February 18, 2010
Remember those walls I built?
Well baby they're tumbling down
They didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now
It's like I been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't never gonna shut you out
Everywhere we lookin' now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything we need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
Today is the day the I Am... Tour has officially ended. After finishing the song Halo, I said:
Thank you guys so much for being here. This wouldn't have happened without you guys and I love you guys so much. I am yours. Until next time!
The floor below me lowered me to backstage. I walked backstage and said goodbye to my dancers and my band. After that, I caught up with my family and my future family and I hugged everyone. The only person that wasn't there was my father. He was here on this tour, it's just he didn't want to be around Joe and his family. I guess he didn't like the fact that our family was getting along with Joe's family. When they saw me, everyone gave me hugs and wooed as Joe kissed me and I carried JoJo on my hip.
"Bey killed that shit," Jey yelled and everyone laughed. Trinity turned around and hit him causing us to laugh again.
"Jey don't curse in front of my baby, moron," I told him. Everyone chuckled and Mama Pat walked up to me.
"You were amazing and your voice was everything," Patricia said.
"Thank you," I said.
"And you know what, you should teach me how to do the uh oh dance so I can beat Trin in a twerking battle," Jey said, attempting to twerk causing us all to laugh once again. I shook my head.
"You are something else Jey," I told him.
"So JoJo tell mommy what you told me when she was on stage," Joe said. She smiled hard and shook her head. I guess she was very shy.
"Oh come on." A couple of minutes later, JoJo built up the courage to tell me what she told Joe.
"I said, "You're the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world," she replied softly.
"Aww thank you, Bug."
"Well we got a large yacht waiting for us so let's go," Trinity said.
"Oh wait, Beyoncé you're not changing out of your costume?," my mother asked.
"No, ain't nobody got time for that," I told her. We all began walking out of the arena until I heard someone call me.
"Beyoncé." I turned around and it was Jay. Joe didn't leave my side. As I looked at both men, Joe was a bit more taller and muscular and looked like he can snap Jay in half in seconds.
"What do you want Jay?," I asked.
"Can I talk to you in private?"
"No. You and my father got what you wanted and that was being on this tour to annoy the hell out of me with your presence. What can you possibly want now?"
"It would be better if I can talk to you in private," he said.
"I believe the lady said no and whatever you can say to her, you can say in front of me," Joe replied, putting his arm around me. I know Jay long and well enough to know whether he's scared or not and right now, I can tell he's scared of Joe. He just didn't show it.
"Last time I checked, this was a A and B conversation," Jay said, getting cocky. That was strike one! Jay shouldn't have gotten cocky because he was definitely gonna get his feelings hurt and I wasn't gonna be the one to do it.
"And last time I checked, it wasn't a conversation. You asked my woman a question and I answered it. So if you got a problem then I suggest you solve it." Then Jay got in Joe's face. Big mistake! Now that is strike two! Jay does not know what the hell he's getting himself into.
"Trin take JoBug for me," I told her. I did not want JoJo to see her father fight. Trin hurried over and took JoBug from me and took her to another room. I backed away from both men because I knew Jay was about to go straight to strike three and was about to get his ass kicked.
"Beyoncé can speak for herself. I mean, after all, she's still in love with me." Jay smirked, looked at me and then looked back up at Joe. Joe was pissed off. He just didn't show it and he was very good at hiding his feelings. I'm pretty sure Jay thinks that his little comment didn't faze Joe one bit but it did and Joe didn't want him to see it.
"She's mine and will always be mine. You got that pretty boy?," Jay continued, poking Joe's hard chest as he called Joe a "pretty boy." Now that was strike three! Joe looked down at Jay's finger that was still connected to his chest and smirked. In one second, Joe twisted Jay's arm the wrong way and uppercut the shit out of him to the point where he flew up in the air and fell to the ground.
"Ooooo damn," Jey and Jimmy said, together. Jey ran over to Jay and hovered over him.
