I was almost too afraid to turn around and see for myself what his gaze was fixed on, causing the horrified expression on his face. But I did it anyway. It was as though I didn't have a choice at all, it was an automated move.
As if in slow motion I turned around to follow his glance while holding my breath and hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
And it was indeed the worst.
My mouth fell open in disbelief and horror while I tried to process what I saw on the TV. A yellow press reporter was posing in front of pictures outside the lobby of the apartment tower our apartment was in and explaining something excitedly.
The breaking news caption said: "mysterious young woman spotted outside trimage apartment complex". And further: "supposedly home to idols like Jungkook and J-Hope of BTS as well as Super Junior's Leeteuk, Siwon and Donghae."
The picture didn't show just some young girl, it was me. Definitely. No doubt. It was the picture taken of me by the paparazzo on the day I went to get my suitcase from my mother and had the fight with Yejin.
The snapshot had captured me in the moment I scurried inside the lobby with my head down, trying to shield my face from the reporter's hungry lense behind hunched shoulders, but even more desperately trying to hide the waterfall of tears cascading down my cheeks.
At least I managed to do that. But that was no consolation.
Thank heaven that my face was not visible in the picture, but the picture was now floating around. The rumor mill was bubbling, and it would not rest until the truth came to light. That, and I now had to deal with Jungkook's wrath.
[la di die (feat. Jaden Hossler) by Nessa Barret, jxdn]
We both were still staring at the screen in silence and shock, reality slowly sinking in. I recovered faster, naturally, because I had lived through the moment of the photograph and it wasn't all news to me.
However, I didn't dare to move. As long as Jungkook was still digesting the news I was safe. But it didn't last long.
"That's you in the photo, isn't it?", he broke the silence with the only question that mattered. His tone was calm, too calm.
I tore my gaze away from the screen and turned to face him. His expression was blank and his eyes rested on me, no fire in them, no fury, no nothing.
"Yes, it is," I replied quietly, lowering my eyes in shame, afraid of his reaction.
I knew there was nothing to be ashamed for or afraid of because it was so clear that this wasn't my fault. The reporter had waylaid me and probably had been laying in wait for a few days, stalking the residents of the tower to snap an explosive picture that would bring good money.
Of course I should have said something sooner. But I already had so much on my plate, and I was just a simple girl who had gotten into something she had no clue about and never wanted to have any part of.
It wasn't my responsibility to make sure something like this wouldn't happen. Yet it did happen and I was scared of what this incident would do to us, the memory of our recent fights still very much present.
And I was scared ever since the flashlight storm that it would come exactly to what it has come now. Being one step closer to full exposure to the world, the media, to everyone's eyes that were only eagerly waiting to talk trash about me online. I did my research, I knew how bad it got for women who had been in dating scandals with BTS although there was not a single bit of proof. I was horrified.
"How in the world could this even happen?", he asked a second later, now something was stirring deeply in his eyes, "how could you let this happen?!"
"You can't be serious right now", I retorted, not sure whether to laugh, cry or scream at him for reacting exactly as I feared he would, "I didn't let anything happen. How could you even think that? It's not like I wanted that picture to be taken!"
"I find that hard to believe", he scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest and shifting his weight from one foot to the other, the anger agitating his body, "you knew about this picture. This was taken back in Seoul, so what has it been -two, three days? Why didn't you tell me -or anyone for that matter- about it?!"
His words hurt me more than I tried to let on but the tears welling up in my eyes betrayed me. Honestly, how could he consider the possibility that I wanted this photo to be released? Did he really think that low of me?
"I really don't know what you are trying to say right now, Jungkook", I spoke up, my voice getting louder by the second as I attempted to conceal my hurt feelings with anger, "but I had nothing to do with that. It was not my intention to get my privacy invaded for other people's daily gossip."
"Your privacy? What about mine?", he asked, probably just as upset as me, taking a step closer to me, "this isn't just about you."
"IT ISN'T JUST ABOUT YOU EITHER!", I yelled, at the end of my patience, "now you listen very closely to me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you or anyone else sooner, heaven knows I really am sorry, but YOU are not going to make this only about you. I have been trying so hard to make this work for us, for you, and I'm not having it anymore."
