Days continued as it went by the same schedule. More things had been added such as learning to defend one another if a monster were to appear. Other days were being aware of each other. At this point it was a matter of time in how much longer everyone was going to last.
Each day was getting worse as people started to lose it now that the lights went out. Just great right? Luckily you weren't going as crazy as anyone else, but it started to hit you as you started to feel mentally exhausted.
You started to wonder how your family was doing. As much as they didn't want you around them anymore, it started to hurt how attached you felt to them till that day. Either way thats over now.
You washed your face hearing someone step inside. Eun-yu came in as she just scoffed looking at you. "What now?" You sighed.
"You seriously are a lot." You dried your face having a confused look. "Glad to know. Get over it."
She stood next to you, sighing, you looked at her seeing the annoyed look she had. "You look like you're having a good time here acting all tuff, but I can tell you're ready to end it all."
"... wow what a bitch for real. That's my business if I'm going through something. Im not some weak useless idiot just sitting here doing nothing." You walked passed here leaving before she spoke back.
"I just visited hyun-su. It looks like you know nothing of him. He hurted himself back then. That girl jisu and eunhyeok went to his room getting him to do something again. He's being used again."
Of course you didn't know a lot about hyun-su. Although you had small conversations with him at school, and now getting closer during this time period, you guys haven't gotten that close yet. You already knew he gone through a lot.
"So you finally figured he's being used. Whatever I know about him is because he tells me."
You left feeling annoyed by her already. Even if she was annoying you ended up bringing yourself not to hate her anymore. Everyone has there reason for being who they are unless they are just a total bitch.
You went to hyun-su room to see he wasn't there anymore. After checking in the main lobby, there were a few people missing. Walking slowly, you made to a room filled with cars. It was noisy realizing they were in car driving away from the monsters.
"Whoever is driving that car, can't drive for shit." You deadpanned looking how the car went from left to right. You looked closet to see it was eun hyeok in the steering wheel. "Well that makes sense."
They got out quickly as Mr. An came in firing all of them. "We're gonna have to speed up things." You stepped in as you started to put some type of liquid on the bullets which was more alcohol.
"Get out now!" Eunhyeok nodded at you as you started to shoot them at the right spot. They slowly started to drop one by one until one came running to you fast. "Ew what is that thing?!" You panicked not having a second to think before a knife Pierced through the monster.
Your eyes widened turning back to see hyun-su. "Hyun-su". He held your arm pulling you behind him as he pushed it more forward to the point the monster fell.
"Are you okay?" He asked as you nodded looking behind him. Suddenly you both heard a scream from a child and monster going on. "Let's go." He said as he pulled your arm with him.
You both made it to the scene, and not a second too soon hyun-su turned, as he ran to the spider looking monster stabbing it, but it got to him as it knocked him over. Hyun su didn't stop until it fully died.
For a moment he wasn't moving until he finally got up. He looked at everyone as they just stood there shocked. He turned back to normal as he walked away covered in blood. You were a bit worried for him, but maybe it was best to give him his space right now.
After that day, everyone decided that hyun su should decide for himself whether he wanted to stay in that room, or leave and have more freedom. Luckily he chose the second option. Everyone was starting to be a little more nice to him, except for the two men who still feel awkward around him.
"It sounds nice here." You walked in on jisu playing some music on a guitar she had. You sat at the last bench at the corner seeing her play some music.
"It feels really nice listening to you playing." You said as a small smile formed her face. "Is everything okay?" She looked at you as you didn't realize tears were forming your eyes.
A little moment went by as she continued to play music till hyun-su walked in. "It's been a long time since I heard music."
He sat next to her as he asked for her to play more music. As they talked ji-su played some more. Sweet home. That's what hyun su thought of the song. She was glad that he named the song.
"Im glad sweet home comforts you and y/n. She stayed here saying she enjoyed it that it made her feel better." She looked behind hyun-su as he looked behind him seeing you leaning against the wall sleeping.
"She looks at peace." Hyun su kept his eyes at you as jisu stopped playing. "It's sad." She frowned.