"You got knocked the fuck out," he shouted. Then he jogged back over to the rest of the family laughing because of what he just did. This guy really needs to stop watching Friday. Then Joe walked over to Jay.
"Now you listen to me and you listen good. Stay away from Beyoncé. Whatever you two had in the past, is the past. She's not anyone's property. She's a beautiful, independent woman that knows who and what she wants and she certainly doesn't want you. So I'm gonna tell you this one more time and one time only. Leave her alone! Do I make myself clear?" Jay just looked at him and didn't answer and Joe wasn't having it. Then Joe grabbed the collar of his shirt.
"Do I make myself clear?," Joe asked again. Jay quickly nodded his head.
"Good." Joe let go of Jay's shirt and moved away from him satisfied. I couldn't budge at this point. I was surprised and turned on all at the same time and I wasn't gonna stop Joe from defending me and giving Jay the full message that I've been trying to tell him months ago. Joe walked towards me and put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my head.
"Come on, baby," Joe muttered. We walked away from Jay and towards the rest of the family. I can't believe he just did that to Jay! Maybe he'll finally get the message after what happened to him. I took a sleeping JoJo from Trinity and we all left the building. There were fans everywhere. There was screaming, yelling. You name it. We had to take three or four different cars because it was a lot of us. Soon we got to the docks and there was a big yacht that looked like it could fit all of us. We all got on the yacht and went inside. It was really big in the inside like it was house itself. I put JoJo into one of the rooms and turned on the tv and turned off the light. I kissed JoJo and whispered good night and cracked the door a little. I went into the main room where the whole family was and saw wine glasses and champagne. Everybody was filling up their glasses with champagne.
"What's going on guys?," I asked, curiously.
"Well we're going to toast for you having a last wonderful concert tonight," Sika said.
"Yeah. You worked so hard to be where you are now and hard enough to make the tour great. I'm extremely proud of you," my mother said. I felt great after hearing that from my mother. Even though my father wasn't here, I felt like my bond with her has grown more since I introduced my family to Joe. Don't get me wrong we always been close. I had an equal relationship with my parents where I couldn't say who my favorite parent was. My mom excepts Joe and she has nothing against him and I like that unlike my father. Right now, I feel like she's my mom and my dad. I guess my father doesn't love me enough to except that I'm happy. I guess I need to decide whether I let go of my relationship with my dad or not because if I do, I know it's gonna be very hard. I mean he shouldn't be focused on my love life. He should be focusing on at least fixing his relationship with me. The sad part about it is, is that after I officially finished the tour, he didn't even hug me or kiss me or tell me that he loves me so much and tell me how proud he was of me. To me that hurts especially if it's your own flesh and blood. I feel like money and fame changed my father in a way and it's not my dad. I feel like my attempt to get my dad back would be a failure and our relationship would just be estranged and down the drain. I love my dad so much but if our relationship isn't going to work out, it is what it is.
Everyone began toasting to me for having a great tour and that they had a blast. That's all that matters at this point. As long as everyone had a great time and enjoyed themselves, I'm good. Then I stood up from the couch with my glass full of champagne in my hand and everyone looked at me.
"Despite what happened tonight, I just wanna thank you guys for coming out and witnessing my very last I Am... World Tour concert and it means a lot to me that my future family got to see what I do everyday and what I love to do. As long as you were comfortable, had a good time and enjoyed yourselves, that's all that matters. So thank you so much for your support and taking time out of your day and seeing me perform." Everyone awed and clapped and wooed.
"Shh my baby sleep," I said and everyone laughed. We continued to talk and everything until we decided it was time for us to get some rest. We all said good night and everybody went to their rooms except me. I gathered all of the wine glasses and washed them. Then I grabbed the empty champagne bottle and threw it away and began walking to my room. As I was walking I heard a couple of voices outside. I didn't want to eavesdrop on anyone's conversation but I couldn't help it. I scooted a little closer to the wall and a open doorway to get a idea of who it was. It was Joe and my mother.
