"Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought"
▸Annie
I don't regret a lot of things but last night I was a fool. I should leave the Jaegerist alone but I can't. Y/N's reaction is priceless and I can see her hating it. Hating me. It's too good.
I didn't mean to record her. Her brother just asked if that was her and my instincts just told me to record. It was horrible but what was she thinking? When I went into Paradiso, I wanted to see her lose. I can't stop thinking about her.
I keep thinking about her... I just need her out of my head. I posted that video to get her to stop coming and it seemed to work. She hasn't shown up for first period.
"Annie." I feel Hitch tap my shoulder. I send my last text to Jean for band practice but someone forces me to turn around. I stumble backward but before I could grab anything, I feel a palm strike across my face.
"Bitch!" I hear Carly shout, I look up and see Y/N standing over me. I swipe my leg under her feet and cause her to fall on her back.
I jump on her stomach and pull her piercing out her ear, not sure what I'm doing but she slapped me first. She throws me off her and punched my lip. I feel hands on her trying to rip her but I hold on.
Her eyes are like lighting, she looks like she wants to hurt me and I love it. She pulls me up to strike me but I charge her, we hit the table and fall again.
•••
My mouth has a hideous cut on the bottom, it stings and I'm slowly regretting my decision.
"If you ever come near me again... I will cut you." She whispered, I see her jaw clench and take a look at her ear. It's bloody, it's her fault for wearing those piercings... they fit her perfectly.
It took our three coaches to pull us apart. I wasn't worried seeing Hange and Erwin but once my eyes landed on Levi? I stood aside.
I see her eyes narrow but her mouth curls into that annoying smile. "I can't wait for them to look into the issue. You can tell them where you got that video."
"They won't believe you... you're a delinquent while my father has a chair in the school's board meetings." I hear her breath hitch. Serves her right, she will never win.
I feel her hands around my throat, she pulls us face to face and my heart pounds. Yes.
She feels like a fucking drug.
Don't want her to let go. I hate Y/N L/N or Jaeger, whatever she is. I close my eyes waiting for her to hurt me. My throat itches and I feel like crying but why? I open my eyes and see her face. She looks uncertain but angry.
A voice behind the door causes her to sit back in her seat. The principal walks in and sits at his desk in front of us. "Ladies."
Rodd Reiss, the principal of this god-awful school that I'm so proud to represent.
"Listen... we're trying to push forward with making the school private. We cannot have mishaps like this happening so for now you're off with the warning."
Y/N stood from her seat and quickly walked out of the room. She seemed upset with the news. Can she not afford it? I wouldn't be surprised. She's leaving anyways so why does she care?
She's leaving me.
I follow behind her, watching her back as she slams into the locker room. Pulling the door wider I burst in right behind her.
"You know," I tell her, "if you didn't want everyone to see, then maybe you shouldn't have been practically fucking her in public"
"You'd like to watch wouldn't you?" She growls, her glare growing sharp. "Like watching porn cause you can't get enough of it? Fucking slut I swear." I pull out a white towel from my locker to clean my lip.
Slut... she called me-
I throw the towel at her. "Here! Have this for your fucked up ear!" She catches it and I see her place it on her ear, her face shows a sign of discomfort.
A tiny pant of guilt hits me but I shouldn't feel it. She attacked me first so I should be celebrating for fighting back. I could've done worse but I just didn't expect it. I did but I didn't.
Ignoring her, I lick the cut on my bottom lip. I sit on the bench in front of my locker and grab wipes. I grind my teeth together and close my eyes, blinking long and hard. Y/N kissed that girl everywhere. Everywhere.
I hear the click of her blade behind me, and I freeze. "Take out your phone," she tells me.
"Why?" I ask, I grab it and put my password in. She pulls it and shows me the video on YouTube. The same video of her practically swallowing Pieck. She puts the blade on my throat and forces me to watch it.
"You see this?" She asks, "this is all you'll ever get to see of me when I'm gone. Just me and the last girl who I'll ever contact after I ditch this place."
My fingers curl in anger. So what? Pieck loves sex I'm not surprised that she would try to screw a snake.
"Take it down!" I posted that video in a blind rage. It was a mistake. She needs to take it down. I didn't mean to post it. "Now you don't want it up? When I do it for you? Or is it the fact everyone will have this when I leave... not only you?" When I leave... I can't see her go. She's so close to my face. I look at her and feel her breath.
She looks into my eyes with such anger but I quickly layer my lips with hers—grazing and inhaling as she stops breathing, I touch her and feel every inch of my body suddenly burn like a firework about to pop. What am I doing?
She releases my hands, and we both grab onto each other as she pushes me into the lockers again. I moan. Yes. Fuck, yes. Our legs thread together. She pulls me back and sits me on top of her as she sits on the bench, she grinds my body on her lap. "Y/N..." I whimper.
I lick her tongue and her breath spikes, she bites my lip, and I taste the metallic liquid. I can't get enough. I'm fucking flying.
She lifts my leg, and I can't stop. Grinding and panting as I slip my hand up her shirt, pulling down her strap, so I can get my hand inside her bra. She dives down to my neck, and I tip my head back, letting her have it all. I want her.