"What's wrong?"
"She's been going through a rough moment with her mental health for a while now." Hyunsu looked looked down upon hearing that. "Why? What's wrong with her?"
Jisu wasn't sure if she could tell him, but maybe it was best since you guys we're friends.
"She has this thing called cluster headaches. It usually happens more often in the middle of the night with pain in or around one eye on one side of your head. She hasn't gotten much sleep lately. Its been happening for years now."
"She's never said anything about it." It might've been a sensitive topic for you so maybe that's why you haven't said anything to him.
"Jae heon knows about already since they have a close sibling relationship. She told me because she felt extremely exhausted from it. I remember the first time I met her she went out to get pills for her 'allergies' but I figured just now it wasn't that since one of the symptoms was running nose and swelling eyes. If you see you struggling in some type of way, maybe help her out for emotional support." She put on a small smile as she got up.
"Get some rest." she tapped his shoulder leaving him in the silent room with you.
Hyun su couldn't help, but be a bit worried. You always helped him since meeting again. He didn't realize you were going through a rough moment.
He walked up to you seeing you were sleeping peacefully as if nothing was bothering you. He looked around the room to find a small blanket laying around. Getting it, he noticed you were in a bad posture, but didn't want to make you uncomfortable moving you so he just pushed you head near the wall. He put the blanket over your body as you were comfortable.
"Sleep well tonight." Hesitating for a moment, but, tapped your head slowly before leaving. The next day you woke realizing you ended up sleeping in. "I don't remember having this with me." You picked up the blanket folding it.
This new day must've been one of the most stressful days to come. It was told jisu had fainted due to having some type of infection in her stomach. That meant surgery was a option.
Some had to help out with jisu while others had to go outside to get some supplies. It was risky knowing some might not make it back. Some were volunteering to go as others were interfering them to go.
"I'll go-"
"No."
Everyone turned to hyun su as he interrupted you from talking which surprised you a bit. "It's not safe out there."
At this point everyone just decided on themselves who will go. Why would you want to go if there was chances of not making it back? It wasn't for being seen as a good person, but more like whatever happens now doesn't matter anymore later on. But you decided to stay this time in case of something happening inside here.
"Here's some knifes if you need them for the operation." You handed a few to eunhyeok. He took a closer look at them before noticing something strange. "These knifes are mostly used in the military. Where do you get all of these?"
"... I stole these from my dad. Use them as you need." You weren't sure if it was surprising that he noticed the difference of those knifes compared to all the others, but it was interesting.
"By the way, don't ever drive again. It looked like some drunk driver was on it."
"Was it that bad?"
"Very."
Throughout the day things went upside down as the plan was already a fail as the car that went in, flipped over. There was a huge monster outside that made it impossible to go where they needed to go. Yi kyung who had left previously ended up saving them as she distracted it with the truck she had. In the end the plan was a fail as the surgery was done.
"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." You opened your eyes as jae heon rubbed your back as he finished his prayer.
"Do you feel better now." You nodded giving him a small smile. "Thanks. I feel more restful now. By the way you shouldn't drink before praying."
"You can tell? Guess the smell gives it away." Standing up you realized he was pretty off compared to the other days and it was obvious why. "Ji su is going to be fine. She's a strong person. You shouldn't stress about it too much."
Leaving the room you wondered if she really was going to be okay. Hopefully she will. Walking around you spotted Eunhyuk leaning against the wall staring at something or more like someone.
You stood quietly behind him noticing hyun su and Eun yu sitting together by the stairs as she held his hands making a pinky promise.
"Congratulations. Your first love." His arms were crossed as eun yu was surprised. "Oh, my god, you're so annoying!" Eun yu started rambling to him as he ended up smiling a bit.
You looked down thinking it was nice seeing him talk to more people now, but why were you dissatisfied with it? You looked towards him realizing he was staring at you. You felt a lump in your throat as you tried to push it aside. You waved goodbye to him with a smile leaving the place.
