You visited Ariana's new house for the second time that month. Maybe you were more masochistic than you thought, accepting her request for a filming project the moment she asked.
As you stepped out of the car Ariana had sent, you saw her standing at the entrance, waiting for you.
"Hi." She greeted you, leaning in for a hug. Your body flinched away instinctively like it had been burned. You stared at Ariana in guilt, when she moved away despondently, seemingly hurt by your reaction. Awkward as you were, you had never shied away from her touch... until now.
There would always be space between the both of you now. It exists every time you tug away at her pull, defying gravity once more.
"Hi yourself." You replied, waving your fingers. It was the best you can offer for now.
Ariana led you into what looked like a recording studio, giving you a place to put your stuff down. As you arranged your filming equipment, you asked curiously. "What do you want me to film?"
The question made her wring her fingers. "Oh um... I was thinking of filming me arranging one of my new songs and maybe a short clip for my album's teaser."
"That sounds cool." You affirmed, moving to set up your stuff. "Where do you want to set up?"
She gave you a set of instructions, which you complied wordlessly. After a small introduction, you stood behind her as she explained the audio she had recorded for the song, and how she intended to edit them together. The whole thing reminded you of a scene months ago, when you were in her position.
Minutes rolled by as the two of you worked efficiently, getting all the footage needed. When there was more than enough, you stopped filming and began the exporting process. While waiting, you found Ariana taking glimpses at you from where she sat. You spoke up as you caught her eye. "It should not take long. I can edit everything in thirty minutes or less."
"Okay." She replied simply, continue to watch you as you open your laptop. As you estimated, the video was edited and rendered quickly. You sent the file to her email before packing up your filming equipment.
You looked at the time. It was four in the afternoon. "Is that all you wanted me to do?" The way her mouth opened and closed, before her throat moved inaudibly, told you that something was eating at her. You waited, anyway, until she was ready to speak.
Seeing as you were not going to break eye contact, she finally said what was on her mind. "Are you free for the rest of the day?" She paused slightly, enough for you to nod before she resumed. "We can hang out, only if you want to."
If it were anyone else, you would have declined. However, the petals on your wrist encouraged you not to. It was an ironic reminder to you that everything is temporary, even pain. It was a measure of your pain tolerance, which was higher than you thought, even if it stung to think about the many instances of touching a boiling kettle to form a thick skin.
"Sure, what do you have in mind?"
The smile she gave you could rival the sun, and you didn't look away even if it blinded you. "Let's start with a tour of the house!" As she showed you around, you took note of the movie theater, wowed at the gym and sauna, and tested every bed's bounciness at Ariana's invitation. When you were out on the patio overlooking a sea of similar houses before you once more, Ariana asked. "So, what do you think?"
You stood by your first assessment of the house - it was a modern luxury that you longed to have when you were younger. However, with just the two of you in a large space, it felt a little empty and cold.
"It's big." You were aware of how simple your answer was. "It's a nice place to watch sunsets and stargaze."
"But?"
"It doesn't feel cozy or private enough, precisely because of its size and location." You continued after Ariana made a thoughtful sound. "It feels like I'm on the cliff's edge which we are quite literally. Maybe I'm just not used to such a house."
"So I wasted almost 14 million?" Ariana commented, looking a little disappointed.
You were quick to correct her. "If it suits your living style and provides everything you need for home life, the money is well spent."
"But you wouldn't pay that amount for this house, would you?"
"Probably not, it's just not for me, you know. I certainly do not need seven bathrooms." You quipped, laughing a little to lighten the mood. "But I'll definitely take advantage of your movie theatre."
That earned you a small smile from her, "What are we waiting for then?"
-
It became a tentative routine you motioned through for the rest of the month - going to her house, watching movies, playing video games, frolicking your feet in the pool while she swam, and having dinner.
Tonight, she was attempting to make gnocchi.
It's almost scary how easily the both of you for right back into each other's lives. It felt like resuming a movie after a bathroom break, picking up right where you left it off. You realized that it was hard being only friends, but it was harder if you weren't. You couldn't imagine your life without her in it, the years before meeting her felt like a motion blur.
While the whole thing only pulled you into a false sense of security, you were too weak to resist, not that you wanted to. So you might as well enjoy the ride before it crashes and burns, and you go through the entire cycle again - Icarus' attempt at flying on a loop.
You stationed yourself at the bar counter, observing Ariana as she rummaged around for spices. You wanted to help, but she waved it off with a "you're a guest, so sit down". You put your energy into bonding with the two little companions she brought over, Coco and Lily.
"There's some flour on your face." You said after noticing a faint dusting above her nose. Instinctively, you leaned towards her to swipe it off but you stopped yourself just in time to pretend you were reaching for the tissue box instead. "Here."
Ariana plucked the tissue from you gingerly. "Thanks."
After a few more minutes, the gnocchi was ready. After she plated the food, you set them on the kitchen counter, ignoring her protest. It became sort of a mini-race to see who could grab the utensils the fastest.
