lets see how long this one takes :) (start:12/23)
love u guys <3
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nova
3:28 pm
3 Months Later...
"ROBB...STOP" I yell breathlessly in between laughs. I had been sleeping up until this point and he came in the room, jumped on top of me and now he won't stop tickling me.
"not until you get up and come with meee" he says, continuing to torture me.
" to....come..... where?" I say, trying to catch my breath in between laughs and words.
" just agree." He pauses, threatening to continue tickling me, raising his eyebrows.
"OKAY, OKAY, i'll come." I reply defeatedly before rolling over to the opposite side of the bed getting up and walking to the bathroom.
"and bring your notebook." he says before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.
|about a week ago|
"what's this?" Robb asks, holding up a black and white speckled compitistion notebook.
I glance over at him from the tv, and quickly look away.
"It's nothing."
He moves to stand in front of the TV, blocking my view.
"It doesn't really seem like nothing.. it was hidden.." he says, tossing it onto the bed in front of me.
I sigh, grabbing it and flipping through the written pages.
"sometimes...when i get overwhelmed, i like to write. poems, songs. it's not that great and its actually kind of embarrasing....now can you move?" I answer, trying to dismiss the subject.
"Nova, what the hell are you talking about? This shit is good." he exclaims, sitting on the edge of the bed, facing me.
I try to force back smile and I look down, playing with my nails.
"you think so?" i say, clinging on to his every word.
"fuck yeah." he moves closer towards me, placing both of his hands on each side of my body. essentially hovering over me.
"we need to get you in a damn studio, I know somebody will sign you with this" he finishes, pressing his lips against mine.
***
I close the door behind me, turning on the shower, undressing and stepping in. I let the hot water run down my body, getting my hair wet in the process. After being in the shower for about 30 minutes, I get out. Wrapping the towel around my body walking out of the bathroom and sitting on the bed. I scroll through my phone for a few minutes before robb walks back into the room holding a lit blunt. He holds it out towards me and I happily take it from him, putting it to my lips and inhaling as much as my lungs let me before exhaling, and handing it back to him and standing up.
"what should I weaaarrrr?" I ask, standing in the closet.
"something that covers every important aspect, toes included" he says, amusement laced in his voice.
I straight face him, rolling my eyes jokingly.
"ha ha, you're actually hilarious." I respond while still sifting through the hanging clothes in the closet, finally settling on a black bra, covered by a black hoodie, paired with black leggings and a pair of orange fur Ugg slides— mostly abiding by his requests.
" you save this for me?" I say, sitting next to him carefully taking the unlit blunt and the lighter from his lap.
he nods, rapidly texting on his phone. I put it to my lips and lighting it, inhaling once again and exhaling, doing that about 7 or 8 more times until it's gone.
Once i'm done, robb locks his phone, locking his bloodshot eyes with mine, before slightly smiling.
"you ready, pretty girl?" he asks, patting my leg.
"mhmm" I hum, standing up from the bed, grabbing my bag, stuffing my notebook in it, following him out the door.
*****
"so just sing what you wrote...it's that simple." Robb says to me through the glass that's separating us.
He made me get up and come to, you guessed it. a studio. It's just me and him here and I feel so nervous and I don't know why.
"I'm tryingggg" I whine towards him, fixing the falling headphones on my head.
he leans back in his chair, rubbing his jaw. messing with some buttons on the audio board.
"I know baby, just..." he pauses, "do you want a drink? you think that'll help?" he asks, pulling two styrofoam cups out of a package, double cupping them before pouring an ounce of codeine, an ounce of vodka and filling the rest of the cup up with ginger-ale. a concotion i've seen him make only a few hundred times before for himself.
I've tried to shy away from that drink, as it does nothing good to him. I guess he likes the way it makes him feel, but I hate the way he acts on it.
I shake my head, taking a deep breath before lookin over the lyrics in my notebook.
