Author's Note: Enjoy ROTS. *wicked grin*
~ Amina Gila
It's been five months. Five months since he was last here on Coruscant, able to see the rest of his family in person. He was beginning to wonder if he would come back, until the war was over which still seemed to have no end in sight. He can't believe that he's really here again.
As soon as the initial crowd there to greet Palpatine starts to disperse, Anakin spots a familiar figure pushing her way towards him. "Anakin!" Ahsoka squeals, all but throwing herself into his arms.
Force, she's grown so much. Yes, he saw it on their holocalls, but seeing it in person is different.
"You're tall," Anakin observes, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close. He's missed her so much. It's good to be back, more than he could say, even if he doesn't know for how long.
Ahsoka shifts to look up at him, a smirk on her face. "Soon, I'll be taller than you."
"No, you won't be," Anakin insists, "The top of your montrals don't count."
"It absolutely counts," Ahsoka retaliates, "No need to be scared."
"I am not scared."
"Uh-huh! You are. Because then I won't be little to you anymore."
"You'll always be little to me," he shoots back, "Even if you are taller."
"I'm almost an adult!"
"You're only seventeen."
"Almost an adult. See?" she repeats stubbornly, grinning.
"I missed you," Anakin murmurs. So much. He didn't even realize how much until this moment.
"I missed you too... Dad."
A rush of adoration runs through him, and he reaches up, rubbing a hand along her lekku, in the way that she hates when anyone but him touches it.
"Padme's waiting to see you," Ahsoka says when they pull apart, "You might want to go while you still can. And she has a surprise."
Anakin raises an eyebrow. "A surprise?" What's that supposed to mean?
"You'll see," Ahsoka says, grinning devilishly. She's radiating a strange sense of excitement and nervousness that he thought had to do with the fact that he was back, but suddenly he thinks it might have to do with whatever this 'surprise' is, too. What is going on?
Clearly, she has no intention of spilling, though, so Anakin doesn't press, and instead makes his way further into the Senate building. He runs right into Lux before he gets much farther down the hall.
"Master Skywalker," the boy greets, brightening, "I was wondering when you would come back."
"It's good to see you, Lux," Anakin replies, nodding.
"So, Dooku's really dead?" Lux asks.
"He is," Anakin confirms.
"I have to say, I'm relieved he was brought to justice," Lux replies, "After what he did to my mother." It wasn't justice that Anakin killed him in cold blood when he was defenseless, but he doesn't say that. He doesn't want to think about it right now. Palpatine had given him a direct order, and he could hardly disobey it, especially not when he knows how dangerous it would be if Dooku escaped again.
Anakin nods, giving Lux a small smile. "And hopefully the war will be over soon." He'd already heard Palpatine saying it wouldn't happen until Grievous is captured, so he can only hope that it won't take long for that to happen, too. Now, time to go find Padme. And see what this surprise is.
***
It's already dark out by the time Anakin finally is able to get away from the Temple and come over to Padme's apartment. Ahsoka is practically bursting with excitement. The child is going to be born soon, and she's going to be an older sister. It will raise so many problems, yes, but Anakin will finally get the chance he wanted at having a family outside the Order. She can't believe it.
She really wants to talk to Lux about it, but obviously she can't, though he's really been wondering as of late what she's so hyped about.
"He's been moving a lot," Padme comments, as the three of them sit on the couch together.
"He?" Anakin echoes. "What make you think it's a boy?"
"My motherly intuition," she insists.
He reaches over, resting a hand on her stomach, and chuckles quietly. "No, with a kick that strong, it's got to be a girl."
"Maybe it's both," Ahsoka chirps.
"Both?!" Padme and Anakin exclaim in perfect unison.
She shrugs, grinning. "Never know."
"I don't think we're ready for twins yet," Padme worries.
"Or maybe it will be neither."
"Excuse me?"
"A three eyed human-togruta." The excitement is definitely getting to her head, because she's acting ridiculous. The incredulous looks on Anakin and Padme's faces made it worth it.
"Then we'll name... it Ahsoka," Anakin replies flatly.
"Two Ahsokas? You don't think that's a bit much?" she retorts.
"I was actually thinking about names," Padme declares, "For whether it's a boy or girl."
"And she wouldn't tell me any ideas until you got back," Ahsoka huffs.
"It's only fair," Padme insists.
"If it's a boy, you should name him Yoda," Ahsoka declares.
