"Thank you, it was nice seeing you," my dad repeats to the fifth person that stops him on our way out of the church.
I walk past him and over to Madaline who looks as ready to leave as me. She looks relieved when she sees me and detaches herself from her parents, and their church friends. We walk out of the church and sit on the last step, but leave enough space for people to pass by. Madaline leans her head on my shoulder as we look out at the clouded, blue sky.
"We're still hanging out right?" she asks, not clarifying her question. "Us and the group?"
I feel exhausted from another two services, but I miss hanging out with my friends as an entire group. It's currently 6pm, so maybe I can get a quick nap in before it's time to meet up.
"Of course," I end up answering her, "your parents take us at seven-thirty? I want to see if I can get a nap in."
Madaline nods and both of our parents appear at our sides as we finalize our plans.
"Nolan's coming back with us," Madaline informs them all. Her parents look to mine for clarification and they give the all clear. They always will when it comes to Madaline. It's no secret that my parents wanted us to become high school sweethearts. We proved that, that will never happen, so now they're jumping at Julie.
"Be home by ten. You have school tomorrow," my dad warns.
I would usually just stay over at Maddy's because I have clothes of my own at her house, but my dad is keeping an even closer eye on me. Madaline couldn't convince him otherwise this time. We soonly enough separate- my parents going to their car and me going with Madaline.
"Nolan, you haven't stayed over in a bit," Madaline's mom concludes, "how are you?"
I look away from the window to meet her eyes. "I haven't had the time, I guess. Maddy sees me all the time anyway too."
Mrs. Versace nods her head in understanding as Mr. Versace asked if we wanted something to eat. One things for sure- Madaline's family will never let you starve. If they aren't cooking, then they'll buy food. Anything to feed themselves and their company. Madaline and I decline the offer, since we're sure we'll eat while we're out. Jackson can't go without food and Scarlette can't go without stealing it.
"We should freshen up before leaving," Madaline fills the short silence that snaked its way into the car. "We can't skate in church clothes. Unless we're insane of course."
I laugh at the last part of her statement. The chances of Madaline having a serious sentence is close to zero. She always has to add her weird commentary which I appreciate at times. I forgot about getting ready for a second time today which meant putting a stop to the nap I was desperate to have. Getting ready will take long without a doubt. Madaline wants to look good all the time. It doesn't matter where she's going. I, on the other hand, have no choice but to look bland. It's true- I do have clothes at Madaline's house, but they're nothing special. And it's just skating.
"You can use my shower and I'll use my parents" Madaline decides as we pull into her driveway. That worked for me. I wouldn't have to sit bored for half an hour while waiting for her to come out.
I nod and we get out of the car before racing into her house. Everything is a race here- it doesn't matter what you're doing or where you're going. Madaline pushes a broom into my path, making me trip a little. Luckily, I don't fall but now she's in the lead and up the stairs. We laugh all the way to her room and flop on her bed. Madaline sighs before rolling onto her stomach.
"Hey, Nolan?"
I stay laying on my back, my eyes admiring the stars on her ceiling. "Yes, Maddy?"
"I really like Jackson. He's so closed off, and I don't really know much about him, but I like him."
I knew of the feelings Madaline had for Jackson. The longing looks she'd send him when he was busy looking the other way. The constant fixing her hair whenever he was approaching. I think the only one who didn't notice was Jackson.
"What are you going to do?" I ask her with genuine curiosity. Madaline shrugs. "You think he feels the same?"
"I don't know," she admits, "he doesn't show interest in anyone and is always to himself if not with us..
" Yeah."
"What about you? You fancy Scarlette don't ya?" She ends up asking me, putting on a terrible accent. I laugh lightly before meeting her eyes and shrugging. "Oh, come on."
"I think I do," I admit, "actually, I know I do."
"What are you going to do?"
I get a sense of deja-vu as I shrug. A lot of shrugging we're doing. I came to terms with my feelings for Scarlette when I got home from the date with Julie. I felt guilty and all I could think was, I'd rather have done it with Scarlette. Scarlette who makes me feel giddy and ready to wake up the next day to hopefully see her. Scarlette who shows everyone her signature smirk but reserves her shy and yet confident smile for me. At least I hope it's just for me.
I wonder if she feels the same about me. I never see her do the things she does with me with anyone else. It doesn't matter right now anyway. My parents want Julie.
"We should get ready, Scarlette texted. Said she's going to get us herself," Madaline interrupts my indecisive thoughts. "Jackson is obviously already with her."
"Is she getting Julie?" I wonder, since Julie is new to the group. No one knows where she lives.
"Already has her."
At that, the both of us grab clothes and take a quick shower since Scarlette is already on the way. I get dressed in a long-sleeved shirt matched with comfortable pants. My braided bracelet hangs from my wrist as I fluff my wet hair around. It can dry on its own. I walk out of Madaline's bathroom to put on shoes that I also left over here. Madaline is sitting at her desk, straightening her hair. I'm surprised at the fact that she's fully dressed with her makeup and all.
"How long until they get here?" I ask while slipping on my shoes and jacket. Madaline opens her mouth but the ring of her door bell shushes her. "I guess that answers that question."
Madaline grabs her jacket and both of our phones before we head downstairs. Her parents are seated in the living room and watching a movie that's unknown to me. They wave us goodbye and tell us to be safe. Madaline still has her new curfew, but we shouldn't be out for too long I think. Jackson is at the door when I open it and he looks surprised to see me. Or maybe he's looking at Madaline who's standing directly beside me.
We all greet each other before moving to Scarlette's car. She's, obviously, in the drivers seat. Jackson is in the passenger seat and Julie is on the right side of the car. I slip in so that I'm in the middle and Madaline is to the left of me. We're all fairly small, so there's good space between us three. Julie squishes her legs together so ours don't touch, but still turns towards me.
"Hi, Nolan," she says with her usual shy tone.
"Hey," I answer back and catch Scarlette's eyes in the rearview mirror. She raises her eyebrows up at me. I smile and she looks away with a smile ghosting her lips. Seeing that boosts my energy and I slump back into my spot with happiness flowing through my veins.
The skating rink that Scarlette found isn't too far away, so after a few minutes of conversations we're pulling into the new place. The car isn't even fully parked as Madaline opens the door and gets out. I smile and get out after her followed by everyone else. Madaline loops her arm with mine as we walk to the entrance. Scarlette is casually talking to Jackson about something while Julie looks around, scanning the area. We walk in to see the place semi crowded. I hope I don't embarrass myself in here.
We get to the paying front and Scarlette steps in front of us with her wallet out. I step up beside her with a small frown.
"Why are you always the one paying? It doesn't feel fair," I say, voicing my thoughts. Scarlette doesn't say anything as she hands the money over to the girl behind the register. When the girl gives her back five wrist bands, she turns to me and hands me one.
"Why not? I have the money and you're all my friends," she answers while giving everyone else their own band. I complain all the way to the spot where we get our skates. Madaline and Julie ignore this as they help each other put on their bands. Jackson just stuffs his in his pocket. "If you're that bothered then pay me back."
"How?" I wonder while some guy hands me a pair of skates.
"A kiss?" Scarlette suggests making me blush and walk away to an empty bench. Everyone else joins me soon after. Madaline sits next to me and Scarlette sits on the other side. Jackson sits on a bench in front of me with Julie not too far beside him.
We put on our skates in silence, not wanting to mess up the straps or laces. Don't need one of the skates falling of our feet mid glide. How embarrassing that'd be. Madaline finishes putting hers on first, then Jackson. He gets up from his spot and stumbles on the carpeted floor over to her. He holds his hand out which Madaline instantly takes. They slowly walk over to the large, polished floor.
Scarlette and Julie already finished putting theirs on too which just left me. Scarlette leans down and helps me tighten the straps. I thank her because they felt too loose on me, but now I feel secure. She leans back up and the three of us sit in a now awkward silence. Scarlette stays rooted to my side, her eyes focused on me- like she's waiting for me and doesn't want to leave my side.
"I'm going to join them," Julie suddenly says. She stands up with a little wobble before balancing herself. "See you on the floor guys" she says but blushes when her eyes drift over me. She turns away and goes to skate with our friends. We watch her for a second and I sigh before looking at Scarlette.
"Is there a reason you're still sitting?" she breaks the silence.
"Um, I can't skate," I admit, embarrassingly. Scarlette doesn't look shocked, or like she's judging. She's just looking.
"Me neither," she eventually says, "not really anyway."
That makes me feel a little better and I smile when Scarlette stands on her skates- her hand already reaching for mine. I grab her hand and she pulls me up slowly. My legs wobble but I maintain my balance enough to get on the rink. We keep our hands clasped together as we stumble onto the smooth surface. I slip as soon as my feet touch the wood, stumbling into Scarlette. She holds the both of us up and moves us to the wall.
"Let's just stay here, kay?" she states in the form of a question. I nod and skate behind her with one hand gripping the wall. Scarlette isn't holding on, but she's still close. Just in case. I slowly let my hand go and instantly fall into her. Scarlette falls and I go down with her. "I think I'll just stay down here."
I laugh and sit up, my side hurting from the impact. Madaline, Jackson, and Julie skate over to us with laughs bubbling out of their stomachs. Scarlette grins and gets up instead of staying sitting down like me. She helps me up and Madaline has no problem with telling us about how much we suck.
"You know, you two can just go in the beginner rink," she points behind her to reveal a smaller room. I look away in embarrassment while Scarlette just shrugs. Jackson agrees and says we're embarrassing him.
Scarlette pushes him over, making him trip over his feet and almost fall. She takes my arm and we skate to the beginners spot. It's empty as we go in which kind of makes me relieved. Less embarrassment. Scarlette lets go of my arm and creates space between us. I grab onto a nearby railing as my legs and feet almost fail me again. This wood is a little rougher and could leave some harsh splinters.
Scarlette is doing fairly well. I mean, she did say she can skate a little. Her back is facing me when she starts to speak.
"So, you and Julie?"
I look up from my unstable feet to see her still facing away from me. I scratch my neck in a nervous manner while trying to think of something to say.
"Yeah?" is all I come up with.
"How was the date? You never texted me back."
I didn't? I was sure after the date... I called Madaline who also wanted details.
"Sorry," I apologize, "the date went okay, and it might happen again. I don't know."
Scarlette hums, but says nothing else. I watch her skate around, slowly getting better. I decide to do the same thing with one hand still on the railng. I skate, carefully, my eyes drifting back to my feet. They could plot against me at any second and decide to trip over one another. Scarlette still says nothing which was unsettling. Maybe she's too focused on staying balanced, like me.
"Why?" I eventually ask. I didn't ask Madaline why when she wanted to know. I didn't ask why when my parents cornered me. But I want to know why now. With Scarlette. Why does she ask?
Scarlette turns to me and shrugs. "I like you. I want to know if I have a chance."
This time my feet succeed in failing me as I miss a step and fall. Scarlette skates over to me and helps me up. I almost fall again but luckily I don't. Scarlette helps me move back towards the rails. I grab onto them tightly with both of my hands. Scarlette stands in front of me, her expression neutral.
"Thanks," I whisper, my mind running rampant with her previous words.
"No problem," she replies while going to move back.
I grab her jacket sleeve to stop her. She does. "I- you like me? More than a friend?"
"Yeah," she answers me so simply. "How do you feel about me?"
The fluttering in my chest and stomach stops. Dread fills me instead. I can't like her. She's unacceptable. To my parents. To the church. My parents would be ashamed of me, especially my dad. My crush on the girl in front of me couldn't go any further. It'll have to stay what it is. A crush. Scarlette's arm flexes under my fingers making me realize that I'm still holding onto her.
"I don't know," I finally answer. Scarlette nods but doesn't get to say anything as Jackson interrupts. Everyone got lazy and tired of skating, so the new plan is to stuff our faces with food. Scarlette helps me out of the beginners room and back to the bench. I sit down with the rest of the group, but Scarlette kicks off her skates and takes them back to guy. She comes back and puts on her shoes.
"Gonna go bring the car closer," she says without looking at anybody and leaves. Jackson glances around before following after her. Madison looks at me curiously, but I just look away. When the rest of change back into our shoes, we drop them off before leaving the building and meeting Scarlette and Jackson at the car.
We pile into our previous seats and waste no time in leaving. Jackson says he wants chicken tenders, so we stop at a nearby restaurant that looks like it sold just that. Sals, is what the place was called. We get out and head into the place that was empty with the exception of two girls drinking soda. Julie finds a booth that fits us all, so we slide into the seats. Jackson is on one end with Madaline next to him, and me next to her. Julie is on the other side of her, and next to her is Scarlette. I wish I was next to Scarlette.
A waiter comes and gets all of our orders. It shouldn't take long, he said, so we jump into conversation while waiting. Jackson is asking Scarlette about her next race and Madaline is begging to tag along. Scarlette is giving them smiles, but they seem off. I talk to Julie a little and she tells me about her mom planning another date. I wince in hopes that Scarlette didn't hear that. I glance at her and it looks like she's paying no attention to what Julie and I are talking about. Actually, she hasn't looked at me or initiate conversation since the skating place. I lose my smile and turn back to Julie.
After a few more minutes, our food is placed in front of us. We don't waste a second and dig into our food. Jackson finishes first, then starts eating some of Scarlette's food. She lets him as she drinks her water. Madaline eats most of her food and lets Julie have the rest of her fries. I pick at my burger before pushing it away, not hungry. Jackson pays for the meals and leaves a tip as we stack our plates in the middle of the table and clean our areas. We slump our way back to the car, our stomachs full. As we get in, we sit there for a couple minutes to calm down our full bellies.
Eventually, we start moving, and Scarlette starts to drop us off one by one. Julie is first, then it's Madaline who waves goodbye, then me. Jackson says he isn't going home yet, so he'll stay with Scarlette who also isn't going home. We get to my house, and my parents are standing on the front, like they were expecting me at this exact time. They squint as the lights to Scarlette's car temporarily blind them. Her arm is hanging out the window and my dad could possibly see her tattoos. I say that because he's coming closer. He knows I was with Madaline. He doesn't know that we were hanging out with other people. Especially people with tattoos.
I get out of the car quickly and walk past my parents and their disappointed faces. I into the house and hear Scarlette leaving. I sigh loudly to myself while thinking of Scarlette and her confession. I think of my parents faces, then I think of myself. The pleaser. I strip off my shoes and jacket before sliding into my bed. I turn so I'm staring up at my ceiling. It isn't full of stars like Madaline's. Just plain. I sigh again. I can't like Scarlette. I can't like her. I can't.