At the beginning of this book, I mentioned how this would be a more serious relationship work because I did not want to show perfect relationships, I didn't plan on creating a fairytale. It was a character play that allowed me to reflect on myself and grow with Cyril Edwards, making me realise that there was some point in my life where I felt like I could never truly fall in love, even though love was all that I desired.
Cyril Edwards has been inspired by the inner me, I've poured all my insecurities into him--feeling like you're never good enough, or loved enough, or that you don't deserve what you have because you hate yourself.
This was the journey of a journey, not a destination. This book has been very visual because I wanted to make you visualise what I write, and live inside Cyril Edwards. Become him, and through becoming him, you materialise your insecurities into him, and finally reject him with his insecurities, so that you can become something more than the imperfection you inhabit.
Was it supposed to make you feel good? No. None of the books in the Beautifully Dark Era were supposed to make you feel that. They were supposed to make you feel alone. And lonely. I refurbished the darkness to make it beautiful, to make it bearable, to accept that perhaps, in the end, we will, inevitably, be alone and die alone. As Joseph Conrad puts it,
"We live as we dream, alone."
Thank you for being a part of this wonderful journey with me. Thank you for getting to know Cyril Edwards and for giving this book a chance to be with you this year.
𝑅𝓎𝓊 𝒮𝒶𝓀𝓊𝓇𝒶𝒹𝒶