"What?!"
***
Something is wrong. Ahsoka knows it the moment she slips out of her bedroom the next morning. Instead of the light and happy atmosphere form the night before, the air itself seems almost... heavy. Padme is acting as though everything is normal, but Anakin...
He's sitting on the couch, staring almost vacantly ahead of himself, practically motionless. She frowns, worry spiking. What happened? What could have changed overnight?
"Anakin?" Ahsoka asks cautiously, approaching him. Beyond that, she can feel his muted storm of emotions in the Force, equal parts fear and desperation. He looks up as she approaches, snapping out of whatever haze he was in.
"What's wrong?" she asks, frowning, as she settles next to him.
"I..." he hesitates for a long moment.
She reaches over, touching his arm. "What happened?" The sudden change in atmosphere is confusing. Everyone was so excited yesterday, so what changed?
"I had a... vision," Anakin says finally, quietly.
She frowns. That's... not unusual for him, but she's never seen him so shaken about it. "About what?"
He's quiet for a long moment, to the point she's almost wondering if he's going to answer, before he does. "Padme. She..." he trails off.
"What?" she promptly, worried. She knows she once had a vision of Padme dying, and that had nearly happened. Ahsoka has barely been able to stop it in time.
"In childbirth, she –" Anakin cuts himself off, looking away.
Ahsoka inhales sharply.
No.
No wonder Anakin is so shaken up by it. She would be to, was when she had vision so long ago. Visions are rare among the Jedi, but she knows Anakin has often had them in the past, even if he rarely mentions it.
She isn't going to try and uselessly reassure him that it was nothing more than a dream. He would know if it was a vision or not. She knows enough about visions to know how to tell the difference between that and a regular nightmare. The thought itself scares her, but at the same time, it seems too unreal. "We could have her go to the medbay to get checked up," Ahsoka offers, "If you think it's this serious. I know she's under a lot of stress, but otherwise, she's okay. There's no reason for something to go wrong."
"We don't know that," Anakin points out, numbly. "It's – common, you know. Where I grew up."
Ah. In truth, Ahsoka doesn't know how that works. She was raised with the Jedi, lacking all knowledge of that side of life. Her... mother could die. There is a high chance of it, if Anakin is seeing it. Briefly, Ahsoka wonders if she'll see something, too. If she does, then they can be assured it's a very legitimate, pressing concern, and they'll need to act immediately. The only reason Ahsoka had saved Padme before was because she didn't wait, but this is different. It's a natural part of life, unlike before.
So, quite frankly, Ahsoka has absolutely no idea what to do.
"Will you eat?" she asks, and he mutely shakes his head. She didn't think so. That would be foolish anyway when he's so upset. "Do what I did, then," Ahsoka offers, squeezing his shoulder. Somehow, she doubts this will work, either, but it's worth a try. It must be, because Padme cannot die. And what about the child or children? Ahsoka doesn't dare think about that. It would be bad enough for one to die, so why both? Or... all two or three? "Talk to Master Yoda. He might have something to offer. He helped me with my visions, you know."
Anakin nods. "I was going to," he concedes, "But I don't know what he will say about it. These dreams are different than yours. They're not of violence, they're of death. One is easier to prevent than the other. Precognitions are tricky."
"It's worth a try."
Anakin looks up at her, eyes conflicted. "Anything," he promises, and Ahsoka knows he means it. She only hopes they'll find the answers they need before too late.
***
Lux would very much like to know what Ahsoka has been so excited about recently. He thinks it's about more than Anakin's return, but she doesn't seem to have any intention of spilling, so he'll have to be patient.
He has other more crucial things to focus on right now, anyway. Namely, the very important private meeting he's attending with Padme, Bail, Mothma, and others. "Now that he has control of the Jedi Council, the Chancellor has appointed Governors to oversee all star systems in the Republic," Bail begins.
Lux really doesn't like this. Everything goes on the Republic – which he can see far clearer now that he's part of it – is reminding him more and more of all the things his mother used to say about it. Palpatine isn't a Sith like Dooku, but Lux has questions if the Chancellor is really much better.
"When did this happen?" one of the others asks.
"The decree was posted this morning."
"Do you think he will dismantle the Senate?" Padme inquires gravely. The prospect is... alarming, to say the least.
"Why bother?" Mothma asks, "As a practical matter, the Senate no longer exists."
