The room was dark and the tv was low but loud enough to not drown out my thoughts. Everyone had fallen asleep but I couldn't. The meds my doctor gave me to progress my labor made my contractions extra painful. But nothing was worse than my broken heart. The door opened slowly and Carter walked in with the boys behind him. It was 4 in the morning and he looked tired and sleepy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he hugged me so tight and I bursted into tears.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I cried. He held me so tight and wiped my tears.
Listen to me that is not your fault you hear me? It is not your fault!
But...
No buts Asia! It's not your fault. That Nigga paid for what the fuck he just did don't even worry about it you hear me?
Where is Harmony?
She's in the car with Steph sleeping. I didn't wanna bring her up and wake her up. She's fine. She safe he didn't touch her or do anything to her. She said he made her dinner and they watched a movie. They was at his mom house.
What did you do to him?
Don't worry about that...
No Carter I wanna know!
Trust me no you don't!
Yes I do! Tell me! I need to know....
Asia no you don't!
Please I need to know...
He took a deep breath.... "Why!"
Because I need to know he died a painful death.!
Asia the shit I did to him and his family is disgustingly disturbing!
Tell me!
No!
Yes!
I'm not going to argue with you about this. It was bad that's all you need to know okay! What the doctor say? What's going on?
They haven't been back in here since we got off the phone. These contractions hurt!
How far apart are they?
Like 10 minutes.!
It'll be all over soon Ight!
I nodded my head and he wiped my tears. "It's gone be okay!" I put my head in his chest and he held me as I cried. This was not how I pictured my life to be going right now. I was looking forward to having my son.
______________
A few hours later I woke up in unbearable pain. I felt sick to my stomach. I tried to sit up but couldn't. I also felt like I had to push.
Want me to get the nurse? Carter asked sitting up from the chair. I nodded my head and he left the room.
You okay? D asked coming over to me. I just shook my head no.
A nurse came in and she put everybody out to check my cervix. I was at 10 centimeters and ready to deliver my unborn child.
I love you! Carter kissed my forehead and stroked my hair back.
Okay mama. Your gonna push on your contractions okay! My doctor said as a team of nurses was coming into the room. I grabbed Carters hand and layed back scooting to the bottom of the bed.
You got this baby! Carter said. His face showed no
Emotion.
I gotta push! I took a deep breath and began to
Push as Carter and my nurse held my legs up. I squeezed his hand so tight. I took deep breaths and pushed again.
I broke down in tears as I delivered my son. Not hearing him cry as he came out was completely heart breaking. Carter had tears in his eyes and he wiped mine. I couldn't stop crying holding this small
Lifeless baby that laid in a blanket as I held him. He was so small and he had all of Carters features. Carters genes was so strong. The anger and hurt I was feeling was so overwhelming.
He was 5 once's and 6 inches long. He was so tiny. The nurse took his little hand print and footprints and put it on a card for us.
What's his name? A nurse asked as she unhooked a monitor from me.
I looked at Carter and he just pulled me closer to him. We hadn't even gotten the chance to talk about any names. I was so devastated to say the least.
I'an cause it's close to I'lan and his middle
Name is Levi, cause it's Hebrew for Harmony. Mitchell! He said finally speaking.
That's beautiful! The nurse smiled.
I couldn't take my eyes off of him I was so hurt.