You managed to block her off with your arms, reaching for the drawer with the spoons. "Let me set the table. You can go get the champagne I bought you for your birthday."
Knowing that she lost, Ariana gave in. "Fine. But don't think you won this round!" Her voice faded gradually as she headed towards the wine closet.
With the puppies nipping at your heels, you arranged the cutlery for both of you, as well as the champagne flutes. It was not lost on you how domestic the whole setup was. If you were being honest, it was what you had always wanted.
You learned now, what yearning meant. It wasn't looking from afar, hoping to be looked at in return. Instead, it reflected a decision - to know where you stood and accept being in that position.
Barks announcing Ariana's return pulled you out of your thoughts. "Sorry to keep you waiting." She rushed to the table on tippy toes.
You moved towards her. "Take your time. I don't want you to trip and fall." She slowed down with a grateful smile.
After it was placed on the counter, you pulled out a chair for her. "Thank you," Ariana said as you took your own seat. You grabbed the bottle, removing the cork with a corkscrew. Carefully, you poured the alcohol into the glasses, stopping before the bubbles spilled over.
You raised your glass in a toast. "Here's to completing three songs in a week." You drank in the giggles she released as the flutes clinked together.
"What about that directing gig?" Ariana continued, after a sip. "How is it going?"
"Well," You placed down your flute, "I got the job."
The words barely left your mouth when Ariana almost shot out of her seat, reaching for your hand. "Oh my god! Congratulations!"
You couldn't hide your smile any longer, not with how contagious Ariana's excitement was. "Logistics are being finalized, and so is the cast. We're going to start production on the first week of July."
"I'm so happy for you." You allowed yourself to be happy, just for a moment. You swiped your thumb across her hand, before letting go.
"The main actresses are amazing in their audition tape, and the whole thing will be shot in New York, and the script is fantastic and... I'm rambling, aren't I?" You realized when Ariana had wiped clean half of her plate while you had barely touched yours.
"No, I love hearing you talk about things you love." She reassured you. "Tell me more about the plot."
"It's about a freelance writer and a celebrity client for whom she's writing her biography. And how they caught feelings for each other during the book-making process." You said after a bite of pasta. "I know it sounds like a cliche plot but it's great."
"I have no doubt about that." Ariana started, but it was cut short by a blood-curdling scream. The dogs joined in surprise.
You spotted the spider crawling towards her. Without hesitation, you grab your glass and drank its contents in one go, before cupping it over it.
"Do you have a piece of paper?" You asked Ariana, who was standing a few feet away from the table.
She nodded her head, still shaking from fear. "I-I'll go get one."
When she handed it to you, you slid the paper underneath the glass before lifting both up cautiously. You walked to the little garden area where the bushes were and lay the glass on top of one. After the spider made its journey out of the glassware, you picked it up and made your way back.
Ariana had visibly collected herself in the meantime, eyeing your flute when you rinsed it thoroughly in the sink. "Don't worry, you're both safe." You said, hanging it upside down on a rack after drying.
"Are you not scared of bugs?" She asked out when you were both seated back at the table once more.
You weren't fond of them, but the sight of her terrified pushed you to take action. "Well, the worst thing that can happen if I get bitten is death, and the best thing is becoming Spider-Man. I'll take my chances."
When the dishes were done, you settled on the couch while Ariana went to get her reading glasses. You set up everything in the meantime, putting on the third installment of Harry Porter. You smiled fondly at the memory of her face colored with absolute shock when she discovered you knew nothing about the franchise (except for the four houses).
Ariana returned with the puppies in tow. Lily took her place on your lap as you removed the bowl of popcorn from it and handed it to Ariana.
"Ready to start my Harry Porter education?" You asked after she settled down. She nodded, and you pressed play.
Halfway into the movie, you felt something was amiss. It was too quiet. The dialogues and chants of spells from the speakers since were usually accompanied by Ariana's excitable recitation or fun facts every now and then.
"Ariana." You whispered. "What's wrong? Are you still shaken up by the spider?"
It was only after a moment that Ariana tore her eyes away from the screen. "Are you dating Zendaya?"
The question caught you off guard. You weren't sure what caused her to think as such. While the actress had become a regular face in your videos, you didn't think that itself would warrant dating speculation.
"No, we're just friends." You said, wondering what to say to prove so. Though your unhelpful mind supplied like us and you felt like slapping yourself. "Uh, she only has eyes for someone else."
While you pulled Ariana out of her silence, you took her place in exchange.
You would think by now, with your (half of the) wing fully melted off your back, that you learned not to fly too close to the sun. That the glittering blue beneath, would not be kind to you.
An endless loop of reaching and receding - your Tantalus punishment.
AN: how is everyone's first week of the year going so far? regardless of anything that happens, i hope this story adds to your life in any way you want it to, the way your support (views/votes/comments/donations) do for mine.