"I don't like the path the Republic is going on," Lux admits, "I can see now, why my mother wanted to start over." Anywhere other than private, he knows there would be Senators screaming about how he must be secretly loyal to the Separatists, but he trusts everyone here enough to know what they talk about won't leave this room.
"I did understand why," Padme replies, "But I don't want to believe the Republic is past saving." Some of the others look a little uncomfortable, but they don't object.
"We can't let a thousand years of democracy disappear without a fight," Bail asserts.
"I agree," Lux replies firmly, only noticing then that everyone else is looking at each other warily.
"What are you suggesting?" one of them asks.
"I apologize," Bail says, "I didn't mean to sound like a Separatist."
"I think one of the biggest problems the Republic has is that anyone who criticizes it with the hope of change for the better is labeled as a Separatist now," Lux interjects. And it's frustrating him to no end. He knows the Separatists were in the wrong in the war, but he doesn't know that their ideas and ideals themselves were wrong.
"I agree," Mothma adds, "We are not Separatists trying to leave the Republic. We are loyalists, trying to preserve democracy in the Republic."
"It has become increasingly clear to many of us that the Chancellor has become an enemy of democracy," Bail declares.
"I don't mean to sound like a Separatist either," Lux interjects, "But when I was part of the Confederacy, even Dooku made more a pretense at having a democracy than this." The others exchange uneasy glances, though he can't say if it's because of what he said or because they agree. In politics it is impossible to be blunt. His mother was better at this than him. He wishes she'd been there to help him prepare, to guide him through this role.
"I can't believe it has come to this! Chancellor Palpatine is one of my oldest advisors. He served as my ambassador when I was Queen," Padme exclaims.
"The Chancellor has played the Senators well. They know where the power lies, and they will do whatever it takes to share in it. Palpatine has become a dictator, and we have helped him to do it," Mothma replies.
Lux wishes he didn't have to agree. For a moment, he almost wishes there had been a way out of this mess without joining the Republic or the Separatists, but staying neutral wasn't possible. Besides, being part of the Republic has helped on Onderon, so he doesn't entirely regret it. On a more personal level, it also let him get to know Ahsoka and Padme, so...
"We can't sit around debating any longer. We have decided to do what we can to stop it," Bail begins, heatedly, "Senator Mon Mothma and I are putting together an organization –"
"Say no more," Padme abruptly cuts him off, "Senator Organa, I understand. At this point, it's better to leave some things unsaid."
The words send an inexplicable chill through Lux, though he doesn't know why. Somehow, he gets the feeling this is just the beginning, and he doesn't like it.
"Yes. I agree, and we must not discuss this with anyone, without everyone in this group agreeing," Bail adds.
"That means those closest to you, even family. No one can be told," Mothma declares.
Lux shares a silent glance with Padme, for a moment thinking about Ahsoka. She can't know either, for as much as he hates to keep something like this a secret from her. She'll understand, though. It's a Senator-only matter for now, and when it's time, she'll know.
***
"Congratulations on your Council appointment," Ahsoka chirps enthusiastically as Anakin enters the room. She's completely the opposite of the depression, bitterness, and anger raging inside of him.
He doesn't know what to say to her. He's – he's not on the Council in anything but name, really, and there's still a dark part of him that's wondering if they don't want to make him a master as simply a way to rub it is his face that they don't want him here, that he'll always be different.
It's not as if he even wants to be there, but they're breaking their own rules for him again. They always do that – as though he's different and shouldn't be treated how everyone else is, and he doesn't understand why.
The worst part is that the only reason they approved it was because they want him to spy on Palpatine. They want him to commit treason, and he doesn't understand why. Why would they do this? (He can't help that there's a part of him that's thinking about what happened to Ahsoka.)
Her cheerfulness dims when she realizes he's not up to being playful any more than he was earlier. "Anakin? What's the matter?"
Anakin sighs quietly. "Bo-Katan Kryze from Mandalore made contact with us," he comments, dodging the question. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to get Ahsoka involved with it, either. It's too dangerous.
Ahsoka raises an eye-marking. "What did she want?"
"Apparently, she's been tracking Maul, and managed to locate where he's hiding. She wants Republic to help capture him."
"Who's going?" Ahsoka asks, "Because if you and Obi-Wan are going, I'd –"
"Master Windu is going to go," Anakin interjects, "Obi-Wan volunteered, but the Council thinks he should be kept here to deal with Grievous if we locate him."
"Why? He hasn't exactly been successful with that in the past."
"That's what I said," Anakin mumbles darkly. How many times has he barely gotten there on time to rescue Obi-Wan? Last time they encountered Grievous, Anakin had to save him. The fight didn't even last a minute, from what Anakin heard.
"But this isn't what you're upset about, is it?" she queries, scrutinizing him.
He sighs again, looking away.
"Don't shut me out," Ahsoka requests, reaching over and taking his human hand in with hers. "What's the matter?"
"They – they didn't make me a Master. It's not –" It's not really real, that he's on the Council. It's just in name to give him that mission, to commit treason.
"What?!" Ahsoka exclaims, eyes going wide, "That doesn't make any sense! That is literally not how it works. How can they do that?!"
"I know," he grits out. They broke their rules to let him be a Jedi, but since, they've been breaking every known rule to make him stand out and keep him from fitting in, and he doesn't understand. He wants to leave. To walk away, without looking back. He wouldn't feel bad about it anymore – except that he'd have to leave Obi-Wan, but would that be bad? After all, Obi-Wan was the one who asked him to do this. (Does he care? Does he? Or is that also completely fake?)
"I don't understand! You can't be a Knight and be on the Council! And you deserve to be a Master more than anything. You would be already, if not for them, for what they did!"
It's true, and it hurts. Bitterness rises inside him again as he remembers what they did to Ahsoka. She may have found and made a life of her own, but it doesn't change how they took it from her before.
He sinks onto the couch, feeling completely worn, and she immediately joins him. "I wouldn't have expected them to agree to this," she admits, "Why – did you want this?"
"No. I –" He'll never be a true member, and he doesn't care to be either. He's going to leave the Order, anyway. It's another major responsibility he'll have now until the war ends. He doesn't want a part of this, but he can't turn Palpatine down. How could he? He can't refuse what Obi-Wan asked of him either, so he doesn't know what to do. "Palpatine did," he answers bitterly, and they leave it at that.
***
Ahsoka... doesn't know what to say about this, but it's infuriating to see how the Council treats her master. She notices it especially now – and looking back – that they never have treated him like he's one of them. It's like there's always something different about him.
Still, she thinks there might be something else. "Is that all?" Ahsoka queries, eyeing him worriedly.
Anakin sighs. "No, but it's... classified."
Ahsoka frowns. "If this is stressing you out so much on the first day, maybe you should just resign."
"I – I can't."
"Why not?" she inquires.
"I can't just not do the mission they gave me and... Palpatine wants me there."
She raises an eyemarking. "Palpatine?" Since when did he have a say in things like that?
"There's... a lot going on. I can't really explain."
She doesn't like this. It's bad enough that they have to deal with visions of Padme's possible death, and now this? Speaking of which... "You talked with Master Yoda, right?"
"Yes, I did," Anakin confirms.
"What did he say?"
"Nothing. He just told me that – that I need to be ready to let go." His bitterness is perfect evident.
What?! "Well, that's helpful," Ahsoka practically growls. She shouldn't have expected any differently, though, since this is a natural – well not natural but still – cause of death. Of course, that's what Yoda would say. "Clearly the Jedi can't help us," she concludes, not that she truly expected differently, even if she'd hoped. "I think all we can do is.... Make sure she's in the safest place she can be to give birth, and I think Coruscant is best so... maybe we don't need to worry?" She can only hope. Anakin doesn't look convinced, but he says nothing. Then again, if they didn't need to worry, why would he be having visions?
***
Anakin is feeling marginally better after leaving the meeting with Palpatine at the Opera House that night, even if he's as lost and confused and unsure of what to do as before. This... it gives him the slightest bit of a chance, though. Maybe.
If... if it's really possible to save someone's life by using the Dark Side, he's willing to do it. He can't let Padme and maybe his child – no, he can't think about that – die if he had the choice to save her. What kind of husband – and father – would that make him?
He can't shake what Palpatine was saying about the Jedi from his mind. Anakin refuses to believe they would turn on the Republic, because it's against everything he thought his entire life, but they did ask him to commit treason. That's what doesn't make sense. Palpatine would never betray the Republic. He wouldn't! It's so confusing, and he obviously can't turn to Palpatine to talk about things like he normally would.
There's Ahsoka, but he doesn't want to dump this on her.
He'll have to figure this out on his own, and he gets the feeling that for both things, he's already running out of time.
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