☆★☆
Your father has something of mine and I would quite like it back.
"Eddie!" She yelled as she paced into the Hideout, "Eddie!"
Her voice echoed around the desolate bar, she'd never seen it in the light but it looked equally as shabby. She paced around rather quickly, ducking around the bar and striding up to the stage to turn and stare over the place as a whole. Then again, she'd never given him any reason to ignore her calls. Yet Lilith was getting the growing impression that she didn't know anything at all and maybe that expanded to Eddie too.
Lilith's head was spinning, trying to make sense of what had just happened to her. Reflections stained her mind, her reflections. The expression in her eyes, wide in shock.
She also didn't understand why the room was so bare, so drastically different than what it had once been. Lilith could see her mothers room, a hazy memory. There was no reason for Brenner to tear the room apart, to take everything from it. He should've left it exactly as it was but instead it looked as though no one had ever been there. As though the room had been empty for years, as though her mother had never stared at those walls in her last months.
"Eddie!" Lilith yelled desperately as she looked around the bar.
She had to see him, had to understand what all of this could mean. If it was a trap it was a fruitless one, unless he'd known she'd come running for him. Then again, Lilith couldn't shake trust from her mind. Her heart still beat for him, she still longed for him even when the dark ideas of manipulation started to snake into her mind like dark vines.
But if he had been truthful, Lilith wasn't sure what to make of it. She wasn't an idiot, Lilith was well aware that Brenner hadn't stolen a mirror from him but the other option fell short in her mind. It just didn't make sense.
She looked around the bar desperately, looking for something that could lead her to him. Lilith thought of his words, his smile, his eyes, his laughter. He wasn't a monster, he wasn't some demon from another world and he had proven time and time again that he wouldn't hurt her. He wasn't some manipulator, some mastermind pulling at her strings like a master of puppets. He was Eddie, he was just Eddie.
Lilith was out of breath from her thoughts, swirling in ideas she couldn't understand when she caught side of the door. It lay at the back of the bar, just left of the stage. She looked around once more as though expecting him to be standing right behind her. But he wasn't, the bar still stretched empty of everything she wanted to see.
She was relieved to find the door wasn't locked, Lilith didn't fancy having to kick it down.
It led to a set of rickety looking wooden stairs. Lilith half expected that they would collapse under her weight as she slowly started climbing them. Her hand was slightly shaky on the bannister as she heard the wood creak below her.
Lilith had always been curious towards the way that Eddie lived but in that moment she wasn't sure she wanted to know. Starting to believe that everything she already knew was enough. She liked the Eddie she knew, the goofy smiles and the rambles about everything he loved. His tattoos, his taste in music, his hair and his love. She couldn't have stopped even if she wanted to, her desire to know the truth burning brighter than anything she had ever felt before.
There was a door at the top, round a small corner. Lilith saw it was open a crack, window spilling daylight where she stood.
She considered the idea that he was right behind it, waiting for her. Then again she knew, even before she entered, that this was not the case. She knew that if Eddie had been inside the Hideout, he would've come running at the sound of her voice. The panic in her yell as her mind started begging with the desperation to be set free. She felt so trapped in the limits of her own knowledge.
Gently, she placed her hand against the door and pushed. It opened with a soft grunt and Lilith found herself staring at a pitiful attempt of a bedroom.
There was a mattress on the floor, covered by a couple of dusty blankets. The wooden floor was splintering in many places, large holes in the boards and rusted nails that stuck up at odd angles. There was a tape player with an abundance of tapes next to it. Lilith was familiar with many of the names from his constant talks about music. Black Sabbath, Dio, Judas Priest. She noticed that the tapes were one of the only things within the room that wasn't slightly dusty.
Lilith spotted a few figurines on top of a shelf. There were some books beside them, Lord of the Rings. She presumed that the figurines had something to do with Dungeons and Dragons.
There were posters on his walls, only a few, peeling at the corners. One large one depicted a large devil brandishing a chain, the same as his tattoo. She saw it was a Dio album. There was a Black Sabbath poster and what looked like a hand drawn hellfire poster. She smiled at this before looking around more.
