song of the chapter: fairytale by alexander ryback
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"Todd." A gentle voice lulled the blonde boy out of a rather peaceful dream, getting him to release a sleepy groan in complaint.
"Todd," the same voice, again. Urging him to wake up, open his beautiful blue eyes to the world. Finally, he did - giving his waker his most grouchy look. Which of course, on the dear boy, looked rather like an angry puppy.
Still, he tried admirably.
"What?" he groaned groggily, mind becoming clearer very slowly. He recalled the play, seeing Neil's wretched father, being kissed, and then falling onto the bed - happy to be leaving reality behind if only to sleep.
Charlie knelt next to the bed, staring eagerly at his tired face. The rest, he noticed, of his friends were lingering about the room as well.
"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," (y/n) sang, standing in Meek's sweatpants near the doorway. Everyone gave various stages of half-asleep greetings, obviously not have awoken of their own accord.
Cameron, however, was not present this morning. At this, Todd's heart began to constrict with what felt like panic.
"Is everything okay?" he begged to know, but their faces betrayed nothing. Nervously, Charlie cast glances to everyone but Todd, as if gaining consensus through telepathy. The moment of quiet let Todd take note of the gray sheen to everything in the room, signaling that the sun had not yet risen and it likely would not - gray skies meant snow.
Finally, Charlie spoke.
"Todd, it's about the Dead Poets Society," and then came the story that possibly altered the outcome of Todd's life, forever.
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That night, following what happened at the Perry residence, (y/n) stood hugging Meeks close to her for many minutes(instead of their usual goodnight ritual), simply breathing him in and relishing in the gratitude that she'd found him in this crazy world.
"Okay," he sighed, pulling away. "you need to get some sleep, darling. I'll see you in the morning for coffee?" The girl smiled slyly.
"You know me too well, Steven. Sweet dreams!" with a wink, they went their separate ways - although sleep did not find the girl that easily.
When she awoke the next morning and did her early yoga; there was nothing the girl could do to get her mind to grow quiet. So many 'what if' scenarios flew about her brain like autumn leaves on a windy day - varying from her possibly expulsion or what might happen if Mr. Perry were to change his mind.
The reality, however, was much worse. Charlie burst into him room in a fury, the spare key she'd given him clutched in his palm. (y/n) was still in her pajamas - sweatpants stolen from Meeks and a fleece shirt - when he finally seemed to realize she could have been changing.
"Shit." he cursed, running an anxious hand through his hair.
"Charlie?" she rushed over, grasping his elbow gently in concern "what's wrong? Is Neil okay?" Irrational thoughts of Neil's skin gone cold and ashen with death by his own hand flooded her brain, causing bile to rise up in her throat.
"No, nothing like that," he croaked. "last night - Cameron went to see Nolan. The little snitch." His voice was a tone she'd never heard before - laced with malice and anger.
"What?" she gasped, understanding his angry reaction. "You don't think he -" but Charlie cut her off.
"I think that's exactly what he told them."
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Now, they stood gathered in Neil/Todd's room, waking the blonde boy up so that he would be ready to see his love appear in the foyer before classes took place - but also to break the news.
"We have to assume that Nolan knows everything," Pitts interjected, tired of being in the background.
"Of course," (y/n) groaned "Of course it would be Cameron." Meeks rubbed her shoulder soothingly.
"What's the worst Nolan going to do?" the boy offered lightly, although his expression turned nervous when (y/n) fixed her gaze upon him.
"Duh!" Charlie exclaimed, flipping open his cigarette case to calm his nerves "Send your pretty little thing back to London." (y/n)'s mouth was set in a grim line.
"I'm more concerned about Mr. Keating," she whispered, deep in thought. Keating could lose his job, his life's passion, his -
"Hey," Meeks held her tighter now "don't do that."
"Do what?" she asked, clearly confused. The pajama-clad group of oddities was silent now.
"You're making that face you usually do," he began shyly "when you're worrying about someone you love." (y/n) felt so much love for him, but the situation required she keep her wits about her.
"Excellent observation, Watson," she said fondly, interlacing their fingers "one to be dissected at a later date. Right now, we need to figure out a plan." Knox, hovering awkwardly, finally nodded and spoke up.
