Adriam and Victor had agreed to stay behind to watch the children, allowing Helen and Tyler to come with us, accompanied by Pascal. Once more, we were slowly building up an arsenal of people we could trust despite Helen's relapse into wondering the true intentions of her grandfather.
Verando, while upset with both of them, seemed unbothered by the decision but more so that they had acted in such an unprepared nature and had put me, and his children, in the danger of attempting to figure out if their hunch was right. Verando, if he truly were Fenrir, could have slaughtered us all if he'd been outted. I could only imagine he wanted them all closer so he could probably educate them but at the same time, our options for those we could semi trust were limited.
Much as I struggled with the thought of leaving them once more, that I feared we were out of their lives far to often, going with him in a time like this was crucial. We lacked a security blanket with Badger not turning up, we also were unaware of when Fenrir could attempt to escape again or what could trigger him.
Under it all, if I was being honest, I couldn't stand the idea of an unknown woman being to close to my husband. Not necessarily for his risk of betrayl, but her enjoyment of the persona he could perform. I wanted her to know that he belonged to me, as much as she seemed more terrified of him than entranced.
Unfortunately, the nature of my sudden decision didn't slide past him and he picked up on my tension. While he kept his disappointment to himself, it didn't cease to put a chill between us and I had yet to find a good time to reassure him that I was only attempting to sooth my own concern. I wanted to be here, I needed to be here, my body didn't belong to me and I had to stay close to the one who owned it.
My research into a 'heat cycle' was minimal. Dogs only had two seasons a year, while women were monthly and we couldn't necessarily compare that to what I was experiencing. With so few female lycans, there was no base line as to why this was happening or how to go about it. It seemed entirely fabricated, only confirmed by Adriam discovering the void within me that we couldn't confirm until I had had surgery.
I needed time to ask Helen, it hadn't truly come up in our few moments alone. It had also occurred to me that Helen had yet to get pregnant, was it because she was careful? Or was she actually infertile?
Adriam also had his reservations, though he'd kept his opinions to himself as he seemed to pick up that I hadn't discussed much of this with Verando. The thought of being expected to go through this as often as my body felt it neccessary for the rest of eternity was mentally taking it's toll on my inner self who could only focus on the intoxicating scent of my warlord. I was finding it difficult to separate myself from it, to pull back from the desire and the need to act upon that desire.
At least nature wasn't unusually cruel, not just any man would do for my body only had eyes for Verando. I remembered feeling this way when i was first 'reborn'. The scent of him and getting used to this new body, I couldn't be within the same room as him without wanting to hurt him or wishing to jump his bones in one form or another.
By the time line of the last cycle, I would only have two more days before I would be out of my mind with desire. Doing my best to document, I tried to keep a journal and recall the events of the last time this occurred as well as a time line. Adriam assured me he'd at least help me figure it out as far the data I gathered would allow us.
Our first few stops were in Tennessee which soothed my nerves slightly, Nashville was a large musical hub and was only a short few hours from our children should we need to return for any reason. With Darrius upset with Verando for the time being, hopefully we wouldn't be followed by a small unicorn child.
The point of this was not only to go on tour, to provide for our family, but to track police presence with his warrant still active England. We needed those who were against us in the states to reveal themselves, wherever the police were the most difficult, we could only assume it came from government pressure. From there, we could begin to dissect Senators and Congressmen.
Senator Campbell had already made it known he was in our state, while the news wasn't actively reporting on it, I was curious to see if he'd follow us on our tour to cause mischief. If the state did not wish to protect us, then perhaps it was the wrong place to raise our family. This was all secondary into the reveal of other wordly entities attempting to reveal themselves. We would be passing through the desert in which Anubus was spotted, Tiberius was intent on at least paying the spot a visit.
It would be in his own interest to discover if he would be safe, a god could kill a Siren quite easily.
"You seem distracted." Verando comments from somewhere in the room. Blindfolded, I can't track him, I can only gasp in shock as I realized I'd momentarily blacked out from the intensity of the session. Only to be reawaken, thrown back into the depths of passion at his desire.
We had only two hours from the first concert, with my body threatening to go thermo-nuculear if I didn't get some relief I was clawing at the walls to get some sort of access to him. My requests and pleading had only gained me torment, for he was still upset with me in some regard. At least, he was refusing to touch me. With a toy strageticially placed inside of me, I was at his mercy without even being graced with his touch.
It was a cruel place to be, given that I desired and craved all of him. At his command, I was to control myself while the interogation took place. Yet, I was hardly keeping it together. My wolf attempted to help, allowing me to hide in the depths of my mind, but I was failing miserably for my intentions weren't even being accurately portrayed. I battled with correcting him and allowing the punishment, for it did help to soothe some of the ache.
