«The sound of your voice is piercing my patience.»
---
Cassandra frowned at the white label. Ten quid for a salad that looked barely edible? Her eyes scanned the whole thing, which didn't even look like real lettuce anyway. She put the container back into its place and looked around for something that looked maybe a little bit less dead and more appetising; she should have known that anything from Tesco would be terrible. Abigail would say something like don't be cheap, just go to Waitrose. Maybe she could learn how to cook with all the free time she had since she got fired.
It had been her idea to get out of the flat to get some food, not only because her stomach begged her for it, but also because her eyes were burning from watching too many Formula 1 for beginners videos and reading the name Sebastian Vettel every five minutes. And Mark Webber, right, he existed too. Every time she looked at a picture with Sebastian in it, the night she hit his car just came pouring down to her. And Cassandra was pretty sure there had to be some sort of irony because she'd never felt so threatened by a pair of blue eyes since her mother's kept creeping in her dreams.
She definitely needed a break, even though her break didn't seem to be as successful and productive at the moment. Cassandra sighed, pulling her phone to check the time. Maybe she could get some real food instead of those dubious things from the supermarket.
Cassandra: Do you want to get some food with me?
The message was for Gareth, she would invite Abigail if she didn't work so fucking far away, according to Cassandra. Gareth was closer, and she was maybe craving something from a restaurant they both used to go to before Cassandra got kicked out of her job. Not that she was still holding a grudge, definitely not.
Her phone buzzed, snapping her out of her reverie.
Gareth: I'm a bit busy with something right now, but if you're down to wait...you could come and wait here while I'm done
Sometimes it made her feel so useless. Her friends were busy, and she was just rotting in her flat feeling sorry for herself and spending her father's money. Cassandra had reached the level of pathetic she never wanted to reach. That was why she needed that stupid article to be perfect.
That didn't mean she wouldn't do anything to put off said article for a couple of hours. She would go crazy if she saw another one of those racing cars or Sebastian Vettel as a whole for that matter. Every time she remembered the situation, Cassandra convinced herself that a higher power made her pay for all her misgivings.
Cassandra: Alrighty, I'm on my way
It was the second time going back to that hell place she used to call workplace since she got fired, that had to be a record, but it was that or lurking in the supermarket and she didn't want to look that creepy.
Gladly for Cassandra, the distance wasn't too far away and she didn't even have to miss the car Abigail had taken that morning. Iman's bored expression changed the moment Cassandra walked out of the elevator.
"Cassandra." Iman grinned as soon as she was close enough to her desk. "This is a surprise, again."
"I'm here for Gareth, you don't mind if I wait for him over there?" She pointed at a couple of chairs on one of the corners of the reception lobby. Iman shook her head and gestured to the chairs uncaringly.
Cassandra took a seat and ogled at the magazines on the little table next to her chair. Those were past editions of the magazine, maybe if she picked one she could find one of her articles there. The idea of working for Hans and the magazine again full-time crept inside her mind like an intrusive thought, and that was enough for Cassandra to realise she was really losing it career-wise.
"You know if you want to wait for him in the studio you can take this." Iman leaned on her desk to look at her properly, holding a visitor's pass in her hand and giving her a smile. "He's doing a really important shoot and I don't know how much it'll take him to be free, just thought it was better if you went over there. No one would mind. I know those chairs are uncomfortable." Iman wrinkled her nose.
They were. "You're a saint, Iman." Cassandra stood from her chair and walked over to her, taking the pass from her hand. "Thank you." Iman just grinned.
In a more positive light, she didn't have to walk in front of her coworkers — ex-coworkers — to get to the studio room where they usually did photoshoots, nevertheless, Cassandra made sure to walk as fast as possible. There wasn't any music coming from the studio, which was weird considering Gareth always blasted his awful tunes — very Billboard Hot 100 — when he was in charge of doing a photoshoot, Cassandra took that as a sign that perhaps he was done with it already.
She opened the studio door quietly just in case and made sure to close it just as quietly when she was inside. Then as she turned around to supposedly greet Gareth, the words got stuck in her throat as her eyes spotted the people in the set up of the studio.
Not only had she seen the guy in real life, but also the millions of pictures of him she'd seen in the past hours were engraved in her brain already. Sebastian Vettel stood in the photoshoot set up wearing his unzipped racing suit while he talked to a blonde woman who was trying to fix his hair. His teammate, Mark Webber, was a few feet away from him, talking to someone else as well. Cassandra looked around, Gareth was nowhere to be seen. She considered just quietly slipping out of the room again, but by the time she tried to reach for the door again, Sebastian looked up at her and his eyes widened a bit.
