***
i struck a match and blew your mind
but i didn't mean it and you didn't see it
the ties were black the lies were white in
shades of gray in candlelight i wanted
to leave him i needed a reason
***
Vada
//
The local library has its air conditioning on freezing and the air smells like dust and old parchment paper, and all the way between the many rows of shelves of books is where I've been for the past week.
Nose deep in whatever peaks my interest, I've been hiding myself away in the depths of New York's finest authors to write a literature research paper for another one of my late applications to transfer.
I've been in this exact spot for the past few days, scribbling down any information I can find. Clicking away at websites of online applications and writing down letters and phone numbers for some school, or any job at this point to just take me in.
"I've gotta get the fuck out of this town," I tell Juliet one of the first days, maybe it was Tuesday.
We sat across from each other on the carpeted floors between the bookshelves. I've already gone through the stacks of titles between us a few times, and a pencil stays behind my ear except for when I need to write down notes.
"You're telling me," Li raises one of her eyebrows, leaning back on the bookshelf behind her and a cherry lollipop between her teeth.
Without a care in the world, my best friend's attention stays on the libraries magazine section. Because with her scholarship set in stone, she's only interested in top fashion trends and Hollywood's latest drama.
"If I don't get this in soon, I'm so screwed," I sighed as I scribbled down my information on the lines of what seemed to be my hundredth application.
"You're a last minute slacker, you did this to yourself," she says, and she knows she's not helping as I send her a glare but she just smirks.
I've got six applications done for some low corporate jobs and two applications for schools. Nothing major of course, because no big university is going to accept me this late. So right now, community college was my best option until I could sort my shit out.
I've been working my ass off and putting my heart and soul into these research papers hoping in result it somehow pays off. I'm just hoping I can earn my place in the city instead of going just to free load off of Juliet's parents.
But either way, I'm going to New York fucking city.
On Thursday night I'm at one of the computers, sending emails and writing down phone numbers. The only one in this building is me and the cliche old hag who runs the place. She even says 'shh' every five minutes when she finds me talking out loud to myself.
Sat at the back row and as far away from her desk as I can get, I'm buried in a book that tells me about every kind of college course you can take. My attention has been nowhere outside of this library all week, so when a voice picks up in front of me I am immediately brought back to reality.
"I should have known I would find you in a place like this." I know who it is before I even look up.
Harry stands tall and sticks out like a sore thumb between old literature. His dirty converse makes its way over to the seat next to mine and he plops himself down with an easy smile and glowing eyes.
"Are you stalking me?" I joked, leaning back in my seat away from my work as our knees brush but I don't move away. My contact for him has been missed these past few days so I'm taking what I can get.
He stares at me with a cigarette placed behind his ear and his cross chain dangles from his neck as he leans towards me. "If I have to," he smirks, eyes glancing down to my lips before he traces over every inch of my face.
Before he can lock me in his trance, I break our contact leaning back up and focus my eyes on the computer screen again. "I really gotta get this done," I act like his presence doesn't affect me.
I hear him breathe out as his attention is still mine. "What are you doing here anyways?" he wonders.
"College applications," I barely muttered, trying to find the place I left off on the book page before suddenly hearing the click of a lighter.
My head snaps over as the cigarette is now placed between Harry's lips and his hand hovers over it to light it. But before he can set fire, I rip the cigarette from his lips and I give him a look like he's insane.
So then I ask him "Are you insane?" to clarify but he just smirks. "We're in a library for God sake, you can't smoke in here. Miss O'hara hates me enough," I throw the cigarette in his lap and turn my attention forward again.
"Okay one, I've never even set foot in a library until today," I hear him say. "And two, who the hell is Miss O'hara—"
"Shh!" He gets cut off by his answer and both of our heads turn to the end of the aisle. Standing there is the short old woman who is glaring at the two of us before pushing the cart of books in front of her again.
The carefree boy just laughs under his breath and shrugs the interaction off as he leans back towards me and his hand reaches for any part of me he can touch.
"Seriously though, Harry, no distractions." I take his hand away from my bare knee with a stern look.
"Okay, fine I'll just sit here and be completely quiet—"
"Harry—"
"I'm serious, V. Keep working, it will be like I'm not even here," I see the ghost of his smile from the corner of my eye. I watch as he leans back in his chair, arms crossed, legs spread and completely relaxed.
"Like that's possible," I roll my eyes, but take his word for it as I resume my work.
"The library will be closing soon. This is your five minute warning." We hear over the intercom as I'm finishing up.
Harry only half keeps his promise through the process. Because every once in a while like he couldn't help himself, he would twirl the ends of my hair between his fingertips and lightly draw circles on my back. It was distracting at the same time it was comforting so I just let him be.