With my face in the pillow, bare ass in the air, blindfolded by a silk scarf and bound with my hands behind my back with his tie, I was his to torment how ever he saw fit.
"Remember you're not allowed to make a mess of those pants, I full intend to make your wear them, stained or not." He reminds me, making my legs tremble as I feel the intensity of the inserted toy begin to rise again. The vibrations hit my most sensitive area's reach new heights of pleasure, arching my back it's difficult not to fall over and curl up into a ball.
With a small chuckle, he turns it down again from a remote in his hand. How long had we been doing this? Minutes? Hours? I don't know how much more I can take. "Can I ask what you're punishing me for? Shouldn't I know my crime?"
The silence that follows makes me weary, I feel his hand smack my ass, my body tenses with excitement that he had come close once more. "Did I say I was punishing you? What if this is just for my own enjoyment? I enjoy seeing you squirm, isn't that why you decided to come along? I'm taking the opportunity for you to entertain me." He smacks me once more, turning the vibration up and making me whimper lower in my throat.
I curl my toes, crossing my feet as I attempt to hold myself together. "Legs apart." He demands, taking no mercy on me. The embarrassment of being exposed, of being so painfully hard, my body was on fire as I picture him devouring me with his eyes. Was he bored? Or was he as hungry for me as I was for him?
"I came because I love you." I retort, gasping as he smacks my ass again. "I wanted to make sure you were safe." I yelp as his hand claps against the other cheek, panting, on the edge of what I could take. I couldn't hide from him this time, I was to close.
"Is that truly the reason?" He insists, irritated. "Are you sure you weren't motivated by other factors?"
"Yes!" I plead, moaning as my body reacts to the toy.
Verando turns the intensity down, leaving me squirming and panting, sagging my chest to the bed as I attempt to get my bearings. "Look at you, you're soaked, perhaps this is the profession you wish to have if you're undone so easily. I'm wasting my time trying to find you a real job."
"Only for you." I manage, gasping at the roughness in which he presses his hand to the base of my neck, pushing my face into the bed. I knew if I wanted him to give me what I needed, I needed to play harder than this, but it was difficult to think straight with the mercilous nature of his play. "I want a real job!"
"What will you do when this happens? You can hardly stop from coming." His fingers plunge into me, making me cry out as I struggle to keep still. Fighting the urge to rock against his fingers or fight to get away, warding off my impending completion. "How can you control yourself when you're begging to be had, how can you expect me to let you out of the house when I know what a whore you can be?" He pushes the vibrating toy deeper, my body is at it's limit as I struggle to remain on my knees.
"Because I love you!" I beg, "I'd come find you, I'd think only of you and take care of it myself, please, I can't take it anymore." My cheeks feel wet, I pant heavily as I near the edge. We hadn't played like this in so long, I was out of practice and in my current state, my wolf was not impressed with holding back.
"You'd find me yet you can't handle a little discomfort." He challenges. "I've hardly touched you."
"Randy.." I plead, a pathetic moan at the ache in my stomach. He stops, leaving me gasping as the vibrating ceases.
"Is it fair?" The question is harsh, making me flinch. "Is it fair that I expect you to fail? That you try your hardest to please me and it's still not good enough? I can't punish you for something you haven't done."
My face falls, I sniffle against the pillow, "No." I manage. "But... I don't understand. That's not what this is." I'd hurt him with my suspected decisions, I'd asked him time and time again to not run from me, I suppose this is what his raw rage looked like.
"Everytime I've acted against you, much as it hurts me to my core to admit, it has been my decision. Everything I do in those moments is my decision, so agreeing to come with me on a tour because a woman has joined this band is-" Hesitating, I hear him run a hand through his hair. "I don't need a babysitter, Nicolas."
I remain silent as his hand leaves my neck. In a quick move, he unties my wrists and I flop onto my side in a heap of emotion and oversensitivity. Reaching up, I slowly remove my blind fold, seeing him sitting beside me on the bed. "I'm sorry, I should have been more clear with why I chose to come. It helped me to decide... but it wasn't the main reason for coming with you."
Wrinkling his nose just slightly, he doesn't look at me as hekeeps his politicians face. White long sleeve with the top buttons left undone, coupled with a vest that accentuated his waist, he was dressed for the concert because no doubt he'd intended to torture me until the last second.
I adored the man in a vest, that was how he lured me into this cruel act in the first place, yet I curse at myself that I forced it to stop in an attempt to remedy this before he dwelled on it further.
"I think you should go back home." The words are a shock, we were only one stop in and already he was ready to be away from me. Was this a punishment? Or was this him running from me?
"No." The words come out before I can stop them, his eyes meet mine and I glare right back at him. "Take it out on me, punish me, do what you have to do but that's not what either of us want and you know it. You don't have Badger to help you, that means you're stuck with me. I'm not leaving you here to do this on your own. That was the main reason for me to come with you."