"Ever since we learned of the risk of our bond, I have been on beck and call for you. Every. Single. Time. I've dropped everything to follow your schedule, to go with you wherever you go so we can literally survive.", I let it all out, my eyes brimming with tears now, "but as it seems, the only one who had to cut back is me. No family, no friends, no studies, no happiness, no peace, no privacy. Nothing!"
"I can't do it anymore", I said out of breath, the emotions robbing me of my energy. A short silence followed, not a single word from him.
"You... you can't even see my face in the photo. It's not a big deal", I said quietly, tired of all the rage and everything else weighing down on me.
"That's not the point," he countered right away, our words fueling each other's rage inexorably.
He had simply ignored everything I had just hurled at him. His audacity to talk back was the final straw for me in this emotional state and I exploded, one last time in this argument.
[Wolke 7 - Single Version by Max Herre, Philipp Poisel]
"That's it! I'm done! With this, with you! I am not doing this anymore", I stormed past him to the door, turning around one last time, but nothing.
He stood there still as a rock, no intention to stop me and sort this out. The tears returned to my eyes and I shook my head in disappointment. With that I slammed the door shut in his face and started running.
I didn't know where I was going and what I was going to do now. Everything was messed up in my head. I was scared and lonely, homesick and heartbroken.
I had no power left to stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks. I lowered my head in attempt to hide my face from people that might see as I tried to find an exit. I needed to get out of here, somewhere far far away from this place. From him.
"Yuna", a sonorous voice loudly called my name and made me stop in my tracks to look up and search for the source of the voice.
My eyes found Frank's warm and compassionate eyes and I immediately went over to him.
"I heard what happened", he said in a gentle tone, careful not to upset me anymore.
"Can you... can you take me back?", I practically pleaded him, shortly interrupted by a sob shaking my body.
"Of course, that's why I was looking for you", he replied and showed me into the right direction with a gentle arm motion.
The tears were ceaselessly streaming down my face as we made our way back to the hotel in the limousine. Frank didn't attempt to console me, he just made sure to drive back safely. I wasn't sure there was even anything he could say to make it better.
He handed me a tissue and then took the next turn. I tried to dry my tears but they just kept on coming as I stared out of the window. It had started to rain and the rain drops running down the car window made it look like the car was crying too.
Being an emotional mess I didn't notice the danger tailing us, not until it was too late.
We were on the highway when another car pulled up beside us on the passenger side, holding up the exact speed as us while swerving a little in its lane. That was when I noticed something was strange. I lifted my head just in time to spot a big camera lense in the driver's window of the other car, ready to take a shot of me.
"FRANK!", I screamed in panic and was pressed into my seat when he stepped on the gas without hesitation.
A flash lit up in the darkness but we were already out of sight.
Right now I very much regretted insisting on sitting in the passenger's seat. I usually insist on it when Frank is driving me because I don't like the feeling of being escorted somewhere in the back of the car. But there is a reason why celebrities normally sit in the back. The windows are tinted to prevent exactly a situation like this one. At least the tears have stopped flowing down my cheeks.
To my horror, however, I saw in the side mirror that the paparazzi car also picked up its speed and started chasing us.
"Frank", I repeated in an alarmed tone to check if he had noticed it too.
"I see him", he said through clenched teeth while watching our persecutor, "hold on. I'll try to shake him."
"Ok", I breathed grabbing the armrests tightly as the car accelerated to a speed that made my head spin.
For a second the other car fell back but then it seemed like it succeeded at catching up with us again.
My heart was in my throat and fear crippled my body, making it impossible for me to form a coherent thought. This has gone too far, I didn't want to my identity to be compromised. We just had to outrun the reporter. There was no other way.
"We're too exposed on the highway and there's a construction site ahead with some traffic jam", Frank informed while calmly driving despite the high speed, "we'll take the next exit but I'll make it seem like we'll stay on this highway to lose this idiot."
"Are you sure?", I asked frightened, holding on so tightly to the armrests that my knuckles were glistening white through my skin.
"We'll come in hot but it's possible. Trust me", he assured me.