Words couldn't express how you were feeling. You stopped walking midway as you slapped your face together. "Absolutely not. Now get it together." You shook off that feeling going to the same room you slept last nice. It felt nice even though it was pretty dark.
You decided to sit on the ground leaning against the wall as you looked towards the window. "Is everyone still alive?" You questioned yourself before minutes later you ended up sleeping.
That didn't last long after maybe 30 minutes later you woke up to feeling someone sitting next to you. "Oh, what are you doing here?" You sat up as you rubbed your eyes seeing hyun su.
"It's odd to be sitting on the floor if there's seats here." He was staring at the window just like how you were earlier. The moon was the only light shining from it.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He noticed you rubbing the side of your head as your eyes were getting watery.
"Sorry, it's this headache-" you gasped as the headache was getting worse. Tears weren't flowing because of crying but more like you couldn't control them.
(Cluster headaches are known to be one of the worse and painful headaches that can last around 30 minutes to 3 hours.)
Hyun su noticed you panicking as you held your head down. He didn't know well about your headaches, but he didn't want to just sit there.
He hesitated before putting one of his hand around your shoulder as his other hand held your head against himself carefully. He started to slowly tap your shoulder trying to calm you down.
"It's okay. It's okay." He repeated as it felt comforting. A little while went by as you finally calmed down. You let out sigh before lifting your face from his chest as he looked at you concerned.
"Are you feeling better?"
"I feel better. Thank you." You smiled wiping the tears away. "Sorry you had to see that."
"It's nothing bad. Jisu told me about it. Is there any medicine for that?" Well there goes from not telling anyone to hyun su knowing.
"I had some pills in my room. It doesn't always help, but it does help ease the pain faster."
"Why didn't you tell me? I can get it for you right now if you need it." Hyun su was going to move and without thinking you grabbed his arm.
"It's fine! Don't worry about them. It's not worth going through all that just to get them." You looked at him then his arm before quickly letting go.
"By the way I've been curious, if you want to talk about, why did you stop out of school?" His eyes looked down before speaking. After hearing what he said you were dumbfounded of everything. Friends betraying him, to his own family betraying him as well. Sounded pretty familiar.
"That's stupid of your family. How are you doing now?"
"Hm?"
"Beside all this happening right now, how do you feel after leaving the past?" He stayed quiet. "I think I'm starting to forget all that. I want to erase those memories."
"It'll take a while, but you got this. You did nothing wrong." Two sentences was enough to make him feel bittersweet.
"Why...did you leave school? You were gone longer before." You really never really spoke to this with anyone but jae heon. But you trust hyun su just like how he trusted you to tell you his story.
"I don't know. I really liked school as well as the friends I had. We'd take pictures together until one day I started to to realize they would post it with me cropped. After that they changed and told me a lot of times that my personality was really ugly. It was either 'you try to hard' or 'you're faking it'
I was then started to be ignored and bullied. It was sudden change making me confused and depressed. What do you do when you cry every night? It doesn't really change anything, but there are more negatives even if you try to think positively, because it's reality, sometimes it's really hard.
It went on for months and not everyone noticed it. To be honest I was so exhausted and stressed with everything to the point I really couldn't handle it anymore and ended up beating up the few people who made me hate myself. Because of that, people assumed I was in a gang. All I did was defend myself.
I wanted m a word of comfort from at least my parents. But instead of having that, they were baffling about how I should've kept quiet and mind my own business. I realized after I don't have any talent, I'm not even good at anything, I don't have any dreams, and even my family who I lived with started to fade away from me after telling them I don't want to study anymore.
I ended moving out because I couldn't handle being forced to do something i can't do and just not having them being able to help me anymore. They never ended up contacting me again after that.
After that fight someone posted it on social media to the point everyone even outside school said I was some gangster and how I fight like a man all because my features aren't as pretty as everyone else at school. I really didn't understand how it got to the point where everyone was against me. I felt betrayed. The more I heard it and looked at myself, the more I couldn't handle to love myself anymore.
