A month into the recording process, the five of them were on a plane to the UK.
Jinxx had known they were playing Download Festival again this year, but it was still a little surreal to think about. Particularly as this year they wouldn't be so awkward with each other―the previous year's Download had been shortly after their relationship had turned into something more, and it had made things a little awkward between them as they tried to get used to the affection.
More than that―he was sober this time.
Jinxx wasn't going to pretend being clean again wasn't a struggle. It was―and after their first meeting with Feldmann, it had only gotten harder. It didn't help that Andy, Jake, and Ashley still drank, nor that CC kept asking if he was allowed to yet (Jinxx was worried Andy was getting close to relenting just to stop his pestering). Jinxx knew they tried not to around him, but the fact of the matter was their solution to every problem remained alcohol, and they were constantly around other people who drank―and it was so, so incredibly hard not to join them.
Somehow, he was forcing himself through it. It'll get easier, he reminded himself every time he came close to slipping. It always has before. It will get easier to manage.
It never felt that way.
To no one's surprise, it was an overcast weekend again when their plane touched down in Leicester Airport. Andy stared out the window as the plane's wheels touched the tarmac, shaking his head. "Typical England," he muttered, grinning at the rest of them, spread out across the whole row. "Dreary and wet."
Jinxx smiled from where he sat with his head resting on Jake's shoulder―it had been a long flight, and he doubted anyone could really see them except the stewards anyway. "But we love it anyway."
Andy laughed. "True that."
The five of them made it to their hotel in one piece, after a quick reunion with their bus driver from the previous times they'd been to the UK. With their warpaint―though considerably lessened from what it had been this time last year―Jinxx was sure they made a rather strange sight for the receptionist that handed Andy their key cards.
They'd only reserved the two rooms for themselves, and a third for the crew guys that had come with them―only a few, as the festival had its own staff. Jinxx followed Jake into one room to set his stuff down, and smiled as Jake pulled him into a kiss the moment his guitar case was safely out of his hands.
"Cuddling on the flight wasn't enough?" Jinxx laughed when Jake drew back.
Jake raised an eyebrow at him. "Is it ever? Come on, Jinxxy, you know me better than that."
Jinxx kissed him again, lightly. "I do."
Jake studied his face, a soft, radiant smile gracing his lips. Jinxx smiled a little, too. "What?"
Jake reached up, tracing the lines of his face with gentle fingers; almost despite himself, Jinxx let out a soft purr at the sensation. "Just...you," Jake shrugged. His eyes roved over Jinxx's face, as if trying to memorize it. "You're beautiful."
Jinxx was certain he'd be blushing if he were still able to do that. "You are too," he mumbled, abruptly shy―though he shouldn't be; this was Jake, after all, who he'd known and loved for sixty years.
Jake kissed him, slow and sweet, his hand in Jinxx's hair; when he pulled away, Jinxx was smiling.
"What's brought this on, Jake?" he asked.
Jake shrugged, a faint smile still lingering on his lips. "Just...a lot seems to have been happening really fast lately. I mean, we've already got three songs completely tracked and done―we only started like a month ago. And we're playing a fucking festival, which you know is going to be chaos―" He broke off and shrugged again. "I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how beautiful you are. A moment away from all the insanity."
Jinxx smiled at him. "Well, it's appreciated," he said, and allowed himself to be kissed again, losing himself in the taste of Jake's lips, the inquiring flick of his tongue requesting entry, the way kissing him like this felt so right, like it had been meant to be. Losing himself in Jake, and letting everything else fall away.
A knock at the door startled them apart; before either of them could answer it, the key sensor beeped and turned green, and CC strode into the room.
"Andy and Ashley have decided they're not going to leave that room anytime soon," he declared, striding past them and throwing himself onto the bed. "Despite the fact that we've got the first round of press in like an hour. So I decided to join you two."