"no i'm good. lets do it again." I answer.
he shrugs, taking a sip of the drink before starting the music
I close my eyes and let myself drift.
a/n- if u know this song, i owe u a kiss. (song in mm)
"Caught me at the right time, baby, oh
I was at the edge, I was at the end
Made me feel like there is life worth living
Made me feel alive, oh-yeah
Tell me I'm a sign
Baby, where would I be without your love beside me? Oh
Baby, where would I be? Probably gone, oh'
Cause it feels like CPR
'Cause it feels like CPR
Mmm, make me love again like
Notice I can't stand you, oh
I don't wanna talk about it
But no one understands me, no
You're the only one I confide into, darling, oh
I don't even need to lie to you, babe
Place your love on all my pain
How you mince my heart, oh, darling
Everything I've done you knew, you known
I ain't really never had a home
Damn, I really hate feeling alone
Maybe you can make me feel at home, baby
Hate feeling alone
Hate feeling alone, baby, oh
I hate feeling alone
I hate feeling alone, baby
I need you here at home, baby
You're the only one who knows
You're the only one who knows
I finish the song and I open my eyes and the first thing I see is robb staring at me in awe.
"I knew you would fucking body that shit." He exclaims, standing from his chair, leaning against the board.
I breathe a sigh of relief, smiling slightly at his celebratory demeanor.
"you wanna lay another one?"
feeling all too confident in myself, i decide to do a second one.
"let's do it " He smiles happily at me, giving me another R&B type beat.
"when you're ready babygirl." He says.
In a perfect world
You're understanding, I'm not a perfect girl
I would drop my fears at the door
I would only bring myself and nothing more
And you let me be, a woman
And you let me be, a flawed woman
You would yearn to hear all about my past
What I've done, what I've did
And why, hear all my sick thoughts
And if I needed to, I could cry
And you would catch my tears
You don't wanna be nobody else's play, (no) ayy (no)
You don't wanna be nobody else's play, to hide from themselves
Shame
And I'm the one to blame
You see right through me
You see through the smile
You see straight through me
You push past the lies, oh
You got it baby
"I fucking love that one. The emotion?damn. " he says as I come out the booth, grabbing me by my waist.
"I did some editing on the first one. You wanna hear it ?" he asks, sitting down in the chair, pulling me on his lap.
I nod, wrapping one of my arms around his neck, playing with the multiple chains around his neck as he starts the music.
I lean my head against his, listening to a soothing but unknown voice come through the speakers of the studio.
"ROBB!" I say excitedly
'yeah baby?" he answers, but it comes through muffled as his lips are pressed against my neck.
"ROBB!" I scream again.
"mhmm." he hums, lips still inching all over my neck.
"this sounds so good. I can't believe this is me." I say, pressing replay on the song.
"believe it. It's all you." he says, finally lifting his head up, grabbing his drink and finishing the rest of.
"So what do we do with it now?" I ask.
"well, I know a few people in music publishing. Im gonna send it to them, see what they can do with it." he starts, " but in the mean time, i'm thinking of ways of doing you." he finishes.
"hmm?" I question, messing with the buttons and knobs on the audio board in front of us.
I purposely try to shy away from the topic. me and robb have been in this situationship thing for about a 3 months and we haven't had sex. I know he's getting restless, waiting on me but I can't help it. Thinking about how bad i'd be at it, or if my body is pretty enough. we have moments like these at least twice a week, but it ever goes any further, on my account.
"you heard me." He says, grabbing my arm from the computer, pulling my other leg to the other side of his body so that i'm straddling him. He wraps his arms around my waist, rubbing his hands along my sides, underneath my hoodie.
"no I didn't, say it again" I say, teasing him, connecting my arms together behind his neck.
he leans his head against my chest groaning softly.
"see, you doing it on purpose now." he says, looking up at me.
" I don't even know what you're talking about"
"no?" he says, untying my hoodie from the top, pulling it over my head.
"mmm-mmm" I hum, shaking my head, just barely.
"hm," he starts, placing soft kisses on my chest, "can I show you then?" he finishes, snaking his hands up my back, unclipping my bra in the process.
i nod slowly, cupping his face in my hand, pressing my lips against his, instantly feeling him kiss me back. He stands up, picking me up with him. Instinctively, I wrap my legs around his waist as he walk us over to the couch. Breaking the kiss, he hovers over me, staring down at my body. He reaches down placing his hands at the top of my leggings pulling them down slightly.