"Damn it, ok", I gave in. It wasn't like there was any other way. I mean, yes, I could go hide in the back but if this guy was willing to drive 150 mph just to get a snap of me who knew what else he was capable of if we were stuck in traffic.
"Here it comes", Frank warned me and the exit appeared on the right.
He yanked the steering wheel to the side and headed down the exit at full pelt. It took me everything not to scream as he tried to break down the speed. I was thrown to the side but we were eventually slowing down.
Just not enough.
The road was slippery from the rains and when we reached the tightest point of the turn we started sliding off the road. Frank jerked the steering wheel to the other side but it was too late. I screamed when we ran straight into the wall of the tunnel we were headed for.
Everything that happened next was only a blur in my memory. I remember the squeaking of the tyres on the asphalt and then the nasty sound of metal crashing into stone and being dragged along. A sharp pain suddenly started pulsating in my head as if someone was using my brain as a punching bag. A shrill ringing sounded in my ears and the unconsciousness was trying to pull me under.
I managed to lift my head from the dashboard to check on Frank. He had gotten out of the car and was on his phone calling for help as he tried to get to my side of the car.
"Frank", I wanted to say out loud but my throat was as dry as sand paper and no sound left my mouth. The pain in my head was so unbearable that it was hard to stay awake.
"Yea, she's slowly coming to", he said into his phone when he reached my side, "but..."
--------------------------***---------------------------
Next thing I remembered were bright blinking lights flaring up in the dark night as I stared up into the clouded sky.
Someone patted my cheek repeatedly as someone else gave me an IV. "Yuna, stay with us. Stay awake. You probably have a concussion but we'll take you to the hospital", the paramedic next to me assured me as she and her partner got me into the ambulance on a gurney.
"Do you want this kind man to accompany you?", she asked me and I only managed to give her the slightest nod after I caught a glance of a worried Frank standing by the doors of the ambulance.
"What about the car?", I croaked looking at Frank sitting next to me. The ambulance started driving and I had to use the last of my strength to not give into fainting again.
"Don't worry about it", he said with a heart warming smile on his lips and squeezed my hand gently.
"What happened?", I asked, the pain diminishing just a little.
"I'm sorry, Yuna. I lost control of the car", he explained, an expression of guilt carving the wrinkles on his face more deeply.
"Oh", I managed to reply, "did they... did they get us?" I was almost too afraid to ask but I needed to know.
"No. No, I don't think so", he shook his head. "The police closed off the street right away, we should be fine", he nodded, reassuring me with his warm smile, "you just rest. Don't worry about it."
"Hm", I hummed, suddenly feeling very tired.
From this point on, all my memories were rather blurry till the moment I woke up in a hospital bed with Serena sitting beside me.
"Hey, princess", she said with a light cheeky smile, "how are you feeling?"
"I feel like an elephant has performed a tap dance on my head", I whispered and tried a laugh which turned out as a cough since my throat was dust-dry.
Serena smiled to herself because of the reference to our first encounter in the med room at the concert in June, which now felt like it was ages ago although it had only been two weeks. She handed me a plastic cup filled with water and I gladly took a few sips.
"You know if you want to spend more time with me, just say so", she joked to brighten the mood, "you don't have to get a concussion to make me come see you. Just text me and we'll go get coffee together. How does that sound?"
"A lot better", I said in a rapsy voice, returning a faint smile, "I just thought, you know, with you being my doctor and everything..."
Her little laugh seemed to light up the room a little bit and I was once again absolutely taken by her pure beauty as she tucked a loose strand of her glossy, hickory brown hair behind her ear.
I gasped for air when I realised that I was seeing colours in this moment. I had been around Jungkook so much that I was already adapting to seeing colours more frequently. My eyes immediately scanned the room. I frantically looked over to Serena and a worry line appeared on her forehead.
"Jungkook?", I asked quietly, my eyes burning because of the pain in my head. Or in my heart, I couldn't tell.
She shook her head slowly and slumped her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Yuna. He's not here," she said in a tone as if she were making a confession.
"But- how is this possible?", I asked, the confusion challenging my headache, "I am seeing colours right now, Serena. Is he close by?"