Jinxx exchanged a glance with Jake before they both laughed, joining CC on the bed. A bit of maneuvering had CC settling in a position across both of their laps, his head resting on Jinxx's left arm, his weight a comforting familiarity. The drummer seemed content to stay in that position, grinning up at them both.
"Hello," he joked.
Jinxx laughed and stole a kiss. "Nice to see you too, Ceese."
"Why do you call me that, anyway?" CC asked, twirling one of his drumsticks through his fingers―Jinxx hadn't even seen him take it out of his pocket. "I mean―I kinda like it, but you've never told me why you started calling me that."
Jake considered, looking at Jinxx as if Jinxx knew. "I think we just adopted it because Andy nicknamed you that," he said. "You'd have to ask him."
CC snorted. "That'll happen."
"Just because he's currently preoccupied..." Jinxx started, and laughed when CC scowled.
"I know. But―" He shook his head. "You know how he is with answering questions. He'll either give me a bullshit answer, shut down, or just be really flippant about the whole thing―and man, I just want an honest answer out of him for once." The fledgling drummer sighed. "I don't know how we're going to survive this fucking press circuit."
Jinxx carded his fingers through CC's hair somewhat absently. "We'll manage. We always do."
CC purred softly, then looked a little startled. "I didn't realize I could do that now."
"What, purr?" Jake laughed. "It's a vampire thing."
"Don't tell me I'll get used to it," CC warned, and both Jake and Jinxx laughed again. Jake leaned over to kiss him.
"Wouldn't dream of it, Ceese," he grinned.
CC shook his head. "You're teasing me."
"You're not making it hard," Jinxx pointed out, stealing a kiss as well.
CC grinned. "Fair point." He sat up, shifting so he was sitting in the space between Jake and Jinxx and letting out another content purr when he'd settled. "This is comfortable."
Jinxx smiled at Jake, then rested his head on CC's shoulder. "Quite."
CC laughed, the sound still warm and human, and slipped his arm around Jinxx, pulling the guitarist close. Jinxx let him, quietly enjoying it―the easy affection, the casual clinginess the fledgling posessed. So familiar now, but still so new, so unusual. Jinxx had never had this sort of bond before―not with Kian, certainly not with that boy he'd had a crush on the night of the massacre. It was new, different, and exciting―but also felt as natural and comforting as playing his violin, or long ago, his brother's embrace.
Jinxx thought as he settled more comfortably into CC's side that whatever it was, whatever it meant, it couldn't possibly be a bad thing.
―――――――――――――――
The press after their scheduled showtime was perhaps the most eventful.
Andy barely remembered the actual show―it had all been a blur of singing, roaming the stage, listening to the crowd screaming his lyrics back at him, and brief moments he took to admire his boyfriends as they gave it their all. It didn't help that he'd been drinking again―always, some small part of him that was disgusted with his own behavior sneered.
The chill air, while not entirely a problem with his resistance to temperature, hit him only after they'd retreated back offstage, their instruments packed away as they prepared for the barrage of interviews. He glanced among the others. "You guys feel that?"
"A little," Jinxx replied. "Not enough to be detrimental, but it's gotta be pretty cold if we can feel it at all."
"It's fucking June," CC complained. "I know we're in England, but why is it so fuckin' cold?"
Jake shook his head, subtly taking CC's hand as they walked. "Fuck if I know."
"How many interviews are we scheduled for?" Jinxx questioned. "The less time we're out here, the better."
Andy understood his concern, despite the fact that the clouds were thick enough to block out most of the sunlight. "A fair few―at least five, I think, but given the amount of reporters gathered I wouldn't be surprised if it was more than that," he replied.
Jake groaned. "I hate this part. It's not bad doing press necessarily, but you know they're gonna be asking the same five questions every five minutes when we switch reporters."
"Yeah, I get it," Andy muttered darkly as the five of them approached the wall of reporters chatting with various members of bands that had played already today. "But we're gonna have to endure it."