"Come on, make yourself useful and help me put these back," I hand Harry a stack of books and carry the other pile.
"So, New York, huh?" He follows after me as we walk down the rows of shelves and start to find the right sections for each book.
"That's the plan," I nod as he hands me one and I put it back on the shelf. "The whole idea of the city that never sleeps and the lights that never stopped shining seemed kind of cliche at first. But I don't know, I guess I want it because it's nothing like this place." I let my thoughts be trailed off out loud before glancing over at him.
There's something in his eyes that is unfamiliar but before I can catch what it is he washes it away with a smirk. "So you're still gonna run, even after everything?" he wonders, and it's light but there's meaning behind it.
"Especially after everything." I admitted. "I just want to find somewhere that will give me something, so yeah if running takes me there then I guess I'll never stop." I look from his eyes to the last book in his hand and just as I'm reaching for it, he reaches for me instead.
He steps towards me and takes the book out of my hands before dropping it on the floor.
As it lands by our feet I glare "Harry—"
But he's cutting me off by trapping me between him and the shelf behind me. There's a glint in his eyes as his hands are secure on my waist and he steals all of my breath away as his lips press into mine.
"Yeah, I could just see you underneath the lights, baby." The touch of his whisper breathes over my lips before he places soft kisses down my jaw and his words find my ear.
"Picturing strawberry blonde flowing with the night life of the city. Nightclubs, socialite parties still being awake when the sun comes up just to do it all again the next night. You would thrive and you would be alive. And New York is alive, just like you wanna be, huh?" His question is rhetorical but the meaning behind it is influential.
Before our lips meet again, the lights around us shut off completely. I look up with realization and snap out of whatever daze he put me in.
"We gotta go," I tell him, stepping forward but when he grabs my hand, his green eyes glimmer and his mischievous smirk tells me he has different plans. And before I know it, he's pulling me in the opposite direction of the exit.
"What are you doing?" I whisper to him in panic as he pulls me through the darkness and the maze of shelves and books.
"Shh," Looking over his shoulder, the most troubled boy I know sends me a wink while I let him pull me into his chaos.
My heart's beating through my chest as Harry guides us all the way through to the back of the building. Lost in the rows of shelves, he then pushes us back against one. Chests touching, his eyes tell me to keep quiet as we both try to sense for any movement.
We hear the clicking of Miss O'hara's heels headed on the opposite side of the building towards the exit. Then, the front door clicks and locks and as soon as we're alone, a wicked smirk raises on trouble's lips.
"This is so fucking stupid, we're gonna get caught—"
"Live a little, V" He says before he kisses me.
I go to protest again but with his hands sliding up the skin on my thighs, they ride up the skirt of my dress and I'm lost again. My breath is heavy and my body melts under his touch as he taps his fingertips on my inner thigh and barley brushes the material of the lace that covers the fire below.
"Harry," His name is all I can manage to say.
Watching me closely he pushes my back further into the shelves where we're hidden far away and could get away with so much. His hands don't stop touching and butterflies don't stop fluttering. I feel the warmth of his touch and the fierceness in his eyes as his kiss becomes more determined and the need for him gets stronger.
He lifts his knee between my thighs and spreads them further apart as I hold onto his shoulders with force. Kissing up my jaw again his lips find mine where he barely places a kiss before his fingers slip underneath the thin material between my thighs and the sound that comes out of my mouth is too loud.
"Fuck," I whisper, burying my head into his neck while he lightly touches where I ache the most.
"We gotta be quiet, V baby, we're in a library," I hear the smirk in his voice and the next moan that comes from my lips is covered by me biting into his skin.
"Just like that," he hells me and without warning he forces two of his fingers inside of me at the same time he pushes aggressively against my clit.
My scream gets covered by his other free hand after he grabs me from his shoulder and pulls me back by my neck as my head collides with the shelf behind me. Books fall by our feet and the anticipation of getting caught rumbles my stomach and chest.
With his entire hand covering my mouth, Harry's forehead is leaned on mine and the thin green in his eyes is the only thing I can see for miles. He's working his fingers at a rapid pace and with his thumb circling my nerves intensely my eyes close on instinct.
"Open your fucking eyes and tell me who makes you feel this good," The rough grit in his voice makes my stomach swirl and lazy butterflies turn to intense pleasure.
"Come on, tell me I'm your fucking hidden heart, baby" His words wash over me and I'm forced to obey when he adds a third finger, circling hard on my nerves and making me come undone with force.
Removing his hand he lets me fall back into his shoulder where my sounds are muffled between the skin of his neck and the material of his shirt.
"Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry—" Is all I'm able to manage over and over as he completely corrupts my mind and takes over my entire body.
"That's right, just like that good girl," I hear him through blurred vision. "Good fucking girl," he lifts me through my high, touching and circling where I'm hypersensitive and still shaking from his touches.
Ring cladded fingers slip out of me gently and with intense eye contact he makes sure he knows that it's him who made me drip from his fingers before he sucks then clean and smirks from my taste.
"Now I know why you like to spend so much time here, we should come to libraries more often, V." He laughs under his breath as I swat his shoulder and try to catch my breath again.
"I hate you," I laugh too, and watch the satisfying glint in Harry's eyes as he mutters "Uh-huh,"
Still stuck in his trance my heavy eyes rank over his face and down his figure to the hardness in his jeans. Like all of his, I also got an idea as my hands traveled to his hips and pulled him closer between my legs by the front of his jeans and the waistband of his boxers.
Pushing our hips together, his eyes snap to where we could be connected and I watch them darken as his hands tighten around my hips and his teeth sink into his bottom lip as he quietly groans.
My fingers break leather from metal and just before we can get too close, a shine of a light a few feet away creeps through the shelves and heavy footsteps are headed towards us. We both freeze with wide eyes and beating hearts as the footsteps get closer and the light gets brighter.
"Anybody there?" A loud voice calls out and my own hand covers my mouth as Harry's wide eyes are suddenly humorous.
"Fuck," I mouth to him silently with panicked eyes.
Already caught, he tells me "Yeah, get ready to run, V." while lifting away from me and fastening his belt again.
"Hey!" The security guard's head suddenly peaks over the wall of the shelf in front of us and on instinct Harry's grabbing my hand and we are running in the opposite direction.
"Hey, you two, get back here!" The security guard is running after us just barely catching up while my hearts beating out of my fucking chest.
"Go, go, go," I scream, suddenly laughing as Harry's pulling me in front of him with his own laugh navigating us through the rows before we finally get to the exit.
With the security guard lost behind the bookshelves, I suddenly stop with realization.
"Wait fuck, my bag is still by the computers," I go to turn back but Harry pulls me back again.
"Forget about the fucking bag, Vada," He heavily implied, dark eyes moving between mine in disbelief.
I shake my head, rushing out "My applications are in there, I spent hours on them. I can't come back for them after tonight, they're never gonna let me—"
I hear him curse before he turns around and before I can interject he's throwing me his car keys and tells me "Get my car, I'll meet you up front, go," and just like that we're splitting in opposite directions.
I find Harry's car easily in the empty parking lot, unlock it and jump in his driver's side before starting the engine. My entire body shakes with adrenaline and it pumps my heart as it rings the beat through my chest.
I pull right in front of the double doors, and with every second that ticks by everything remains too still and too slow. And right when I'm considering going in there after him, trouble comes flying out of the doors with a shit eating grin on his face, my bag secured in his hands, and the heavyset security guard running behind him.
When he gets in front of the car he throws my bag through the opened passenger window. "Come on," I yell, finding myself laughing as he opens the car door and dives in head first.
He rushes in a shout. "Go, go, go," But I'm already stepping on the gas and spinning the wheel to the right before he has the chance to shut the door.
Speeding up, I pull out of the parking lot while we both watch in the rear view mirror as the security guard tries to continue to run after us but fails and gives up when he knows we've already gotten away.
We pull out onto the road and as wind flies between us, I don't slow down the car with the adrenaline still rushing through my body. "Holy fucking shit," I yelled, laughing as I look over at Harry who has the same rush of energy in his eyes.
Leaning over the console, he presses his lips against mine and when we get lost in each other he takes the wheel for me before we pull away with another laugh.
I take the wheel again and start to speed up on the empty towns roads. "Goddamnit, Harry, only you could get me banned from the public fucking library for life." I laughed.
"Yeah, well, fuck Miss O'hara," He laughs and I smile.
"Fuck Miss O'hara" I agreed. "So where to?" I then ask, looking over as he is already looking at me.
His eyes are blown out wide and the thin layer of green breaks out a fire and it's all mine. Wind blows as he leans forward to turn up the radio where Nirvana has its guitar melodies and Cobain's voice speaks volumes. Then he turns to me with an ominous grin.
"I'll go wherever you go, V." He admits, giving me full control over our destination and future.
So we pull onto the highway and go as far as we are willing.
***
A/N
I'm back baby.
I didn't wanna even upload this chapter until I started with the next one. so that's why it's so late. :/
buuuuuut.. the next chapter is coming along pretty swiftly (see what i did there?) so it should be up..... soon...ish?
thanks for ur patience. can't believe we're at 20k. y'all are crazy.
with love,
-J <3