Lu Ten woke groggily, straining his eyes as he felt the sun hit his face. He immediately shut his eyes as he felt the sunlight burning his retinas.
Where am I?
The last thing he remembered was seeing Zuko with a scar entering his cell. He thought it was a dream, or maybe a hallucination.
He had a few of those since his imprisonment started. Between the constant darkness, beatings, and starvation his daydreams were all he had left.
But there's light here. I can feel the sun now. I can feel my inner fire returning...
Lu Ten shakily got up as he tried not to get his hopes up. It had been years since he was able to bend, if he was free then he could finally use his fire again.
Please don't let this be a dream...
Lu Ten let out a shaky breath as his eyes adjusted, finally taking in the room he was laying in.
To his left, he saw Zuko, still with the same scar on his face and murmuring something about a dragon while he slept.
It wasn't a dream...
Lu Ten felt shock and disbelief mix as he slowly took in his condition. He realized with a start that the blood that had coated his body like a second layer of skin was cleaned off.
His wounds that had become a constant were now bandaged and the chains that held his wrists were gone.
I'm free...
The realization hit Lu Ten with full force, the feeling of relief shaking his body as he sobbed silently.
I'm finally free. I didn't die there... I'm still alive.
He thanked every spirit he knew as he breathed in the fresh air and moved his arms around to their full extent.
The air's clean, and I can lift my arms above my head. I did it, I survived...
He fell into a state of giddiness as he tested the limits of his newfound freedom, not even registering the pain he was in.
He was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the apartment door open.
He turned towards the sound and saw his father walk in, looking years older than he remembered him.
"Dad?"
Iroh fell to his knees as he hugged his son, holding him as he felt his heart beating alive and well.
"It's me, son, I'm here."
Lu Ten balled into Iroh's chest as he felt the last of his disbelief melt away.
It wasn't a trick. It wasn't a dream. His father was here and he was free. He wasn't going back to the cell. He wasn't going back to that hell again.
I'm safe...
"I'm sorry son. I'm sorry it took so long. I promise that I'm here now, I promise I won't leave."
Iroh felt his grief erupt as he grabbed his long lost son, holding him close as he took in every breath that his son took.
I won't let you go again...
..........
Iroh brought tea and soup for his son after they had finished crying.
Lu Ten looked like he had a lot of questions, but Iroh wasn't going to answer them until he filled Lu Ten's stomach.
He's gotten so thin. I'll have to feed him extra portions to get him back to a healthy weight.
Iroh served Lu Ten his meal and sat quietly, enjoying the fact that his son was alive and here with him.
Lu Ten meanwhile was trying to finish his meal as fast as humanly possible so he could finally ask what he wanted to ask.
Where are we? Did they remodel the palace, it doesn't look like how I remember it... I thought it was more... regal.
The room Lu Ten had woken up in was nice but it wasn't nearly like how Lu Ten remembered his old home. It had wooden floors instead of marble and the size of the room was small, to say the least.
Maybe we're still traveling? I don't know how long I was out after all.
After Lu Ten finished the meal he finally got to ask the questions that had been running around in his head.
"Father, where are we? What happened after Ba Sing Se?"
Lu Ten was expecting his father to joyfully tell him of how he finally conquered Ba Sing Se to save him. He was expecting grand tales of how he and Zuko accomplished what Lu Ten couldn't and won the war.
What he was not expecting was his uncle's guilty expression as he refused to look Lu Ten in the eyes.
Lu Ten grew wary as his father spoke lowly, "Son, it is a long story..."
Lu Ten clenched his fists warily and tried not to show his panic, "Whatever it is I can handle it. Just tell me what I missed. What happened while I was... While I was trapped down there?"
Iroh let out a worried sigh as he saw Lu Ten's determination, fighting through the tremor in his voice and his hands as he pried for more information.
He is like Zuko... Stubborn to a fault.
Iroh braced himself for his son's reaction as he prepared to tell the story from the beginning.
"Lu Ten, the siege on Ba Sing Se failed. I gave it up..."
........
Lu Ten listened closely as his father told him of how he lost the siege.
How he gave up after seeing his son 'die' right in front of him.
How he traveled the world and came back to the Fire Nation.
Choosing to follow Zuko into banishment and help the Avatar at the North Pole instead of doing his duty.
Choosing to become a traitor instead of capturing Ba Sing Se and saving him.
Iroh watched with a heartbroken gaze as his son let out a shaky breath, his only words being, "You gave up?"
Iroh's voice trembled as tears flowed down his face, "I'm so sorry son. I thought you were dead and I couldn't justify sending more men to die. Sending more sons to be lost to the war."