"What? No, as far as I know he's at the sound check for the concert tonight", she replied, pinching her eyebrows together.
"Ok... I mean, yes, our bond was evolving distance-wise for our coloured vision, but I don't think... not more than maybe 50 feet?", I rambled trying to make sense of this despite the pounding ache in my head, "this seems like an extreme increase, right?"
"I don't know...", Serena mumbled lost in thought, but then her eyes widened slightly as if she realised something.
"Can it be...?", she mumbled to herself while fumbling with the seam of her shirt and pondering about something until I cleared my voice to bring her back to the conversation we were just having.
"What is it?", I asked although I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know. What if it were more bad news?
"Yuna, I think your soulmate bond might be dissipating", she stated, making me frown in return.
[Upside of Down by SVRCINA]
Somewhere in the back of my head parts of the conversation Jungkook and I had with the expert on soulmate bonding began replaying.
"What do you mean?"
"Seongmin, -I mean, the expert, he mentioned to the management that your bond is quite weak, unstable even and that he has experienced cases like yours where the bond would one day come undone after it's been abandoned or...", she lowered her head and her voice died away, not finishing the sentence.
"Or what?", I kept pushing, suddenly feeling the urge to know after all.
"Or if the two soulmates decided to sever their bond", she gave in, "they just couldn't accept their bond and usually, at first, it started with seeing colours independently and then, well, everything else would fall apart eventually."
"What... Why weren't we informed about this?", I asked in disbelief as I tried to process the revelation.
Serena avoided my gaze while grappling for the right words. "We... we decided not to tell you about this to give you and Jungkook the chance to work on your bond, to get along and finally see colours, like you both always wanted."
"But...", I breathed in disbelief. I couldn't even comprehend to what extent it changed everything that had happened up until now.
"I wanted to tell you but... we -Namjoon, Yoongi and I- we noticed how you two were having a hard time adjusting. But we still wanted to give you a chance to overcome this and nurture your bond so you could get along and enjoy all the good things soulmate bonding has to offer", she told me with a tortured look on her face.
"Yoongi - he didn't want to give you an easy way out. If you had known about this, you might have never even tried to make it work. And he made me realise that you... had to give it a shot because the alternative is so much worse", she concluded, almost whispering her last words.
"But didn't you see how we were tearing each other apart?", I replied, tears unintentionally welling up in my eyes, "you said that if it's too much... - you swore you'd get me out."
"I know, I know", she said and grabbed my hand as a single tear rolled down her cheek, "I'm so sorry, Yuna. I just thought... you seemed to be getting along better and I got my hopes up. I didn't see how much it was actually eating away at you."
"You see", she took a deep breath, "you know that I also have achromatopsia. And I was lucky enough to meet my soulmate a few years ago. We spent one unforgettable summer together, we even fell in love. But then reality caught up with us. Suddenly our newly coloured world was no longer so colourful and we... drifted apart. We started fighting and from one day to the next, we didn't need each other anymore. We could see colours even if we were miles apart. They only never shone as brightly again."
"And I've lost my better half," she said, her eyes fixed on something in the distance, as if she were seeing her past pass before her inner eye.
"My soulmate was- is Yoongi, Yuna," she said, composing herself and fixing her gaze on me.
I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. Now everything made much more sense. This was the last tile to finish the puzzle in my mind that was Yoongi and Serena's tragic love story. She and I might not be so different after all.
"Maybe that's why I was hoping for a better ending for you. I'm really sorry, I should have let you decide for yourself," she admitted defeatedly and wiped her cheek with her sleeve.
"I... I'm sorry this happened to you", I spoke up after a short pause, "thank you for taking care of me all along. I wouldn't know where I'd be without you." She nodded in understanding and squeezed my hand softly.
"I'll let you rest now. We can talk about this another time, don't worry too much. You got another concussion after all", she said, smiling faintly. "If you need anything, just let me know."
---------------------------***--------------------------
I was startled out of my sleep from a clanking noise next to my bed. I opened my eyes widely, my heart was pounding. I heard a rustling sound to the left of me and spotted a dark figure bending down to pick something up.
It was almost completely dark in the room except for the slight moonlight shining through the window behind the patient bed. I must have dozed off after lunch and been so exhausted that I took a very long nap.
