He's gone Maverick.
"Goose! Come on, come on-"
Goose's body is heavy, even in the water, as Maverick pulls him on top of him, cradling his head. He doesn't look at the blood over the side of his RIO's face.
He's dead.
"No-" He tries to ignore his thoughts, speaking to him in a monotone, expressionless voice. "Goose, please.."
It's the Saturday they were training. Carole and Bradley are on the shore, expecting them to come back triumphant. No. This has to be a dream. This can't be real!
"Come on-" Maverick's voice is choked with tears, pressing his face into Goose's hair.
There's nothing but the smell of salt and blood in his nose, and the cold breeze rushing over the surface of the water dries his hair too fast.
What just happened?! How did they end up here?! Not ten minutes ago they were behind Iceman and Slider closing in on Jester, then there was a jetstream that pushed them into a flatspin... and then everything went wrong. The last thing he could remember was yelling "eject, eject!" as they deemed the flatspin unrecoverable. Then they hit the water and he got over to Goose but he wasn't moving and there was blood over his face and-
A shiver goes through Maverick, starting at the base of his neck, pushing out a sob. "Don't- don't go.."
As soon as Iceman and Slider's jet stops, they open the canopy and Ice almost jumps out.
"Ice! Hold on-" Slider calls, following him out.
"No, Slider!" his voice is hoarser than usual, having been almost shouting down the dead radio to Maverick after he saw them getting pushed into a spin. "We gotta find them!"
"I know, I know, just, let me come with you,"
Ice glares at him, nothing else mattering to him apart from the fact that Maverick and Goose are in that ocean, somewhere. "Hurry up then,"
Fifteen minutes of tense words and beyond stressful radar and radio checking, they were finally sending out a rescue helicopter to where they'd zoned in on Maverick and Goose. Slider was trying to not let the stress of it all get to him, he was having to be a wall of stability for Ice, who was almost losing his mind with anxiety, all his cool cover lost entirely.
"Hey, listen,"
Ice keeps pacing across the room they're in.
"Ice," Slider says again.
"What?" his voice is cold as he whips his head round.
"They're gonna be okay,"
"You don't know that,"
He sighs. "You know Maverick,"
"I know him well enough to be able to feel like this when he gets pushed into a flatspin and then the radio gets disconnected thirty seconds later!"
"I know nothing I can say will calm you down-"
"I don't have to calm down,"
"...But-" he tries again.
"Stop making excuses! I don't know what they're doing out there, or if they're even alive!"
"Ice, seriously, Goose and Maverick are going to be fine," Slider says, his patience with his pilot running low.
"I don't need you to try and calm me down right now," Ice mutters, glaring at Slider and leaving the room, leaving Slider standing in the middle of it.
Maverick's legs were numb, his cheeks ached with dried tears and the cold wind, that had picked up more in the last ten minutes; a storm was brewing. But he didn't dare let go of Goose. His skin was cold, but Maverick couldn't cry out any more tears. They'd moved so Maverick was shielding Goose from the wind, he wasn't able to bring himself to hide behind him.
There's a loud noise above him, he doesn't really care what it is.
"Sir?"
Maverick jerks his head up as a medic puts a hand on his shoulder.
They look to another, who inches their hand to press their fingers on Goose's neck. They shake their head.
"Sir I'm sorry but you have to let go of him,"
Maverick stares blankly at the medic, a frown beginning on his face.
"Sir, please we need to get you on the helicopter," He can hardly make out what they were saying, the blades of the helicopter above them making the wind whip ferociously around them.
Then the medics try to detach Maverick's arms from around Goose, and only then does he realise what they want him to do.
"No-" his voice is hoarse. "No don't take him, please no!"
The sorrys from the medics don't sink in.
"Please-" Tears start to fall down his cheeks as they drag Goose away from him.
He's gone.
The next thing Maverick is aware of is sitting on a side bench, a medic checking over him for any injuries. The sudden stop in wind makes his eyes water and his exposed skin ache.
"Sir? We think you have twisted your wrist, so we'll bandage it when we get to the carrier's sickbay, alright?" The medic says.
He must've nodded, because they leave him.
His head is empty, and his heart feels like it's stopped.
"Nick I'm sorry..." he whispers, sniffing.
The warmth of the helicopter and the white noise of it's rotors is overwhelming, making the room small and stuffy. But Maverick doesn't do anything. He just can't. He just sits there and stares at the handle of the door in front of him.
If the storm gets to the carrier he's going to feel seasick.
Can't be sicker than what I am right now.
He lets his mind wonder for a while, but it keeps returning to the spinning. The white noise, the controls failing, the sky and sea mixing into one, Iceman's voice in his ears-
Ice.
He doesn't know. How could he know? What's he feeling? What's he doing?
Iceman is slumped against one of the staircases leading to the deck, unsuccessfully spinning a pen across his fingers, dropping it every few seconds.
Please, please let them both be okay. Please.
The pen falls to the floor, rolling for a few seconds as the boat sways, and then back. Ice catches it with the tip of his boot, staring at it.
But the sound of a helicopter's rotors makes him raise his head, pick up the pen and almost start running up the stairs.
He almost runs into Slider, who emerges from the room he was in earlier.
"I heard it, I'm coming," he says, following Ice to the deck.
But when they get there, Ice's heart drops to his feet.
