CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
just breathe
⋆*✧･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:
WHEN VIKTOR HAD GOTTEN his memories back—a process that had occurred through a convoluted hallucination via 1960s FBI drugs—one of the last things he'd remembered was the fight at the cabin that had culminated in Allison's slit throat. This made sense; after all, everything had basically returned in order, as if his life was a chronological story. But he'd been unprepared for it. And not just the horrifying act of slitting his own sister's throat, either—though that had been terrible enough. No, he hadn't been prepared to hear Nadine confess her love to him.
It had been an awkward, desperate confession, unsure of whether it was romantic or platonic, but it had so much passion to it, so much honesty. It was as if she'd opened her chest to bare her naked, throbbing heart to him. No strings attached.
Remembering what he'd said back to her—"you've never been a part of this"—had been like a slap to the face, even if it had been overshadowed by the violent event that had followed. And yes, he knew now that Leonard—Harold—had been manipulating him, playing him like the violin he'd always held so dear, but knowing that he had said those words to her, harsh as the bite of Antarctic wind, made him hate himself a little. Nadine hadn't deserved it, even if their relationship was only just beginning to bloom at the time. She'd deserved better from him, and he'd never given it.
Even so, it seemed as if she'd forgiven him. Not just for rejecting her with such cruelty, but the whole ending-the-world thing, too. She'd been so patient with him even when he hadn't remembered her name, always sticking up for him and having his back, and he was immeasurably grateful for it.
When he fully recognized her again, he never once took these gestures as anything more than friendship. The two of them were both in separate relationships, after all, and Nadine truly seemed enamoured by Molly. There was no way she was still in love with him—if she even had been in the first place. During the two years she'd spent in the 1960s, she'd moved on. There was nothing else to it.
Then Viktor had heard the humming of her energy wave—which was practically a roar of a thousand different emotions that all swirled in Nadine's core—and, well. He'd felt something. He wasn't exactly sure what it was—it was difficult to pick out a single feeling in the wave—but he knew it was about him. It had connected to him like a shimmering thread, glowing fierce and hot.
Of course, this could just be their friendship. They were friends, now—best friends, partners, family. Nadine had other strings connecting to each of Viktor's siblings, all vibrating with their own feelings. But while Klaus's and Allison's were a little stronger than others—though Luther's was resonating with a hope for more—they weren't nearly as powerful as Viktor's. If the others were stars, twinkling galaxies away, then Viktor's was the Sun. And he had no idea what to think about it.
Fortunately, there were more important topics than Nadine's feelings for him to keep his attention on. After Allison had broken their connection—and Nadine's eyes had flashed the same hue as Harlan's—it was necessary to do the whole thing over. Something that Harlan wasn't particularly pleased about.
"You're still using the sounds that you can hear, like the rain or the wind or the sound of your own breathing," he said. "You have to learn to use the sounds that you can't."
"Hey, he did that with me," Nadine pointed out. She was standing back, a good distance away, even though they weren't creating vortexes anymore. Viktor noticed that she was shooting the occasional glare at Harlan. She and Allison both seemed to put the blame on him for their failed connection, even though Viktor had been consenting to it the entire time. Yes, it had hurt—worse than anything he'd felt in his life, actually—but if that pain led to success in his quest to take back Harlan's powers, it would be worth it.
Allison and Nadine had always been overprotective, though. Even though Viktor was no longer the helpless member of the family who couldn't hold his own in combat, they always leaped to defend him. Perhaps it was muscle memory, or maybe his size (which definitely belied his strength) just dredged up those instincts. Either way, Viktor wished it would stop. He didn't need to be coddled, and he certainly didn't need his family putting themselves in danger for him.
Harlan sighed. "No, he didn't. His connection was a success, but he was still using audible noises. Your heartbeat, the blood running through your veins, the breeze in your hair. The goal is to stop this reliance on that."
"Yeah, how am I supposed to do that?" Viktor asked.
"When you left, I realized I had this... thing inside me," Harlan said. "This power. I hoped I could use it for something good. Something beautiful. I didn't know what it was. I... I called it marigold."
"Like the flower?"
Harlan nodded. "You know how bees find pollen?"
"They smell it?" Nadine suggested. Harlan shook his head.