Most of the interviews blurred together just as much as the performance had―Andy was beginning to get a little worried that time was slipping away from him so much, but told himself to shake it off and focus. He was most awake in the NME interview, when he'd had Jinxx beside him and surreptitiously held his hand the entire time; after that things became blurred again. Andy wondered if it was the alcohol, though he couldn't see why it would be―his vampire healing kept most of the extra side effects at bay, even if the tainted blood did little to absolve his growing hunger except make it slightly easier to ignore.
Because of course, somehow most of them had ended up with alcohol in their hands again―though Jinxx was doing an admirable job of staying away from it, despite their active drinking. Andy felt a pang of guilt wash through him every time he caught Jinxx tearing his eyes away from the cup in his hands, but never once did it occur to him that setting aside the cup could help him manage the withdrawal.
Andy's focus sharpened when the five of them met up with a reporter he recognized, the representative for Total Rock. Andy stood shoulder-to-shoulder with his boyfriends (all of them in considerably less warpaint than ever―even Jinxx had forgone most of his signature stripes, though they still covered his arms); the five of them were huddled together, the cold beginning to get to even them. CC was smoking; all of them except for Jinxx still held their half-finished cups, not that any of them were currently drinking. On Andy's right, Ashley was shivering violently; the reporter stood at his left, facing a cameraman as he introduced himself and started off the interview.
"It's Jeff Leach here for Total Rock at Download 2012, I'm here with the Black Veil Brides," the British reporter said smoothly, turning to them. "Guys, you smashed it a little on the stage―"
Andy interrupted him. "It's COLD!" he exclaimed.
"It is cold, it is cold," Leach said, taking the interruption in stride.
Beside Andy, his voice almost lost in the wind to even Andy's enhanced hearing, Ashley complained, "I can't feel my hands!" Surreptitiously, Andy reached over, searching for his grip; Ashley's fingers found his briefly, but with the cigarette in Andy's hand that he'd nearly forgotten about and the fact that Ashley's left hand held his cup, it didn't last long.
Leach breezed on, apparently without noticing anything amiss. "I feel―I've gotta say, first of all, that it's very rare that I feel so emasculated by beautiful boys, but you're all making me look a bit ugly."
Andy couldn't tell if he was trying to flirt or if it was a backhanded compliment, but he said, "We're men. We're pretty-ass men."
"You are!" Leach agreed enthusiastically.
Andy continued as Jake and Jinxx laughed at the other end of the line. "And I don't mean pretty ass men, like we have―we're pretty men!"
"Well, you look like you've got pretty asses as well," Leach responded nonchalantly; Jake and Jinxx were still laughing.
CC blew smoke into the air and grinned. Whatever he said, Andy didn't catch it, but he did hear Jake's laughing voice as he pointed to CC and said, "He doesn't even have one!"
"We're not―we're not like a superhero that's made out of an ass," Andy said seriously, though he could feel a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth too. "Which would be Ass-Man."
His boyfriends laughed and grinned at him as Leach tried to steer the conversation back to an actual interview―though his own grin was contagious. "How did you find the Download crowd today? 'Cause I know you guys have been uh―I think you look mind-blowing, you sounded incredible, you're very professional―but some―you got a bit of stick from some of the fuckin' idiots in the crowd, and then others were absolutely lovin' it. D'you find that kind of split between them?"
"Well you're a good-looking guy, you should know, people give shit to good-lookin' dudes," Andy said, and Leach shrugged in modest acceptance of the compliment. He wasn't lying―he was good-looking―but Andy really hoped he hadn't taken that to his head.
"Yeah, that's the reality, isn't it?" Leach agreed.
"Yeah, yeah," Andy said, and let the smile spread onto his face as he looked back over his boyfriends.
"This is, uh, it's, uh―" Leach grinned at the camera, then gestured back to Andy. "He's like the most beautiful, like, like, sweet thing, and your voice is like liquid butter―" Andy may have preened a little, enjoying the compliments, feeling his boyfriends' eyes on him and smiling wider; now he really wanted to get out of the cold and be with them.