"Yeah, what are we gonna do about him?" He asked, avoiding (y/n)'s gaze. The events of what happened that night at Chet's party still lingered in their relationship - now strained and quite close to disappearing completely. But still, (y/n) knew they were all in this together as a society of romantics, and so she put her disgust on hold. Temporarily.
"Nolan will protect him, right?" Todd said, jumping up and putting on his robe to ward against the chilly air.
"Yeah," Charlie sighed "we won't be able to talk to him, we gotta avoid suspicion."
(y/n) nodded, a plan coming to her mind. "We need to wait for Neil and get his opinion. I have a feeling Cameron gave him our names - but Neil's first since he started this all." Pitts perked up.
"Okay, so he goes after Neil first. What will he want from us?" To that, not even (y/n) had an answer. In reality, what would Nolan do? He couldn't expellthe boys - their parents gave the school too much funding. Keating and her?
Well, she imagined Nolan thought they were dispensable.
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Neil arrived later that morning, dropped off by his father who smiled, genuinely smiled, at his son's friends. Awkwardly, they glanced at one another before waving at him as he drove away.
"Oh, Neil," Todd sighed, grabbing him in for a hug and settling his arms around Neil's slender waist.
"Mmm, you smell like sleep," Neil laughed quietly, taking in the entire moment. The rest of the group quietly made their way inside, giving their two friends a second alone.
It was short-lived, however, when Mr. Nolan was there to greet them.
"Ah," he said victoriously "just the group of gentlemen I wanted to see." His lack of comments toward (y/n) made her grit her teeth in anger.
"Good morning, sir," she offered kindly. He nodded in her direction, before craning his wrinkled neck towards Neil - who Todd was still hugging outside. Briefly, (y/n) saw them exchange words and Neil's eyes widen for just a split second, before he regained his composure.
She could tell, just from their body language, that Todd had informed Neil about the questioning process. They entered the room as well, and then the whole gang was there.
Even, it appeared, Cameron - who poked his red head out from behind Nolan where he was apparently hiding.
"Hey guys," he said awkwardly, and (y/n) was surprised Charlie didn't tackle him onto the ground for having the audacity to even speak to them in the first place.
"I'd like to speak to you all, one by one," Nolan said gruffly "after classes have ended for the evening. Mr Perry, following dismissal, please come up to my office."
Neil nodded obediently. "Yes, sir."
"Wonderful! Enjoy the day." And with that, Nolan was gone, taking the traitor with him.
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Classes that day were a bleak affair, where (y/n) often found herself checking the time - counting down the hours until questioning. English, like most days, was her refuge.
"Neil!" Keating greeted when the brunette boy walked into the room, beaming "my boy, you were fantastic at the play! God, I still feel the chills." Neil laughed, tipping his head back, leaving Todd with a red flush on his cheeks - from (y/n)'s observations.
"I swear, I've never felt more alive than that performance." Neil reminisced, eyes glazing over with memories.
"Yes, it is wonderful how each of us finds ourselves in what we love most, hey gentlemen?" The boys and girl reacted with different words of assent. "Every poet and author we have analyzed during this semester was just like you - young and full of hope. And they turned that hope into something solid - whether it be literature or poetry worthy of the gods." he paused, looking into the young faces.
"So, what will be your moment of full life?" He went into further explanation when no one answered "Come on, boys, what is going to make you grateful for this life? You all should have an answer, or else I should be fired." He chuckled then, but (y/n) squirmed in her seat.
Thankfully, Meeks raised his delicate hand. "Sir? Knowing I loved and was loved back," he hesitated a minute "and maybe going to Yale." Keating clapped his hands loudly, once.
"Yes! Love! Loving is the greatest gift of this lifetime, lads," he looked to (y/n), then back at Meeks "and the goal of bettering oneself through education is admirable as well, Mr. Meeks." The girl glanced over to her boy, who smiled back. And so, she raised her left hand.
"Letting go of expectations." she nearly whispered, but Keating still smiled - the one everyone else noticed was only for her. Neil chimed in.
"No, I say letting go of what everyone else expects of us." She turned and grinned at him, her best friend, who risked everything for the notion of living his own life.
