~ For I will not dare to speak of any of those things which Christ hath not wrought by me, to make the Gentiles obedient, by word and deed. ~ Romans 15:18
Yo, I started getting into The Way of The House Husband and Inuyasha yesterday and so far I'm enjoying the very much— I'm loving the dynamic between Inuyasha and Kagome but I'm only on episode four rn, so I have plenty of time to see it express itself more and The Way of The House Husband is hilarious, I couldn't stop laughing at the cockroach episode!
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It wasn't hard to get back home after all the commotion, an air of smug victory lightly coating the five as they sat on the roof and hood of the Camaro— the elevator doors sliding open to reveal bright colors of gold and green, luxurious paintings worth millions laying around the flat.
After getting settled in, the group made over to the table, wolf pushing away stacks of money and replacing it with a now candle lit birthday cake.
Wolf leaned on the back of a chair, throwing up and arm lazily. "All right, Piranha, you're up."
Grinning, the short stack jumped on the table and started vocalizing as Snake didn't even bother to look at him. "Oh...~"
It was clear Piranha was getting way to into it, even going as far as to sing in Snake's face. "Happy bir—!" His face dropped when Snake just blew the candles, his own deadpanned face not changing as everyone groaned.
Webs stepped out of her chair, her arms out in exaggeration. "Seriously?"
"Snake, come on," Wolf shrugged his behavior, his happy smile lighting up even more as his raised his golden goblet. "At least make a toast."
Shark, Webs, and Piranha quickly agreed, easing their own goblets. "Toast! Come on!"
"Come on!"
Snake grunted before sighing. "Okay, okay. All right. A toast!"
"Whoo!"
"Fine." Snake leaned back into his seat, his covered foot holding his goblet as he made a contemplative face. "I've made a lot of enemies in my time... and I mean, a lot."
Snake held up his goblet, a smirk playing on his lips. "But out of all the people in the world, I hate you guys the least."
"Aw~" Everyone cooed tearfully at the beautiful sentiment Snake gave as Wolf only smirked back.
"That was... actually kind of beautiful." Piranha sniffled, gratefully taking the handkerchief Webs passed him.
"You a poet, man." Shark mutters, his face jumbled up adorably.
Wolf interrupted them with a chuckled and a shake to his head. "To Mr. Snake and his strange dislike of birthdays."
Everyone cheered again as they clanked their goblets together soon squishing Snake in the middle as Wolf held up a polaroid camera.
"Everyone say, 'Robbery!'"
"Robbery!"
"Oh~" Wolf cooed to himself after the flash went off, staring into the picture "Look at those dimples~"
His eyes softened when Snake snatched the picture away from him. "Happy birthday, buddy."
"Okay." Snake nodded, gently tugging the picture into the pocket of his shirt before waving his leg. "Now, dig in, fellas!"
"Yes!" Everyone jumped back when Piranha cackled, jumped back on the table and destroying the cake like a wild child on their birthday party.
"Piranha!"
"Don't do that! That was so gross!"
"That was my lunch, Man!"
"Eh?! You snooze, you lose!"
Snake ignored the commotion, sneaking towards the fridge that was decorated in so many polarized photos of him and his friends as he lifted his foot and took out the photo from his shirt— sliding it under a light blue circular magnet.
He gave it a warm smile before opening the freezer. His eyes lit up at the only orange flavored push pop. "Oh, nice!"
Sticking the end into his mouth, he slammed the fridge closed and turned around, ready to devour the ice-cold delicacy—
Only to jump back when Shark's face came into his view. He rolled his eyes at the beggar eyes he was getting. "Ooh, wow!"
"I forgot we had those Push Pops." Shark followed him like a lost puppy, bright blue eyes never straying from the push pop. "Man, my tummy is rumbling like a kraken right now!"
"Meah." Snake's voice was muffled, but you could understand what he said before he lifted his leg and held the push pop with his toes— holding it out to Shark, making him go cross-eyed. "Want it?"
Watching the scene with Wolf and Piranha, Webs blew and popped a piece of mint gum, raising a eyebrow at Shark's enamored expression to the cold treat. "You know he's not gonna give it to you."
"No," Shark swallowed down his hungered saliva, laughing slightly as he shook his head at Web's doubtfulness. "I believe that deep down... Snake is a kind and generous soul."