Leach wasn't finished, glancing at the cameraman and continuing, "Yeah, I've got a―"
"Andy's got a cru-ush," Jake singsonged, and Andy laughed, shaking his head at his guitarist as the rest of them laughed too.
"Yeah, I do, it's weird, I like―I'm questi―I'm questioning myself every moment I'm next to you," Leach chuckled.
You mean you weren't already gay? Andy thought wryly. That's interesting, considering how quickly you started trying to get into my pants.
"We're a polarizing band, man, you love us or you hate us," Ashley said, and Leach directed the mic at him, both oblivious to Andy's thoughts. "You feel passion about this band."
"And that's what I'm saying, 'cause it's like a UK crowd as well, and that may be intimidating, 'cause you're an American band, you fuckin' do very well, you're incredible―"
CC leaned forward; Leach pointed the mic at him. "Penis envy," he said matter-of-factly, and Andy was torn between laughing and groaning; Jake, Jinxx, and Ashley all laughed. "That's all I gotta say. I mean..."
Andy took over. "Everyone envies CC's penis," he said, grinning at his drummer, who hurriedly tried to backtrack.
"Well, I-it-it, you know, it's got―it's got a mind of its own," he said, digging himself a deeper grave. "They noticed it even from behind the drumset."
"Go to, uh, go to www.littlebrown.org for more information on..." Andy grinned, purely teasing now, and once more everyone laughed.
CC's laughing reply of "Look at that, guys, my dick has an organization!" got lost in the wind as Leach pulled the microphone back.
"Well, what have you guys got planned for the―for the coming months, then? 'Cause you're going to be doing a festival circuit over here, I imagine?"
"Um," Ashley said before Andy could so much as open his mouth, "after we leave here we go on tour with Mötley Crüe and Slash."
"Oh, okay," Leach nodded. "I've―I've heard of those guys, they're apparently quite good, they're quite big in the game."
"Yeah, yeah, no, they've been―they've been around for a little bit, um..." Jinxx said, and Leach extended the microphone to him with a smile.
"Up and coming," CC joked, smiling at him as Jinxx ducked his head to hide his own.
Andy laughed; Leach tried to speak again. "Have you―have you had a―"
Andy, still laughing at CC's comment, interrupted him again. "'Up and coming'―we're gonna give 'em a shot, on tour...we'll see how it goes."
"They're rowdy, they're rowdy, it's like, like trying to look after five beautiful infants, I don't know," Leach said into the camera, laughing.
"Uh, that was actually our first choice of band name," Andy said, grinning wickedly at the camera. "Was, uh, 'Five Beautiful Infants.'"
"You can say that, it could be the offshoot project, when you go and do the other stuff, yeah," Leach chuckled.
"Yeah," Andy agreed, half-tempted to throw one of his arms around Ashley. This whole interview, despite its strangeness, felt comfortable, familiar.
"I think it might be―could we make it six?" Leach asked. "'Cept I'm not beautiful or an infant, I'm too big and hairy, I think."
"Well, we'll get to call it 'Five Beautiful Infants and their Big and Hairy Friend,'" Andy said, and everyone burst out laughing again.
"You guys―" Leach couldn't finish, he was laughing so hard.
"A mascot!" Ashley cackled.
"Fran says I can't wait for it," Leach laughed.
"I'll give you a razor, dude!" CC said. "You could hop on with us."
"I quite like the stubble, though," protested Leach. "I mean, like―"
"Well, about the stubble!" CC exclaimed, reaching for Andy's chin; surprised, Andy leaned away, shooting him a confused look before his smile returned.
"You've got that," conceded Leach.
"Yeah, dude, I got the shadow―" CC stepped forward, reaching to pull Leach's halfway-unbuttoned shirt to the side. "Look, look, you got, you got―"
Behind him, Jake and Jinxx looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"You've got the cheekbones, though, you've got the cheekbones to pull it off, I don't think I could do that," Leach protested.
