1. Culmination
Ozone filled his lungs when he awoke.
Metallic and distinctive, sharp and engulfing, Midoriya cracked his eyes open to blaring white lights that sting.
He doubted it was just the lights.
A dull, painful ache, deep into the very atoms of his bones, spread to the webs of veins under his skin, the mind-blurring sensation solely and souly felt.
It was a scream hidden under the wraps of his own flesh.
His breathing piked, all the oxygen seeming to have escaped from the room, and Midoriya clung to the sheets surrounding him in a desperation- because it burned, everything that he was made of; it burned like forest fires and stars and arson and too condensed sunlight- before a gentle hand on his shoulder broke him out of his trance.
Izuku met peaceful, ozone eyes, and felt relief.
"R-Reco-" Midoriya started, before pain- more stinging and pounding than the ache engulfing his very presence- erupted inside his chest, like millions of shards piercing his skin, prohibiting his speech.
"Don't talk, child. It'll only hurt more." Chiyo chided gently, her voice cracking in between. Meeting her gaze to try find out answers, Izuku realised the absolute crestfallen state of her expression. Shadows cast over her features, and her permanent youthlessness seemed to have evaporated since the last time Izuku had seen her; the wrinkles and exhaustion on her face were accentuated but...by what?
Midoriya searched in those abyss for eyes, questions he was dying to have answers to. The pain that engulfed and ate at him was too much; more than any pain he had ever felt before. Chiyo fell to her knees, and despite Izuku's inability to help, he still flinched as if he wanted to reach for her and help her get back up. To his ever-growing well of dread, Shuzenji started to cry; sniffles at first, before tears slowly rolled down her face, yet she never let her face break, never lost the professionalism (she had been here, at the end of a hero, so many times before, and yet it never stopped hurting, never stopped the shards from her heart from becoming dust after so, so long).
'What's wrong?' Midoriya wanted to ask, the dread entangling inside of him slowly becoming fear.
He had been injured before...why was it different this time?
Why did it feel like the world was singing him an eulogy?
"You're going to die, Midoriya." Chiyo whispered, and silence filled his ears, his mind, his heart.
What?
Izuku's world crashed and collapsed into the very bed he was laying on. "I'm sorry"s filled the air, and not for the first time, Midoriya hates how hopeless those words feel.
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2. Introspection
A quirk.
The very thing Izuku had always praised and idolised was the single cause that cursed him to an early grave now.
Midoriya Izuku is the true, roughened diamond underneath Deku, an aspiring young hero. The hero that is said to lead the next generation of saviours. The hero that was to become a pillar- amongst many other pillars- that the people call trust and believe was genuine. Yet, chained to a hospital bed for the rest of his life, Izuku did not feel as if his death was even worth it.
He won't die saving people.
He won't die so someone else could live.
He is simply going to die because a young child had developed her quirk within his grasps- and Midoriya had felt so warm, hugging that smiling child with tear tracks marking her face and dust in her hair, carrying her to safety after a building collapsed- and now he will curse her with the knowledge she will be a killer.
She is just a child.
And so is he.
With his death, he will bring her suffering too; Izuku cannot even place the sadness and anger on someone with hurtful intents, cannot say that the person was cruel- the child who causes his end was as innocent as he is.
The tears run, and Izuku doesn't know if they'll able to stop again; doesn't know if there's anything that could soothe the crackling, heart-wrenching sadness in his heart.
Midoriya cannot help it- cannot help but mourn the things that will never happen, the time that he has lost even though he doesn't even have it yet. He mourns for the people he has grown to love and that he will separate from them. He mourns for the wishes he knows won't come true. He mourns for the journey he has come so far, knowing that the goal is as far as the horizon stretches, and nothing will ever get him closer.
He mourns for the small things, the large things.
But moreover, he mourns for the hope still lodged in his mind; the denial, the confusion, the desperation to just see the day where he can make his life worth it.
(Has it already come without him even knowing? Perhaps, it has, and the day has come in the form of him as he is right now, the gift in a broken box).
Izuku sobs. He sobs, because the pain coursing through his breaths remind him he is still human, still alive (it soothes the fear in him, just a little, knowing that his dying moment isn't right now, and not the moment right after. That he still has time, even though his tears remind him: not for very long.)
