The halloween party was all anyone could talk about around here.
It was this weekend already. The weeks were flying by of this semester and I couldn't believe it. Pretty soon it would be Thanksgiving and then we'd only have about three weeks left before our bigger break.
But this was my favorite time of year. The leaves changing colors, the brisk air, the decorations that accentuate each persons house. It all makes me happy. Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. It allows you to dress up as someone you want to be for a day. It gives you an escape from your life for just a night. But it also gives people an excuse to get obliterated.
I beep the horn twice when I get to Jaeda's. She comes running out seconds later, like she was sitting by the door waiting for me. Her wallet was tightly grasped in her hand, as she practically dances down the steps. We both liked Halloween. Even as kids we had to have best costumes when we went out trick or treating. Once she gets to my car she pulls the door wide open and hops in quickly.
"Wow it's cold," She breathes out, pulling her jacket closer to her body. I see her twist the knob to blast the hot air. "Thanks for picking me up."
"Sure," I tell her. She didn't live too far away from my house. "Where are we going again?"
"Forks, there's a small halloween shop there." I nod and start backing out of her driveway. "We have to pick up Eden too."
"Okay," I say. I start driving in the direction of her house. The party was in four days, so I really hope that the costumes aren't picked over. We'd have to get something lame then, and I know none of us want that.
"So what do you think about angel and devil costumes for us?" She asks, tapping her fingers to the beat of the song. "Seems cute, right?"
"Isn't everyone going to do that?" I ask, taking a turn down Eden and Embry's road. Angel and devil did sound good, but as a back up decision maybe. "I don't want to be one of like ten angel and devils there."
"Yeah," She agrees. "Maybe we should think of something else."
"Does Eden wanna do something with us too?" I didn't want her to feel left out if she wants to be included. I beep the horn twice again, telling her that we were here.
"She told me she didn't want to do angels or anything like that. Because I suggested Charlie's Angels at first and she said no," She says. "But we can ask again if she wants to do a group costume."
I watch Eden walk out the door, shaking her head at something. I notice that her cheeks were a reddish color, but not because it was cold out. Probably because she was angry.
Jaeda hops out, pulling back the seat so that Eden could get in the backseat. Once they both get in I hear her let out a frustrated sigh, and my eyes go straight towards the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glued closed as she rests her head against the headrest.
"You okay?" Jaeda asks.
"Yeah, Embry and I got into a big fight," She says while sighing again. She reopens her eyes and meet mine in the mirror. "It was over the party, he doesn't want me going. Any of us really."
"That's really stupid," I say, backing out of the driveway. "He's never acted like this before."
"I know," She says, "I tried to tell him that we're not scared little freshman anymore. You guys are juniors and I'm a sophomore, so we're allowed to go out and have fun."
"Right," Jaeda agrees. "Why's he suddenly so protective?"
"I don't know," She says, "But it's fucking annoying. His anger is getting so bad that I feel like he's changing into someone else."
"Jake's anger's bad too," I tell her. "It's like a switch flips. I get it."
"Yeah," She says with a nod. "It's not, like, Paul Lahote bad, but it seems to be getting there."
"Speaking of Paul Lahote," Jaeda says, sitting up in her seat. "Wait, sorry, are you done talking about your fight? I didn't mean for that to sound insensitive."
"Yeah, I'm good. I need a distraction anyway," Eden says.
"You're sure?" Jaeda asks.
"Positive."
"Okay, speaking of Paul. We moved past how he knew Josie's name very quickly the other day. He did say your name, right? Or did I hear that part of the story wrong."
"No he said her name, he was like 'Josie, right?' or something like that," Eden says. "It was almost like he asked around about her or something."
"Yeah, it does sound like that."
"Who cares about if he knew my name or not?" I say while taking one of the corners slow.
"Hello! He's Paul Lahote," Jaeda says. "Most popular guy in school, easily the hottest guy as well, and he knew your name." Should I tell them that we talked Saturday at the beach?
"You're so dramatic," I tell her. "But can I just have silence for like two seconds? And then we can go back to talking about him?"
No one says anything as we drive around the sharp corners. I keep my foot on the break, just in case anything were to happen. It wasn't snowing, but it's just so hard to see around these dark corners. Anything could come flying around it and you would never know.
My pulse was racing, I could feel my palms grow sweaty from gripping the wheel hard. I was not meant for driving, and that's why I normally didn't. But I knew I had to get over my fear of driving around these corners eventually.
