Dean's eyes shot wide open when he suddenly felt the movement of Giselle's hand over his bare chest. The sunlight through the window caused him to squint his eyes shut briefly before he turned his gaze to see Giselle was soundly asleep inside his arm. Her warm soft body rubbed against him comfortably as she crossed one leg over his. The corner of his lip curved up at the image of her clinging to his body.
Cute. He thought.
Dean's eyes then slanted to her left hand. A diamond ring hugged her ring finger firmly reflecting its blinding light at him. He was glad that it was still there. He had placed it on her finger after she dozed off last night at their final round of intimacy. He didn't have a chance of asking her. He had no plan of proposing to her last night either. He thought he could wait for a better time, and not after he had just killed a person.
Dean smiled involuntarily, pondering how she would feel after she noticed it. Would she be happy? His heart skipped a beat at the thought of asking her to be his wife.
Instantly, Giselle shifted in her sleep position by unwrapping her arm from him and then turned to face the other side. Dean turned his body to face her from behind. He could not help staring at her neck and then traced his eyes down to her smooth back. He remained still for several minutes, watching her back rise and fall. It was torturing him that he could only stare and not touch. And he for sure wouldn't let this torture last any further.
Dean wondered if he missed her too much or if it was because he had stayed away from her for too long. Inside his head, he couldn't help preventing the wild thoughts from rising. All that appeared in his mind was how it would feel to kiss and lick her neck and down to her spine. Her skin looked soft and vulnerable under the morning sunlight. It was driving him crazy and off the cliff at just the idea of him biting down onto those soft skin of hers. He wanted more and more. It seemed to him that what happened last night did not satisfy his desire toward Giselle at all. He wanted to conquer every inch and part of her, every day and night. She would be his meal and he was more than certain that he could live with just this same dish every single moment and second.
Dean could feel himself getting hard in the morning with just the knowledge of his beloved woman sleeping next to him. He gulped as he slowly inched himself closer to her body. He hated himself for not being able to control his needs. His hand began to move by itself to wrap over her tiny waist as his hip closed the space between him and her ass. Before he realized what he was doing, his lips were already at the crook of her neck, kissing her warm smooth skin.
Giselle gasped out loud at the same time that she turned her body to face the ceiling. Her hand flew to touch her neck where Dean's lips were. Her eyes widened in shock as she glanced up at Dean. His face was hovering over her while one of his elbows supported his weight on the bed. She breathed hard as if she was terrified at what just happened.
Dean's brows tightened slightly when he noticed her reaction. "Did I scare you?"
Giselle did not reply besides locking her gaze on his.
Dean repeated softly. "I thought we made up. What's with the mean look?" He leaned close to her face, wanting to kiss her.
She avoided his eyes and then turned her face to the other side again. Her brows tensed slightly while her grip on the blanket over her chest tightened.
"If you're not going to say anything, I will not go anywhere." He persisted.
After hearing what he said, Giselle decided to roll out of the bed.
Dean's muscular arm was quick to wrap around her body and then pulled her back into his strong embrace. "I said I will not move but it doesn't mean that I will let you go either, my dear."
She resisted by pushing him away until Dean rolled over to cage her body with his. He placed one knee between her legs while supporting his upper body with his elbows on both sides of her head.
"I won't let you go if we don't get this straighten out, Giselle." His eyes shifted from her gaze to scan her chest area. "The bruise is nearly gone..." He whispered under his breath as he stared at the small fainted spots of brown color. His gaze moved back to look at her throat to realize that the size of the bandage was reduced to a much smaller one. Without realizing it, his finger moved to trace the area near it.
"Are you disappointed that I am not actually dying?" Her voice came out rough and cold, making his finger freeze.
Dean's eyes darted toward her icy gaze before he shook his head slightly. "No. Why would you say something like that?"