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3. Matriarch to a Martyr
Strangers.
Doctors and nurses, with their white, neutral clothing, walked past Izuku, occassionally checking on him but they were all just a blur in Izuku's peripheral vision. Time was an illusion- a treasured, mourned illusion- in the state of his end; it could've been a minute, an hour, or a day since Recovery Girl had helped Midoriya sit up- a torterous pressure weighing down his limbs, a vicious sizzling of his nerves- and gone to talk to his visitors but he couldn't tell. He didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want anyone to find him breaking at the seams, tearing apart the last shreds of hope in a blood-stained casket of white.
No one could save him this time.
"Izuku?" a small voice spoke, and the voice was made of fragile fractures. Midoriya's eyes watered as he refused to meet his mother's eyes, staring holes into the blank, sterile sheets of his bed. "Izuku, my love." his mother cried, collapsing into the chair beside him, and placing a gentle, warm hand on top of his own. "Please tell me it isn't true."
Midoriya couldn't speak, the words right there on the edge of his tongue, but if he said, if he said those three words that have chained him to eternal sleep, then he wouldn't be able to hide in denial.
He'd have to accept that all he's worked for- those bonds he formed from blood, those hardships he had to survive through at the sacrifices of his innocence, those strides towards the dreams he'd breathed and sung for his whole damn life- amounted to nothing in the finale.
Nothing mattered anymore.
"Izuku." his mum called again, and Midoriya finally let his viridian eyes meet her own. "It's going to be alright." Inko whispered, and the confidence, the trust she put into hope, screamed loud in the silent, solemn room. Tears rushed to break free from his eyes once again, and Izuku felt his breath hitch- even the air stung like a million bees, as if his middle-school classmates had been right, that he truly hadn't deserved to live- as he struggled to lift his arms up and embrace his mother in his arms.
"I'm scared." Izuku admitted, voice vulnerable like it hadn't been since he was four. 'I'm scared of leaving you all alone.' was unsaid, but heard all the same.
"We're going to be okay, baby. I am here." Inko smiled, despite the tears running down her face endlessly showed she was just as scared as him. But oh, how hearing those words were so much better than the 'I'm sorry's that had haunted him since childhood.
"I want-" Midoriya heaved, shoulders shuddering, "I want to be a hero. I want to be the son that will look after you for as long as I can. I want.."
He wants to live for longer.
"You already are, Izuku." Inko smiles, holding her son ever closer. "With every battle you survive, to every smile you give me, you have already shown me that you are the best son I could ever ask for."
Any other day, Izuku would've blushed profusely and laughed in adoration of his mother.
But today- and how many days does he actually have left?- he only sobs harder, knowing that whatever he's done for his mother, it hadn't been enough.
His mother will live out the rest of her days, knowing that he had abandoned her.
Was it selfish of Izuku to continue basking in her warmth, despite the cruel fate he has bestowed on her?
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4. Bonds of Blood
When his mother left to go collect some of his clothing and necessities, someone else came in. The faint floral scent of perfume was immediately replaced by the smell of burnt caramel. Izuku's blood-shot eyes flew up to catch sight of solemn crimson.
Kacchan.
'No..', Izuku thought, lips trembling despite having cried all his tears out already. Of all people, he didn't want Bakugou Katsuki to remind him of his progressing death; of all people, he wanted normalcy from Kacchan.
"Deku, you damn nerd." Katsuki turned to the ground, clenching his fists at his side. Small sparks smouldered Kacchan's palms, and Izuku could smell the faint scent of smoke slowly fill the air. "You can't just...you can't just leave," the blonde pleaded, rare tears forming.
"You're going to be a great hero." Midoriya smiled, eyes crinkling up in genuine pride. Katsuki really had come so far, from a tormentor to a true victor.
"Ha? I already am." Bakugou teased, rubbing the tears from his eyes, as he smirked in a playful manner. Sitting down at the chair Inko had just been on, Katsuki looked at the boy in front of him properly; took sight of the pale grenette in bandages, the strained sweat trickling down his face, blod-shot eyes and a god damn smile through it all. Katsuki looked, and he saw a hero.