"I can take these off?" he asks, already knowing the answer.
I nod, locking eyes with him as I kick off my shoes and lifting up some as he peels my pants off of my body. he leans down in between my legs, placing his lips against my stomach.
I can feel him breathing against my skin and it gives me goosebumps and I shiver lightly, crossing my arms across the upper part of my chest in order to hide what I can of my exposed body.
"you're body is so beautiful." he says, as if on cue.
he begins kissing my inner thighs, pulling my panties down and from around my legs, throwing them behind him. He runs he's fingers against my slit, pressing his middle finger against my entrance making me flinch slightly.
"you okay?" he asks, pushing his finger a few centimeters deeper into me, starting into my eyes, instantly making me nervous as it always does.
I nod once more, unable to articulate any sounds, or words.
he nods in agreement, placing soft kisses on my clit before pressing his tongue against it making me let out a breathy moan as a reaction. He slowly slides his finger in and out of my as he softly sucks on clit, making me tilt my head back, closing my eyes.
"robb.." I whisper, just barely
"hmmm?" he hums against my center, instantly making me lose all thought in my head.
"I...mmmmm." I start but get cut my own self off . Exhaling slowly, I start my sentence again.
"I..I think im r..ready.." I eventually get out, mentally preparing myself for his next moves.
As soon as i get the words out, he stares at me for a few seconds as if he's debating something before pulling down his shorts along with his boxers. I watch him intently as his penis springs out of his underwear, i stare in awe.
"okay wait...i've never done this before." I blurt out in a panic.
I don't like to exagarate, so I wont. If I had a ruler right now, he would be topping it. I would probably need two just to measure him appropriately. Thats how big it is, and he wants to put it inside of me, but i'm almost positive that if it doesn't tear me apart, I at least won't be able to walk for the next week, week and a half to be sure. So maybe I like to exaggerate...so what.
he chuckles as he grabs both my legs, holding them up on the sides of him, positioning himself at my entrance.
"i know love." he replies, "I promise i'll take my time."
he takes one of his hands off of my legs, taking himself in his hands, pressing his tip against my entrance, slowly inching his way inside of me.
i squeeze my eyes shut as I reach up and grip his arm, squeezing it so tightly that i'm probably leaving bruises, but I don't care.
I breathe out, realizing that i've been holding my breath since he entered me.
"fuck..it's gripping the hell out of me." he mumbles, still inching deeper inside of me, with each inch, I squeeze him tighter letting out pained cries.
just as i thought it would, it felt like he was ripping me apart, but it started to feel... good. Eventually he gets the whole thing inside of me, he stays still inside of me for a few seconds before pulling out and sliding inside of me again.
he pulls me by my legs so that i'm closer to him as he speeds up his pace. With every stroke I get louder which I think is fueling him.
I wrap my arms around his torso, pulling him down towards me so that we're chest to chest.I moan loudly in his ear as I feel him kiss the side of my neck.
"r..robb..baby...I can't.." I whine in-between long strings of moans as I drag my nails on his back out of mostly pleasure.
"yeah?..just tell me what you need princess." he whispers into my ear.
My words get caught in my throat as soon as he says that. A feeling that I can't describe washes over me and I unwrap my legs from around his waist, squirming as I try to push him away, while simaltaneously needing more. He sits up, pushing my knees towards my chest as he more or less, plows into me.
"you cumming yet?" he asks as I reach up and wraps my hand around the side of his neck, digging my nails into his skin, potentially leaving more marks.
I scoot my body back, trying to get out of his reach feeling my body start to convulse as he pulls me back onto him, hitting a spot inside of me that makes everything 10x more intense.
"cum for me baby." he says, and as soon as he says that, it sends me over the edge. I curl my toes letting out the loudest moan that i never thought I could, creaming all over him and possibly the couch as I feel him twitch inside of me before letting himself release inside of me with a loud groan.
I feel Robb lay on top of me and I wrap my arms around him, keeping my eyes closed.
"you okay?" he asks kissing the side of my face.
"i love you." I say, ignoring his question.
"I love you too baby."