CC pushed aside his shirt a little more, grinning. "I wanna―I wanna design a pattern in this," he said.
Andy, slightly jealous, spoke up. "Why are you petting his chest?"
He didn't even know if CC heard him as Leach started talking again, making very little effort to pull away from CC's touch.
"This―this―this was gonna be an interview," Leach laughed at the camera. "It's now just turned into like a five-way romp, really."
"We're Black Veil Brides, we can't do like, what, like the normal like 'Yes, and we're very proud of our accomplish'―we can't do that," Andy said, figuring it was true enough. He couldn't recall a single interview where he'd ever actually said they were proud of what they did, what they'd won.
"I didn't want that kind of chat anyway," Leach shrugged amicably. "Listen, if you guys, if you guys um..." He reached out towards Jake and Jinxx. "Gentlemen," he continued. "What'd you think of the English ladies? Let's be honest, you're a rock band, you know, rock bands like ladies, so..."
Andy had to fight to keep his face neutral. Little did he know...though with all the strange flirting they'd been doing rather than conducting an interview, Andy had rather thought Leach had figured it out by now. Again, aren't you gay? How have you not seen...humans. They really can be dumb.
Andy pointed at Jake, grinning wickedly at his guitarist, who looked a bit like a deer in headlights. "He's gotta talk about it."
"So what do you think of the English ladies compared to the American girls? Are they nice?" Leach asked, a winning smile directed towards Jake as he held out the mic.
Jake glanced at Jinxx, clearly uncomfortable with being asked about women of all things, then said somewhat awkwardly, "Uh, absolutely."
"You got anyone?" Leach asked conversationally; Andy once more fought to repress a snort. "English or American?"
Andy was almost certain Jake fought the urge to look around at them as he smiled and said, "Yeah, I do."
Leach's reply was rapid-fire. "You in love?"
Jake hesitated only a second, his smile soft, his eyes flicking up to meet Andy's―though from the way he was standing, Andy was pretty sure his expression was hidden from the camera by his hair. "Absolutely," he said. Andy smiled back, hoping the camera wouldn't pick up on the love in his gaze.
Leach nodded. "Right now, there's an army of young girls who are just crying now that you've said that. You realize you've broken hearts today."
Jake shrugged. "Well, it's gotta happen sometimes, you know."
Leach turned on his heel to face Andy again. "But you're still out for it, right? With all of them."
A little alarmed by the sudden turnabout, Andy said, "No! No, not at all." His boyfriends laughed again, their shared secret seeming somewhat hilarious in light of Leach's ignorance. Andy laughed, too, noting CC's bright smile at the sound. He pointed at Jinxx, half-hidden between Jake and CC. "No. Uh, Jinxx and―and CC are married," he joked. "So that―that was a thing that happened."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" CC laughed as Jinxx shook his head, grinning somewhat embarrassedly. "Let's not even start there! The fuzz―we've attracted the fuzz, they're gonna..."
And indeed, two police officers in the bright, neon-yellow reflective coats of construction workers and crossing guards were walking towards them.
"Are the police―I dunno, which one of us are you throwing out?" Leach asked as the officers approached. "Is it me? Was it 'im? Am I in trouble?"
"Yeah, no, we just―" one of the officers tried to explain, but Leach interrupted.
"Get in 'ere. Come on, c'mere, c'mere," he said. "Let's get the police in here, right?"
CC let out an excited little yell―Andy refrained from laughing again, but barely―and stepped forward to high-five them. The officers ended up exchanging high-fives with CC, Jinxx, and Jake as Leach continued, "Police―Black Veil Brides, it's happening."
"Wait, before the police get in I wanted to say..." Andy protested, and Leach came to his aid.
"Yeah, why'd you stand right in front of the camera, officer? Let's just move you over here..." He pushed on the officer's arm to get him to take a couple of steps closer to Jake.