Giselle sucked in a deep breath as if she was trying to gather her leftover strength. "You're only here because you needed someone to relieve your sexual needs, right? Go ahead... Now that I am back to normal, just use me like how you always wanted. Because when I was dying... you were nowhere to be seen... I..." Tears overwhelmed her eyes in just a split second. The rest of her courage started to vanish. She was not sure why she could not bare to speak another word even when she wanted to. "I fucking hate you..." She blinked her tears away just when they were about to escape. Shortly, she lifted her hands to push against his hard chest weakly.
Dean realized the meaning behind her words before he lowered his face to her again. Slowly, he planted a tender kiss on her cheek. He stayed quiet for a few seconds, hoping she could calm down. Then he replied in an apologetic tone. "I was foolish. I thought that was what you needed... I thought you wished to be alone after that day. And, I was afraid to show up in front of you because I did not want to put you in distress." He leaned back up to look her in the eyes. "Giselle, all I ever wanted was for you to recover well. Even if it was meant to kill me inside out from not being able to be with you, I would do it. I'm sorry for what I did and said to you..."
Giselle's sharp gaze challenged his, waiting for him to continue speaking.
"I did not know that my action would make you feel this way..." He whispered. "And, I swear that everything I did last night was out of love... I never used you... And, will never... Don't say something like that again. You know that you are the only person I have left. I don't want you to hate me, Giselle. I am seriously a fool... I don't know what I can do to fix everything between us. I don't know what to do."
Giselle gulped as she studied his eyes closely. She knew he was telling her the truth by just a glance at it. Or was it a lie again? She couldn't tell anymore of what she sees. Everything blurred between the truth and the lies. Giselle was not sure if she had any faith left in his words. "Then you should let me see my family... I want to visit them." She said sharply.
Dean nodded. "Of course, we can pay them a visit once you're-"
"I want to go today." She cuts him off.
Dean paused a few seconds before agreeing to her words. "We can do that." He removed strains of hair that stuck to her cheek as he leaned close to give another peck on her cheek. Then he asked, "Is there anything else you want?"
Giselle took a couple of seconds to think until she came to her final decision. "I want your explanation." She raised her hand instantly to show Dean the ring on her finger.
Dean seized her small hand to move it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand softly and tenderly before he replied, "Marry me, Giselle. I have nothing else to explain myself besides wanting you with me and all to myself."
She pulled her hand back out of his grip and then responded coldly, "If marrying you meant for me to stop doing my job... and living my normal life and rather just to be your wife in your bed, then I am afraid I cannot."
He glanced between her dark pupils, hoping to find a clue to her emotions so that he could understand her better. But what he earned in return was a disappointment. There was nothing in her eyes besides that empty coldness. Dean's lips straightened hopelessly after hearing her response.
Giselle's expression displayed seriousness. He felt conflicted for a minute after knowing that she was not joking with her answer to his proposal.
"I've told you, didn't I?" She continued speaking. "I went against my family to just do what I love... I hate being the little good girl that everyone wanted me to be. And, you are wrong to think that I would be one of them, Dean. I don't like that I am just sitting here in this room all day and every day just to be fed and taken care of just so I can be healthy enough for you to fuck me like last night. I just feel like I'm being trapped."
"That was never my intention, Giselle. I have no plan of locking you up and forcing you to be just a housewife."
"But, that's what you did to me for the past week. What will happen if I agree to marry you? I don't want to be in here, talking to the wall and the useless books that you gave me. I don't want the stupid flowers if it was meant for me to not see the outside world. What is this am I even living in? It's like a prison!"
"You were sick. You know that you fell in danger because of me. I don't want to leave you to be in a place with no security and out of my sight."
Suddenly, she pushed Dean off of her again. This time Dean allowed himself to fall aside, giving her a chance to get out of his arms. He watched without a blink as she sat up on the bed.