"Cassandra?" He was confused and she didn't blame him. The blonde woman turned to look at her as well, and so did his teammate, and some of the crew members working around the set-up.
She noticed he told something to the woman in what seemed to be German and this one nodded before he made his way toward her. His teammate looked like he couldn't care less about Sebastian and his connection to Cassandra anyway, and drifted his attention from them just a couple of seconds after the blonde driver had explicitly and loudly called her name.
"What a coincidence." He smiled when he was close enough to her, that lopsided smile that was a bit cheeky and overconfident too.
Cassandra pointed a finger at him. "You're a professional racing driver." She blurted out, her tone even sounding accusatory for some reason. No hello's or anything like that, just straight to the point.
Sebastian checked his own racing suit and looked funnily at her. "I think I am, yeah."
"And you let me tell you you suck at parking." The idea of looking like a fool through someone else's eyes was disturbing in a very egocentric way.
He chuckled, apparently not taking it as seriously as she was doing it. "It was funny." Sebastian shrugged. "That's not even the worst I've heard about my driving." Cassandra wanted to frown. "And what are you? A photographer?" He was so casual.
She opened her mouth to clarify but before any word could come out, someone opened the door of the studio and pushed Cassandra forward. Sebastian grabbed her by the arms, steadying her and avoiding any collision with him. Cassandra immediately took a step away, forcing him to let go of her, and Sebastian had the nerve to chuckle at that.
"Oh, Cassandra." Gareth's voice came from her side.
She gave Sebastian one last look and then turned to Gareth. "Iman told me I could wait for you here."
"Sure, you can." Gareth glanced from Sebastian to Cassandra, his lips tugging into a grin. "I can see you two have met." They exchanged a look, although Sebastian just seemed amused by the whole thing. "Seb, Cassandra will be in charge of writing your article." Seb? Since when were they on a nickname basis?
Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest and raised both eyebrows, looking at her. "Will she?" He sounded like suddenly a realisation downed on him. Like everything was making sense, even though it didn't.
"I will," Cassandra confirmed with a stern voice. Her eyes were fixed on his, acting like keeping eye contact was some sort of competition.
Too bad neither of them was pleased with losing.
Gareth looked from him to her a couple of times. "Okay." He dragged the word in the air, at least getting both of them to stop making eye contact. "I've got the lenses needed." He told Sebastian as he raised his camera in the air.
The driver nodded in acknowledgement and turned to Cassandra again. That overconfident smile was starting to throw her off a bit. "Can't wait for the interview." He simply said before turning around to walk back to where he was before.
Almost involuntarily, her brows furrowed just a bit as she made sure to follow his entire journey back to the set-up. Just like she had thought, Sebastian looked over at her when he resumed his conversation with the blonde woman who waited for him. Cassandra could feel her eye twitching.
That was far different from her experience with him before.
"What is he doing here?" Cassandra abruptly turned to Gareth. "What are they doing here?" Her brain immediately yelled don't be stupid to herself.
Her friend pursed his lips. "I had to take their photos for the article?" He sounded elated. "These guys are busy all the time, they travel around the world for races and all that. We've had to accommodate the heavy schedule to make it work for the article," Gareth explained and then raised an eyebrow. "What's going on there?"
"Huh?" Cassandra realised how she sounded before and feigned incredulity.
It took Gareth a couple of seconds but he eventually narrowed his eyes on her. "Cassandra you can't sleep with him, this is important." He warned her and even added a pointed finger for dramatics.
Cassandra gasped, though she knew that accusation was completely valid. "That's...offensive." She dropped her face. "I won't sleep with him, Gareth. Don't be a twat." She rolled her eyes. Was that the image all her friends had of her?
"Promise me." He said seriously.
"Are you serious?" Gareth nodded. "I promise I won't try to sleep with him and ruin this whole thing." Cassandra raised her right hand in the air, just to make it clearer.
"Thank you." Gareth squeezed her arm and she huffed, annoyed. "Now please stop being distracting and just wait over there, alright?" He gestured with a nod at a small sofa in the room.
She nodded in silence and dragged herself toward the sofa, plopping down on it and checking how everything went back to action. Her attention was glued to Sebastian though, no matter how much she tried to act indifferent.
To say Sebastian, and his teammate, Mark — she couldn't forget he existed too — were cut-to-be models would be a lie, but the confidence and attitude they pulled off really did numbers on them. They did look awkward from time to time, especially when someone gave them instructions about how they could possibly strike a pose. Cassandra had to bite the inside of her cheek on multiple occasions to avoid snorting at the awkwardness both of them exuded. It was just exactly what someone could expect from a couple of racing drivers.
