"(Why, why me, baby?)
You know every day, we livin' life
Up and downs and sh*t, goin' through sh*t
Going through changes, and you know what I'm sayin' (Why me, baby?)
Real life sh*t
(Why, why me, baby?)
(I been livin' wild)
(Why me, baby?)"
Gunna "livin wild"
Nicole
"Let me just slip these on." I inserted my feet into my blue camo crocs. I would prefer to wear the marble pair that has the fur inside, but I have no idea where they are. I bet Leo hid them somewhere because he loves taking my shoes.
I could wear my platform crocs. I like the extra inches they give me, but my feet start hurting after walking an hour in them.
As I sprayed perfume over my body, I looked at my stomach in the full length mirror.
I'm officially two months pregnant. You still can't tell if you were looking at me. It looks more like I'm bloated or something.
You thought Dewayne was clingy? Ever since my doctor confirmed that I was pregnant, that man has been at my beg and call. Now that he won't be going on the road for a while, he's not letting me do anything in the house or run errands by myself.
I glanced over my light grey Skims set before grabbing my purse and leaving the bedroom. I strolled into the kitchen to grab my car keys.
I looked over into the living room to see Dewayne laying down on the couch watching Devious Maids.
He has been hooked on these soap opera style shows lately. I don't blame him. They be entertaining with all the drama, but kind of predictable.
"Okay babe. I'm heading out." I made a break for the door. As soon as my hand touched for the door knob, Dewayne rose up from the couch.
"Where are you going?"
"Target. I need to grab a couple of things for tonight."
"I'll come with you." Wait, what?
"Since when do you like going to Target?"
"I don't like going to bougie Walmart. I just want to be with you."
"Awww." I cooed, resuming a look from him. "Why did you make that face?" I laughed.
"You think everything is cute." I watched him walk into the laundry room and pull out some
"Why are you changing your pants? I like those grey sweatpants."
"And I know why you do. That's why I want to keep this for your eyes only." He smirked, putting on some black cargo pants.
"Good idea."
"You were trying to leave without giving me a kiss?" He grabbed my jaw, looking deep into my eyes.
"No."
"Better not be." He kissed me and slapped my *ss. "Come on. Let's go."
Dewayne drove while I sat as the passenger princess, handling the aux. I almost had that privilege revoked when I played Tyla's Water but Dewayne called down when I put on Gunna's recent album.
When we got to Target, Dewayne grabbed a cart and I headed towards the Starbucks.
"Nic, we just came from the house."
"I promise to get the small size." He just shook his head as he followed me and waited by the tables.
I ordered a grande vanilla bean crème frappe and a grande mocha cookie crumble frappe. After the barista handed them to me, I gave the mocha one to Dewayne.
"Take it. You know you want it."
"Thank you. I already know you're going to f*ck up the bathroom when we get home." I gasped as he walked away.
"Look, they've already put out the Halloween stuff."
"Maybe I should get this." He picked up a black skull shaped mug. His hand slipped a little, almost causing the mug to fall to the ground. I immediately tucked into an aisle. "You gon do me like that?"
"I am not going to be held accountable for a broken mug."
"That's crazy."
"Oh, look at this Barbie costume. If I get this, you can be—."
"I'm not dressing as no Ken."
"Come on. Okay, what about this avocado one. I can be the half with the pit. It's set up so that we can hug, we form a perfect avocado."
"I mean, I can do some black panther sh*t."
"You're not fun." I pouted.
"I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but did you make a list?"
"I did. All I really need are carrots and broth."
"Which are all the way on the opposite side of the store."
"Right. Let's go over there. But can we check out the candles first?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Not really." I laughed.
After some more walking around and exploring, I grabbed the few ingredients I needed to complete my pot roast. I decided not to put any potatoes since the meat will be paired with mashed potatoes.
"The way I know some of our friends are going to be mad that we didn't tell them about the baby early on."
"Tucson and Tae, for sure."
"I already know they're going to fight about who should be the godfather."
"Who are you picking?"
"You're making me pick?"
"You know them best, so it makes sense."
"Would you think I was crazy if I said I was thinking about choosing Dennis?"
"No. He is a father, so he has the experience."
"What about the godmother?"
"Honestly, we could just choose Dennis and Karin."
"We still have time to think about it." I might be giving this too much thought because regardless of who we choose, our baby is going to be loved by the whole crew. "Didn't you say you had to be at Tre's at 7?"
"Yeah." I looked at my phone to see the time.
"It's almost 6:30."
"You don't want to be at this dinner or something?"
"That's not what I'm saying. I just don't want you to say that I didn't let you go hang out with your boys."