"Who- Jungkook is that you?", I asked when my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I recognised the silhouette of his body.
"Um.. yeah?", he replied, slowly straightening up and sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.
It took me a second to realise that the noise that woke me up was the sound of a can falling on the floor, that he was now holding in his hand again. It seemed to be some sort of beverage.
He let himself fall down on the chair behind him and slouched down with a sigh. But how he acted, in particular the way he moved, somehow put me off. Was he-
"Are you drunk?", I asked annoyed as it slowly dawned upon me.
"I might be", he replied, a slight giggle induced in his speech.
"What time is it?" "Something around 1am- ...ish", he tried to get his phone out of the pocket of his jacket but failed miserably.
"What are you doing here?", I voiced the next question swirling through my head.
I tried to conceal the pain that I felt as everything that happened in the last 24 hours came rushing back, now that I was more awake. I sat up a little straighter and turned to the side to get a closer look at him just to catch him scrutinizing my face with restless eyes.
"Well... after the concert someone finally deemed it necessary to tell me that you and Frank got into a car accident", he told me, slurring his words due to his intoxicated state.
I know I should be shocked that the management decided not to inform him right away and wait till after the concert but I had seen too much already. I wasn't surprised anymore.
"I realised that the accident was all my fault and I thought about how you must feel while you were all by yourself... in this hospital, alone", he lost track of what he was trying to say for a moment before he exhaled loudly and resumed babbling.
"So I decided to have a drink with my hyungs and then I came here", he finished his story and dropped the can once again. Good thing it has long been emptied.
"Jungkook, you are wasted", I stated, knowing that I wasn't in the mood to deal with this right now, "I don't think I want to get into this-"
"I just wanted to see if you're okay", he said loudly and straightened up, "I can see you're ok so I guess I'll just go."
"Is that all you have to say to me?", I blurted out bitterly, my vision already blurry again, "can't you say you're sorry for once? All this time, you never said you're sorry after everything you put me through-"
"Listen, Yuna, I'm sorry, okay?", he interrupted me and got up, albeit quite staggeringly.
"Please-" "No, let me finish", he begged, sounding rather sobered up all of a sudden.
"I am truly sorry. I have been the biggest asshole to you ever since we first met. I manipulated you, I lied to you and I asked too much of you. And in return, I treated you like crap", he said, the slurring almost completely disappeared, but it was hard to discern the look on his face in the dark.
"I was so selfish and so scared at the same time. But when I realised that, it was too late to take it all back. And the more we fought and other shit went down, the harder it was for me to find the right words to just tell you how incredibly sorry I am and how much I wish to take it all back. All the pain that I've caused you", he mumbled the last part so quietly that I almost didn't hear it.
And then silence. It was simply and plainly quiet in the room until I let out a deep sigh. I hadn't realised that I had been holding my breath for so long.
"Was that really so hard to say? After everything that happened?", I asked, unable to begin to quench the waterfall of tears flowing down my cheeks, "you came here after I've been through hell, mostly because of you, and finally apologise? Drunk at that?!"
Silence. "Does it take a car accident for you to respect me, to finally see me?", I said quietly, fiddling with the cover of my blanket, "I deserve better than that."
"I know", he whispered, eventually looking up into my eyes. "Are you... crying?"
I think there has never been anyone or anything that made me cry as much as he did. Not even the fact that I had never been able to see colours for as long as I can remember. He had made me cry so much and this was the first time I would actually let him see my tears, my vulnerability in all its depths.
"No", I lied stupidly enough and wiped away my tears but I couldn't stop them from streaming down my face.
"I can see your tears, silly, even if it's quite dark in here", he said. The smile on his face was audible in the way he talked.
My heart tried to break a racing world record when he leaned down to cup my face in his hands and wipe off the tears of my cheeks.
He leant further forward and pressed his lips on mine, catching me off guard. It was a sweet kiss until it wasn't. Where our lips touched, my tears left a salty taste.
He pulled away to sit down on the edge of the bed next to me and collected my tears with his thumbs until they stopped rolling down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry", I sniffled, my chest shaking from sobbing a second ago. I reached over to the night stand to quickly blow my nose.