They caught each other making eye contact a couple of times, Cassandra and Sebastian, and the smile he kept sending her way when that happened was disconcerting for her. It was like he went from this nice guy who didn't yell at her for hitting his car to this smug and self-assured guy who clearly was enjoying the coincidence.
The shoot didn't last as much as some others did, something about them being busy with other pre-race weekend preparations and compromises...or whatever that meant. Cassandra stayed quiet in her own corner of the studio while everybody wrapped up and the drivers went to change from their racing suits, perhaps if she just shut up and stopped exchanging looks with Sebastian, the guy wouldn't acknowledge her again. Plenty of time for that when she would meet him again for the interview, Cassandra thought.
Her plan whatsoever failed miserably the moment he walked back into the studio, all simply wearing jeans and a Red Bull hoodie — Cassandra did say he was nowhere near close to being a model, the clothes were just more proof of it. Were they obliged to wear sponsor clothing the whole time? She didn't know. At least the colour was decent.
Sebastian told something to the blonde woman — who Cassandra now knew was his PR manager, Britta — before he made his way over to her. She glanced at Gareth, but this one was too busy checking the pictures he'd taken on his computer to even pay an ounce of attention to her. Everybody else was too busy wrapping up to focus on them.
She cursed under her breath before Sebastian stood in front of her.
"You should watch the next race." He suggested with an insinuating tone. Cassandra blinked. "You know, to prepare for the article."
Before she could retort, because he seemingly was having fun and she wasn't, Sebastian waved his hand at her and walked away, leaving the studio along with his PR manager and a few other people. There was something about it. She didn't know if he was taking the piss because he thought their coincidence wasn't as coincidental, or because the idea of Cassandra knowing absolutely nothing about him and his world entertained him.
He was...throwing her off. Cassandra wasn't used to that.
—-
Cassandra nibbled nervously on her pencil and gagged when she almost choked on a ripped piece of wood. Knowing how her body worked, and the reactions it took when something was in her mind, she was aware that something was unsettling her. And that something had a name, blue eyes, and two Formula 1 world titles. He was so...annoying. Well, not annoying, she just wasn't used to men being like that. Overconfident and not intimidated by her.
That sounded a lot like a blow to her ego rather than something else.
She sighed loudly, threw her pen back on the desk and grabbed her phone. Cassandra wouldn't be able to pull a good structure for the article if she didn't get her head straight in the game. So she made a call because clearing things off wasn't always her first option, but it was nagging her.
The tone rang and rang, and for a moment she was tempted to ring off until it was too late and the call was accepted.
"Sebastian." She simply said, not as a greeting, just to let him know she was on the other side of the call.
"Honestly, this is the last call I expected." By the tone of his voice, she already knew how things would go.
"I did not hit your car to get closer to you for the article, I just want to clarify that." She blundered out with no anaesthesia. A second later Cassandra wrinkled her nose, realising how cringing she sounded and felt.
Sebastian hummed. "I never said I thought that." He laughed. Cassandra furrowed her brows. "You didn't even know who I was." Yeah, he was definitely having fun and she was out of her comfort zone.
That usually didn't end well. For her. "How do you know I wasn't lying?" Okay, now she wanted to scold herself for that. Why was she acting like a dunce? She was far better than that. Perhaps it was the way she knew no one ever believed a word she said.
"At the studio, you seemed pretty confident that you didn't know I was a racing driver. I was convinced, really." He was so...frustrating. Yeah, frustrating was definitely the word. "It's a very amusing coincidence, you have to admit that. You could even call it fate." He was taking the piss out of her. It had to be that. "It's a bit funny though because I don't live here full time but I've never seen you in the building before and I've stayed there for quite a while. More proof that it's an amusing coincidence."
And he was curious. Of course he was. "I was visiting a friend who lives there." Fucking a friend and having an anxiety attack after that. Tomatoes, tomatos. Whatever. She didn't even have to explain herself, but she was doing it for whatever reason.
"See I won't even question your visiting hours." He said with a hint of hilarity. "I was actually pleased when Gareth said you'd be doing the article. It could be fun."
There wasn't a lot of fun for her about that. "I hit your car."
Sebastian snorted. "You're feeling more guilty about that than some drivers who've done the same and ruined a few of my races." He did sound a bit bitter about that.
Guilt is a stretch though...right?
"Anyway," Sebastian continued and then muffled a yawn. "I don't hold that little incident against you, okay? Neither do I think you did it intentionally, and it won't affect how I handle our interview so you can rest easy, Cassandra." There was something about the way he said her name...like she was humouring him. "I have to catch a flight early in the morning so I have to leave you, but don't hesitate to give me another of these random calls if you want. I quite enjoy them." She could even picture him smirking. "Can't wait for the interview. Sleep well, Cassandra, and don't forget to watch the next race." There had to be a wink somewhere behind the phone call.
Her answer never came as the call ended. Cassandra slowly took the phone away and blinked at the little device for a second. That was strange.
She pushed off her chair and walked straight to Abigail's bedroom across from hers, knocking on the door before a little 'it's open' came from inside. Cassandra opened the door and was welcomed by Abigail lying in bed, an open book in her lap and a sweet smile plastered on her lips. She leaned against the desk opposite the bed and crossed her arms over her chest.
Abigail tilted her head, analyzing her expression. "Are you okay?"
"I visited Gareth today to go for lunch and ran into Sebastian at the studio. Also, I just got off the phone with him." She huffed some air.
"Sebastian Vettel?" Abigail raised an eyebrow and Cassandra glared at her like it was obvious. "Vettel it is." She funnily said. "Now that you've seen him twice in person, be honest, is he as cute as he looks in the pictures? You know, all big blue eyes and looking like trouble himself? Was his teammate there too? Is he that tall?"
Cassandra frowned. "Abigail, focus."
"Fine." Her friend chuckled. "What is it with the face and the attitude? Did he say something to you?"
"He's so..." Cassandra chewed on her lip, leaving the words in the air.
"What?" Abigail pushed with an inquisitive tone.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "His whole reaction to me hitting his car and then finding out I'll be writing his article is vexing me. Like, he doesn't care and finds fun out of all of this." Cassandra gestured messily in the air.
Abigail blinked. "You're losing me with this...that doesn't sound like a bad thing." Cassandra glared daggers at her. "Or is it a bad thing?"
"It's vexing," Cassandra said with a serious tone.
Her friend grinned. She's grinning. "Sounds to me like you're annoyed because you found your match." Cassandra narrowed her eyes, it was unbelievable. "What? Cocky and a bit irritating. It's a little like you sometimes." Cassandra grabbed the nearest object on Abigail's desk and threw it at her. "Hey, tone down the violence."
Cassandra groaned in misery because that was the closest feeling for her. "You're not helping."
"I feel like you're making it a bigger deal than it is." Abigail was acting like the person in front of her was a child and not a 25-year-old adult woman who despite her regular bad decisions had enough consciousness to analyse her feelings and thoughts. "He might vex you," Her tone sounded funny when using the same word Cassandra decided to pick to describe her feelings. "But it's just a one-time thing and I'm sure you can put your vexation aside for the time you spend on the article." She was having fun with the word. "And you said he was nice with the whole crash situation, so you shouldn't keep judging him just for this one exchange. This is a good chance to polish your social skills."
"You're talking to me like I'm a scared dog." Cassandra could've been offended if she didn't know that sometimes it was needed.
"Because you are kind of acting like one." Her friend was trying hard not to laugh in her face. "I do have to say it's refreshing to see you so dissuasive about a guy, you're usually pretty good with them."
Was it illegal to kill someone if mental self-defence was involved?
Cassandra didn't think so. "You're the worst." She pushed away from the desk and pulled Abigail's blanket, knocking her book in the way.
"Just don't let him flirt his way into your brain, Cass." Flirt was a strong word there.
"He's not flirting, he's being annoying." She clarified.
"Vexing." Abigail mocked and Cassandra couldn't look more like she wanted to murder her even if she tried.
In the end, Abigail didn't even have to make much effort to kick Cassandra out of her room, all the girl had to do was keep joking about how she was being dramatic and it was enough for her to drag herself back to her own room.
As she tried to make an effort to just go and throw herself straight into bed, Cassandra found herself stopping in front of her desk and scanning the few notes she had made for her supposedly — and now quite irritating for some reason — interview with the Formula 1 driver. And his teammate. Fuck's sake.
Sebastian Vettel. Germany. Two-time World Champion. Her eyes were just focused on him.
What does racing mean to you?
It sounded like a high school question, she was aware, but if racing was to them what writing was to her, Cassandra knew she could get more insight about them with that simple understanding instead of plaguing the interviews with unnecessary and superficial questions. She did have to come up with more, but if Hans wanted something with soul, understanding within the root of it all was simpler.
Surely aside from her unjustified vexation — as Abigail had so thoughtfully decided to call it — there had to be something more to Sebastian Vettel than what she had experienced and read about him. He couldn't just be the overconfident little shit who treated winning as the main priority and thought he was better than everybody else — the internet's words, not hers.
She'd just have to put her disconcert — and vexation — that she felt with him aside in order to make a good job.