Harry hadn't even been in Hogwarts for a week, but it was already the best time of his life. Ron and Hermione did seem closer to each other, and there was a certain level of frostiness between Ron and Draco, but these were people who genuinely cared about Harry and showed it.
When Harry was in primary school he rarely had friends, and when he did they left the school, stopped being friends with him, or started being bullied relentlessly too. Harry was almost always alone, and even when he wasn't it didn't stop Dudley and his gang making Harry's life as hard as they could. He had never consciously or deliberately done anything in retaliation, though it turned out he had done so accidentally with magic.
He had also never been able to eat so much food, or wash to regularly, or sleep in such a soft bed. Though, Harry actually slept in his bed surprisingly little.
He guessed he would have taken at least a week to stop having his nightmares, but he still felt guilty how almost every time he woke up in a cold sweat with a silent scream that Ron was awake too and comforting him. Sometimes Harry would end up falling asleep in Ron's bed as his friend comforted him, and other times they would all fall asleep on the sofa in front of the fire, but Harry felt like he almost always fell asleep first.
Draco's promise to give Harry more of the sleeping potion was delayed as Mme Pomfrey insisted on putting it through many rigorous tests. Harry couldn't put his finger on why, but he felt a strong desire to stay away from Mme Pomfrey and the Hospital Wing, no matter how often Draco offered to take him there to see the results of the tests.
Today, though, was a true test of what Harry's future might bring. It was the first Saturday, so now Harry stood in McGonagall's office with Ron and Hermione on either side of him. Minerva had left the room to give Harry and Remus some privacy.
Remus wasn't late, Harry had come early in the hopes of giving this 'Uncle' of his a good enough impression of him. If this person liked him, maybe Harry would finally be able to leave the Dursleys, his dream for as long as he could remember.
Time seemed to be moving unbearably slowly as Ron led Harry to a chair, Harry busy looking between the clock and the fireplace, where Ron had told him Remus would be coming in through.
"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione's question made Harry jump.
"I'm fine." Harry looked down with a strained smile.
"It's okay to be nervous, you're meeting someone you've never met before in your memory. Anyone would be nervous." Hermione put her hand on Harry's shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze.
"You two aren't nervous though." Harry mumbled beneath his breath.
"It's not our family though, mate. The amount of stress that fills my house whenever a relative is coming would make anyone unable to believe. That's even more so when at least most of us don't know them, and we're a big family. Most Christmases are utter nightmares." Ron was not exaggerating, even Fred and George didn't dare to crack the smallest joke when any number of family members came to their house unless it was Bill or Charley.
Ron still didn't understand why the whole family insisted on coming to the Burrow for every Christmas until this year when every one of them had a house more suited to hosting that number of people. Yes, Molly was by far the best cook in the family, especially when she was feeding people she loved, but it's not like she didn't need some time off cooking, and she would never have refused to help. She would in fact insist on it, too used to being run off her feet caring for so many children.
Harry didn't say anything in response, but his knee was bobbing up and down, a nervous habit Harry had dropped in their fourth year when he had to spend all his time with Hermione because Ron was mad at him. It had annoyed her and she asked him to stop, she hadn't meant forever though.
The fireplace roared into tall, emerald green as a tall man with hair on the line between blond and brown, eyes a very pale brown, pale skin with a number of scars on his forearms and one that looked like it had been deep running from about mid cheek to beneath the collar of his loose V-neck top that was such a pale brown it was almost white, walking out of the flames.
Harry looked up immediately, standing up and brushing off his clothes. He was wearing his school uniform, just without the outer cloak. Admittedly it felt a little odd to be wearing robes when he was used to wearing oversized t-shirts and shorts that fit him like loose trousers, he just felt that was inappropriate for meeting his unofficial uncle who he wanted to give a good impression. The neatness of his uniform a little lost with all the paler dog hairs stuck to it from the dog who didn't seem to have an owner what didn't want to leave him alone. The dog even came with them to this meeting.
"You must be Remus, I'm Harry." Harry really hoped his voice wasn't shaking as he held his hand out for Remus.
"It's nice to finally meet you again, Harry. May I hug you?" Remus seemed to be working hard to keep his hands to himself, the dog walking over to him.