"Bees have a positive charge, flowers have a negative one. The bees use the hairs on their body to detect the interaction between the fields. They can hear the pollen."
"Okay. What—" Viktor scoffed. "What are you saying?"
Harlan's hands rose to the headphones around his neck. "You need to stop listening with your ears." He pulled them off and handed them over to Viktor. Viktor took them, glancing at Nadine. She shrugged, her face pinched with worry. Viktor placed the headphones over his ears. "Listen with your marigold. And find mine."
The headphones weren't noise-cancelling, but they blocked out just enough that everything was fuzzier, harder to pick up on. Viktor inhaled, feeling his breath without hearing it. He took Harlan's hands and let his eyes drift shut.
At first, reaching out blindly seemed silly. Before, he'd used the sounds around him as a guide to urge him on. It was like echolocation. Being without those noises, however, was the equivalent of sinking in deep water. There was nothing but darkness around him.
It was difficult to focus, but he tried to channel it down to the press of Harlan's hands against his, much like he'd done with Nadine. Nadine had been easier, though. It was like she'd wanted to be connected to. Harlan was more evasive, his signal muffled. Viktor really had to grope to even get near it.
Listen with your marigold, Viktor reminded himself. Of course, he immediately started imagining the flower, but he sniffed and forced himself to concentrate. He dredged deep within himself, willing the piece of him that had been suppressed for twenty-nine years to finally come to life. Then it actually helped to imagine it as a flower he was coaxing to grow.
He could tell that his powers had come into action by the slight shift of light beneath his closed eyelids. Still, he kept them closed, continuing to bring that flower into the Sun.
It took a few minutes, but he finally got it to unfurl all of its petals. He let them quiver, making themselves known, and then...
Well, it was hard to describe. He was the flower, but he was also the bee. It wasn't charges he felt, like real bees did, but the same vibrations as earlier. Except, this time, they were stronger. Probably because Viktor was hearing them without sound.
Harlan's marigold was like a bright light in a pitch-black cave. Viktor reached out to him with ease. Finally, their hands connected.
And sensation flooded every inch of his pores.
He couldn't even feel his own body anymore. There was just his core, and then there was Harlan, all of Harlan, his own core swirling with the same sensations. Nothing else existed. They might as well have been the only two people in the world.
Of course, they weren't. And perhaps, if Viktor had remembered that, he might have actually picked up on what was going on in front of him. The dark clouds that had coalesced. The rumble of thunder.
And Nadine's panicked screams from below.
AT FIRST, EVERYTHING HAD been normal—well, as normal as the process of transferring powers from one person to another could be, anyway. Just like before, a glow had formed at both Viktor's and Harlan's chests, the places their powers seemed to manifest. Nadine had crossed her fingers, praying no whirling vortexes would appear and Viktor wouldn't cry out in pain. And at first, it had seemed promising. Nothing had happened except for a slight change to the air—the sweet, pungent sting of ozone. Even though this usually preceded a thunderstorm, Nadine wasn't worried. She'd felt changes before, static and metal settling under her tongue, and perhaps this was as normal as those.
Then the storm clouds had begun to roll in, and she grew a little worried.
She'd already known that Viktor had the ability to influence the weather. Oh, she'd never seen him do it, but it was kind of a by-proxy thing—Harlan, with Viktor's powers, had caused a snowstorm in Texas. Given that Harlan had Viktor's powers, it was kind of assumed that he would be able to do the same thing.
"Viktor?" she called out tentatively, taking a step forward. She didn't risk getting too close—she didn't want a repeat of whatever the hell had happened earlier (she would definitely have to unpack that soon, when all of this was over)—but she couldn't just stand there. "Is everything all right?"
Viktor didn't answer. His eyes were open, gleaming blue, but they were glazed over. He wasn't seeing her; Nadine doubted he was even really seeing Harlan, either. Nor did he seem to hear anything audible, either.
His skin had grown pale again, though, and his expression was lax enough to make Nadine's heart pound. Seeing him like this, all dead-eyed and half-dead, his mouth partially open and his chest only rising and falling because it was an automatic instinct... well, it wasn't exactly her favourite sight. Without the usual warmth in his eyes and the quirk of his smile, Viktor didn't seem like Viktor. And that wasn't right.
