Does it Ever Get Better?

Copy & Paste

I only remember few things from that therapist.  I'm not discovering myself, I'm making myself. The other that he wanted me. A dark part of me was overjoyed by the revelation. The other more important part was that it was my job to craft the exact person I want to be. I want to be original but not in the "not like other girls" or manic pixi dream girl way. I wanted to obsess over myself someone I could love. Becuase if no one has loved me, I want to be the first.  So I scroll on media and pick the little things on pinterest that make me happy hoping that by knowing the things I liked maybe I could get to know myself. That crafting and creating this aesthetic would being me closer to my goal. I believe it has by copy and pasting myself together. I hope this works becuase the alternative is far scarier. That I'm doing this for no reason and at 20 I still dont know who I am or what makes me happy.