The first thing that awaited us the next morning were parents angry to the bones. They hadn't seen us together, at least, but they did notice our absences from our respective mauris. I didn't know what happened to Neteyam, how his talk with a preoccupied Neytiri went, but mine with Na'tyr was, needless to say, awful.
She had waited until sunrise to yank my hand as soon as she saw me waking up. She didn't let go of it and pressed her fingers harshly on my skin. Her face was contorted with a frown, wide-opened eyes, and her jaw shut tightly.
"Where were you, ungrateful girl?! You thought you could disappear for a whole night and that I wouldn't notice?" She roared, her voice rumbling in my eardrums.
"What? What's wrong with you? You're going to pretend you care? Please, I'm barely even your daughter. And I didn't 'disappear', it's not like I haven't missed a day to sleep here. I was busy with stuff. Not like you deserve an explanation."
She slapped my face, hard. My face turned to the left by the power of the slap. My eyes were filled with rage.
"Don't you dare talk to me like that! I'm your mother. It has been enough of your irresponsible, spoiled, brat attitude! You will do as I say. First, you'll stop that sick entanglement you have with the Sullys, that forest people. You are a reef person, not to be seen with those others, "she said and raised her hand to hit me again, but I stopped it midway.
I grasped her wrist so tightly I knew it would leave a mark. "You are not my mother anymore. You stopped being it since dad died. And I am a forest Na'vi, just as much as I am Metkayina. You have no right or power over me. I can provide for myself and live on my own, I don't need to live under your roof so you can go around giving orders like I'm your little puppet. I have no idea what the fuck went so wrong with you." Poison left my mouth as I said those words, but none of them were false. From that moment on, it wasn't 'mom' any longer, it was simply Na'tyr. "I'll get my stuff."
She didn't stop me from taking a basket full of my belongings. She had certainly changed from the woman I once knew. The woman dad mated with. This was only the same body occupied by a rotten mind. I wouldn't shed any tears for her late death as my mother.
I could only keep my mind focused on my sister, laying still on a cushioned floor. She had looked more lively than in the twelve years prior. Her dark blue skin, the same tone as mine, had an exceptional glow and was far from dry. Her hair was clean, given that I had washed it some days ago, and was dust-free. Something in her face made me say the following words that I wished I had kept to myself.
"Maitrey would be disappointed to see that not even her mother has been careful enough to notice that she has been moving a little for about two days," I said and then looked at her sour, shocked face. "Yes, you didn't notice that, did you? Her ears began twitching, as well as her fingers."
I have no idea if she would have said something in the remote case I'd stayed longer. But, because I didn't, the last two-way conversation that we had would forever be a fight. A discussion between a former mother and daughter.
A known numbness overtook my body. It was that confusing sensation of not being relieved, happy, angry, sad, or any other emotion. It was a filling nothingness. Luckily for me, a certain forest boy came to my rescue, and a spark of joy made me give a tight-lipped smile.
"Kaltxì," Neteyam greeted, having that cute smile of his plastered on his face, "I'm glad to see it didn't go as bad as I thought."
"You're wrong. It has honestly been the worst ten minutes of my life."
My words seemed to have dimmed his happiness and hushed away his cheerful spirit. His eyes flickered from my eyes to my body, maybe looking for marks. He stopped and looked intensely at my right cheek. The throbbing it caused assured me that it was getting redder by the second.
Neteyam stepped closer to me and brushed my injured cheek with his hand. His fingers cupped my face and his delicate touch made me lean into his hand. He pulled it back and I felt cold where his hand previously was. I looked deeper into his eyes, moving them across his image, in search of something that told me what he was thinking. Neteyam leaned even closer and left a caste, slow kiss on my cheekbone. His lips felt soft.
"I'm sorry," he said, "It's all my fault, I shouldn't have told you to-"
"It wasn't your fault," I cut him, "It was a combination of things I don't really feel like explaining."
My gaze moved to my feet, not wanting to see his reaction. Would he tell me that I was being mean? No, he wouldn't, because he had always been a nice boy. He would probably feel uncomfortable with my mood and leave as soon as possible...
To my surprise, Neteyam grabbed my hand with his. I stared at him blankly.
"I have an idea," he said and started walking towards the ilu mounting area.
I kept quiet, still startled by the amount of touch, which I hadn't experienced much of, not even while pretending with Atswon. The thought of him made me realize one thing: I had nowhere to live. I'd need to find Atswon and ask him if I could live in his mauri, which only he occupied. He was going to say yes, I knew that.