"You know you can't just waltz in here, apologise, kiss me and expect-", I was cut off as he placed another peck on my lips. My heart needlessly performed a somersault in my chest.
"I'm sorry, you were saying?", he said barely even trying to hide his smirk.
"And expect me to just forgive you", I continued, fighting to stay focused. "The accident made me realise something. This is as far as it goes. I meant it when I said that I'm not doing this with you anymore. Unless you actually get your act together."
"I deserve better. I need you to look out for me, to actually listen to me and to respect my wishes and fears", I had to make myself clear, once and for all. This was our final chance.
"And a simple apology won't cut it. Because as far as I'm concerned if something doesn't go your way tomorrow or the day after that or whenever, this conversation will probably matter zero to you", I stated the blatant truth.
It was indeed dark in the room but I could still catch a glimpse of how my words hurt him. But I was done with bending over backwards to meet his needs. Because it had gotten out of hand, my hospitalization being my last straw.
"I promise", he said holding my gaze.
I let my eyes roam over his face, tracing the dark and highlighted traits of his face that were outlined by the subtle moonlight. His round nose, the heart-shaped outline of his upper lip, the small scar on his cheek and these damn dark brown eyes.
"How can I even trust you?", I mumbled rather to myself but still keeping eye contact before I zoned out as my thoughts started spinning at a sickening speed.
"I feel like we only bring out the worst in each other."
When I looked up again I got the feeling he wanted to say something to me but he didn't. Instead his glance fell on my sleeping shirt.
"Is that an Iron Man shirt?", he asked surprised as his eyes lit up.
I wasn't even mad that he changed the subject. I knew we had said everything that needed to be said for tonight, including some things that were long overdue.
"Um yea.. actually, that's my favourite Marvel movie since like forever", I replied, peeking down at the graphic depiction of Iron Man on my chest.
"So you're a little nerd, I see. How come I never knew about that?", he asked, cocking his left eyebrow.
"You know what? For the sake of our argument just now, I'm not going to answer that question," I replied and leaned back against the put up bed, sinking into my pillow.
"Fair point", he acknowledged with a nod. His eyes flitted across my face, taking in as much detail as he could in the dark.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's all my fault," he said lowly, "I never meant to put you in harm's way. Because of me and who I am, you know."
"You've done a lot of things wrong, Jungkook, but this isn't one of them. It's not your fault that some crazy reporter chased after us. You can't blame yourself for that", I reassured him.
Despite everything he indeed did to hurt me with his own actions, I knew these were two completely different things.
"How is your head?", he asked. His hand, that was resting on the blanket next to my covered legs, shortly twitched as if he was going to reach for my face again to caress my cheek.
"It's alright. It's just that... this is the second concussion you initially caused", I teased him, finally being able to muster up a small smile again.
"What? You just said that it wasn't my fault", he countered, acting playfully offended.
"That is not exactly what I said", I replied a little surprised when a quiet giggle got away from me.
"Alright, silly, scoot over", he gestured with his hand for some space on the left side of the bed.
[ComE dOWn by WOOSUNG]
"What, no! And who are you calling silly?", I said indignantly. He was very unfazed by my protest, however, and simply pushed me to the side.
"Would you prefer a different nickname, hm?", he asked as he kicked off his shoes, stripped his jacket and swung his legs on the bed.
"Uh, no. Just no insults, thank you", I crossed my arms in front of my chest and wrinkled my nose, "and also, your little stunt here doesn't seem very sanitary."
"Says you. And also, you surely need some healing", he simply shrugged it off, "so, how about I call you... mine instead?"
"Ugh shut up", I complained but my smile reached my eyes this time. I was pretty sure that my cheeks weren't burning up because I had a fever.
"Make me", he replied, quick as ever, and fixated his piercing eyes on me that put me in a chokehold, in spite of his cringy joke.
Just for a split second my gaze dropped from his eyes down to his lips before they went straight back up. But it was long enough to ignite a spark.
He laid his hand on my chin and tilted my head up while he bent down. His incredibly soft lips captured mine in this perfect gentle yet so passionate kiss. His tongue slightly brushed my lips and sent a shockwave throughout my body. With a slight push to the side with his hand on my chin, my lips parted. He seized his chance and deepened the kiss.