Giselle pulled the blanket to cover her chest as she murmured. "I know what I am getting myself into since the first day, Dean. My father has always warned me about you. And even when I did find out that you were a part of the mafia organization or whatever you are doing, I still wouldn't care about your background... That was because I did have great feelings for you. I appreciated that you'd saved my life... but I've lost my family along the way... I just don't know whether to feel grateful for you saving me or grieving for my own family that has passed away due to my foolish choice. I thought that I could save my father... it was a false hope. I was stupid to believe that you would be going to forgive him." She chuckled as tears flooded her eyes. "I believed you until the last minute... until I know that you even lied to me about my father's death."
Dean's lips pursed as he shifted to sit straight on the bed. He moved closer to her as guilt washed up inside his throat. "You knew..."
"Of course!" She exclaimed.
"I didn't tell you the truth because I was scared that it'll worsen your condition."
"If you cared about my health condition that much, then you wouldn't have left me for an entire week, Dean."
Dean found himself speechless as he lowered his gaze to her hands. He wanted to touch them but was afraid to. The least he wanted to witness at this moment was to see her yanking her hands away from his grasp. Dean tightened one grip over the blanket briefly before he responded, "It was not me who killed your father... But, I did kill the man who took your father's life."
"If you're talking about Kevinskey again-"
"I killed that man last night. He had nothing to do with Kevinskey..."
Shocks displayed in Giselle's eyes as she darted her gaze at Dean. "What-"
Dean cuts her off, hoping to tell her everything before a misunderstanding could arise. "Your father came to me before he passed. Without him, I wouldn't have found where you were. I thought you were dead this whole time... I..." Dean hesitated to inform her about the ritual that he tried to go through after he lost his mind from losing her. He decided to not talk about it as he carried on his story. "I had no idea that you were getting treated at the hospital. I tried to search everywhere for you. Whatever it is, those are irrelevant. But, your father came to tell me about you. He asked me to protect you... and marry you..."
"And, you did because he asked you to?"
"No, I did not. I had already done everything that he asked of me that day. I risked everything to save you, and I did propose to you a long time ago too... Giselle-"
"Tell me more about my father." She said as if she did not wish to hear more about their past relationship.
Dean gulped as he stared at her sharp gaze. "He told me that he wouldn't last past that night. He entrusted you into my hands... because he believed that I have enough power to protect you from all of those mobsters."
"Dean, that doesn't make any sense. Why would my father wants me to wed you even knowing that those mobsters will come after me? He had always wanted me to stay out of this. He was nothing like you are telling me. He had always been against this relationship between us. If you're trying to lie to me again, you can drop it. I am tired of hearing things that are not true."
He nodded slightly. "I know... but... he was once just like me..."
"What are you trying to say?" Her voice shook.
"He was a member of the other mob organization. I cannot tell you which. So, even if they took your father's life... they're most likely to come after you. Your father was a traitor to the group. I don't know the entire story about your father's relation to them. All I know is that... He was worried about you, Giselle. And even without him asking, I would still protect you from every danger out there. Now, do you understand why I did what I did?" He brushed her cheek with one hand. "I know it's a lot to accept. But trust me... everything I said is the truth. If you don't believe me, I have a clip of your father coming to see me that night. I could only get rid of the man that killed him... I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything more for you. I would burn down that organization if it is within my power. But we have our laws. If I do that, it will only cause more conflicts and tensions... and the least I want is for them to actually come and take you away from me. You can call me pathetic or selfish... but I am sorry that I don't have the ability to get rid of the group that your father was a part of. I am not putting your life along with my men's life to do something that is not going to benefit any of us."
She shook her head in disbelief as a drop of tear escaped the corner of her eyes. "My father would never do that... You're lying again, Dean. My father worked for the government. He has nothing to do with whatever you've just told me. He was never a part of any of this. I've grown up with him. He never hurts any of us. You're lying..." She continued to shed her tears while clutching onto the blanket like her life depended on it.