Harry really didn't know how to respond to that, was it a magic thing to want to keep hugging people? But Hermione said she was a muggleborn. Maybe it was just because Harry was 'The Boy Who Lived' and everyone wanted to be close to such a famous person. That would make sense, but somehow it didn't feel right.
"Um, yeah, I'm- I'm okay with that." Harry really liked getting hugs, though they still made him feel a little shy.
Remus immediately wrapped Harry in his arms. Remus smelled strongly of wood smoke and coffee, his clothing and cardigan soft to the touch. Harry's breath caught in his throat, Remus seemed to radiate a kind of warmth Harry had always been sorely lacking, though Hermione and Ron weren't a million miles apart.
Harry bit the inside of his lip in an attempt not to cry. The emotions Harry was feeling at the moment were overwhelming, he couldn't even remember a time he had felt like this before. The most hope Harry had had when he was living with the Dursleys was for some faceless, nameless person coming to take him away, what happened after that being an empty void. Now though, now Harry knew what he wanted the rest of his life to be. He wanted this warmth, he wanted to get hugs, he wanted people to care about his opinion, he wanted people who sought him out. Harry wanted a real family.
"Shall we sit down?" Remus broke the hug that Harry found himself wishing would last forever, a coldness that had always filled his life chilled Harry to the bone.
Remus sat across from Harry, Ron, and Hermione, Harry sitting between the other two, getting a little bit of the warmth back, Ron patting him on the back gently.
Nobody mentioned that Harry's eyes were red.
"You and McGonagall said you're my honorary uncle, but not my godfather." It was a statement, not a question, but there was nobody in the room who didn't know what Harry meant by it.
"Your parents and I went to Hogwarts at the same time, I was friends with both, but I was closer with James, your father. We were a group of 4; Your father, me, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black." Remus' eyes were sad as he recollected, it was still painful to think about. How long had they been lied to?
"Hermione told me Sirius Black was accused of my parents' death." Harry didn't mention that Peter was alive, Hermione heard that from Ron, and from what Harry experienced himself, it would probably already be a deep scar, and it would be easier to fade when he had all the information, rather than third hand information. Ron and Hermione stayed silent as Harry and Remus spoke, letting themselves fade into the background.
"Ah, yes. Your parents knew that- he was after their lives, and went into hiding with you in the hopes of escaping him. Publicly Sirius was their secret keeper, it was actually the other member of our group of 4, Peter Pettigrew." Remus' jaw stuck out a little as he spoke, his breathing forced. He didn't want to use the names for Voldemort that made the man more terrifying, but he still was too afraid to say his name. "When we were students here we thought we had no secrets, but Peter betrayed your parents willingly. Like I said, the public thought it was Sirius. They didn't need much to believe it was his doing."
A silence filled the room, it was heavy and they all knew how guilty Remus felt for his friends' bad endings. Perhaps he also felt guilt for not having one. The silence was finally broken by the dog barking, resting its head on Remus' leg.
"Sirius was your godfather, he and I were married, so ordinarily that would make me the next to take you in if anything happened to your parents. I tried as hard as I could to take you in, but Dumbledore and the Ministry put every barricade they could in my way. You see, I'm a werewolf." Remus leaned forwards, one elbow resting on his knee, the other hand petting the dog's head, the dog somehow looking smug.
Harry had heard some stories of werewolves, though not many. All he really knew about them was that they were people who turned into wolves, usually only on the full moon, and you could become one by being bitten. Stories seemed to argue if they were good, grey, or evil.
"What does that have to do with you taking me in?" Harry felt like the real reason was that Remus hadn't really wanted to raise a child, especially not one like him, but he wanted to believe that wasn't true.
"Wizards don't like werewolves." Ron spoke up for the first time since Remus had arrived. "It's hard to find a job, or even live in a village with other wizards. You have to be put on a register like you've done something wrong, so anyone can know if you're a werewolf. People see it as dirty as though it was the choice of the individual to get bitten. I guess I can kinds understand it up to 19 years ago when there were no potions to prevent them from losing their minds on full moons so there was genuine risk on the full moon. Now, though, it's only going to lead to people's fears coming true. Who would want to live in peace with people who make it impossible for them to live."