Charlie, from the back, was more than happy to provide an answer. "Leaving a legacy." his voice was serious, his eyes dancing with mischief. "I want people to know my name." Mr. Keating nodded, pointing at him.
"And, Mr. Dalton, I'm sure they will."
"What can I say?" Charlie asked, crossing his legs at the ankle and stretching out. "I like to leave an impression." This time, the whole class laughed.
"Now, if you'll open your anthologies, today we'll take a quick look at verse about the self." From that point on in the day, everything blurred together in colors and words, nothing that relaly stuck with (Y/n).
And, when the dismissal bell rang - she kissed Neil's cheek and wished him luck.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The members of the Dead Poets Society gathered together in a room in which (y/n) had never been, but it appeared to be suitcase storage for the pupils. Apparently, it was "Their" spot for when they needed a cigarette break out of Hager's sight.
Now, they passed around a few lit ones, waiting for Neil to get back from his interrogation and for Cameron to show up for his very own, personal Judgement Day.
"You told him about this meeting," Charlie said it rather like he stated a fact, not asked a question of Meeks.
"Yeah. Twice." Came her lover's reply, which she knew to be true. It was during lunch, when Cameron had eaten separate from their group and Meeks went over to inform him they 'wanted to talk'. Cameron obliged, telling them he'd be there. And again, picking her up from class and spotting Cameron in the halls, Meeks told him again.
Both times, Cameron nervously said he would be there.
"That's it, we're fried," Charlie sighed exasperatedly, his rigid demeanor reflecting how upset he truly was. (y/n) grimaced, her own emotions roiling.
"What do you mean?" Pitts asked innocently.
"If Cameron told them everything, and I mean everything," he paused for a drag of toxins from his cigarette "we'll all be eating shit soon. They'll blame Keating for starting it all when he was in school, and then Neil for starting it again."
"No." (y/n)'s voice trembled - out of anger or fear she wasn't sure - "They won't. Not Neil." The boy's eyes around her widened.
"What?" Todd asked, scoffing "but Neil did - he'll do it to protect us." (y/n) shook her head, curls falling out of her braid.
"No, because I will," she straightened her spine, hoping not to betray the internal conflict being waged within her.
"(y/n), don't," Meeks nearly begged - and while she loved that he cared for her so fiercely, she also knew that this wouldn't end pretty for anyone.
However, it was at this moment that Cameron, man of the hour, decided to make an appearance. There was a flurry of movement - stomping out cigarettes and doing up ties - before they realized it wasn't a faculty member, it was someone worse.
He rounded the corner, apprehension making his movements weak and awkward.
"What's going on, guys?" He asked nervously, either quite oblivious or quite stupid. In this moment, both seemed equally valid to (y/n).
"You finked, didn't you Cameron?" Charlie's voice now was more controlled, stating facts without anger. It made (y/n)'s heart ache - just a little - for the storm Cameron had coming towards him.
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," he lied, very obviously, judging by the way his eyes narrowed and hands twitched at his sides.
"You told Nolan everything about the club." By this point, everyone had stood to back Charlie up.
"Yeah, well," Cameron exploded, pointing a finger to Charlie's face "in case you hadn't heard, Dalton, there's an honor code at this school. If a teacher asks you a question, you tell the truth or you're expelled." The red-haired boy looked angry and self-riotous, but (y/n) didn't have time to think about that as Charlie finally lost it and leapt forwards, only stopping inches from pummeling the boy by Knox and Meeks.
That left (y/n) in front, staring him down. "You don't understand what you've done!" She yelled, wanting to hit him but deciding she had more decency than that. "you've done all this to try save yourself, you disgusting little cockroach! And in clearing yourself, you've damned us all!" she took a breath before continuing. "Yes, you're quite the hero." Her arms crossed, a hip jutted out and she'd saved her best glare just for him.
How special, she thought.
"They're not after us!" Cameron yelled back, feeling more confident now that Charlie had calmed down enough for Meeks and Knox to let go of his arms. "We're the victims!"
"What's that mean?" Charlie demanded, all signs of the carefree, chaotic boy gone - replaced by this cold automaton.
"Keating, of course!" At this, (y/n)'s blood began to boil with rage that she didn't think she had in her "The captain himself! I mean, you guys didn't think he could avoid responsibility, did you?"