His clothes fit into one drawer, band t-shirts and black jeans. A weird selection of socks and a pair of black boots she'd never seen him wear. There was what looked like a dustbin lid in the corner punctured with nails, this confused her somewhat. Eddie had told her many of his possessions had been lost with his house which explained the lack of guitar. He'd told her he'd only managed to retain what had been at a friends house. Then she wondered who that friend had been.
Lilith walked around the other side of the bed to see a cardboard shoe box. She paused staring at it, her heart still quavering from the idea of betrayal even when the opposite shone from his smile.
She nudged the box carefully with her foot, unsure what she expected to be inside. Then, with a careful push, she tipped it onto the floor.
The lid fell haphazardly away from the box as it fell to the side. They spilled out immediately, loads of them. The photographs ran out, sliding over the floor in fast succession.
Lilith paused, heart stopping for what felt like a minute.
Her smiling face was staring right back at her.
She crouched slowly to the floor, picking up the photograph. It looked just like her, standing in what seemed like the Hideout. She had a wide smile on her face, something that was unfamiliar to her then. Mid laugh, thumbs up in some sarcastic expression of happiness. She couldn't remember wearing any colour except black but there she dressed in a bright orange shirt, matching earrings hanging by her neck.
Lilith stared at the photo for a very long time before she scrambled quickly to pick up another.
Her again, ice cream in hand. She was standing by some beach, glasses perched on her head. It seemed as though she was unaware her photo was even being taken, lost in staring at her plain looking ice cream.
A third showed her sat with a guitar in her lap, an expression of deep concentration on her face. She was wearing his shirt, it was too big on her. Beside the black collar she could se a small bruise. Lilith touched her own neck as though expecting to find it there. The guitar was exactly how Eddie had described his to be, red and black jutting against each other in a wild shape of sharp edges.
They weren't all of her. There was one of people lined up against a school wall, all dressed in the same shirt. Lilith saw Eddie there, making devil horns with his fingers, tongue sticking out. He looked the same yet so very different, happy, free.
What surprised her more was the fact that she recognised more of them, standing in a line.
Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair.
Her mouth was dry, her heart racing. Those kids didn't know Eddie, they never had done and Lilith had certainly never been to a beach, never learnt how to play guitar, never smiled without a care in the world.
As she collected the photos in her hands, she saw another staring up at her.
Lilith felt she could cry from the sheer frustration of it all, this idea that she was being tricked, that somebody wanted to wrap her mind and her perceptions of everyone else.
The photo wasn't taken by Eddie, he was standing in it. Dressed in a dark shirt, hair tied back with a wide smile on his face. The girl beside him was leant against his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her, pulling her closer. Her hair in a ponytail, her smile so bright that her eyes were hardly open. She wore a guitar pick necklace, similar to his own. She had her arm around his waist, hugging him impossibly nearer.
The girl was of course not just a girl, it was her.
Lilith's breath had hitched in her throat when she heard the noise of the door opening in the bar below her.
In a flash of light she grabbed the collection of photographs, the collection of lies before she turned and strode down the steps again.
Eddie was already staring at her when she strode into the room, clearly a second ahead of her. There was a bag over his shoulder and an expression of confusion on his face. He looked so similar to how he had done in that photo, hair away from his face, his shirt depicting an Iron Maiden album cover.
"Flower?" He frowned, "What're you doing here?"
"What are these?" She brandished the photographs. "What the fuck are these Eddie!"
His eyes flashed to the photographs and in the same moment his eyes darkened, his expression seemed to sulk as he let out a dejected sigh.
"You went up to your mothers room didn't you?"
"I trusted you!" Lilith yelled, "I don't understand what you're trying to do to me but I won't let you! I won't let you manipulate me"
She threw the photos at him as though this was going to do any good, they fluttered through the air like snowflakes, softly drifting around his face like the breaths of wind.