"Viktor?" she called again, a little louder. "Can you hear me?" She glanced up at the sky. It was as dark and gray as a seething ocean, casting a gloomy shadow over the entire drive-in. It had happened so fast—a blink, and anything sunny was snuffed out. A boot snapped down on an ant. "Is this normal?"
Thunder rumbled, low and menacing, and Nadine shivered. The temperature had dropped, too, and her short-sleeved blue blouse was no longer enough to shield her from the elements. Goosebumps rose on her bare arms and speckled the back of her neck. She craned her neck back up to the sky, but no rain fell. Still, the thunder persisted.
Viktor's eyes remained empty, and his expression remained blank. Nadine chewed on her lip, deliberating on whether now was the moment to create an illusion. Perhaps, if she dove into his mind and brought one to life, she could snap him out of whatever trance he'd fallen into. Unless the trance was the point?
"Harlan?" she tried. "Is this supposed to be happening?"
Harlan blinked at her with his marigold eyes. "Don't interrupt the process," he lectured. Then his face went as blank as Viktor's.
Well, that was easy for him to say when he actually had an idea of what was going on. For Nadine, a helpless bystander who'd only just learned about the concept of energy waves and vibrations and bees hearing inaudible sounds, this was excruciating. Still, she supposed she shouldn't try anything so drastic yet. Instead, she rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm them again and chewed on her lip.
The first flashes of lightning danced across the sky, still unaccompanied by any rain. The ozone smell got stronger, and static began to build up under Nadine's skin. Whether that was from the lightning or the display of superpowers, she had no idea.
She was just about to lean back on the wall again and pray that things were going the way they were supposed to when a beam shot out of Viktor's chest and hurtled its way toward Harlan's. It was met halfway with a burst from Harlan himself, and when orange and blue met in the middle, the edges of both blurred.
They were connected. Viktor had finally gotten a grasp on Harlan.
But things didn't stop there.
The vortex that formed wasn't like before, the frightening thing that had so affected Nadine when she'd accidentally been drawn into it. No, that had been a solid thing, almost like a force field blocking Nadine and Allison out. This was transparent, outlined in blue and orange and chased by gold beads of light. This seemed more like a cloud or multicoloured sand caught in a gust of wind. It whirled around both Viktor and Harlan almost as violently as the storm above, and Viktor's body went rigid again.
Fuck. Nadine clenched her fists. "Viktor?"
Her pulse roared in her ears, and her vision spotted, nearly blocking everything out. Oh, Harlan could tell her that this was natural all he wanted, but that didn't disregard the fact that this hurt Viktor. The first time he'd done it, he'd been in agony. Even though he hadn't screamed, merely moaning between clenched teeth, Nadine could tell. Sometimes when the pain grew so bad, you lost your breath to make much noise.
"Harlan!" she screamed. "Stop! It's not working again!"
Of course, even if either Harlan or Viktor had been able to hear her, her words would have been ignored. Harlan viewed this as a necessity, and Viktor seemed determined to lay down his life at every opportunity he got. As long as he was the one in pain and nobody else, he would allow this to happen.
"Fuck!"
Okay, she had no choice. The illusion was coming. She wasn't really sure what this would do, but she couldn't just do nothing. She just had to hope that connecting to Viktor's mind opened up his eyes again.
She didn't get a chance, though. Just as she was shifting through her mental catalogue as fast as humanly possible in an attempt to discern which illusion she should use—a beach, an enchanted forest, Sissy's farm—a wave of energy strong enough to knock Nadine off her feet burst free from Harlan and Viktor like a bullet fired out of a gun. She landed hard on her hands and knees, and pain immediately lanced up her palms. Blood flowed, and Nadine was so focused on the sight of it, of the red dripping, that she almost missed what happened next.
Namely, that Viktor and Harlan began to float.
Their feet left the ground in tandem, though they didn't seem to notice it. They rose gracefully as helium balloons, soaring above Nadine's head in moments. Nadine stumbled forward, her hands and knees streaked with dirt, and, for a moment, feared that they would just keep rising until they left Earth entirely. But then they stopped and just hung there, and Nadine remembered that Harlan had done the same in 1963. Apparently, their bodies knew there was a point to stop.