"The fuck are you doing?" She whispers and I can tell she's angrier. I get it... I wasn't afraid I was fucking jealous.
She brings one hand up and grabs the back of my neck, she takes my bottom lip between her teeth. I savor the fire blazing inside my body.
She pulls my skirt and yanks my panties down, she tosses them and pushes me harder on her lap. "Ugh!" I cry out feeling the need to go faster.
I whimper as our pace gets faster. She bites my shoulder and my breathing starts getting heavier. Fuck. I'm close.
I hear a chuckle, I look at her and see a shit-eating grin on her face. God, I hate her... but I've wanted this for so long. I don't feel any excitement for Floch or Bertholdt because I've only wanted her. Since freshman year.
"God." I pant, feeling my stomach turn, I'm so close. "I'm so close."
"Let's skip tonight... meet up with me before the party." She demands. I nod without thinking but I don't have to. I want to do this all night long.
She pulls me faster and before I could come, we hear a loud noise in the air. "I know!" It's Carly Stratmann.
I quickly push her to the side and put my underwear on. I grab my hair tie and fix my hair, Carly and Hitch walk around the corner and see me and Y/N, they stare at us but they don't say anything.
Y/N quickly grabs her books and slams her locker, walking out as if she didn't almost just make me fucking cum. I hate her. I want to fucking end her.
•••
The party with the snakes is tonight. After this morning... I know Y/N doesn't want me there at all. It's Eren's birthday so I should just back off- right?
See you tonight. I stare at the text from Bertholdt and I know I should go. As a saint, we always win and if I don't go I lose... it means I'm scared of being near them. I'll go.
I hear a car and freeze, Hitch is here. It's time to face her... after the locker room. God, I want to do it again.
I run down the steps and quickly jump out the front door, jumping into the passenger's seat, I wish I can be there now... next to her. Make her hate the fact I showed up.
Hitch drives to the museum and it's breathtaking. It's three stories but the third floor is opened from the top with flashing lights.
"Wooo! Snake's know how to party... let's see if their music and alcohol are good." Hitch shouts jumping out of her convertible. I follow behind her and see the other Saints. Jean, Marco, Alissa, and Ryan, not sure where the others are but maybe they're already inside.
We walk up three flights of stairs and the music is booming, and snakes dancing. As I thought earlier, Floch, Reiner, and Bertholdt are already here. But where's the Jaegerist?
The party continues and I just take a cup of alcohol and sit in the corner. I rather not socialize without seeing Y/N. I want to see her jealous.
"Hey!" I hear someone shout, I look over and see Armin, the only Jaegerist here apparently. "Need a ride home?"
I don't since I just got here but why not? Y/N would hate me if I was hitting it off with her brother...again...
"Sure." Armin has been drinking and I can tell. This is easily the stupidest idea I've ever had. Getting in a car with a drunk driver. Just to make another girl jealous...pathetic.
Armin opens the door to a truck and starts it. He pulls out of the parking lot and swerves down the road a bit. The adrenaline is flowing through my body but it's fun. I sit back seeing a bike behind us and another car. It looks like Hitch and Ryan.
"Armin!" He stops the car and the bike passes us. I look and see Y/N, I didn't know she had one, so I quickly hop out of the truck and sit behind her. I wrap my arms around her, feeling the switchblade hooked onto her jeans. "Get off!"
"Just you and me for the next few minutes," I tell her, I squeeze her and she wiggles her bike. "I hate you," she growls. I know.
She revs the bike and takes off, and I smile, tucking my chin onto her shoulder. I close my eyes, squeezing her until I'm sure she can't escape. The wind whips through my hair, and I wish it was day. I wish I could see the clouds but I'm stuck with her during the night.
At least we're under the stars.
She stops in front of a garage and turns the bike off. I continue holding her until she gets up. "Why are you here."
"Why did you put the video back up?" I asked to ignore the question. "Because fuck you." She says. "Why couldn't you just leave me alone?"
I look around the area, the garage, and a few other shops. I look up the street and down a hill and see a house with a flag on it. It looks like wings. Is that where she lives?
"You saints really do follow each other in packs. Like wolves." She laughs, and before I could question her, I see two cars pull up behind her. Hitch charges toward me first and wraps her arms around me. "Are you stupid!"
"Another challenge huh?" Floch shouts as he slams his car door. "Oh yeah!" Armin shouts, still extremely drunk.
"We want you off our turf. We're going to have a little scavenger hunt yeah? We know you saints growing up with happy families played this at your local preschool. The ones we weren't allowed in." Eren replied pulling out his phone. He shows a picture on his phone. It's the wings of freedom flag near the alley closest to the mayor's office.
Y/N grumbles and takes off her leather jacket, she holds it up and stares at her brother. "If we win, you stay away from the tracks. We also want our jackets back." Ryan and Alissa stare at each other.
"Deal!" Floch shouts without hesitation. It's not his decision but he always makes it for everyone. His cocky personality is what makes him gross.
"Alright... snakes versus saints. The first one with the flag back at the party... wins." Eren and Armin jump into the truck and speed down the road, Floch and Hitch jump into the car and follow behind them.