"I'm not trying to manipulate you" he spoke as they slowly fell to the floor.
Lilith shook her head wildly, desperately trying to avoid his eyes as though worried he would submerge her back into a spell again. Her breathing was rapid, hands slightly shaking and she wasn't sure whether it was a reaction of fear or of anger.
"Lilith you just have to listen to me" Eddie pleaded.
She felt she was done listening, shaking her head as though her life depended on it. Tears pooled in her eyes, a sob caught in her throat as she thought of him. His smile, his laugh. The way he'd looked in her bed, clouds of dark curls spreading over the white sheets below him. His perfection, the glimmer in his eyes. An unmatched beauty that had crafted all her dreams in some unreachable magic.
"Hopper was right about you" Lilith snapped as she started to stride forwards, walking right past his shoulder, "I should've listened to him"
"Hey, hey" Eddie was by her side in an instant, "don't do this... please you gotta hear me out"
"So you can lie to me again?" Her voice broke as she turned to him furiously, "I trusted you! I cared about you"
"All I wanted was to keep you safe" Eddie told her, grabbing her shoulders as though hoping to ground her in place, "all I wanted was to help you remember"
The word cut into her breath and for a moment her lungs seemed to contract with the surprise that hit her. Lilith wanted to understand his plan, as though believing he was still some serpent wrapping around her. Mirrored eyes in tears and the feeling of his hands on her. She was stiff, unable to shake her head as she stared at him.
"Remember what?" Lilith whispered.
"Everything"
"I haven't forgotten anything" she snapped, "I don't know what you're trying to achieve but it isn't going to work"
She pushed his arms away from her with a fierce shrug before she turned again like a flash with her eyes set desperately on the door in front of her.
"What were you doing before the war started?" Eddie called.
Lilith paused, still facing away from him. Somehow her intrigue asked her to stay.
"You must've been at high school, right?" Eddie asked, "or maybe you'd graduated... do you remember graduating, do you remember celebrating your birthday? Blowing out candles, could you tell me any present you ever received, do you know how old you are?"
"Stop it!" Lilith snapped.
"What about your friends, surely you had friends" Eddie went on, "did you ever have a pet? Did you ever get drunk, do you know what your favourite drink was? Do you remember Christmas? Do you remember any holiday you ever took? What about phone calls, did anyone ever kiss you? Do you remember what your bedroom looked like, your garden? Have you ever broken a bone, have you ever been on a plane?"
"Seriously stop it!" Lilith shouted as she turned to face him, tears running down her face.
"They're simple questions Lilith... can you answer any of them?" He asked simply.
"What are you doing to me?" She sobbed, feeling as though her soul was dragging her to the ground.
"I'm not doing anything" Eddie walked forwards slowly, "didn't you find it strange that you had no idea how this war started? That you didn't remember that the town was overrun by monsters?"
"I don't understand" she shook her head.
"Lilith this isn't the war you think it is" Eddie told her,
"You don't know anything about me!" Lilith raised her voice, unsurprised by her shaken tone.
"No, you don't know anything about you" Eddie told her, "I know that you graduated in 1985 with perfect marks, you hated birthdays because you never liked attention but your dad always made you blow out candles and he always had the exact amount of them too. The best present you ever received was a walkman, you hardly took it off but when you were sixteen your dad bought you a Rubik's cube and you never managed to solve it. You're twenty-one years old, your birthday is the third of April, You had a few friends but after high school you fell apart. You never had a pet but you always fed the stray cats outside my trailer and when you were ten you begged your dad for a rabbit. You rarely got drunk but when you did you were a lightweight, your favourite drink was cherry coke. You loved Christmas ever since you were young, you used to go to Florida every other year but you always wanted to go to Paris. You used to call me every night after we met, you had a baby blue phone. No one ever kissed you before me, your bedroom was alive with posters and teddy bears because you refused to throw them out, your garden was overgrown but you planted flowers in your yard, You broke your arm when you were seven, your shoulder when you were nine. You hated flying on planes, you get travel sickness but you did it anyway because you loved exploring new places... I know you Lilith, I know you better than anyone else in this world"
Tears had coated her face as she stared at him, face contorted into shock. She din't know what to do, what to think. It didn't make sense, he didn't know her. She'd never known him before the war and the implications scared her. But then it slowly sunk in. She couldn't answer any of his questions, not a single one.
"Who are you?" Lilith whispered.
"I'm just Eddie" he spoke, "I know you're probably scared... will you just let me explain"
Lilith thought about it for a moment before she nodded. Eddie sighed in relief before he turned to the bar and pulled one of the dusted stools away from the surface, screeching across the floor before he patted the leather.
"You're gonna want to sit down"
Lilith walked forwards, legs shaking slightly as she pushed herself up onto the chair and clasped her hands in her lap.
"The first thing you should know" Eddie sighed, "is that Genora doesn't exist"
A dry sob escaped her throat, Lilith got the urge to break her skull open just so some simple explanation could pool out onto the bar. Genora was her home, everything she knew. She'd grown up in it, she'd seen its beginning and end.
"This" Eddie gestured around, "is Hawkins"
"How?"
"I told you Hawkins was central to everything" Eddie smiled lightly, "it is, we're in it"
"But--"
"Why would Brenner change the name?" Eddie interrupted, "he went to great lengths to ensure that you wouldn't remember anything. Taking you from your homes, rewriting your stories, cutting off any actual connections you had"
"No" Lilith shook her head, "no this isn't happening"
"I told you that Brenner started this war" Eddie spoke gently. "What I didn't tell you was that everyone knew about it. All of Hawkins was aware of who he was, notorious scientist who had caused damage to their homes more than once. The thing is Lilith, he was the enemy of this town long before the war. So, when us 'vampires' started to revolt against him he knew he needed to convince everyone that we were monsters and the only way he could do that was by making you forget everything you ever knew"
"But... if I really had forgotten everything" Lilith frowned. "I would've realised by now. There is no way I've lasted two years without noticing that I don't know my own birthday"
"He never gave you any reason to question it" Eddie continued, "no ones ever asked you any personal questions... have they?"
"Well... no"
"Exactly, his plan was to never give any of you the time to think about it" Eddie explained, "and it's worked... he's got you all wrapped around his finger"
Lilith stared up at him, the way he leant on the bar as he watched every reaction she gave to the tale. Her mind was like a swamp, she wasn't sure whether she could make light of it. Confused what to trust, baffled by what she didn't know.
"Whatever chemical is in the serum he gave us" Eddie sighed, "it counteracts the drug he gave all of you... so when we turn people, they remember. It's why we do it"
"So... why didn't you just turn me?"
"I told you, I never turned anyone" Eddie shook his head, "I couldn't bear the idea of you going through pain and I guess I convinced myself that I could get you to remember without turning you. Hopper thought it was stupid, it's why he warned you against me. He thought I was just gonna make everything worse"
"The first time we met you told me Brenner had stolen something from you" Lilith murmured, "it was me... wasn't it?"
Eddie's expression broke slightly, eyes hazed as though he was about to cry. She watched his knuckles turn white as he clenched his hands around the bar.
"He took everything from me" Eddie spoke, voice shaking. "But you...I never wanted to lose you"
"Did you love me?" She asked uncertainly.
"Love you?" Eddie scoffed, "I adored you, I worshipped you, I would've died for you. You were everything to me... I still love you, nothings changed. Not in my heart anyway"
"Did I... love you?"
"I hope so" Eddie smiled, "You certainly told me you did"
Lilith lowered her gaze slightly to stare at her hands. Everything seemed strange then, he had loved her from the very beginning. Known her through everything and the more she thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense. The way he'd always protected her, the way he'd latched onto her. The way he'd stared at her even before they'd been anything except enemies.
"Your tattoo?" Lilith looked up again.
"For you" he nodded.
"Has anyone ever remembered, without being turned?"