"But if there are potions that make you not dangerous, why would that affect if you could take me in?" Harry thought it would be reasonable for them to insist that he took the potions, maybe if they were really worried make him come in to take them, but if Remus would raise Harry well the rest of the time, why would the full moon now be any different.
"Because of prejudice." Hermione's face darkened as she, too, joined the conversation. "It's not like that doesn't happen in the muggle world too. My parents are both dentists, and you wouldn't believe how many more complaints my dad gets than my mum. My dad and I also get forced to go through far more "random" security checks when we leave the country. I mean, that makes even less sense than werewolves, no offense, because we were never dangerous. We're just black."
"None taken. I am fully aware that I can escape my judgement far more easily than you can." Remus inclined his head to Hermione, James had had an equally hard time when they were in the muggle world, being completely baffled as to why, the wizard world having erased almost all traces of the events that caused races to be defined.
It had been truly amusing to watch James and Sirius' genuine confusion in response to someone being racist to James. Sirius thinking they were talking to him, and when he found out they were talking to James said the only thing black about him was his hair. It seems they had annoyed the racist off, though later Remus had explained as best he could what had been going on, as it wouldn't always end well to annoy them. Sirius had crossed his arms and refused point blank to ever let anyone talk to James like that. Of course, Remus had never disagreed with that, he just knew there were some people who would not shy away from a physical fight, which Sirius was surprisingly good at for a wizard, but would likely end up in at least one arrest when they would have to pull Remus off their bloody bodies.
Piece of advice; don't harass the friend of someone who had to turn into a wolf once a month, it builds a lot of muscle and they are much quicker to pick up on their opponents moves. Remus had been kicked out of more than one martial arts group for accidentally causing excessive harm to another student.
"The Ministry said that I would be allowed to see you when you were old enough to know what a werewolf is and asked to see me, though I was allowed to write to you before then. I don't know how many of my letters and gifts you got, but I never forgot you or your birthday." Remus knew that it wasn't enough, he knew that nothing he had done was enough with how much Harry had suffered, but he had thought he was doing all he could.
Harry took a moment to understand what Remus just said. Through all his years with the Dursleys he had thought he was alone, sometimes he tried to convince himself that he wasn't, but in the back of his mind there was always a voice telling him that there wasn't a single person in the world who would ever care about him.
But Remus had written him letters. Remus had cared to remember his birthday without anyone watching. Remus had gone to the effort of getting and sending Harry gifts. From the sound of it perhaps as long as he had lived with the Dursleys.
"I never got any letters, and gifts for me were usually Dudley or Vernon's old clothes." Harry wasn't sure why he was telling them the second part, but he guessed he just wanted to tell Remus he didn't get what he sent, even under the name of another person.
"I'm sorry. I should have done more for you." Remus' voice was so sincere.
Harry hadn't expected to be working so hard to not cry, at least not the way he was feeling now. Harry had only been told he was too much work, that he cost more than he was worth, that he took too much food, that he was useless, that everything was his fault and his responsibility even when he couldn't even describe what had happened. Harry didn't think he would be capable of wishing for something more than he wished now that he had lived with Remus. He finally had a name and a face for someone who could come and take him away from the hell hole of the Dursleys.
"Do you mind if I visit you more often?" Remus asked
"Could I live with you?" Harry had asked before he had even realised the question was at the tip of his tongue. Ordinarily he would never have asked such a question, he wouldn't have asked anything from anyone, but the whole time Remus had only been kind to Harry.
"I really wish you could, I will keep fighting for it every day and I will never give up on you living with me, but at present I would be arrested if I let you live with me no matter what the circumstances are. You can stay with me at most 4 days every month, but you are welcome to come each and every one of those days, even without warning. You can think of my home as yours, and I will never stop fighting to make it." Remus' face truly showed sadness over rejecting Harry, not the kind that just meant they didn't want to be rude.
"Oh, okay, sorry for asking." Harry didn't mean to ask Remus to break the law, but he thought he would cry if he kept looking at Remus' face.
"No, please don't apologise. I'm glad you want to live with me. Do you mind if I visit you during Christmas?" Harry looked up at Remus in shock, he still wanted to be around Harry?
"I'd like that." Harry looked away again, this time smiling, his cheeks a little pink.