Even so, terror filled every inch of her. This couldn't be what was meant to happen. This was—this was dangerous. Viktor was going to kill himself if he kept this up, and maybe drag Harlan down with them. They had to find another way.
"Viktor!" she screamed again. She reached out for an illusion, but it was like a hand swatted her away. She couldn't even feel him. "Viktor!"
"Nadine!"
The sound of hurried footsteps approached from Nadine's back, then came to a halting stop right beside her. It was, of course, Allison, her eyes wide, her face bloodless.
"Allison!" Nadine turned to her. It was clear that Allison had forgotten her earlier vow to stay away when all of this was happening; in the end, her fear for her brother's safety would always win out. "Allison, I can't—there's something wrong—I can't feel him."
Allison looked up at the hovering figures in wild desperation. "Viktor!" she shouted. But if Nadine wasn't going to get to him, then neither was she.
"You were right. You were right," Nadine sobbed, tears streaming down her face. "We never should've let him do this."
"Viktor!" Allison tried again.
Viktor's body convulsed, and low groans emanated from his throat. It was just like last time, but so much worse, because now, Nadine couldn't even reach him. She was completely and utterly powerless, and to her, that was the worst thing she could be.
Another burst of energy zinged out, and Nadine and Allison were sent back again. This time, Nadine managed to stay on her feet, but it was a close thing. She was surprised blood wasn't running from her nose.
The force of that wave turned the projector on, and light beamed through Viktor and Harlan onto the giant movie screen. All you could see there were their two shadows, jerking and twitching. If you looked there and only there, you might not know something was up.
"What do we do?" Nadine cried. "What do we do?"
"Viktor!" screamed Allison for the third time, too lost in her panic to even hear Nadine. Viktor's skin had gone past simply pale, now—no, it was almost blue, and sickly. He looked like a zombie. He sounded like one, too. But he must have been in so much pain.
Then, it happened. Like a starburst, energy flung itself off Harlan. The connection that tethered them two together shook, and then shifted. Where the blue and orange had previously met in the middle, the orange began to push itself forward, zipping its way closer and closer to Viktor. Harlan wailed. From his open mouth came small, golden orbs, almost like spores. They streamed into Viktor's mouth and forced themselves down his throat.
When Viktor had swallowed the last one, the connection cut. This third and final wave was stronger than the first two combined—Nadine and Allison stood no chance against it. They were both sent flying backwards, tumbling through the air. Nadine didn't even have time to scream before she landed flat on her back.
Pain lanced through her, and with it, oxygen punched itself from her lungs. She wheezed, opening and closing her mouth like a fish, but nothing happened. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't fucking breathe, and Viktor might be dead, and... God, couldn't she ever be useful?
"Nadine!" Allison shouted. Nadine opened her eyes (when had she ever closed them?) to find her friend hovering over her head. Hands settled on her shoulders, shaking her. "Nadine, can you hear me?"
Nadine opened her mouth again, but nothing but a breathless gasp broke through. Her chest burned, and her head began to spin. Fuck, she couldn't think straight.
"Nadine. Nadine. Breathe! Come on! Breathe!"
Nadine's eyes were half-closed, but she swore that in the haze, Allison's eyes flashed again. Something settled into her body, permeating every inch of her being. A command took over every other thought in her mind. Breathe.
Air finally rushed back in, and Nadine immediately began to cough, her vision blurry with tears. Allison put her hand under Nadine's back and helped her sit up, and Nadine continued to cough. The oxygen stung as it entered her body, searing her throat. She spat out a glob of what seemed to be a mixture of saliva and blood.
Finally, finally, her throat cleared. She took in a deep breath through her nose, and it went down with no complaints. Her entire body shook, though, and her vision still wasn't entirely clear. Dimly, she felt Allison's hand rubbing her back.
"Hey. Hey. It's okay. It's okay."
"Y—yeah," Nadine choked out. The word came out half-formed, wheezy. She tried again. It came a little easier, this time. "Yeah. I'm... I'm okay."
But Viktor might not be.
Nadine lurched like she'd just woken up from a vicious nightmare. "Vik... Viktor," she managed. "Fuck. Fuck."
She'd never seen Allison so afraid, her eyes wide and round as the Moon. Her friend immediately grabbed her arm and practically pulled her to her feet, which Nadine allowed even with her entire body aching. The two of them raced over to the scene of the crime, which was eerily still. The storm clouds had already rolled out of the sky, like they had never been there in the first place.
Viktor and Harlan both lay crumpled on the ground.
They were alive—Nadine could tell by the rise and fall of their chests. But they weren't doing well. When Allison and Nadine ran over to Viktor, he groaned, but seemed unable to open his eyes. They immediately knelt by him.
"Hey. Hey. Come on, come on, come on." Allison took her brother's head in her lap. "Hey, hey. You okay?"
"Viktor?" Nadine asked tentatively. Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay. Please, please, please, please—
"Hey," Allison said again. Viktor's eyes fluttered.
"Harlan?" he asked.
From his spot on the ground, Harlan looked up. "It's gone," he breathed. An incredulous chuckle slipped past his lips. "We did it."
"Okay. He's okay," Allison whispered. "Okay? Hey. Hey. He's okay."
"And you're going to be okay, too," Nadine added. Without even realizing it, she extended a hand and stroked his cheek. His skin was cold underneath her palm. She was still shaking—though this time it wasn't from the knockback. "All right? That's a—that's a goddamn order, Viktor."
Viktor met her eyes for a brief moment, and a smile formed on his face. "I didn't realize... you could order me around," he got out.
"Of course I fucking can," Nadine said, pressing her forehead to his. More tears fell. "You're my best friend, after all."
"Only... only that?"
Nadine drew back, unsure of what that meant, but Viktor's eyes were already falling shut. His breath evened, and it was clear that he'd fallen unconscious. A shaky breath fell from Allison's lips.
"Oh, my God."
Nadine trembled. "You did it," she whispered, even though Viktor wasn't awake to hear her. Viktor Hargreeves, who meant so much to her and didn't even realize it. Viktor Hargreeves, who the world would be pitch-black without. "You fucking did it, Viktor. You took his powers back, you fucking lunatic. God. God."
Then she did something she'd never done before. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. His skin was almost arctic beneath her lips.
"You dumbass," she breathed.
She closed her eyes and lay down beside him, intertwining his hand with hers. If she did this, she could pretend he was just sleeping.
Within moments, she fell asleep with him.
WHEN NADINE WOKE UP, she found herself laying on the floor of the drive-in theatre's diner, a blanket tucked gently over her shoulders. There was a warm body beside her, too, leg pressing against leg. When she turned blearily, blinking sleep out of her eyes, she found Viktor curled up against her, his breaths soft and even. His hair was slightly mussed, but his face had returned to a healthy colour. His eyes darted beneath their lids, telling her he was dreaming rather than unconscious. Relief immediately swelled through her. He was alive.
Harlan and Allison must have brought them here, Nadine thought, sitting up and stretching the kinks out of her back. She adjusted the blanket over Viktor tenderly, ensuring that his entire body was covered. A little sigh left his mouth, and he shifted slightly to the right.
Thank God you're okay, Nadine thought, a shuddering exhale leaving her lips. Seeing him in the air like that, twitching and in pain... she couldn't even describe the feeling. Saying that it was like getting her heart ripped in half and then stomped on would've been an understatement. It was the kind of terror that latches onto you like a parasite, gleefully sucking your emotions dry.
For a minute, it'd been like Christopher had gotten a hold of her again, but even worse, because it was real. It was real, and she was helpless, and she was going to lose someone else so soon after she'd lost Molly. Then she'd truly plunge into darkness.
She leaned down, kissing his cheek for the second time ever. His skin was still cool, but not as cold as it'd been earlier. He was getting better. He just needed to rest.
"Nadine," came a voice behind her.
Nadine whirled, only to find herself face-to-face with Harlan. He'd wrapped himself in another blanket. Dark, heavy bags circled his eyes, and his eyes were bloodshot. What Viktor had done had obviously taken a toll on him, too, though judging by the way he was standing—chin up, spine straight, determined not to keel over—it was obvious he didn't want anyone to notice. Nadine did, anyway.