"You shouldn't be the one to have to go." Kacchan whispered, and Midoriya shook his head gently, the smile on his face twitching.
"I don't want to go either." Izuku spoke gently, tracing the scars across his arms. Movement hurt, but these scars made him smile; a physical reminder that he had saved people.
He was dying, and Izuku wanted to sob his heart out all over again but...but there was no point anymore. He had decided, when his mother held him in her forever-loving hands, that he wanted to feel that warmth for as long as he could; the warmth of love.
Even with the end near...he wanted to treasure the days he still had, instead of the years he'll miss out on.
"It isn't any damn fair!" Katsuki snapped, the tears finally rolling down his face, as he screamed at the ground. "You've given...so much. It isn't any fair. The books always f*cking say that what you give is what you get so why-" Bakugou cried, "Why are you the one to never get what you deserve?"
Tears that Izuku thought he had run out of started to blur his vision, but he cracked out a smile. "The world isn't fair. I want you to try make it fairer; could you do that for me, Kacchan? I know you would regardless though..regardless of me."
"We were supposed to do it together." Ochaco murmured from beside Katsuki, big blobs of tears running down her face. "But I'm glad..I'm glad I met and know you, Deku-kun! You- you are my greatest inspiration and motivation and-" Uraraka choked on her words, as she gingerly went to hug Izuku, knowing it would cause him pain. Midoriya took the hug gladly, laughing affectionately. "I'm going to miss you so much."
"It's a whole party in here, hm?" Izuku smiled, looking at Tsu, Shoto and Tenya behind Ochaco's form as well. Without hesitation, the rest of his friends cuddled up to him, while Katsuki held his hand and there- it was warmth. This was what he wanted to spend the rest of his short, short days doing.
And maybe...just maybe, this showed he actually had an impact.
That his life- although short- will have been important to somebody.
Yet, it still hurts. Izuku thinks it will always hurt, knowing that he won't be there to keep going through the little and the big things with those who he loves the most.
"I am only at my fullest potential because of you." Todoroki murmured in his hair
"You saved me. We're friends, Midoriya, and it's one of the best things that have ever happened to me." Iida cried into his shoulder.
"You're special to us all, kero."
But seeing them, feeling Kacchan's warmth, seeing Ochaco's kind eyes, trusting Tenya's judgement, laughing at Shoto's genuinity, relying on Tsuyu's truthfullness; Izuku can already see the heroes in them. Izuku can already imagine how spectacular they will make it in the future; knows already, how it feels to be saved by them.
He supposes the only thing he regrets is that he cannot be with them while they do grow.
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5. Liberator of a Demure
It took a while before Eri managed to knock onto the door to Deku's room. Aizawa-sensei with the clenched fist and the nice elderly lady with tears in her eyes had warned her that Mister Deku had fallen ill, that this would be the last time she could see him because he would go to a far, far place to heal.
Eri knows that Deku-kun is going to the same place that the tall hero with glasses had gone.
And there are many things that she would like to say that she doesn't know how to- so many emotions Chisaki-sama (no, she must not remember him as her owner anymore, not anymore. No, she had Aizawa-san to look and love after her now, and he truly wanted to give her the best things in life.) had never taught her.
So when she finally knocked on the door and heard a wheezed, 'Come in!', Eri was at a lost of words.
Mr Deku sat on a pristine white bed, while some other people that Eri recognised as Deku-san's friends hung near him, with red-rimmed eyes (she wondered why). The window was open, slightly stained, cloudy-white curtains flowing in the wind, while a vase of beautifully bright flowers were placed on a little table next to Deku-kun.
"Mr Deku!" Eri cheered, running up to the grenette, "Are you alright?"
"I'm okay, Eri. Thank you for coming to see me. I'm sorry it's so bleak here." Midoriya smiled cheerfully, and Eri noticed how his eyes are also red-rimmed, but didn't point it out. Though Eri thought that the room wasn't all so 'bleak' but rather quite warm-looking, Eri put that thought aside.
"Ne, Deku-kun?" Eri asked, shuffling slightly on her spot.