"This is the happiest I've ever seen my daughter and that's what I want for any of my kids which is her and her sister. When she separated from Jay, she was a wreck. You make her really happy and I'm glad you found her when you did."
"That's what I live for is making the people I love happy. If we didn't bump into each other last year in that parking lot, I know I wouldn't be as happy as I am right now. I really love your daughter and I plan on being with her for the rest of my life. I don't care about the money and the luxury lifestyle, I care about who she is inside and knowing who she is other than being entertainer. I never been in love with another woman like I am with Beyoncé. There is just something about her that makes me feel like...." He paused.
"I can't explain it, Mama Tina," he finished. I smiled. Love can be an unexplainable feeling.
"No need to. The way you're talking about my daughter and how much you treat her like a queen proves how much you love her. Many men nowadays think it's called being "whipped" but it's called being a man and therefore Joe you're being a man."
"I agree and again Mama Tina you don't ever have to worry about Beyoncé's heart being broken again. I love her too much to let her go and I would be stupid to make the same mistake Jay made. I have her heart and I'm gonna keep it," he told her. I began to blush and smile like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.
"Ok and I have one question for you," my mother said.
"Ask away."
"When am I gonna have some more grand babies?," she asked. Joe laughed and I held mine in successfully. I shook my head. My mom is something else and it's one of the reasons why I love her.
"I don't know I mean when I got to know Beyoncé, I remember she told me she wanted to have a baby when she's 30 years old. I want to have a baby with her sometime after we get married, but I respect that she wants to have a baby when she's ready," he said. This was one of the reasons why I loved Joe. He doesn't pressure me into anything and he respects my wishes 100%. I love how he remembers that one important detail that I told him before we dated and just got to know one another.
"I don't know if Beyoncé told you this but shortly after her and Jay got married, he tried pressuring her to have a baby with him and of course at that time she wasn't ready. I wanted more grand kids but in a timely fashion where she was ready to become a mother and I can clearly see her having a baby with you." I smiled and gently leaned my head on the wall.
"It means a lot to me hearing that from you, Mama Tina. Thank you for excepting me into the family and I will take good care of your daughter," he replied.
"No need to thank me. I should be thanking you. Thank you for making my daughter happy again, Joe." I knew if I kept listening to this conversation, I was gonna cry. It's so great to see my mother and Joe build a great bond and I love it because my mother is one of my biggest support systems and I love her even more for getting to know Joe and excepting our relationship. I went and checked on JoJo and saw that she was still sound asleep. I smiled and went to my room, took off my black costume that I performed in for the night, leaving myself completely naked and laid on the bed, pulling the covers over my body. Five minutes later, Joe came in, closing the door behind him and taking off his shirt. When he saw me, he paused.
"Are you naked?," he asked. I laughed.
"Yeah why?"
"Just curious. No bra or panties?" I shook my head with a smirk on my face.
"Yes," he whispered, causing me to giggle. He got undressed and got in bed with me. Joe pulled me in his arms with me facing away from him.
"Joe?"
"Hm?"
"I just want to thank you for what you did tonight," I told him.
"No need to thank me, babe. I was only protecting the woman I love," he said. I rubbed and kissed his tatted arm and Joe softly kissed the left side of my back.
"I love you, too and now that my tour is officially over, I can just focus on just the wedding plans."
"Do you need help with anything?," He asked.
"No, you don't have to do anything, Joe," I told him.
"Oh I'm still helping you," he retorted, causing me to giggle.
"What was the point of asking then?"
"I don't know." I laughed and rubbed his arm.
"Do we have a budget?," I asked.
"No, this is your wedding and I want you to have your dream wedding."
"No Joe, this is our wedding and just because we don't have a budget doesn't mean I'm gonna take advantage of it."
"Well you should," he said.
"Why?," I asked, curiously.
"Because your beautiful and beauty can be deadly," he finished, growling into my neck causing me to giggle. Oh how I love this man!