"Harlan," she said cautiously. "Are you... ehm. Are you okay?"
"Getting there." Harlan nodded at her. "What about you? You've been out for nearly two hours."
Nadine shrugged. "I'm not the one who just got launched into the air. I'm fine."
"Allison's waiting outside," Harlan said, his eyes darting briefly to Viktor's prone form before meeting Nadine's gaze again. "She's been a nervous wreck since both you and Viktor blacked out. She'll be glad to know that you're awake."
"Viktor's gonna be okay, though, right?" Nadine asked.
He nodded. "He just needs his rest. Doing what he did took up a lot of his energy. I used to feel the same way."
Nadine chewed on her lip. "...How does it feel?" she ventured. "You're powerless, now. Do you feel any different?"
"Of course I do. It's... it's quieter. I almost feel like I've gone deaf, or someone clapped a hand over my ears. But it's peaceful, too. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
"And added onto Viktor's?" Nadine asked.
"No. Viktor was born with his power, even if it was suppressed. I was never meant to have it. His body has grown and adapted to bear it. Mine never did."
"Oh."
"Let's go outside," Harlan said. "The both of us could use some fresh air."
"Sure," Nadine said.
She pushed past him, making her way out of the diner. At the threshold, she stopped and took one last glance at Viktor. His mouth was slightly open; his breathing even. His lashes fluttered slightly, caught in the slightest of breezes. Something warmed in her chest at that.
When she finally stepped outside, Allison was standing with her back to her, scuffing her feet on the ground. But when the door closed, she turned, relief filling her eyes. "Jesus Christ. Nadine, are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm okay," Nadine said. "What happened was just—well, it was a lot."
"Good." A smile formed on Allison's face. "I'm glad." She turned to Harlan, who had emerged after Nadine. "How's Viktor?"
"Sleeping," Harlan replied. "He's exhausted." He met eye contact with both Nadine and Allison in turn. "Thank you for before, letting us finish what we needed to do."
"He's my brother," Allison said. "I'd do anything for him."
"And he's my—my best friend," added Nadine. "Though it's not like we really had a choice in the matter."
Harlan ignored this. "What happens to me now?"
"You go home," Allison said. "We clean up your mess."
"With the Sparrows."
"Yeah."
"We're gonna figure it out," Nadine said. "Viktor had this whole plan, and I'm gonna fix it because it was stupid and self-sacrificial. But we're gonna figure it out."
Allison said nothing, putting another cigarette to her lips. Harlan frowned at her, then turned to walk back inside. At the last minute, though, he stopped.
"It's okay," he said to her. "I know why you don't like me."
"I don't like the hold you have on my brother," Allison said, at the same time Harlan said, "It's because of what I did. To all of you."
Nadine blinked. "What?"
"And what is that, exactly?" Allison asked.
Harlan's eyes darkened. He turned away from them, looking down.
Immediately, Nadine's heart began to pound. What was he talking about? What had he done? Was there something more than what had happened today?
"I... I... thought Viktor told you," Harlan said eventually. "About the mothers."
Nadine's stomach lurched. What about the mothers?
Of course, it only took her a few seconds to connect the dots. When that happened, her knees buckled. It took all of her strength to keep herself on her feet.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
"It was you," Allison breathed, voice tinged with the same horror that filled every inch of Nadine's body. "You're the reason they're all dead."
Harlan didn't deny it. "It was an accident," he said instead. "I didn't mean to hurt them."
"You're the reason Claire's dead." Allison started toward him, brandishing her cigarette. Nadine couldn't even move. Her entire body was rigid with shock.
"My powers spilled over. Got in my head."
"And the reason the whole world is ending!"
"I... I couldn't stop myself," Harlan said.
"Viktor knew." Allison gestured accusingly at the diner. Harlan trembled.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't want—"
"Sorry is what you say when you spill a glass of milk, not obliterate somebody's child!" Allison's face was screwed up, the previously concealed grief and rage coming into the light.
Harlan continued to shake. "What are you gonna do?"
Allison narrowed her eyes. And it was in just that gesture that Nadine knew. She knew what Allison was planning.
And it wasn't going to be pretty.
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HAVEN: and here we go :(((
thanks for reading <33