"Wait! I need to leave my things somewhere," I said, stopping my walk completely.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you had them with you." He scratched the back of his head while giving me a sheepish smile.
"Don't worry, I'll just leave them at Atswon's."
We walked slower than before, a comfortable silence around us. As said, I left my things in the mauri next to his. Nateyam didn't ask why I wasn't living with Na'tyr anymore, but he probably had an idea.
"Well, my idea was to go fishing, but now that I think it over, I don't think an arrow and bow are fit for that. It might've worked in the forest, but here it is all... water."
"I know," I smiled, "we use spears. It's much easier. I can teach you."
"There are quite some things I need to be taught, honestly. Like that finger talk of yours, I'm still shit at it, unlike Tuk." He let out an embarrassed little laugh that made me chuckle.
"Oh, no, no. I can't help with that, I'm sorry. If only you knew how crappy I am at explaining things... it's most likely that I'll leave you more confused than you already are." He hadn't verbally asked for my help, but I sensed that was what he was about to do if he hadn't been too embarrassed by his numerous inabilities, which equaled those of a 6-year-old.
"I'm sure that our psychic connection can help with that. You know, we are one in mind and soul."
He laughed as I shushed him with a slap to his arm. He was having too much fun looking at my face, worried that someone might have overheard. I couldn't help but laugh with him at the end, affected by his wide smile.
"Let's make a deal, then, I teach you the sign language and the spear, and you help me get better at the bow and arrow. It has been a decent amount of time since I've last had an actual teacher, I'm sure there's much of my technique to improve."
He nodded and we got to the dock. I called Lìtzy, who I hadn't seen since the previous day when she abandoned me with Lo'ak and Payakan, and Neteyam called his ilu. The noises coming from his mouth were a tad clumsy and not following a pattern. Nevertheless, it worked. He had also proudly told me that Tsireya had taken her time with him to teach him properly how to ride an ilu. He had not hidden the fact that his efforts were intended to impress me. At least to a level, I could say 'Oh, Neteyam, you can ride an ilu. That is fantastic! You can now practice along with the five-year-olds that are also getting the hang of it'. It was cute and a very laughable statement.
We took off to the borders of the reef, and I began with the basics of spears. The way to hold them and the movement to throw them. It took some time to get him a kill, but when he did he was overflowed with a radiant smile and some wohoos.
The happiness I felt with him made me forget for some hours what had happened with Na'tyr.
We eventually got back to the village, just in time to see the new hunters gathering around the common room. I had almost failed to recall that today was the day to receive the hunting tattoo. It had to be a week after concluding iknimaya.
"Shit, I have to go. I'm going to get tattooed." I quickly said and let go of Lìtzy.
Neteyam followed. "I'll come with if it you doesn't bother you."
"You don't have to, it will take some hours to finish and I doubt you want to spend them all with me."
Now, that was possibly the stupidest excuse I could have ever said. For some reason, even though I wanted him to come, I also didn't. Confusing. I felt like I didn't deserve to have someone waiting for me.
"I want to," he emphasized, "I'll always be there if you need me, and if you don't, I'll still be there. Okay?" He said, in his usual, unnecessarily sweet, voice.
I flustered.
We talked alongside each other to where Tonkwari and other six people my age were talking. Tonowari explained how the process was, which I already knew, and where the ink came from. I knew it to be pigment extracted from the venom of a special animal only the Olo'eyktan was allowed to know about.
Neteyam stood next to me, squeezing my hand in reassurance every time the needle punctured the skin on my shoulder. That location was special because it was the intersection of two important zones to have tattoos: the chest and the arms. Tattoos over the heart and chest symbolized the safe embrace of the central island, while arm tattoos represented the more exposed protective shield of the seawall. I was in between.
When my turn ended, Neteyam and I separated at dinner. He went with the rest of the Sullys while I searched for Atswon in the crowd. We sat together while I asked him if I could stay with him. Because we hadn't had much time to share as friends, he agreed and pulled me in for a hug. Some eyes pierced my back for those moments, but I ignored them and grabbed Atswon's hand to sit next to Tisreya.
All this mess of emotions and relationships, and it had only been a week since the Sully family arrived.
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Author's note:
I'm finally back from my break! Technically, I didn't stop posting, but this is finally a complete chapter. This one has a good amount of fluff and anger and trauma all into one. I realized that some chapters lacked internal monologue and thinking and that it was more like a sequence of actions and dialogue (which I don't think is any fun to read) so here I tried to fix it. I hope you like it!
Also, 7.4k reads?! Astounding. I love you all.
Happy weekend, cheers.