"Hm?"
"I know- I know hospitals are scary.." the little girl gulped, "b-but I will help keep you safe too! Do you think...do you think that when you get better, we can go play heroes vs villains again at the park?"
Laughing, Izuku nodded and smiled, "Thank you Eri-chan. Of course, we can go play sometime." and Eri noticed tears start to treak down his face.
Eri knew, before she even learnt how to name it; she knew that it was better to let Deku-kun have those tears, that they were not bad.
"I'm glad. I'm so glad that you're free, Eri-chan." Midoriya smiled heartily, "I am so happy to see that you have already grown so much more already. I'm just sorry...I'm sorry I can't see you grow until the very end."
"No apologies." Eri shook her head, feeling tears of her own start to stream down her face- for what reason, she did not know. "Mr Aizawa says it's illo...illogeecale?"
At that, everyone chuckled softly, but Eri could tell that it wasn't mocking laughter.
"You're right Eri, it really is illogical."
The two met eyes for a long moment, and Eri sees those emerald green eyes, full of shadows but sunrises, the glow of it warm like fireplaces on a winter's day, and Eri remembers; remembers those same eyes just as it was now, on the day that Deku had saved her.
"Thank you." Eri whispers, and she hardly even knows the thoughts behind the words that spill out, but all she knows is that they are right and that they are true. "You gave me a chance. You saved me."
"You deserved it." Izuku responds back immediately, and twitches like his very muscles yearn to be able to reach out for her; reach out for her like he did on that faithful day.
And Eri lets herself crash into his arms, lets her melt into his embrace and cry; she will miss him so much, but she can only hope that the time they meet again will be soon.
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6. Conduct for Diligence
Aizawa had been here before.
Foot of a deathbed, knowing that time waits for nobody and all he can do is hope that the days left last longer.
He has been here before, yet everytime hurts just as much.
Shota walks into the room and barely hears the heart-wrenching words of his daughter- because she might as well be his daughter by now, right?- because the only sight he can process is his Problem Child on a permanent hospital bed. Wires circle around him, and a little machine constantly beeps in his ear; an audible timer of Izuku's existence.
Being in the hospital to him isn't new; he's a matured Pro Hero after all.
Witnessing death, going through the pain of it; it isn't new to him either.
And yet...it hurts all the time, to see someone with so much potential and talent and damn raw strength be stuck there. No future. No resolution.
His Problem Child, so young, so spirited. Fated to death for as long as he will remember (though, is that not true to us all?) and still smiling the whole time.
As Eri and his other students leave the room, suddenly all of the child's attention is placed on him. And how it burns- seeing those innocent, doe-like eyes stare up at him, and despite how he has failed to save his student, failed to see him fully achieve his dreams, Izuku looks up at him like he could not have done any better.
"Thank you, Aizawa-Sensei. You helped make me the hero I am today...without you, I think I would've reached death much sooner." Izuku piped, a grateful smile on his face. "I owe you whatever career I would've been able to achieve."
"You owe nothing to me, Midoriya-kun." Aizawa refutes, shaking his head. "Nothing, at all. Every single person you've saved; it is because of your own hardwork. I am proud of you. I know All Might would be too."
And that may have been the final thing he needed to hear, Izuku, to know that he had done the very best he could. That he was a hero; stronger and kinder and more loving than many could ever hope to achieve.
He lives on, in them all.
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A/N: HOLY SH*T THAT IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I HAVE EVER WRITTEN I SWEAR. IT TOOK ME SO LONG LMAO BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT.
I don't think I've ever included this many characters in a single chapter either! It was truly an angsty, fun experience and I really hoped you enjoyed reading it! By the way, to clarify anything, Izuku got hit by a quirk which caused him to have a terminal disease (if you may), and it hurt him a lot to do anything. I know I kind of stopped expressing his immense pain, and he was talking a lot, but I like to think that Izuku's crazy high pain tolerance meant he sucked it up to say his last words.
ALSO ALL MIGHT DIED BEFORE THIS FIC SO NO REACTION FROM HIM!! Izu did his best though, and r.i.p
Have a Plus Ultra day/night and here's a tissue if you cried! <3