"I shall kiss you so much that they will mistake my mouth for yours."
_
˚｡⋆♪ Billie Bossa Nova - Billie Eilish ♪ ⋆ ˚｡
"Can I please get this?" Taehyung is standing before a Pepero stall, picking up a box of it for you. A box. Right.
It took you by surprise. Taehyung purchasing it for you. No, not the fact that he's buying it for you–but that he's noticed you wanted it.
You were sure you didn't make it that obvious. Well, you're a fangirl when it comes to snacks - but that doesn't mean you ogled over it. Just spared it a glance. Noticed it existed here at this moment. That, if it lands on your tongue, you'd feel so euphoric. So so nice it'd feel.
And Taehyung was already getting it for you. No words needed. Just a simple look over you. That's all it took him.
"Is this flavour okay?" Taehyung takes you out of your thoughts and shows you the chocolate box. It's a large one he picked. "Or do I buy everything?"
Oh, and he's already about to remove his wallet. "No, no. I'm good with chocolate." Taehyung tilts his head after hearing you, and doesn't stop digging into his pocket. "That's not quite an answer, Y/n. Just good? What's your best?"
You look at the different flavours spread on the counter. You'd prefer chocolate instead of strawberries, vanilla or oranges. There was something about the chocolate flavour. But ice cream? You preferred butterscotch over chocolate.
But of course, it's a pepero stall.
"I'm being genuine." You confirm, brush your fingers against the vanilla box and pick it up, "How about you take one for you too?" Shake the box in front of him and there's already a big smile appearing on his lips.
Humbly nods and doesn't say much. "If you like it, sure."
It makes you laugh. "What do you mean?" See him already paying the bill for the two boxes and thanking the lady.
He glances down at you. "What?" He asks, still smiling and keeping the boxes in the polythene. "No, what do you actually like?" You clear your statement and he looks down at the polythene and then back at you.
Holds back himself from saying 'YOU.'
And it's not going pretty well after you do a little detailing about the flavours, trying to get one from his choice too. Being all nuisance to his warm, soft heart. Almost having it slip out of his rib shell.
He huffs and doesn't let it slip. "I'm okay with Vanilla." He takes the different flavour of boxes from your palm and places them down on the counter. It only makes the lady on the counter look at you two adoringly.
"So sweet." She comments, take the focus on her. She's an old lady with a walking stick resting under her hand. Hair tied in a bun. Eyes crinkled close with all that, smiling. Seated perfectly and leaning forward.
You and Taehyung look at her, taken aback. She lifts her finger and calls for Taehyung to come closer. He blinks and bends, only to have his cheeks pulled by her.
"Wish you were single." She grins widely and keeps on tugging on those bread cheeks as Taehyung blushes, "Wha — halmeoni. I bet you have all men running around you." He titters, a little nervous, "Me? I'm not even that good of a match for you, you know—"
The grandma gasps and gets on her weak legs, "YOU BRAT–" she slams her palm on his back, hitting him flat on his back with a screeching sound, "I WAS ASKING FOR MY GRAND DAUGHTER WHAT DO YOU—" She repeatedly hits him and Taehyung laughs out loud.
Did it on purpose to tease her. It makes you laugh too much. Hands on stomach and eyes tearing from all that laughter.
"Alright, apologies, halmonie." He bows and apologizes after having at least a hundred beatings from her.
She huffs in disbelief and takes her seat, "As you should."
Taehyung ducks his head back and laughs, "Of course. You're too nice." He does a little buttering, and she's already given him a free cupcake on his goodbye to her. He sure knew how to impress ladies.
"Alright, dig in." You're sitting on the bench, unpacking the box and tearing open the packet with your teeth, all set to relish the greatest present bestowed upon the human race.
Snack.
"Yup, I am." You fight back a smile and Taehyung lets lose his grin. Can't stop smiling since he got to have some time with you separately from the rest of the group.
You look at his gaze and avert yours immediately. Fidget with the packet and slowly pick out one stick to eat. And he's still staring.
