When Audi ran the new last resort by the people in the meeting room, they all fell silent. Some stared at me, but most stared wide eyed at Audi.
"So," an unfamiliar person said, "the tracker plan is completely thrown out?"
Audi nodded. "Too risky. Could lessen his value and the chances we have of finding the two others, which, I assure you, isn't very great as of current. Why make those chances dip even lower?"
"But, Audi—" someone interjected.
"No. It's. Too. Risky," Audi shot back.
Another person spoke up. His name was Mark, I believed. "So, let's all get this straight. If we don't get a facial, we're going to send him to them? We're basically going to hand him over? Ridiculous."
Audi sighed. "Let's focus on getting something from Phantom first, alright? We'll work on plan B in the meantime. Nothing is set in stone, so let's not get our panties in a knot, alright?"
Mark looked offended, but continued. "But what's the context? How are we sending him in and what will he accomplish?"
Burk, who had been quiet so far, chose now to join in. "Pros and cons, Audi."
Audi stared the two men down, then took a deep, annoyed breath. "Pros. They want him. If we can't get them, they'll be more than happy to get Jai by tracking his chip. Which, in turn, helps us get them. They won't hurt or kill Jai, because he's a necessity to all parties. We can equip him with a secure phone, have him send a report back to us. After we get a location and a general idea of their numbers we could send people in, take out the captors. We could rescue more than we originally planned to. The list goes on."
Burk raised his eyebrows, crossed his arms over his chest. "Cons?"
"He could die, sure. They could mistake him for a regular old intruder and put a bullet in his brain. But, Burk, would that really happen? We aren't dealing with your run of the mill criminals. Another con would be that he got in and couldn't get out. El and Jai are strong, the people holding them could put them together to cause some serious problems. Then again, we're assuming they have several of them now, so there has to be a reason why they aren't causing problems already. Get what I'm saying?"
Burk still stared at Audi, his lips in a hard line.
Audi detected his discontent with the plan still. "Okay. Let's take a trip back to the nineteenth century. If you have something against sending Jai, if it comes to it, raise your hand. And if you raise your hand you better have an A-1, top notch, better-than-anything-I've-ever-come-up-with kind of plan to compensate."
Of course, when Audi threw in that last part, no one raised their hand. No one had anything. It was a pretty terrible situation.
"What do you think, Jai?" a woman asked me. She sat a little ways from me down the table. I didn't know her, but I secretly thanked her for wanting my input.
The answer I gave her wasn't any less harsh, though. "I think everyone knows where I stand," I told her in a hard, low voice. "The only issue I have with how deep you all are venturing into this is the fact that you want to, quote, rescue more than we planned to. That is, if conditions are favorable. Let's all be real, here. No part of this is favorable. Everything's pretty fucked—"
I stopped short, not meaning to curse in front of everyone. I caught Audi suppressing a smile.
Oh well. They all thought I was a barbaric savage either way it went.
I cringed involuntarily, closing my eyes and gritting my teeth for a second to get a grip. "What I mean is, she's the priority. Before Enzo, before anyone else that she may be with. If you send me in, which is looking like the best option we have, realize that. She's my priority."
******************
The meeting adjourned on a collectively understanding note, somewhat. We would have people working around the clock to analyze any images that were sent back to our computers from surveillance videos from around the globe. A few images had come through before we left as Danny set up the system and attached a high definition picture of her face, but before he could filter any matching incoming pictures down to specific facial features. I watched him over his shoulder as he worked on the details of her; the fullness of her cheeks, the color of her eyes, the shape of her lips.
A few of the unfiltered pictures that came in almost made me laugh. A few of the girls resembled her. Danny even thought he'd found her in one of the photos right off the bat, but he was mistaken.
"Her eyebrows aren't right in this one," I told him, reaching over his shoulder to point to a random look-a-like's picture that was captured on one of the large computer screens.
He clicked through a few more images that came in before the filters were sorted out.
"No. This isn't her. Not her, her eyes are more low set. El has her ears pierced. Do you see her? Does it look like her ears are pierced?" I commented.
Danny sighed. "If you want to do this, be my guest."
I clapped him on the shoulder, my way of thanking him, then walked out.
If the facial recognition thing worked out, we'd send teams to that area to do an in depth, inconspicuous search for her and Enzo. If they failed several times, it was agreed upon that I'd go. Theories floated around that they'd snag me if I weren't near Audi or anyone associated with the FBI. I had to be completely alone.
If none of this worked, we'd go for the tracker. I agreed with Audi, however. I truly thought that it was better off inside me, where it'd always been.
**********************
Audi dropped me off at my empty house thirty minutes later. He offered to have Emily come over to keep me company, and I had to keep myself from slamming my fist into his jaw. As if someone I'd hardly spoken to for the last six months would magically make me feel tip-top again.
"No, thank you," I told him quietly as I pulled our suitcases from the backseat of his vehicle.
He gave me a solemn stare before I shut the door to his car. The stare could have meant anything from it'll be okay, son, to don't drown yourself in alcohol tonight.
I watched his vehicle disappear down the street before I went inside.
I was hesitant. Coming back to this place in such a different manner from the last time I was here did a number on me. It was like returning home without a limb.
I forced myself inside, finally, setting our things on the floor by the door. I stood there for a second, in the dark, trying to make a mental list of things to do.
I needed to eat. I needed to shower. I needed to inspect my wounds and change the dressings on my chest.
I hardly felt the pain now. The wounds were healing nicely, but I had still been instructed by the doctor and nurses to care for the wounds so they wouldn't get infected. I knew that they wouldn't get infected, however. I wasn't human. I didn't get infections.
I needed to brush my teeth. I needed to change clothes.
I remembered the shirt she'd snagged from my suitcase to sleep in, how I'd stuffed it in a separate part of my suitcase when I cleaned our hotel room.
I needed to sleep.
I had no motivation to do anything. I had no motivation to care for myself or do things I normally did sometimes twice a day or more.
It was funny, how much a person's life could change when someone or something important to that person was taken from them. I'd felt the same way when my family was taken from me, and I felt that way now.
I wanted to sleep.
I lugged our suitcases through the house and up the stairs to the bedroom she'd stayed in. I tugged off the shirt I had on and pulled on the one of mine she'd worn from the special place I kept it in my suitcase. Then I grabbed her pillow from her suitcase, which I was thankful that Audi let me keep. I played it off as though I didn't even realize I had it still, but I knew that he knew I didn't want to give it up.
I crawled into the bed in the darkness and tried to sleep.
It probably didn't help to be enclosed by objects and smells that hurt me so much, but I needed it. I needed to feel, I needed to smell, I needed to be comforted. I didn't have a problem admitting that to myself.
In the black of night, I was surrounded by her, and I had no problem drifting off into the darkness that I welcomed.