I could taste a bitter sweet hint of alcohol mixed with something else on my tongue in the heated kiss. Had he been smoking? Surprisingly, it wasn't a turn-off for me, though.
He adroitly used the placement of his hand underneath my chin to align my head to his liking, to match the pace and intensity of the kiss. I was clearly but gladly overwhelmed.
When did we make it a habit to end up like this, no matter the gravity of our fight before?
He withdrew his hand from my face and placed it on my left thigh to shift his weight and move closer to me. Another shockwave hit my body when he ran his hand across my thigh and up to the hem of my loose shirt, all the while he befuddled my brain with steamy kisses.
"Is this ok?", he murmured against my lips.
"Yeah", was the only word that I managed to produce despite being absolutely dazed by the electricity of the kiss.
Then everything happened very fast. Or at least it felt that way because I felt it all at once.
His hand slid underneath my shirt and grazed over my bare belly. Simultaneously, he pulled away from the kiss and began leaving a trail of butterfly kisses from my cheek to my exposed neck. With his hand he reached over to my side and grabbed my waist.
His lips found mine again but then it seemed like the first taste made him long for more and the kisses grew more intense, hungrier even. And I began to lose myself.
I let myself fall almost completely. Almost.
I pulled away, rather abruptly. My head was pounding, my hands were sweaty and my legs wobbly. I was glad I wasn't standing.
"Everything alright?", he asked right away, his voice unusually deep. It took him a second longer to take his eyes off my lips. He inhaled deeply and exhaled sharply.
He also removed his hand from my waist which I was thankful for because it made it easier for me to form a full sentence rather than plainly say: Do. It. Again.
"Uh-huh... yes, yes, of course", I quickly assured him, my trembling breath impeding my speech, "it's just... uh- this is happening... very fast."
For a moment it looked like he had lost himself in my eyes but then he pulled himself together.
"Oh, yea... absolutely, I understand," he replied and relaxed, "I um- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push y- I'm sorry, I got overwhelmed." He lifted his hand to his head and ran his fingers through his hair above his ear.
Snippets of a distant conversation with Yoongi about Jungkook's cute habit of covering his ears when he's shy managed to trickle through the fuzziness in my brain.
"No worries. At all. I actually kinda...", I forced myself to voice my thoughts so maybe it would be less awkward -at least for him, "liked it, to be honest."
A spark of complacence flashed up in his eyes. Then a soft smile tugged on the corners of his lips and he put his arm around me.
"Um, another thing", I cleared my throat and simply changed the subject, regarding him with a wrinkled nose, "did you smoke? You smell like smoke." And you taste like smoke, I added in thought.
"No! I would ne- ...yes, ok? I had one cigarette", he admitted to it after I raised an eyebrow at him, "it helps me relax. Sometimes. I rarely do it."
"Oh, is that right?", I teased him, "I thought you were the golden boy or something. And oh so perfect and all that."
"Golden maknae", he corrected me and rolled his eyes, "that doesn't mean I can't do whatever I want. I'm a grown man. Unless you don't want me-"
"Don't hold back on my account", I said with a slight shrug of my shoulders. It really didn't matter, it was his decision and I trusted him with it.
"Alright. Then it's settled", he pulled me to his chest and kissed my head.
"Is this ok?", he mumbled, nestling his face in the crook of my neck which slightly tickled. I never would have guessed that intoxicated Jungkook would be so clingy.
"Yes", I whispered, snuggling into his embrace. As my heart rate slowed down, the tiredness slowly crept up on me.
"Wait- are you smelling my hair?", my question was followed by an unintentional sleepy chuckle.
"No", he lied, tightening his grip around my shoulder.
"Sure you are, dummy", I mumbled, my eyes fluttering as sleep overwhelmed me, "you're weird... I really can't... figure you... out."
---------------------------***--------------------------
"You know I really missed you at the concert today", Jungkook said, his face cutely twisted into a small pout. However, his eyes were fixed on the road as he took a left turn.