"Do you want me to drive?" Jaeda asks quietly. "I didn't even think about these turns, Josie, I'm—"
"—It's okay," I tell her. "I'm fine. Really."
We eventually get around the corners safely, and I let out a small sigh of relief. My anxiety while driving eats me up if I let it. Even while I'm not driving it gets to me. I glance over at Jaeda as she gives a small reassuring smile back.
"Sorry," I say, "I'm usually really good about driving around there." That wasn't true. But I felt like a bother.
"It's getting dark, it's, completely normal to get anxious," Eden says from the backseat. "One of us can drive on the way home, if you want. It'll be pitch black by then."
"Or we can take a different way home."
I had this control thing when it came to driving. I had to drive if it wasn't Jake, I really only trusted him at times because I knew he would be careful. I love my friends, and I would trust them any time over anything. Well anything besides driving. And it's nothing against them I'm sure they're great drivers, but I can't risk it.
"It's okay," I say, "I should be okay. I just like to take those turns slow when it starts to get cold."
"Completely understandable," Jaeda reassures me. "We're almost there anyway."
I start to feel like I ruined the mood. My anxiety starts to eat away at any rational thought that entered my head about the situation. I push my lips out as I keep my eyes on the road.
I eventually pull into the parking lot and turn off the car. I stare at the steering wheel for a couple of seconds before I see Jaeda look over at me in confusion.
"I'm sorry if I made this weird," I tell them. "I didn't mean to—"
"Hey," She stops me. "Don't be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for J."
This is why I don't like to open up about this stuff. I've always hated talking about my feelings because it always made me feel weird after. Like I was bothering other people with my problems.
I open the door, not saying anything else as I put the key in the door to lock my car. I run a hand through my hair, folding my arms across my chest. Eden stops me before I could walk further out between cars.
"Do not beat yourself up about this, okay? It's completely normal to be upset and to have these feelings about what happened okay?" She says, holding onto my arm.
"I just feel like a bother," I say softly. "Any time I open up. I get that it's stupid, I do. But I feel weird to have these feelings."
"Your mom got in a car crash there, Josie. It's completely normal to feel how you feel," She reassures me. I take a deep breath in as I look over her shoulder. I know it's normal. But it doesn't feel normal.
"Exactly," Jaeda says, appearing at my other side. "You're allowed to feel the way you do. So don't try to push that away because you feel like you're a bother. Because you're not."
I nod, looking between both of them. They both send me small smiles, and I bring them into a hug.
"I love you guys," I tell them.
"We love you too," Jaeda says in my ear. I sigh, before letting go and sending them smiles.
"Let's go in, before I start to cry," I joke and they both hook onto my arms. That feeling never passes by quickly, but I sure got good at pretending like it did. I search my head for something to talk about. "What are we thinking this year, did you want to do a group costume Eden?"
"If you want to," She says, ducking her head so the fake cob webs don't hit her. "I'm good with anything."
"Well you weren't good with Charlie's Angels," Jaeda says, "And that was kind of unique. All black outfits and we'd need to buy fake guns."
"I guess that could work," Eden says. "I'm looking to spend close to nothing."
"Well hopefully they'll have that," I say. "It's a small shop, it's not like one of those big chain ones in Port Angeles."
"Let's split up and see what we can find, okay?" Eden says, and we both nod. We check all over the racks and the back walls.
After about fifteen minutes I was ready to give up. This was a second hand store, where people could sell back some halloween costumes that they didn't want anymore. Usually it takes hours to search through this stuff. It's never organized and you only get lucky sometimes. I search the store to see Eden shake her head, as if she didn't have any luck either.
"Found them!" Jaeda shouts from across the store. People turn to look at her, giving her a dirty look. Eden and I chuckle, walking over to her to see that she had found simple black pistols, I'm assuming. "Perfect, right?"
"You sure those things aren't real?" Eden asks, gently taking one from her hands. "They look, like, the real thing."
"Isn't that the point?" Jaeda asks.
"I bet they are real, maybe they're some kind of murder weapon and they just dropped it off here," Eden says. "This would be a perfect spot to hide it."
"Who's the dramatic one now?" Jaeda says with a laugh. She flips the gun over, showing the front side of the gun to us. "There would be a serial number here if it's real."
I take the gun from her, and it felt like it weighed practically nothing. I look back up at Eden with a smile on my face.
"It also feels like plastic."
"Okay! I clearly don't know what guns feel like, sue me," She says with her hands up. We all laugh. She puts the gun back down in Jaeda's hand. "That'll work."
