still holding her hand, and he let go. "No reason," he said. "Well - he called you hot the other day."
Erìhe laughed, "At least he isn't blind."
Neteyam narrowed his eyes. "If he asked you to hang out or something - would you accept?"
Erìhe thought about it, "Maybe," she finally said after a moment. "But that purely depends on his attitude and what he wanted to do when hanging out."
Neteyam was now scared. He was terrified.
He was happy that he'd realized his feelings for her, but now he did not know how to act.
How should he go on from this point on and what would he do about Ao'nung?
-
A/n:
I know my tenses change like crazy all the time, and I hate it too - but i don't know how to not change the tenses. Like it just makes sense to me to change them, even though I know my English teacher would skin me for it
Also all the people who told me what it's like to have a crush on someone THANK YOU, I love you and y'all are my favorite people <33
It also made me realize that I really have never liked anyone frfr.. like what the hell :") yeah so if this fanfic sucks, it's all due to my lack of being able to like someone romantically.