"Not that you think I'm going to fuck that woman?" He spits back, standing as I grab his wrist. He attempts to twist free, yet I hold onto him for now we are much more evenly matched. Much as he had already 'healed', his body was still sore from his fight with Tyr. "Nicolas, I'm warning you, let go of me. Now."
"I'm jealous, asshole!" I snap back, flashing my teeth as I stand. My pants around my ankles, it was a hard time to be stern but it was the moment that I had. "I'm still clawing my way back to your good graces, I'm still trying to fix what's broken between us while giving you space to deal with this shit." Gesturing to all of him, he rolls his eyes dramatically and I yank him closer to me.
Gritting his teeth, I can only growl back at him. I was an Alpha in the making, he couldn't choose when he belonged to me much as I couldn't do the same. "I'm jealous of how you looked when you sang with her. I know it's pretend, I know it's the front you put up when you have to, but I miss it all the same." I manage, groaning in embarrassment as I shove away from him to yank my pants back up.
The hormones were talking, I was out of my mind, but it still didn't stop me from wanting him to see how I was feeling. He needed to be more gentle with me, I needed grace, I was breaking in half from the inside with the flurry of desire and discomfort. I was just trying to convey to him that sending me home at this point was a cruel and unusual punishment. The thought made my chest tight, my stomach twisted into knots.
I would miss him terribly, my wolf insisted that we might not survive the time apart.
"Do you truly think this is from not wanting you? That I don't want to deal with what you're going through?" Verando's words stop my spiraling.
"I know it's a lot. This is a lot and I know we haven't talked about the repercussions of what could happen acting on these impulses." Had I told him? In the chaos of everything, had I mentioned to him that I had been with something that might have been a child? "Please don't send me away. I'll sleep in a different room, I'll do whatever you need from me, but don't send me back."
With a short exhale, he steps back into me, taking my hand to slide his arms around me and hug me to his chest. Burying his nose in the red depths of my locks, he takes long and slow breaths as he waits for my pounding heart to subside. "We're both emotionally spent, darling, and I've left you alone with this side of things. Gods, I don't even know who I am anymore some days. I don't blame you for worrying-"
I stop him by gripping the chain around his neck, yanking him roughly down to me to crush my lips to his. The snarl from the chain biting into his skin but the ferociousness in which he attacks my mouth succeed in providing me with the neccessary encouragement.
"I'm not worried. She's not your type..." I sigh against his lips, "And I know Marisol was an exception. I'm just jealous, I want every ounce of your time and if I could keep you from ever having to go on that damn stage again I would. I hate this, I hate not having money, I hate that I'm reliant on you and all this pressure is on you."
Verando scoffs, brushing his nose against mine, "It's not bad, beats being a slave... it's nice to be a provider from a less illegal perspective, I think of it more as a novelty than a punishment. I like providing for you, for the boys, it's fulfilling. I'm just exhausted."
The honesty was enough to draw me away from the brink of falling apart. I kiss him once more, holding his jaw with my palm, capturing his lips over and over again every time he attempted to break the kiss. "How do you like me at all?" I laugh sadly. "Beats being a slave... Randy..." I sniffle sharply as he kisses my forehead. "I'm complaining about not being a prince and you-"
"You really are emotional." He murmurs, making me swat his chest as I wrap my arms around his waist. "I might have went a touch far, I'm not used to this side of you. It's really alright, darling. You being jealous of me spending time with another person is nothing to be ashamed of, I misread the situation."
"Next time- just- ask me." I sniffle, hugging him tight enough to make him grunt. "You look really incredible- in this vest- and I can't- enjoy it." I seem to have completely caught him off guard, not having expected the tears and hysterics, the regret on his face for the cruelty of tormenting me was enough to send me into a whole new wave of sadness. "Please don't think I don't want you- to- play with me."
Blinking back his surprise, he captures my face in his hands, brushing away my tears with his thumbs. "I need to be more mindful of your mindset and not put you in this situation when I have to leave for a few hours. I also need to take out the toy-"
Shaking my head, I wrap my arms around him once more. "I want to keep going."
"Darling, we have to get going. I really didn't think this through."
Shaking my head again, I peer up at him. "Keep the remote, every time you think of me, I want you to let me know. That way, I'll be ready for you when you're done. I want you to see you thinking of me, wondering if I'm able to control myself or not, guessing how many times you've brought me to completion." His cheeks flush, I can't help the small giggle at his expression.
Kissing me once more, savoring the slow contact of our lips, he sighs heavily and I feel his arousal pressing against me. "What a vivid imagination."
"I'll try not to text you to many dirty pictures." I manage.