"No" he shook his head, "I was convinced that I could do it... my plan was never to get you to fall for me again but after that night we spent together I realised it was never going to work. Us being so close again... I was so sure it would be the memory you needed. After that I started to tell you that going to your mothers room didn't matter. I knew it would only confuse you and I started to believe Hopper was right"
"Before, you spoke about my dad" Lilith added quickly, "about the candles and the rabbit--"
"Hopper raised you" Eddie told her, "Brenner never meant anything to you. I told you he wanted to create new narratives to avoid memory... before Hopper he was married to your mother and I guess he saw this as a final revenge towards Hopper"
"My mothers room it was... empty"
"She was never there" Eddie sighed, "I'm sorry flower... she did die, just as you remember I presume but she never set foot in that church. She died when you were 16"
"Oh" Lilith whispered, stupid to hope that it ever could've been different.
"How are you feeling?" Eddie asked, "I never wanted to spring this on you... I never wanted to tell you I just hoped that you'd remember. When you realised what I'd lost you'd want to give it back to me because I thought... thought it would all come back to you"
"I feel a bit... lost" Lilith shrugged, "I don't know what to think"
"I know it's a lot" Eddie stepped forwards gently, "if you want me to leave you alone I will"
"No" she shook her head, reaching out and taking his hand. "Don't go"
He paused in front of her as she found his hand, lacing their fingers awkwardly and feeling the cold metal of his rings push against her palm. Lilith chanced a gaze up to his eyes to see that his expression had softened as though he wasn't as scared anymore. His shoulders dropped, a wry smile coming to lay over his face.
"Does this mean you trust me?" Eddie asked, "because I'd understand completely if you--"
"I trust you" Lilith interrupted, "I never trusted Brenner nor a word that he told me and well... I can't fathom another explanation towards why I can't remember"
Eddie smiled at this, moving his other hand forwards to rest on the side of her face, his thumb gently running over her cheek.
"Words can't describe how much I miss you" he murmured, "I always told you that I'd come back to you... that at the beginning I'd find you and tell you the truth"
"Why didn't you?" Lilith asked sadly,
"I was scared" his voice cracked slightly, "scared of looking you in the eye and knowing you saw me as a stranger... it killed me, when I saw you again"
"But... if you'd just turned me--"
"No" he spoke rather sharply, "I can't do that to you flower I just can't, I'm sorry"
"Surely someone can" Lilith squeezed his hand, "I want to remember... don't you want me to remember?"
"Of course I do" he snapped and suddenly his hand had vanished from hers. "It's what I've wanted from the day I lost you but it's not that simple. There has to be another way... another way for you to come back to me without me having to take your life"
"You said it yourself, you're not dead" Lilith sighed.
"I might as well be!"
"Don't say that" Lilith stated harshly as she got to her feet, "you're just as human as I am... I'm not scared of you and I'm not scared of being like you"
Eddie's expression was filled with hurt, slowly she watched as he turned to pick up the discarded photographs from the floor, turning them over in his hands to stare at them. She watched his fingers shake slightly as he bunched them into a pile and laid them down onto the bar. He stood, staring over them for a moment before she saw his face crumple.
"Hey" she sighed, pacing forwards immediately.
"I'm sorry" Eddie spoke as he hid his face behind one of his hands.
"Don't be" Lilith murmured, pulling his hand away carefully before she cupped his face between her palms. His eyes were slightly red, it was clear he was trying to hold back a sob as he stared at her. Eyes glassy, expression frail.
Lilith leant forwards, placing a soft kiss to his cheek. She heard him cry slightly before he ducked his head into her shoulder. She let him rest there for a moment before she wrapped her arms around his waist and dragged him closer. Their bodies pressed together, his hair touching her skin. There was a light shake in her shoulders as she ran her hands up and down his back.
"I just... really miss you" he murmured, "and it's been so hard... so hard being so close to you when you see me as someone completely different"
"I know" Lilith consoled him gently, running her fingers through his hair.