"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU WIN!? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME!? WHY DIDN'T YOU..."
Lu Ten felt tears flow down his cheeks as his body strained against his rage.
Lu Ten couldn't believe it. He had waited for his father to save him. For his father to win the war so he could go home.
But he gave up... And now he wants to live the rest of his life in the city that tortured me. That...
Flashes of his time in the cell burned through his mind, his breath speeding up as he remembered the beatings and the starving. The darkness and the silence.
Lu Ten felt a burning rage as his father reached for him, trying to calm him down.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Iroh jumped back as Lu Ten breathed fire at him, just like he had taught him to do years ago.
Lu Ten shakily stood up as he looked at his father, who abandoned him. Who chose to save Zuko instead of him?
Hah. He didn't even save me in the end, Zuko did.
Fighting through the pain his body felt Lu Ten growled at Iroh, "LEAVE ME ALONE! FUCK OFF JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN I WAS CAPTURED! DON'T TELL ME YOU CARE ABOUT ME WHEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN SAVE ME!"
Iroh felt his heartbreak at his son's screams. The raw unfiltered hatred coming from Lu Ten was directed solely at him.
Because I failed him. Because I failed to protect my son. What kind of father lets that happen?
Iroh sobbed as he tried to reach for his son again. Tried to tell him how sorry he was. How guilty he felt for leaving his son behind, leaving him to gain all those scars.
"Son, I'm so sorry I didn't know you were alive. If I had known..."
"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU KNEW OR NOT. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WIN! THAT'S WHY YOU WERE THERE. THAT'S WHY..."
That's why I was there...
Lu Ten's breaths turned to gasps as he lost control, his unspoken words hanging in between them.
Lu Ten calmed himself down, as he had learned to do in his years spent in that cell.
He lay back down refusing to look at Iroh as he said, "I want to be alone."
Iroh bit his lip as sobs racked his body, the guilt and shame he felt at his failure seeping into his core.
"If that's what you wish son..."
Iroh slowly got up, his hands shaking as he reached for the doorknob and left the apartment, leaving his son to stew in silence.
......
Lu Ten stared silently at the ceiling, trying to calm the anger and betrayal he felt at knowing he had been left behind.
Even if he thought I was dead how could he give up? All those soldiers died for him. I almost died for him, what gives him the right to give up when I never got the chance to?
Lu Ten was taken out of his thoughts as he heard shuffling next to him.
Oh right, Zuko's still here...
Lu Ten had been excited to see his baby cousin after all this time. He wanted to see how Zuko had grown and how he had improved.
But now he felt a sense of reversion as he looked at Zuko's prone form.
Father went back to take care of him. He went back to save Zuko when Aunt Ursa left but couldn't save me.
Before Lu Ten knew it his hand was reaching toward Zuko, fire lighting his palms as they reached toward his face.
It's all his fault...
Lu Ten's hand reached eerily close to the burn covering Zuko's eye, stopping a centimeter before it.
As the first lick of flame touched Zuko's skin Zuko let out a whimper, and the sound snapped Lu Ten out of whatever spell he was under.
Lu Ten's eyes widened in horror as he retracted his fire, snapping his hand back as far away from Zuko as he could.
What did I just do?
Lu Ten swallowed the bile in his throat, feeling a flood of self-disgust.
I almost burned him. My baby cousin. I almost burned him.
But even as he was flooded with self-hatred a small voice whispered to him, But it's his fault. He was the one that your father chose. If he wasn't around you wouldn't have gone through that hell.
Lu Ten gulped, trying not to think about how close he was to hurting Zuko. How much he wanted to hurt him.
Lu Ten eyed the burn across Zuko's face, the burn he almost added to in his rage.
I wonder how he got it...
During his father's explanation that was the only thing he wouldn't tell Lu Ten about. He told him every traitorous and treasonous thing he had done but refused to tell him about Zuko's scar.
Zuko let out another whimper, whatever dream he was having was seemingly a bad one.
Lu Ten forced himself to turn away from Zuko, shame filling his at the sight of his defenseless cousin.
What's wrong with me... Zuko's my baby cousin. He saved me from that hell and that's how I tried to repay him.
Lu Ten let out a shaky breath as he forced himself to go to sleep, exhausted from the day he had.
It was just an accident. It wasn't Zuko's fault that father chose him over me. He just got lucky and I didn't, there's no reason to be mad at him.
Lu Ten slowly felt himself fading to sleep, his final thoughts scaring him more than anything he experienced in his cell.
If only it was him instead of me.