"I would never say that. You don't control me."
"Oh really?" I stood in front of him and ran my finger down his chest as I stared him down. I heard his breath hitch and his body tensed up. "How about now?"
"I think I need to go."
"I love you baby." I kissed him.
"I love you too. Save me a plate!" He ran out the house.
"I will."
I fed Leo and put on Bluey for him to watch. I showered real quick and threw on a cheetah print mumu.
As soon as I sat down on the couch, my doorbell chimed.
"Look at you two arriving at the same time."
"I actually got here first. I was just sitting in the car."
"Why didn't you come in?"
"He was busy trying to write something in the card. I caught him red handed."
"She still can't park. I had to climb out through the passenger seat."
"Mom, Dad, let's act civilized. Please come in."
"This is for you." They said in unison as they handed over their gifts. My father brought a vase of white roses while my mother brought a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.
"Thank you. The dining table is set. Shall we?"
"Of course." We sat down at the table with me the middle, Mom on my left and Dad on my right. I said grace before we dug into the food.
"This is really good baby girl."
"She learned from the best."
"If that's what you want to think."
"Don't play. You used to lick those plates clean."
"Well, now I lick Alfonso's plates clean."
"Mario licks mine, better than anybody has ever done."
"Woah. First of all, that is disgusting. Second of all, what is going on? Y'all were getting along just fine before I traveled. Where is all this animosity coming from?"
"Arlen called me last week to see if I wanted to go dress shopping for your father's upcoming wedding. Turns out, I didn't get an invitation."
"If I didn't get invited to your wedding, why would I invite you to mine?"
"Neither of you have to worry about that because you are both invited to my wedding." I smiled. My Mom immediately snatched my hand.
"Dewayne proposed?"
"No. Not yet anyway."
"I thought that was why we were having this dinner."
"It's not."
"Is there something to this dinner?" My Dad asked.
"I can't just cook for y'all?"
"I didn't say that."
"Are you pregnant?"
"No." I am but that's not the point. Mom squinted her eyes at me like she was trying to figure out if I was lying.
"Okay. If you say so."
"So, there is something I did want to bring up. Let me just ask first. Is there anything you two are hiding from me?"
"Like what?"
"It can be anything." I shrugged.
"No, not that I know of." Dad replied.
"There's nothing." Mom answered.
"I remember a couple of months ago that I asked Mom what her blood type was. She said A and when I asked you Dad, you said you were O."
"That's right."
"So, I'm wondering why the lab says I'm type B."
"Are you sure?"
"I did it three times."
"I know I'm type O because I donated blood a bunch of times."
"Mom, Mom." She was just staring at her plate, refusing to look up.
"Yeah?"
"What's going through your mind?"
"Look, I can explain."
"I'm listening."
"I know why our blood types don't match."
"Why?"
"We are not your biological parents."
"What?"
"What are you talking about Diane?"
"Your father and I's marriage was going through a rough patch after several miscarriages. But once I finally got pregnant and made it past the first trimester, I felt the love and joy that was there before. When I entered my second trimester, your grandmother had a stroke and your father had to stay with her for some time. It was on a Saturday night when I felt really painful abdominal cramps. I was so scared when I started to see blood. I called your father, but he didn't answer. The only person I could turn to at that time was my best friend Angie. She took me to the hospital where I learned I had a miscarriage because of a weak cervix. I had started to dilate prematurely. I didn't know how to tell anyone especially your father. That's when Angie come up with a plan that involved one of our neighbors, Gloria."
"Gloria Campbell?"
"Yes."
"Who is Gloria?"
"She was a woman who lived with her abusive boyfriend two doors down from us."
"She would never admit it, but we could see the bruises and sometimes hear her screams through the walls."
"She and I got pregnant around the same time."
*************************************************
"Do you really think she would agree to this?" Diane asked Angie as they sat on one of the couches in Gloria's living room.
"It won't hurt to ask."
"Here you go." Gloria came out with a tray with two glasses of water.
"Thank you."
"Where's Damian?"
"He's at work. He said he'll be home late tonight." Angie and Diane looked at each other. That could only mean one thing. He was going to a bar to get stupid drunk and probably hook up with one of the girls there before coming home to throw blows at Gloria.
"Okay. What happened to your eye?" It was visibly swollen as Gloria struggled to keep it open. The skin beneath it was also dark purple.
"Oh that? It's nothing. I just fell while I was cleaning."
"So, you fell only on your eye?" Gloria opened her mouth to give an explanation, but her pause suggested that she was struggling to find an excuse that made sense.
"Gloria, you don't have to hide the truth from us."