A stretcher, a sheet over it.
"What-" He lets out a breath and just as quickly sucks one in again. "What?!"
No, no no no this can't be happening who is that? Is that another helicopter? Was there someone else out there? That can't be Maverick that can't be Goose what happened?!
Ice glances at Slider next to him, his face is ashen with shock.
"No-"
Something stops him from running at the helicopter.
"Ice.." Slider says. "Hold on,"
"No- no-" His breath is coming fast, way too fast. "Mav-"
Slider puts his arms around Ice's shoulders, stopping him from moving, turning them around so Ice can't see the helicopter, preparing himself for the worst.
"S-Slider let go.." His voice wavers.
He shakes his head as he watches another two medics come out of the helicopter, leading someone in flightgear, their shoulders slumped and their black haired head lowered.
Ice tries to turn around, but Slider's arms are like a vice. "Slider-" he gets out.
Slider can hear the tears in his cracking voice. "Ice," he says, his voice low. "Ice Maverick's there, he's alright,"
The blond pilot lets out a breath, relief filling him for all of three seconds. Until he remembers the stretcher.
Goose?! That was Goose?!
The wind around them gets ten degrees colder as he realises that it was Goose's body on the stretcher with the sheet over it.
Goose, Mother Goose as Ice had made up for him, Goose who's family is waiting for them on the shore, Goose who's son Iceman and Maverick had been babysitting three days ago, and then they were going to spend the day with tomorrow.
Ice feels like he can't breathe, shivering violently, Slider's arms still around him. "Goose?"
Slider slowly exhales, feeling as empty as Ice. "Yeah-"
"Oh god," Ice moves his hand up to cover his mouth, his worst fears confirmed.
Nobody else on deck notices the steel-hearted pilot and his RIO being each others lifeline as the death of one of their closest friends sinks in.
~🍁~
Maverick shuts his eyes, trying to ignore the carrier rocking from side to side; the storm did hit it, and it's a bad storm. It's not the worst one he's encountered, but on every unexpected sway he tenses and clenches his jaw, keeping his eyes closed.
He feels numb and sick and nothing else.
He's as comfortable as he could get on a night like this, in a t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms, leaning on the pillows, hugging his knees to his chest.
It's warm and muffled in the room, the storm sounds so far away. But he feels so cold, the feeling of the sea around him from his chest down, the decreasing temperature of Goose's skin under his hands.
No one has been to see him. Not even Iceman. That hurts.
He opens his eyes, the nothingy dark of his eyelids disquieting.
Why hasn't Ice come to see me? He thinks helplessly. Have I done something so wrong that he doesn't want to see me? I've effectively killed his best friend, and compared to what Goose was, I'm nothing to him.
The thoughts hurt, even though they're true. That makes them hurt more.
He sniffs, then the carrier jolts again, and the sick feeling comes and goes in unsettling waves.
Did he tell Ice that he gets seasick?
Not that that would sway him coming to see him.
Maverick sighs, breathing in the disinfectant of the bed and it's pillows and covers. His right wrist hurts too, the nurse bandaged it when he came into the sickbay. He doesn't feel like eating, so the tray of food a nurse gave him earlier has been left. There's nothing to do, apart from lay on the bed and try not to feel seasick.
A little while later, hours, or minutes, he doesn't know, Maverick sits up and leans over to take a sip of the glass of water on the bedside table. It's cold.
The door opens.
Maverick ignores it, it's probably a nurse. He sits back on the pillows, still holding his knees up, it hurts less.
The footsteps of whoever it is come towards his bed. He doesn't care who it is, he just wants to be alone. Or maybe not. He doesn't know.
They reach his bed and sigh softly, almost empathetically.
Maverick turns his head to look at them.
And it's Ice.
He looks like he's been crying, his eyes are reddened.
"Hey," he says as he sits next to him on the other side of the bed.
Maverick doesn't reply, he's still in shock, his lips slightly parted. He's here? Why?
"Pete..."
And that's it. The final touch. His name, spoken so tenderly by someone he'd be embarrassed by to see him like this last month.
Maverick crumbles, swallowing back tears until he reaches Ice's chest.
Then he breaks, shuddering and sobbing, releasing the tears he didn't know he had left.
"Shhh..." Ice murmurs, not in the way to get him to be quiet, but in the way that would soothe him. "I know it hurts,"
Goose is gone. Goose is gone because of you.
Maverick inhales, his breath shaking. "I'm sorry- I-Ice, I didn't mean to... I-"
"Maverick, no," he replies, "Don't. Don't blame yourself for this,"
"But- it's my fault,"
"It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault, it was an accident, okay?"
"Ice I just- I just killed Goose, how could that be anyone's fault but mine?"
"Pete, you did not kill Goose," Ice's voice is concerned. "Don't think that,"
He sniffs again, putting his head back on Ice's shoulder. "... I get it if you don't want to be with me anymore. I wouldn't wanna be with me,"
Ice kisses Maverick's head in protest. "I always want to be with you... and I think you need someone now more than ever,"
Maverick couldn't argue with that. He was exhausted, too much had happened in the span of twenty four hours. "Please stay here Tom,"
"I'm not leaving my wingman on a night like this,"
And Maverick finally feels warm.
// AN:
The second part; Cold Winter Days is on my profile!! It continues from here over there ^^