Snake's own malicious smile stretched across his face in reply, deeply pleased by his begging. Webs squinted at Sharks' hopeful expression, blowing her out gum again. "Why?"
Shark sweat dropped at her response before snake held out the push pop. "Here. Take it."
"Oh, yeah!" Shark shook out of his stare and cheered, giddily jumping his feet before opening his mounts wide. "Pop me, please!"
Wolf, Webs, and Piranha leaned forward, eager for what happened next. "Ah..." Snake was generous enough to let him have a lick before snatching the push pop back and tossing the entire thing into his mouth.
"Ha!" Shark watched with a broken heart as the indents of the push pop could be seen going down to Snake's stomach. But the no-armed man only laughed at his misfortune. "Sucker!"
"Come on, man!" Frowning, Shake started to warm up, rolling his shoulders back. "Now you gonna make me get all aggressive!"
Shark's eyes turned into slits before he dived at Snake and chaos erupted in the flat, Wolf ducking to avoid a flying piece of table as he fixed the stolen watch on his wrist, a cool scoff leaving him as he then fixed his suit.
"Animals." He commented, smirking as he left the dining room.
"Spit it out! Spit it out!"
"Never!"
"Stop fighting! Piranha, put that chair down!"
The vitiligo man ruffled his hair as he relaxed into the couch with a deep sigh, spreading his legs and grabbing the remote. "Let's see what they're saying about us today."
"What up? It's Tiffany Fluffit, Channel 6 Action News." A peach colored woman furrows her eyebrows at the camera, wearing a purple button-up blazer jacket with an undershirt and a pearl necklace, along with a mini skirt and high-heels. Her black hair is parted down the middle with bangs on her right side. "The Bad Guys have struck again...!"
Wolf threw his head and called out to the other as Shark was trying to strangle Snake. "Guys, guys, stop it. We're on TV!"
They stopped, their gaze snapping to the TV as Shark spit out Piranha. The two-foot menace laughed when he hit the floor with a pathetic splat. "Ooh, ooh!"
"... proving once more that they are the most diabolical criminals of our time!"
"Ooh," Webs snickered, titling her head with a grin. "diabolical." That's new."
"Know what it sounds like? A cologne!" Shark spread out on his own couch, waving his arms away from his face with narrowed eyes and a playful rizz face. "Diabolical."
They laughed at his play before paying attention to the TV again. "To address this heinous crime spree is the newly elected governor and secretary, Diane and (Y/N) Foxington."
"Governor?" Shark titled his head confused, not understanding the political way of things as Wolf sat up a little— eyeing the TV with a newfound interest.
"Secretary?" The elected in question wore a light gray one button blazer jacket with a button-up green undershirt and dark gray slacks. A pair of white rimmed round glasses settled on the bridge of her pierced nose along with silver trimmed emeralds pierced into her ears, a clipboard tucked into the crook of her elbow— a blank look on her face.
(Y/N) stood a little ways behind Diane as the orange haired woman quickly calmed down the crowd. "Okay. Yeah. I hear you, I hear you. Listen, listen— we all know how dastardly the Bad Guys are."
"You bet we are!" Wolf cheered, a sharp grin playing in his face.
"But more than anything..." Diane chuckled. "I feel sorry for them."
His face dropped in shock along with the others. "What?"
"These so-called 'Bad Guys' are really just second-rate has-beens," Diane smiles, lifting her head to the side and showing off the piercing in her left eyebrow. "Behind their amateurish antics and, frankly, unoriginal capers..."
Wolf's normally calmly collected expression was completely gone, replaced with silent frustration as Diane kept talking. "I mean, really, another bank? Is nothing but a deep well of anger..."
"I ain't angry!" Piranha yelled, clenching his fists in heat he says isn't anger. "You're angry!"
"...denial..."
Webs glared at the TV, crossing her arms and turning sharply. "Not true!"
"...and self-loathing."
Snake sneers, his body shaking in fury. "The only one I self-loathe is you."
"And those are holes that no amount of cash or priceless art can ever fill."
Releasing his right expression, Snake looked around at the furious gazed of his friends and sighed. "What's on the Food Network?"
"So, can we just forget about The Bad Guys..."
"Who-who is she to judge us?" Wolf muttered to himself angrily, feeling the hair on his head bristling up in his frustration as he continued to glare at the TV.
"...and focus on more positive things?"
Diane smiles as she turned around and waves an arm to her sister, stepping back to let her take the stand and she placed the clip board down on the podium.