After being woken up by a rather annoyed nurse who wanted to do a final examination so I could be discharged, he insisted on driving me back. My cheeks were flushed throughout the entire check-up because I was embarrassed that I had been caught spending the night in a hospital bed with an idol instead of, well, properly resting.
He didn't seem to mind at all, though, which quite surprised me given his usually rather shy behaviour in public. While he made a call to order a car for the return to the hotel, he nonchalantly signed a key chain for the other nurse, who had become quite flustered when he noticed Jungkook in the corner of the room.
"What do you mean?" I asked. I responded rather slowly as I tried to shake off the embarrassment from earlier. I touched my cheeks and I could have sworn they were still burning with shame.
"I mean that it was such a breathtaking experience to perform seeing all these colours when you were there for the first concert", he explained, shortly glancing over to me.
I swallowed hard when it hit me. While I was in hospital, however many miles away from him, I was able to see colours and he couldn't.
When he came to see me last night, I decided not to talk to him about it because I thought he had experienced the same thing and we would have a conversation about it at a later time. Now he was telling me he hadn't seen colours whereas I had. That put what Serena revealed to me in a completely different light.
A thousand questions flooded my mind at the same time, and I didn't even know where to begin to understand what this meant for us, for our bond.
"Yuna? Everything alright? You look a little pale", Jungkook saved me from drowning in my thoughts and worries by placing his right hand on my thigh to gently squeeze it.
"Um, yeah. It's probably just the aftermath of the concussion", I said, chosing not to tell him about what I just learnt. He gave me an unconvinced look.
I needed to make up my own mind about this first before he had the chance to freak out and blame me for things I had no answer for.
"I would have been there if I hadn't been otherwise occupied," I joked dryly, which certainly didn't convince me, but he chuckled and pulled his hand away, seemingly reassured.
I checked my phone for new messages. Apparently Serena had called Mum about what happend because I had a bunch of worried messages from her. I quickly texted her back, inserting a little 'mommy' to soothe her. I really didn't want her to be concerned about me. She had worried about me enough, enough to last a lifetime.
As I closed the messenger app I accidentally tapped on Twitter and noticed a bunch of sensational headlines above the paparazzi picture of me in the lobby of the apartment tower. I let out a frustrated sigh.
But then I stumbled across a tweet by a tabloid magazine that headlined an article about an interview of a guest at the hotel we, BTS and their crew, were staying at currently. Underneath there was a picture of the pool in which Jungkook taught me to swim.
My stomach turned and I felt sick just looking at the post. I clicked on the link and read.
"I wanted to go swimming after working all day, and when I entered the pool, I saw BTS Jungkook getting out of the water. Man, he is so well built. He was very polite. When I recognised him, he greeted me and shook my hand. But it was really weird, I thought I saw someone leave through the back door and there was an extra pair of flip-flops, too," the interview said.
There was no evidence pointing to me, but netizens were wildly theorising, linking the interview to the viral snapshot of me and viciously insulting the unnamed person - also me.
The urge to throw up became stronger as I read through the gut-wrenching comments. This was just a foretaste of what would happen if I indeed would ever be exposed. Which would hopefully never ever happen.
"Jungkook", I quietly called his name, barely able to look him into the eyes after he had parked the car in the parking lot behind the hotel and turned towards me.
"I'm so scared."
"I know", he said softly, rotating his upper further towards me so he was face to face with me, "I know how scary it is and words can't describe how incredibly sorry I am that you had to deal with this all alone. But I'm here now."
His words remedied my anxiety in a way I didn't think possible. He reached for my face with his hand and brushed a loose strand behind my ear, his fingers tenderly grazing my skin.
"We'll get through this. Together", he reassured me with a smile and glinting doe eyes.
I sighed and nodded slowly, not quite convinced... yet.
Our moment was rudely interrupted, though, by my phone blowing up with messages and an incoming call.
F*cking finally. That's what you must be thinking because that's what I'm thinking right now as I FINALLY finished chapter.
It took me everything to get my sh*t together and overcome the lack of ideas I had to be able to begin to write the last few chapters of Yuna's story.
To everyone who's still here, patiently waiting. Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed this exciting chapter.
Lots of love and kisses,
btsximajin