"How much are they?" I ask.
"Ten bucks each," Jaeda says with a nod. "Good deal."
"Let's get them then, do we need anything else?" Eden says. "Besides the clothes."
"No, we just wear leather."
"I don't have leather," I tell them, "Or, anything for a party really."
"Girl you really don't think I wouldn't let you borrow any clothes?" Jaeda asks, "You know I've got everything under the sun."
"Nothing too revealing?" I ask.
"We'll see," She tells me. "Come on let's go check out!" I roll my eyes playfully as she walks away from the two of us. We follow her to the cash register and each pay for our own fake gun.
"I'm so excited for this," Jaeda says. "No one's going to be Charlie's angels. We'll be the hottest ones there without looking crazy. You know? Like when did a mouse become sexy? Aren't they like, rats?"
We both chuckle, "No I don't think so." I push open the door, and smash into someone's chest. I feel pain radiate through my head, touching the side of it as I do. I look up, opening my mouth to apologize when I notice it was Paul.
"We keep running into each other like this," He says with a blinding smile. "Is it my turn to say sorry again or yours?" Sorry again. He's funny.
"Mine, probably. I'm really clumsy," I tell him, lowering my hand. "I also wasn't paying attention."
"Neither was I," He says. He notices we all have bags. "You girls going to Drew's party this weekend?"
"Yeah, we're going to be Charlie's Angels," Jaeda speaks up. "Don't tell anyone, we don't want anyone to copy."
Paul chuckles, "Your secret's safe with me." His eyes flash back to me. "I didn't sort you out to be a party girl Josie."
"I'm not, really," I say. "But I love Halloween."
"Are you going?" Jaeda speaks up.
"Yeah, we are," Paul says and motions to Jared. "Oh, this is Jared, Jared this is Josie and, her friends..."
"Jaeda," She says and give him a small smile. "And this is Eden."
"Embry's sister," Jared says. Eden doesn't say anything behind us. But we nod. "And you're Jacob Black's sister?"
"Twin, yeah," I say.
"I didn't put that together," Paul chuckles. "I guess that makes sense since you two are in the same grade."
"We look nothing alike so I don't blame you," I chuckle. "Are you guys doing a group costume?"
"No," Paul chuckles. "I might look for a reflective vest or something to be a construction worker."
"That was my idea," Jared says, scolding his friend. "We're not doing the same thing."
"There was a bunch of men's costumes in there," Jaeda says with a charming smile. "You guys will find something."
"I'm sure," Paul says, his eyes on me. "Does your brother know your going?"
"No," I say, "And I'm hoping it stays that way."
"I think practically everyone's going," Jared says. "You might end up running into him."
"Let's hope not," I say, rocking back and forth on my feet. The frigid wind picks up, and I could see Paul's eyebrows scrunch up out of the corner of my eye. "Him and Embry both are getting extremely protective."
"I noticed that the other day," Paul says. "But I'm sure that's all part of the brother role." I feel myself shiver. "We'll let you guys go, you look freezing."
"Yeah," I say. That was quite observant of him. "I guess we'll see you tomorrow."
"I look forward to it."
We both go our separate ways. Jaeda practically hanging onto me, trying to keep herself together until we got into the car. I fumble the keys as I try to stick them into the car door.
"Shut up!" Jaeda screams as we get inside. "Shut up! Shut up!"
"Shh," I tell her, glancing out the back window to make sure they're inside. "He could hear you."
"He's inside," She waves me off. "He called you by your name. He said he looked forward to seeing you. Josie, come on. He's totally into you!"
"I don't know if that's a good thing," Eden finally speaks up. "He was looking at her like she was some kind of challenge, Jaeda."
"I agree," I say. "I ran into him at the beach on Saturday and he was so full of himself. It was like pulling teeth getting him to apologize."
"There's nothing wrong with knowing your hot," Jaeda says once I start the car.
"He doesn't seem to think of anyone but himself though. That's the issue. There's a difference between narcissism and confidence," I tell her.
"Isn't he talking to Paige still?" Eden speaks up. I start to back out of the parking spot. "If they aren't talking they're definitely still flirty."
"Last I heard they broke up," Jaeda says. "Or ended things. Whatever they were, it stopped."
"I guess we'll find out tomorrow," I say as we get into the main road. "It's the perfect opportunity to find out."
"It sure is. But I'm telling you, he's so into you it's obvious J."
Was he?
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