"And I just thought... that I was finally gonna get you back" Eddie muttered, "I was so sure that you'd remember and... I don't want to turn you flower, I'm sorry but I just don't"
"What are you gonna do after the war ends?" Lilith asked, standing back and pushing his hair out of his eyes while he stared at her.
"I dunno" he sniffed, "haven't got that far yet"
"Surely if Brenner can find a way to turn you back it won't matter--"
"We don't know that" he shook his head.
She stared at him sadly. Lilith was aware by that point that she wasn't going to be able to get through to him. It was clear that Eddie had a strong distaste towards the idea of making Lilith like him and she was starting to realise nothing was going to change that.
Yet the consequence hurt. Lilith trusted him, she knew she did because how else could he have known so much? But that didn't mean her mind was convinced. It hurt to be left outside of the truth while her mind longed to know everything. She didn't even know herself, the eyes in the mirror that knew nothing of experience. More than anything she desired memory, wanted to understand the love in his eyes, to remember a life that wasn't filled with darkness.
A part of her resented Eddie and his desire to keep her as she was. Lilith knew that he had his reasons. After all, she may not understand herself but she also didn't understand the pain that he had been through, that he was still going through. Lilith couldn't stand there and claim he was shielding the easy pathway from her when her mind had never experienced what it was like to be him. Then again, he had never experienced what it was like to be so lost in the manipulation of truth.
"What do we do now?" Lilith asked.
"I dunno" Eddie shrugged, "I didn't plan on this ever happening"
Lilith reached for the photographs carefully, finding the one of the two of them together. Her heart contracted just by looking at it, especially then that she understood the meaning behind their close smiles and the way she stared at the camera as though she didn't have a care in the world. Eddie holding her close to him, their arms wrapped around one another.
"We look really happy" Lilith murmured.
"We were" Eddie smiled.
"We need to end this war" Lilith looked up to Eddie quickly,
"You have an idea?" Eddie raised his eyebrows.
"They're starting to trust Brenner less and less" Lilith told him, "Steve... he's been less of an asshole recently and he seems to think that Brenner is planning something, something big"
"What sort of something?" Eddie frowned.
"I don't know but it can't be anything good" Lilith replied.
"So you think... Steve'll listen to you?"
"Maybe" Lilith nodded, "I could probably convince him that Brenner started this war but... he has pretty rigid opinions on your kind"
"Well there's a surprise, he always was a bit stuck up"
"You knew him?"
"You knew him" Eddie shrugged, "you were in the same year in high school although he was all 'King Steve' back then. I always assumed that whatever Brenner gave you must of removed all the change he went through because towards the end he was actually a pretty decent guy. Helped destroy the monsters, helped save my life"
"Oh" Lilith frowned, "I can't imagine you two getting along"
"Stranger things have happened" Eddie smiled,
"I think convincing him would be worth a shot" Lilith nodded. "If we have a sense of revolution against Brenner he's cornered, right? He's only lasted as long as this because he still has people on his side"
"And because we can't kill him" Eddie pointed out, "he knows that, uses it on a daily basis. We kill him... there goes our chance of ever getting outta this life"
"But if we turn against him... he'll have no choice but to make that serum, to change you back?"
"It could work" Eddie replied, "but I don't want you putting yourself in unnecessary danger"
"It's hardly unnecessary"
"You know what I mean" Eddie smiled, pushing some of her hair back before he leant forwards and kissed her forehead. Her eyes fluttered shut at the sensation as she leant into him. For a moment she forgot where they were, who they were. All that she knew was that they were together.
"I will remember" Lilith spoke simply as she looked up at him, "I'll remember you Eddie, I promise I will. I'm gonna come back to you"
"I've always been here" Eddie smiled, "I'll still be here when you find me. Here after all this time, still hopelessly and madly in love with you"
☆★☆
A/n
words - 5141
published- 9th February 2023
okay I caved because
I'm impatient so here's
two chapters in one day
I tried to hint at this twist
without making it
obvious so I hope it worked