Alissa, Ryan, Mikasa, and Y/N were the only ones left. Mikasa grabs Y/N by the collar and whispers in her ear. "You're helping Eren since you wanted to let them drink knowing saints would be here."
"Like hell I'm helping." She pushes her away but Mikasa just grabs her arm. "If we lose... no New York, and no more Jaegerist."
"Fucking fine!" She shouts. She sits on her bike and revs the engine. Taking one final look at me and speeding off. Mikasa opens the garage door and pulls out another car from the auto body shop, it seemed to be in there for a new bumper and she was taking it. How much do the Jaegerist own?
I grab Alissa and Ryan and pull them up the hill. We run down the road and they look back. "Where are you going? The town is the other way!"
"You know you're house better than anyone! Where's the flag?" I see Ryan's eyes light up. "There's one in the garage!"
We keep running, when we get to the house, of course, the house is locked, but Alissa let Ryan use her shoulders to boost him up. He jumps into the house from a window and a little later unlocks the door.
We rush in and Ryan heads straight into the garage that's next to the front door. I walk straight down the hall and find the kitchen on my right, I see the back door open but looking to my left is the living room.
"It's not here!" I hear Ryan shout, "Fuck!" I hear a crash and rush into the garage. I see Alissa holding Ryan down. He made a huge mess.
"Now I won't have the last thing that reminds me of my father... last thing that reminds me of my twin sister." Ryan cries out, Alissa grabs him and hugs him tightly. I never understood how she could be so heartless to her own family. The three of us jumped after hearing a few knocks at the door.
"Y/N? I'm here." Is that fucking Pieck Finger?! Ryan and Alissa look at the door and run out of the garage. "The fuck is she doing here?!"
We try to run but Alissa falls before we can make it out the back door. I run back and notice the flag on the couch. I grab it but accidentally hit the glass table making it shatter. "Shit!"
I toss the flag over my shoulder but before I could leave, the front door opens and I see Pieck on the other side. "What's this?"
I don't say anything... what can I say? She's a saint but she's too close to a snake... even worse... Jaegerist. "What? Making another sex tape with the snake?" I ask.
I can't trust her but there's no reason not to. I'm surprised she doesn't hate me considering the leaked video... though she doesn't know I posted it. It's also not her fault, Y/N was in total control in that video. Which is why I took it... it hurt seeing it.
"Screw you, Annie! What the fuck are you even doing here?" She yells but I stand my ground. She can't do anything to me I have blackmail for days on her. It's what she gets for hooking up with the boy's soccer team as a coach. "What are you doing here?"
"I was meeting Y/N before the party." Of course, she was. How can Y/N like someone like her? She's weak and simple. She must be a good hookup. "Want a video every time we do it? When she heads off to college you can be our roommate and watch us every night."
I grit my teeth together. I kick her leg and she falls over. "Listen here... you won't be going to college if you mess with her. I'll post your sex tapes and show everyone what kind of a person you are."
I know I'm losing. I'm going to lose her forever. Needles prick my throat, she doesn't deserve this. Y/N doesn't deserve anyone, she doesn't need anyone. but me.
"What the hell?!" Someone shouts. I look up seeing Y/N standing at the door with Eren. He rushes in and chases Ryan out the door. I need to leave now.
I run out the door and hold the flag up. "I have the flag!" I shout running. I see Y/N chase after me while Alissa holds Pieck, why can't Pieck bother her instead of Y/N? She's mine to bother.
I run downhill and Y/N tackles me. She pins my wrist down and pushes me into the dirt. Rain starts to fall and the dirt around me is soon turning into mud. Fuck.
"Get off me!" I order, and she holds me down glaring at me. "This is where you belong! In the dirt... why are you attacking her?!"
I managed to push her off but she grabs me and slams my back on the tree. "Am I supposed to give your ugly attitude a pass just because your mom died? Your father moved on with the next whore and you should too!"
I clench my teeth to hold my chin in place. She can't see me weak. "I let you bully me because I could never care about you. Pieck was your friend and she always has been! She doesn't deserve that."
She must hate me. I should be treated like garbage after my behavior but she changes me. It's the reason why I hate her. I blink the tears away.
I look into her eyes but she doesn't look angry anymore. She almost looks... upset.
"I don't know why I go to that school anymore. I have my credits. I have my scholarship. I don't know why I'm proving to you how much better I am. I'm the bigger person... I'm leaving." She says but my heart stops. What does she mean by that?
"You want me that's why. Everyone sees it." She picks her head up and I see her cocky smile. "Is that what you think?"
She stops touching me and backs away like I'm a virus. "I could never love you. The locker room was just me blowing off some steam."
Don't say that.. I grab her hand and run back to her house, she follows me without removing her hand from mine and I love it. Our contact.
"Annie-" I shush her. I stare into her eyes and grab her face. As I brush my lips over hers, she grabs my hands and pulls them off. "You need to leave."
She walks around me and back outside. I stand still for a moment and listen to her bike running, she leaves and Alissa grabs my shoulder. "We gotta go back."
"Maybe I just wanna be yours"
•••
I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys