Chapter Twenty-Two
pov. kaiyo
✦
I WANTED to kill someone.
"Yo, Zavier!" Whoever was on the door's opposite side pounded relentlessly against the wood. "Open up!"
Zavier's eyes flashed between the door and mine. A part of me was thankful for this distraction, as it definitely sprang some common sense and realization into me. Another part of me was pissed that it was the reason the boy on top of me had come to a complete stop before anything really started.
He pushed himself off of me and into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Both hands reached up to his face as he tiredly rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"What the fuck do you want?" He snapped.
I used this opportunity, to climb off of his bed, wandering over to my side of the room and tugging on my t-shirt. I felt disgusting, knowing how close I'd come to turning my back on my own fucking morals. But this is what I wanted, right?
Why else would I have invited Taechan over?
To piss him off, certainly. But wasn't there a hidden motive, as well?
I didn't want to think about it, so instead I grabbed a towel from the hook on the door and locked myself in the bathroom.
Zavier didn't say anything, just eyeing me as I closed the door behind me and then got up to answer whoever was at the door.
The last thing I heard before turning on the shower to full blast was a smack, an "ow", and a "what the fuck now, Devon?"
The water burned my skin, but I didn't hate it. I deserved this, I needed something to remind myself who I was. Whether that was a slap on the wrist or a scorching hot shower that made my limbs ache.
I was Kaiyo, for fucks sake! And Kaiyo doesn't let men shove her out of her own room and then nearly hate-fuck them as some sort of kind gesture after. Kaiyo doesn't follow rules she doesn't implement herself and she sure as hell doesn't work to appeal to and tease Zavier of all people.
I kept thinking about this until my body had adjusted to the heat and it was time to get out. By the time I had finished skincare and tying up my hair, the room was empty -- Zavier was completely missing. I used his absence as a chance to fall asleep before he returned and avoid any conversation.
I was the first to wake up the following day, and Zavier's form was still tucked away under his blankets. I needed to get out before he awoke, and it was the perfect time for a morning workout. Said no one ever, but working out was a distraction and an excuse to listen to music endlessly.
I didn't know what time the school's gym actually opened, but even if it was closed the campus was still large enough to job around.
"Kaiyo?" Freezing at the door, I removed an earbud from one ear and turned to face Zavier who was now pushing himself up onto his elbows to look at me. "It's 6 AM."
"I know."
"Where are you going?"
I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. What gave him the right to even know? What makes him think he can even ask? Scoffing, I shook my head and slammed the door behind me as Lana sang in my ear.
I found the gym pretty easily since it's the only building that had a few people actually coming and going... also dressed in workout attire. I wanted to run my heart out like people do in movies, just relinquish all my pent up emotions on the treadmill, but I also hate running so I don't know where that idea stemmed from.
Instead I did a leg workout until the near inability to stand replaced the thoughts of last night.
Just as I was about to finish wrap up the yoga mat I was stretching on and leave, I heard a voice calling me from only a few feet away. Looking up and removing an earbud, I saw it was Mercel.
"Hey!" She said cheerfully, giving me a smile. "I didn't know you worked out."
"I don't often," I said, pushing myself up into a standing position. "You just get here?"
"Nah, I was just in one of the private rooms earlier," She shifted her weight onto one leg, looking away before glancing back at me. Noticing I wasn't going to reply, she quickly moved onto taking over the conversation. "I was going to meet Kera and Devon for breakfast, want to join?"
I was going to say no, but having essentially no friends besides Taechan --who was only friends with benefits -- was starting to drain me. Not that I ever really had many friends, if any at all, but that was before I was locked in a private school. Here there isn't much else to do but study, go to class, study more, and wander the halls. It was getting boring.
"Sure," I replied, surprising myself.
Breakfast was fine. I didn't say much, but it was helpful that Kera and Mercel were the talkers of the group while Devon and I could mostly listen and occasionally add something to the conversation. Mercel and I agreed to workout together, as she's been wanting a workout partner and Kera doesn't go to the gym. I wasn't thrilled to be waking up early more days than not, but Mercel actually was growing on me and it was a chance to avoid Zavier.
We parted ways in the hallway as she left to go to the girls dorm and Devon left to the library. I was feeling sticky and my legs still felt like goo, so I was in a rush to take another shower.
Looking up, I did a quick prayer to no one in particular before pushing open the dorm door. Please higher powers let Zavier be missing.
Apparently the higher powers did not give a single fuck about my message, as Zavier was sitting at his desk scribbling away at some notes. Pausing, I decided to enter the room anyway and simply pretend he wasn't even there. Which was proven difficult as the first thing he did when I set my phone down was spin around in his chair and look directly at me.
"Kaiyo," He began, toying with the rings on fingers. "We need to talk."
Narrowing my eyes, I shook my head. "We don't, actually. You just want to."
"Sit down."
I was going to sit regardless because I swayed every time I was standing, but just because he said that I decided to stand. "Just hurry up and talk so I can pretend to listen and take my shower."
Zavier sighed, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms and opening up his legs wider. Typical man stance. "Last night-."
"Nothing happened last night."
"Stop acting like a brat and let me finish," He snapped, anger piling into his expression. Typical man emotion. "I need to know what we are."
I couldn't help but to dryly laugh. "What we are?"
"Yes," He repeated sternly. Typical man question.
"We," I said, enunciating the 'we'. "Aren't anything. I was just horny or something because you interrupted me and Taechan. I'm not attracted to you, Zavier, and I'm never going to be. You disgust me still and last night didn't change anything. You don't mean anything to me."
It was a pile of rude word vomit, but I was desperate to lie to him because maybe vocalizing it would help delude myself.
Zavier just nodded his head, understandingly. And not saying anything, he turned back around in his chair, picked up his pencil, and continued to study. Scoffing, I picked up my phone again and headed for the bathroom.
Just as I was about to shut the door, I heard the pencil break.
A/N
Only took 6 months to write
Oops ;)
Much love - Kujiis