Clearing her throat, (Y/N) drops the blank expression from earlier and gives a friendly smile, "And there is no other positive way to do that then the Annual Good Samaritan Awards, where tomorrow night our governor will present the Golden Dolphin to this year's goodest citizen."
Before (Y/N) could provide further details of the Awards— Wolf shut the TV off, too upset with Diane to ogle at her face as he looked down with a thoughtful expression.
"I can't believe I voted for that woman." Webs muttered, running a hand through her pixie cut before messing with her headphones with jittery fingers.
"You voted for her?!" Piranha's jaw dropped as Shark scratched his hair in confusion.
"What?! She's good on climate change."
"You guys talkin' 'bout the governor or the secretary?"
"Wait." Snake caught on to Wolf's face easing up, a look of mischievousness take over. "What's going on? You've got that twinkle in your eye."
Wolf said nothing as he stood up. "Guys, who's up for another job?" He walked towards the windows, pulling back the blinds. "A big one."
A billboard of the Golden Dolphin shines brightly from the lower light and they gasped when they caught on to what he was talking about. Snake wasn't impressed at all. "The Golden Dolphin? Seriously?"
"Oh," Piranha felt insecure, looking away and playing with his hands. "I thought I was the crazy one."
"That job has broken every criminal who's tried it!" Snake stepped off the couch with a look of disbelief. "The Bucharest Bandits, Lucky Jim.
Shark raised his hand eagerly. "The Crimson Paw and the Green Claw!"
"Actually, the Crimson Paw and the Green Claw were never arrested." Webs corrected Shark, smiling when Snake shook his head at her in acknowledgment.
"Yeah, but they never stole anything again."
"Snake," Wolf gave a fanged grin, rubbing his hands as he cooked up step after step of a wondrous plan. "what better way to wipe that smirk off the governor's face than stealing the Golden Dolphin from right under their noses?"
"This is the Holy Grail of thievery." He pointed to the billboard as he threw an arm around Snake's shoulders. "If we pull this off, we'll cement our legacy as the greatest criminals of all time!"
"Whoa, whoa, buddy!" Snake shook his head, bothered by all of this. "I thought we weren't supposed to make things personal."
He shrugged, a easy smile on his face as he relaxed at his own thoughts. "Besides, we've got a good thing going here," He gestured Wolf to look around. "Friends, freedom, and just look at this loot!"
Wolf has a weary expression on his face as Snakes' reasoning, his hair drooped over his forehead. He surrenders, sitting on the window seal. "All right, you're right. Forget it. The Dolphin job is off."
Pleased with his acceptance, Snake nodded and turned around. "Good."
Wolf smirked as he rubbed his chin. "I guess the man and his pig will get their trophy after all."
"Yeah, I guess he would..." Snake stopped, confused as he titled his head at Wolf. "What do you mean, 'pig'?"
"Oh, yes," Wolf looked surprised himself, chuckling as he played off his confusion. "did I not mention that? That's weird. I thought I mentioned that it was, uh..."
His hand accidentally slipped and pulled on the next blind, causing it to roll up and show the other half of the billboard. A short man with a small guinea pig in his hands.
"The Good Samaritan has..." Shark didn't finished his sentence, still confused on what was going So Webs decided to fill in for him.
"A guinea pig?" She couldn't ask more since the three were surprised at Snakes' hypnotized expression— a shudder of want running through his body at the sight of the rodent.
"What do you say, Snakey?" Wolf has a large, teasing smirk, his hands out leisurely with his head tilted. "Better than cake."
The crew started to laugh at him before Snake threw his head down and grunted in annoyance. "Right! Okay, fine!"
Snake then squinted at the vitiligo man. "But that thing better be delicious."
Wolf jumped in his place with a laugh, clapping before throwing his hand in the middle of everybody. "Are we all in this together?"
His question was answered as everyone placed their hand over the other.
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Note: Okay, I am leaving for North Carolina and South Carolina so I wanted to get a quick chapter in before I left!
I hope you enjoyed this one, and I'm a 1st quarter in for Kakuchou in TKP— so be paired for that like you guys always are!
AND MERRY CHRISTMAS IN ADVANCE TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE IT AND TO THOSE WHO DON'T!!
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End Note: IF THERE IS ANY MISSPELLINGS OR MISSING WORDS LET ME KNOW ❤️❤️❤️
Word count: 2453