"You don't want to eat?" You don't look at him, bite a small piece and chew in tiny as Taehyung presses his lips tight. Can't watch you being so cute anymore. Decides to look away. Sits upright and sighs. Smiles.
"It's like a..." he squints his eyes, going in deep thought to find a word, "... you know, finding happiness in watching others eat." He expresses, and it eases you a tad bit from the sudden awkward moment.
"Oh, I see." You chuckle, sit comfortably and enjoy the savouring pleasure whereas Taehyung leans back on his seat, re-arranges his hair and crosses his legs watching the little children playing around.
Speaks after a few minutes, "So you're leaving tonight, right?" He asks mid-silence, easing the quiet environment and trying hard to not look at you eating. Cause with those cheeks full of chocolate and lips pouted? Couldn't think he'd be able to handle that.
"Yeah," you mutter.
He hums in response. Folds his arms.
You chew the last bite of the stick and dust your palm, then close the box, dig your pocket, and finally get to the point. The reason why you actually came to talk to him.
Take out the letter and fiddle with it. "And Taehyung... I wanted to talk to you about this."
"Hm?" Taehyung glances at you and follows your gaze down to find you holding a letter. Sends him a mini heart attack. His cheeks become reddish and the embarrassment pours down on him.
"God Y/n, why would you..." He groans, throws his head back, palms and hides his red face.
"Yeah," you mumble, guilty for bringing this up. But I can't just can't feign ignorance. "I'm sorry,"
"I told you to not discuss this letter..." he keeps his tone low while he takes his hand off his face, "It's embarrassing."
You sigh, nod, know what he's talking about, "You told me..." unfold it, "But it didn't feel right, you know."
He takes a deep breath and lowers his head and his hair grazing his eyes. Tilts his head to see you. "Nah, it won't be. I know you don't have any feelings for me." He asserts, his cheeks still blushing, "I'm sorry for putting you in a tough position for giving me an answer."
You blink at his sentence, "No, no–that's not it. After Jungkook, you're that one person I am the closest to, so..." you apologetically smile at him, "You at least deserve an answer? Not just ignorance, you know."
Tilting his head back again with his eyes open he breathes deeply, and looks at the birds flying around the little water bubbles kids are blowing, "but there's no need to do that," he mentions, drops his eyes at you, "I know you already like someone else."
You freeze.
"Let's not take names, shall we?" He sadly smiles, looking back up at the clouds that slowly hide the sun. It is going to set soon. "You're in love with someone who already has given his heart to someone else and I am in love with someone who's in love what that person." he murmurs, "tragic isn't it?"
He doesn't know that your love is reciprocated, and Jungkook does like you.
You remain quiet with nothing to say. It felt bad to hide it from him. From anyone. But you know that Jungkook knows better. He's said he'll say it to them himself. And it won't take long. You trusted him.
"I get how it is, how much ever both of us try," Taehyung shrugs, lowers his eyes on you, and adds, "The other person is not willing to give up, so it's gonna be how it is."
You meet with his eyes, and he's sad. As if he understands your pain, too. It only fills you with guilt.
"I wish you luck, though." He smiles heartbreakingly, watching your stance change. Your happy face glows down slowly. Yes, it was taking a toll on you. Getting on your nerves. Hitting your conscience. Making you think if this is all worth it. Hurting everyone in the process.
Your flight was tonight. Hearts were going to break. You had to face Jennie. Tell her the truth. Fight for the two of you. It was going to be either friendship or love.
You understand now. What the question Jungkook asked last night meant. And it's only taking over your head. Scribbling unnecessary things.
It was the inevitable. Eventually, you had to go through this. But what's making you anxious is how Jennie will react. How she's going to take all of this?
Suddenly, your insides churn. Taking you to various outcomes. Easy to worst. You know it's not going to be as easy as you think it will be. It was going to happen tomorrow as soon as you land in Korea, hand in hand with Jungkook. Breaking your best friend's heart.
Oh, so mean of you.
She didn't deserve any of this. You ruined it all, didn't you? Shouldn't have started this drama of lies. Shouldn't have brought it to this—
"I know it's going to be hard but Y/n..." Taehyung snaps you out of your thoughts, rests his palm on your head, and lowers you closer to his chest. Rests you there. "Be strong." He whispers. Empathies with you.
Your heart pains. So much. Nod at him, clench your fingers tight. Although Taehyung meant something else, you got what you needed to hear. Calming you a little for now, at least.
"You, too." Return to his politeness and appreciate it. This was going to be hard, and you had to be nothing but strong, just like he said.
+++
"You didn't leave anything behind, right?" Jungkook is unloading the bags, and his other friends helping him out too. You're already at the airport. Ready at last to depart.
Adjusting your muffler, you give Jungkook a subtle nod.
Jungkook glimpses at you as he picks out the last bag and hands it over to Jimin, who's positioning them on the trolley.
You massage your cold palms together and sigh out chilly fog. And Jungkook notices you're not yourself. Comes to you. Bends over to your face. Hands on knees. Let's you meet his eyes.
You blink and he slightly smiles, "Everything okay, baby?" He asks in a whisper, concerned, and you flutter your eyes and look down, "Y-yes, sorry." Frown and try to ease yourself.
It makes Jungkook squint his brows. "You don't have to apologize."
And you look up at him and then back down at your hands clasped together, "Right. Right."
Jungkook stands up straight, clicks his jaw, hands in his pocket and eyes on you. You weren't opening up, and it was only worrying him.
"Alright, guys, you should go ahead." Namjoon zips the passport bag and shows it to Jungkook, "C'mon, you don't want to be late." He calls and Jungkook nods, looks at you and you're already directing towards them.
"So you're coming back with Y/n?" Hobi, who's sitting on the guest chair, asks to Jungkook who's keeping the passport bag with him. "Yes." He answers and Hobi nods. "Nice."
Jimin laughs, hovers his hand over Taehyung's shoulder and eyes Jungkook, "Make sure to bring Jennie along next time." And Jungkook catches your head snapped at the question.
The fact that your ears perk up and eyes go all wide at the mention of Jennie takes Jungkook to conclude that you were acting like this because it was something related to Jennie.
God. He was worried about this, too.
"I should leave." Jungkook clasps the trolley ready to leave and dismisses Jimin's request, but Jimin stops him and comes closer. Smirk. "What? Already shying away?" He teases and Jungkook deadpans.
Jin scoffs and pulls back Jimin. "Don't make it awkward, mate." He tells and Jimin just laughs it off. "I was just trying to tease, but whatever."
Jungkook shakes his head and grabs your hand, casually. "We'll get going." He notifies one last time and everyone bids their goodbyes with a little teasing here and there. Finally, letting you go.
"Come soon!" Have Yoongi yell it on your way inside before leaving their line of sight. That makes you smile. Have you waved back at him and everyone.
Until the checkout has been done and you're seated in your respective seats, there has been no exchange of conversation between you two.
Jungkook assists you in putting on a seatbelt. Tries meeting your eyes and you have your head ducked down. Half of your face dipped inside your muffler. You were sitting like a puffball and it only was making Jungkook to get you in his lap.
But of course, this was an airplane. He knows better.
Instead, pats your head and take your attention. "So cute, always, always, aren't you?" He smiles, initiates a talk, leans to press a kiss and you lift your face, have him kiss your cheeks.
Jungkook halts. Look at your pouted lips and glossy eyes. His heart quickens, making him feel anxious.
He doesn't beat around the bush this time. Grab your cheeks with his palms, squeeze them together with your lips pulled out in a pout. "Awe my baby." He coos, "Is everything alright?"
It only brings more tears to your eyes, filling the brim of your lashes. You had become so sensitive. "Did something happen to you?" He pecks your pouted lips, asks and you flutter your eyes. Still quiet.
"Did something happen between you and Tae?" He asks this. Eyes boring in yours, glancing between your lips and eyes. The question takes you aback, so you shake your head and decline.
He caresses your cheeks, and you sniff your nose. At such a sight, Jungkook breaks into a smile. Finding you too adorable. Sighs adoringly. Can never get over you.
"Then what's wrong? You don't look at yourself at all."
You stare at him, finding it hard to tell him. And he notices.
"If you don't want to tell me, it's okay."
"No, no, it's nothing like that." You immediately let out to not let any kind of misunderstanding linger. but it's still not enough ease for Jungkook yet. "Then tell me." He demands. Eyes find answers, but you just don't let him see anything through them.
"You look quiet. It's making me uneasy." He adds finally, and you shut your eyes. Nod and agree. You were only making him go all through the trouble because of you.
Keeping thoughts from him doesn't feel good to you either. But you're worried that it'll have a different approach to it.
But you have to talk. Communication. Solve this.
Taking a deep breath, you glance at him and lock your gaze. "I'm anxious Jungkook." You admit barely. Let it out. Hands clasping him. "I don't know what's held on the other side of the grass." You're fidgeting with the ring on Jungkook's finger while he just hears you.
"After we depart the airport, is what I mean."
"Yeah and?" He questions. Waiting for you to elaborate. Don't wanna come to any conclusion yet. It was dangerous.
You bite your lips in, knit your brows together and take a sharp breath. Distressingly, bring back your gaze at him. "You think it's alright for us to do this?"
Jungkook tilts his head slightly. "What do you mean?" He's confused. Tension building up a little on the assumption of what you mean. The reality hitting him right off the bat.
"Us." You say it. "Hurting everyone."
"Who's hurting who?" Jungkook replies in a whisper, and you rest your forehead in your palms and shake your head. "Jennie or Taehyung. The lies. It's gonna be painful."
He shrugs and gets what you're talking about. Knows a neutral answer to that. Tries to be as calm and as serene as possible. Agrees.
"Yeah, it was supposed to be that way since we started to date, Y/n." He confirms and you just hold your gaze at him. "And you're okay with it?"
The question gets him to frown.
"You do trust me, right?"
You shut your eyes, drop your face under your palms again, and groan. "It's not about trust, Kook."
Jungkook sits up straight. Hands on knees. Hard face with tension plastered over. It was starting to make him feel nauseous. "What is it about?"
You're throwing your hands in the air, dumping your anxious thoughts on him. "We're acting as if Jennie's just gonna give us a free pass for all of this without getting hurt at all."
"I know." He replies almost instantly. "But it's been a month. She could have a simple infatuation and by now, it must have been long gone."
"You're just simply assuming." You debate, "I've seen her. She's never been this happier with anyone but you."
Jungkook calms himself. Breathes. Hands clasped tightly. Eyes slowly turning dim. "So what are you initiating? That I date her?"
You think. Face worried. You don't know what you want to do at this point. You're thinking and the lack of an answer is only making Jungkook displeased with you.
Moving his gaze to the front, he bends, rests both of his elbows on his knees, rests his fist behind his nape, and shakes his head. Don't really wanna talk about this now.
You say no word. See him get hurt. And why was he hurt again? Because of you. You were hurting him. And you hate it. So much.
It was hurting you too, but what were you to do? It was friendship vs love and you were well aware that your choices would lead you to this, but did you even take responsibility for your actions?
Jungkook was the one handling this whole situation, although you were the one at fault for hiding the truth from him he was standing up for both of you and the least you could do was love him, but right now you were only making him tense.
"I was well aware of this the moment I decided to love you, so..." Jungkook whispers, rubbing his face before taking a deep breath and tilting his head towards you, "Don't worry about anything, I think you need some rest, Kitten." He's politely smiling at you.
In short, he was saying you needed to relax and that he's got it handled. Guess you really need to shut up and get some sleep.. Listen to him.
Jungkook wraps his palm on your fidgeting fingers and holds them firmly. Brings them to his lips. Kisses. Rests his forehead on it and sighs. "Sleep, yeah? I'll wake you up as soon as the flight lands." Smiling at you, he asks, "Okay?"
You respond to him with a hum, graze your lips on his temples, and press a kiss. Whisper a 'I love you' and rest your head on his shoulders. Wrap your fingers around his arm for support and head to rest. Rest your running brain.
He was there for you, and that is what mattered to you. You trusted him and, like he said, you were just worrying and overthinking and that he'd take care of everything. So you do rest. Hoping for things to go alright.
Everything.
+++
˚｡⋆♪ My All - Mariah Carey ♪ ⋆ ˚｡
Dark clouds cover the sky and water droplets pour mercilessly on the ground beneath you. Pooling your wet feet. Loud Thunderstorm shivering every inch of you. There's no umbrella covering you out of all the people gathered here dressed in black mourning suits.
Your feet are frozen in your place, and your eyes are devastated red. Water droplets are slipping off your long lashes, falling from your cheeks. Screams, cries, devastation, regret, and tremors all around you.
Your heart is screaming in pain. Your guts are about to tear out of your skin. Yells and horrible screams ringing in your ears.
The handbag in your hand drops into the water sprawling on the ground. Weakening you. You're about to faint. Everything turns into a blur before your eyes.
Just one scream hitting your eardrums.
Jennie's.
She's fallen on her knees. Wailing. Crying indefinitely with no means to stop. Your tears mixed up with hers and her tears aching every single vein of your heart.
She's crying over a closed coffin. Getting wet and not letting the wooden casket go yet. Not willing to move away even an inch. Or covering herself from the drenching rain. The rain poured down on her heavily. Fingers trembling and her face turned pale white.
"I'm sorry." You stutter, can't let go of the grip that's become like a knot in your throat. "I should've never left." You cry and Jennie shakes her head, eyes tightly closed and nonstops hiccups coming out.
"I- I can't accept this." She barely lets out a voice, her vocals almost swollen from all that screaming. "There's no response Y/n. Not a single word..." she's still got one hand on the wooden casket and one on your dress, tugging you and pulling you to her. Her eyes were red and wet.
You bend down, hug her and cry, sharing the same pain as her. Jennie keeps her eyes on the coffin. Lip's quivering. "He did not leave me, right?" She asks to you and you tightly hug her, bite your lips harshly.
"H-he didn't. He loves you so much."
"Then why?" Jennie lets go of the hug, gone far too bad. "Why is he not answering me, huh?" You're trying your best to stay sane too, but it's not working. At all. It's only getting worse.
"I'm so, so sorry." You apologize and she just takes one name. Continuously. Can't stop.
"Why me?" She complains to no one in particular, "Why does it have to be me who's losing everyone?" She rests her head on the coffin pathetically.
You find yourself not liable enough to answer. Just get on your knees and hold her tight.
"First mom and now dad." She finishes and you're left with nothing but overwhelming feelings that cannot possibly be compared with any pain. Worse than any kind. Hurtful than any feelings and emotions that cannot be deciphered.
♡♡♡
A/N
I thought I'd quickly publish this, but it took a hell lot of time. First, took me a lot of time to edit ( I don't know I just felt demotivated, not so good. Tried motivating myself by watching movies, reading books, webtoons, or listening to songs.) and when I finalized the version, it wasn't satisfactory at all.
( After going through all that.)
Didn't hit. Made me feel like this won't be much like an update. It was like words on paper. Not a whole other world you entered- which should be mandatory when you read something. And all that after making you all wait a week? So, deleted. Saved the good parts. Rewrote everything again. New things. New chapter. Right at that moment.
And after passing all these hurdles we're finally up with this. The next chapters are going to be very important for the MC so I didn't want this one to flop before entering the new part of the story.
So, I hope you like it.
Make sure to vote too ^_^
Until then, see you soon with the new chapter
Muahh
Amxnx