"I'm not. It was just a minor accident."
"Gloria, have you ever thought about leaving this place?"
"Like this apartment building?"
"No, this town. Leave this situation you're in and everything behind including Damian."
"Why would I leave my man?"
"Gloria, are you so blind that you can't see?" Angie raised her voice as she stood up. Diane tried to pull her back into her seat.
"Angie."
"No, don't tell me that Diane. Gloria, this is not a safe place for you. No matter how much you try to cover up the scars and lie about how you got these bruises, we all know what Damian is doing to you."
"He's not—."
"We know he hits you. Gloria, listen to me. You deserve better. If you don't walk away from this before it's too late, you may not be around long enough to tell your story. If he doesn't end up killing this baby but you don't make it, do you really want to leave him to raise this child on his own? You deserve to have a life. Fulfill your dreams and find a man who will actually love you."
"If I leave him, how will I support myself and my baby? I don't have a job or degree. My father is dead and my mother disowned me after I ran away to be with Damian."
"There's one thing I know about mothers. No matter what you do and how long it takes, if you come back, they'll embrace you with open arms. You can have this baby, give it to a loving family, and go back home to have a fresh start."
"I love my baby girl." Gloria cried, rubbing her belly.
"I know, but you have to do what's best for the both of you. Don't bring her into a situation filled with dysfunction and chaos. Give you and herself a good chance at life."
"You're right. I'm really tired of going through the same thing everyday. I try so hard to please Damian but nothing ever seems enough. I know this isn't how love is supposed to go, but this is all I know."
"Then, let us help you."
"How will I find someone to take my baby?"
"I'm willing to take her if you let me."
"Thank you. You two are really Godsent."
*************************************************
"I did everything possible to make it appear that was still pregnant up until the day Gloria gave birth. We arranged for her to have her baby at home with a midwife at Angie's house. After a few days, I brought the baby home and we set it up so that as soon as your father arrived, it would look like I had just given birth. We swore to secrecy so that we would never tell anyone about the deal we made and we would take it to the grave. I gave Gloria enough money for her to go home and never come back again. The only thing she asked for was for your name to be Ariana, which is why that's your middle name. A couple of days later, Damian's body was found in the apartment. He died from an overdose."
"Oh my God."
"I can't believe this."
"Nicole."
"Please don't touch me."
"Why would go and do this test? Out of all the things you could have been doing, this is what you chose to do in your spare time?"
"Don't twist this around. Why would you lie like that?"
"I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you anything that wasn't relevant to you."
"I think I've had enough for one night." I got up from the table.
"We're not done talking about this."
"But I am. You're a monster."
"Excuse me?"
"Every lie that has come out of your h and every secret you have kept have been a means to protect yourself, your image. First, I had to find out you lied about my father being dead to cover up an affair you had that provoked him to commit a crime that landed him in prison. Your actions ended up stealing many precious years of his life and caused me to grow up without him. And now, I'm finding out not only are you not my mother, he is also not my father. You may think that you were doing Gloria a favor, but you only did that to cover up something that didn't need to be concealed. You are so selfish!"
In the blink of an eye, her hand went across my face. The room became silent as I looked at her in shock, holding my left cheek. I felt a tear run down my face. Her face softened and she reached out to me.
"Nicole—." I put my hands up and backed up. It took everything in me to control my temper.
"I'm going to say this as respectful as possible. I'm going to need y'all to get up and leave my house right now before the police are called here to separate us."
"Baby girl, I just want you to know that I had nothing to do with this. No matter what a test says you'll always be my princess."
"Yeah, go ahead and throw me under the bus Omari."
"Diane, I never forced you to do something like this. Even if you wanted to bring in Nicole into our family, you should have just told me."
"Sure. Your mother would have loved it if her precious son was raising a child she knew wasn't his."
"I don't give a f*ck about all of that. Nicole should have been told the truth when she was old enough."
"For what? It's not like Gloria wanted her back or ever came looking for her."
"Get the h*ll out of my house right now!" I screamed.
"Let's go Diane." My father dragged her out by the arm.
"I love you Nicole! No matter what, I'm still your mother!" The front door closed, but I could hear them arguing outside. I covered my ears as I cried profusely.
I managed to call Dewayne through my tears.
"Stop, pause the game! What's up baby?"
"I—I need you to come home."
"I'm on my way. What's wrong?"
"I can't talk on the phone. Just come home."
"I'm coming. I just want you to slow down your breathing. You shouldn't be this upset. It's not good for the baby."
"I'm trying." I really tried to stop crying because it was making it hard to breathe.
"I got you. I got us. I'm on my way."
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