"Hey, Mr. Keating's not responsible for shit!" (y/n) retorted, standing her ground to defend the man who'd become her true father after the other left them.
"(y/n), if you really think that - you're delusional! Keating put us up to all this crap, didn't he!"
"That is not true Cameron!" Todd spoke quite loudly - for Todd, at least - in Keating's defense. "And you know that. He didn't put us up to anything, we just loved it!" But Cameron cut him off. (y/n)'s clenched fists had begun to tremble, and not even Meeks grabbing on in his own hand could calm her nerves.
"Believe what you want, but I say Let Keating Fry!" That was it - that was the last straw. "I mean, why ruin our lives?" Between one moment and the next, she was standing near Meeks, her hand in his for support, and then next her entire vision went blurry - before hearing a crack of a broken nose.
Cameron careened backward into a stack of luggage, clutching at his face - which was bleeding profusely. (y/n)'s own knuckles were split, and the pain was throbbing mercilessly.
"Woah! Hey," Meeks grabbed her around the waist, pulling her back. Obviously he was scared she'd keep hitting him, and immediately her anger was diffused - replaced with shame like a heavy linen cloth over her entire personality. The rest of the boys, despite the situation, cheered.
"Hope you've got a plane ticket booked for London." Cameron spat, before leaving the room with haste after once again - encouraging them to let Keating take the blame. After the door slammed shut, everything was quiet again - save for the girl's little whimpers.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" Charlie was almost laughing - such a contrast from the boy earlier who almost acted violently.
"Yeah," she whispered, snuggled into Meeks' chest. "He wasn't worth it. Look at my pretty skin, all bloody." Todd shook his head, smiling. Neil, thankfully, was finally back from Nolan's office.
"What, did I miss all the fun?" He asked, waltzing into the room nonchalantly and seeing (y/n)'s bloodied hand being cradled in Meek's loving ones.
"Should've seen her," Knox smiled and shook his head. The atmosphere in the room was overall less constricting and full of hate, but instead she felt that they had all come together and were holding each other up.
They didn't need Cameron, they needed kindred spirits like one another to keep it all afloat.
"What are we gonna do?" Todd wondered aloud, Neil's head resting on his shoulder.
"They want us to sign a document," Neil had recounted the story of the evening to them all. "proving that Keating was responsible to get him kicked out."
"How can they do that?" (y/n) spoke incredolusly, all her earlier spitfire leeched out the more her knuckles hurt.
"It's easier, and cheaper." Charlie shrugged, simply speaking in plain truth.
"Assholes," she muttered in return.
"Okay, let's make a pact." Neil spoke confidently, looking to each of his friends in turn. "We don't sign, Keating doesn't sacked. They can't get rid of all of us, can they?"
A feeling of optimism entered the room.
"No," (y/n) said, smiling brightly. "We're the musketeers. We do it together or not all." Charlie rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway.
"Cheesy, but I agree." (y/n) stuck her tongue out at him, and Pitts nodded.
"All for one and one for all!" he cheered awkwardly, when no one else returned the cheer. (y/n) tsked.
"Come on, lads," She stood up and brushed her skirt off before sticking her bloodied hand out in front of her. Neil leapt up to join, sparking a chain reaction. Todd, who'd follow him into hell and back, placed his on top of theirs. Meeks, ever devoted to his goddess among women, followed suit. Knox, albeit begrudgingly. Pitts was just excited to have started something.
Then, they all turned to Charlie.
"All right, all right," he surrendered, stubbing out a cigarette before placing his hand on top of everyone's.
"Say it." (y/n) commanded sweetly, earning a groan from her lovely Nuwanda.
"All for one and one for all," he mumbled, looking at the ground.
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that?" She cupped her free hand around her ear, leaning in.
"I said, 'all for one and one for all'!" Charlie's voice rang out, like an anthem in her heart.
"Yeah!" Neil cheered, drawing it out. Together, they laughed, the stress of the day leaving like the tide from a beach - gently and with certainty.
None of them were alone. They had each other.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
a/n: y'all this chapter is full of little musical references from both hamilton and the greatest showman heehee i am just a loser ignore me lol.
hint: "and in clearing your name, you've ruined our lives" 👀
anyways, another long one but oh welllll also love youuu<3
- chloe