I ended up becoming more sensitive with words than actions. Words stick to me like a knife to the point it sticks deep to myself. I can't handle looking at myself because I feel... disgusted at myself. I feel disgusted."
"They're wrong. Your.. pretty." You couldn't hear him put in the last sentence as he whispered it.
"...Huh?"
"You're not ugly. You fought against them to defend yourself. It doesn't matter if you fight like a man or women, you're still pretty for being yourself. Not just now, but since I've met you. You... we're always pretty. I think... they were just jealous of you."
"Wait-"
You couldn't help, but look away from him. "You have a way of saying things easily. It's just a little embarrassing for me hear stuff like that about myself. But still thank you... it makes me feel at comfort hearing words like that. Warn me next time when you say something like that though." You laughed as a small smile formed his face slowly.
"that video was spreading throughout school though. Did you ever see it?"
"I heard there was a video where a girl ended up causing a bloody fight by herself. I wasn't really interested about it." Guess he hasn't changed from back then. He wasn't ever a person to be interested in fights until his situation.
"Do you feel better talking it out?"
You nodded leaning your head back in relief. "It's been a while since I told someone about it. It feels great saying goodbye to those memories. I want to start again by healing first. After that I want to enjoy the time we have left here."
"Y/n."
You turned to him seeing him lift his pinky. "Eun yu told me this is a way of keeping promises." He held your hand close to his as you crossed pinky with him. "In the end the thumps make a kiss to end the sealed."
Each others thump ended the contract while you still wondered what he wanted to promise. "What promise did you have in mind?" You asked.
"There's two. Promise you will never return to think of your past." You looked directly into eyes seeing he was serious. "Fine. Starting today everything from the past is gone. What's the second one?"
"It's a secret."
You tilted your head slightly as he didn't say anything. "Really? That sucks. I really wanted to know." Before he could release your fingers together you grabbed his hand not letting him go.
"You have to promise to live hyun su. Even if you are a monster, you're still human. You have to take care of yourself more. If you can't do that, ask for help. I'll be the one to help you. You're the closest friend I have here and I seriously don't want to lose you."
Lowering your head you just realized you probably said one of the most embarrassing things. But in reality who knows when someone was next to die. Human or monster, he was still alive with emotions.
"I promise. You don't have to worry about me. I can heal myself." Healing himself was impressive, but was it possible if one day he couldn't do that?
"Fine, just don't do anything stupid. Letting go of his hand you realized you've been in the room talking almost all night. "It feels nice." Hyun su said as he got up.
"What's nice?"
He lended his arm towards you with a faint smile. "Having a friend like you. It feels nice being comfortable around someone like this."
Your stomach started feeling nervous as you grabbed his hand to get up. "It's been a while since I felt like that too. You should get some rest. You had a rough day today." Before leaving hyun su called you as you turned back to him.
"I was planning on starting over like you said. What would you think if I cut my hair?" He asked.
"I haven't seen you with a haircut since school. It would be nice to see you with it again. But l any hair style suits you. Get some sleep. Goodnight now." You waved to him leaving.
You made your way to the bathroom seeing the reflection of yourself in the mirror.
'You were always pretty'
"Why would he say it like that." You covered your face feeling warm. "Why would he say it like it's nothing?!" You walked in circles until you've come to the realization of something.
You looked at the mirror once more remembering what he said as your smile grew bigger. "He's nice. TOO NICE. But he's nice to everyone too. At least he expressing himself more than before. I need to get my mind straight. Maybe tomorrow if I bump into him I'll understand better what's going on. I wonder what was the second promise he made too. Why was it secret?"
Meanwhile hyun su was still in the room looking outside the window how the moon shined. "Did I sound weird saying that?" He recalled the moment when he called you pretty, your face expression changed to a nervous one.
"Really? That sucks. I wanted to know"
The second secret was something he didn't say knowing you probably won't keep.
'If I stay behind, if I'm doing something worth life taking, leave without me. Let me die and save yourself with everyone else.'
Published: March 18, 2023