Dean hurried to pull her into his strong arms the second he noticed that her body began to shake. His breath grew heavier as she sobbed against his chest uncontrollably. Dean was not sure what to do to stop her from crying. One part of him felt terrified at how trembling her body felt. He hoped she wouldn't go into shock again. He was scared that she would pass out from everything that he told her. He hated himself for making her become like this. This was the reason why he never wanted to bring any of these up. He knew that it would be too much for her to handle. Dean wished he could punch a wall or any hard surface to just release his anger towards himself. But all that he could do at the moment was to soften his hands. He puts little to no strength in them as he patted her back gently and delicately as if she was made out of glass.
"Cry everything out now, Giselle. It'll make you feel better after..." Dean said, recalling the childhood days when he used to cry himself to sleep with nobody around. He was used to the pain whether it was emotional or physically. They were just something that you just had to grow tolerant to. And, Dean experienced it too much at a young age to the point that he knew what would cope with the unbearable pain in his heart. He cried when he first learned to live without his mother. And over time those emotions began to feel numb until there were no tears left in his eyes. It was the same thing when he first learned to fight and take down a man that was twice his size. It was overwhelming and challenging to win the impossible battle. But he had to get through it if it was meant for him to survive and just to see another day of a sunrise.
Dean brushed the trembling back lightly, hoping it would help comfort her. He had never done it to anyone else but he knew that this type of gesture was what every person seeks when they have a deep invisible wound. It was what he craved when he first departed from his mother. It was the only thing that he wanted most yet no amount of money could afford it.
Giselle cried louder while making weak punches against his chest. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Her voice came out hoarsely between each breathless breath. "I am so angry... at him and you... I hate this. I hate that I can't even hear him talk in person... I am so angry that he doesn't give me a chance to question anything before he left me all alone... He could've left me a note or voice recording or video or anything... but he chose to leave with no trace behind... I don't even have a house... I lost everything. I have nothing left..."
Dean tightened his grip around her slightly regardless of how many times she had tried to push and punch him.
"Why are you still holding me even when I hurt you?" She asked while sobbing loudly. "You should've let me die that night... You shouldn't have stopped me... Dean..."
He stayed quiet while keeping his grip firm around her body.
After several minutes, her voice came out lowly as if she had grown exhausted. "I'm sorry... I love you..." She coughed briefly. "I miss you so much... Please don't leave me again... I am going crazy... I was losing my sanity when you weren't here... I was scared to be alone... I am scared of not seeing you... Please don't ever just disappear on me like my father. What will I do if I lose you too? I can't... I can't take it anymore if I lose another person. I feel like..." She hyperventilated. "I feel like I can't breathe..." She choked out loud. Dean broke the hug and then touched her face lightly to wipe her tears.
"Take a deep and slow breath. I am here, now. I won't leave you again. Not anymore. Look at me, Giselle," He murmured while supporting her body with one arm. When she did look up into his eyes, he exhaled in relief. "Deep breath. And, don't think about anything else." He brushed his thumb gently against her soft skin.
She sobbed quietly while inhaling slowly as Dean instructed. In almost a whispered tone, she said, "Please don't ever do this to me again... I am trying so hard to hold myself together. But I just can't pretend like everything is okay. Every moment that I am left here by myself... I kept thinking of negative things... I kept having nightmares every night...but you weren't here. Nobody I know shows up. I wanted to die, but your people keep stopping me... If you're going to leave me like this again, you might as well kill me. I don't want to be trapped... I don't want to marry you if this is what I have to live with, Dean... I'm not strong enough for you..."
Dean leaned his nose towards her before he closed his eyes. As if the world around him had vanished, he breathed her in. All that existed in his mind was Giselle. He couldn't afford to think about anything else at this very moment. The only thing he wanted most was to protect this fragile glass of a human being across his eyes. He was not sure how he got here. Everything was just perfectly fine. But now the only flower he cherished the most in his life was withering inside his hands. "It's okay. I will wait. I will wait until you're ready." He murmured as he kissed her soft temple region. "It's going to be alright. I won't force you. You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I won't force you into anything that you don't like."