A bit of rearranging ensued; Jake moved over to stand between and a little in front of Jinxx and CC so they could all fit into the camera frame. Neither the guitarists nor the drummer seemed too upset about this shift in arrangements.
"Hold on, hold on, hold on―alright," Andy said as they got resituated.
"Black Veil Brides, plus their hairy friends and a coupla fuzz, there we go," Leach said as Jinxx―the shortest of the five of them and hidden behind Jake―tried to get into the frame of the photo the officers' companion was taking, standing on his toes to be seen properly above Jake's head. Andy fought another laugh―he would have just walked over and picked him up if he didn't think Jinxx would hit him for it (he only seemed to like being picked up when it was on his terms, which was almost never), and if he didn't think it would most definitely give away their secret.
"Are we in trouble?" Leach asked the cop next to him.
"No," said the cop.
"Did you see the band play today, gentlemen?" Leach asked.
"I―unfortunately not," said the cop next to him, the older of the two by the look of his face.
"You missed it," Leach said without missing a beat. "Well, you can tell they're good, though, right?"
"Absolutely," said the cop, and Andy leaned around Leach to interrupt.
"Are you guys married men?" he asked; the cops turned their attention to him, and he repeated himself. "Are you married men? Alright so. What we've got available for those of you out in the audience, we've got CC and Ashley, they're both available―" Lie― "um, and our police friends, I'm sure you could persuade them in some way."
His boyfriends laughed again as Leach said, "I'm a professional slut, so I'll have sex with anyone―" Oh really? Andy thought, fighting the urge to raise an eyebrow― "I think that we've, we've had enough chat, let's just take all of you, we'll get in the trailer, the police'll come in and we're just gonna do each other. Let's do this, right?"
Andy thought for sure he'd heard wrong. The fuck? "We're gonna do each other?" he asked incredulously.
"We're gonna do each other," Leach confirmed, seeming to find nothing wrong with this statement.
Andy looked directly at the camera. "I'm gonna leave," he said emphatically. His boyfriends, sure―he wouldn't mind escaping the crowd of reporters and band members and fans and so many goddamn humans to fuck his boyfriends, away from the draining proximity of so many people, but he barely knew Leach―and he sure as hell didn't want to invite two complete strangers into his bed (or trailer, as the case may be). Yet Leach didn't seem to see anything wrong with what he'd said.
"I'm gonna run," Jake added as Andy started to back away, still staring at the camera. Fuck this whole interview.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, not like, sexually, just like―like clay models of each other," Leach tried to backtrack, apparently realizing why Andy had freaked.
"Oh!" Andy said, more relieved than he'd like to admit. He wasn't about to deny that Leach's comment had scared him for a moment. "What are we doing to each other?" he asked now, immensely confused.
"Artistic integrity, we're just gonna create models of each other," Leach explained, and Andy fought the urge to shake his head―that was wrong on a whole other level. This reporter is very odd.
"I'm still trying to catch on to..." Jake said, trailing off and not fighting his own shake of his head.
"It's always about sex with them, it's always about sex," Leach laughed. Andy once more fought back a raised eyebrow―you're the one that said 'do each other', you dick. "Uh, guys, thanks so much for chatting with Total Rock―officers, thanks very much, keep―looking after―"
"Thank you, officers!" Andy said, sensing the interview was nearing its end at last. "Appreciate it."
"Thanks, guys," said one of the officers as they walked away.
"Y'know, they're on tonight, they're actually supporting Metallica, later on," Leach said.
Andy fought the urge to roll his eyes. This interviewer was insane―though maybe that was why they liked him. Do we like him?
"Who knew the Village People were here?" Andy joked, letting none of his internal commentary shine through in his voice. "I didn't..."
"One time I got pulled over, I go...'Hey occifer'...I was like 'whoops!'" Ashley said.
"That probably gave the game away a little bit," Leach said seriously as Andy doubled over laughing. "Gentlemen, thanks very much for chatting to us, uh, it's been―it's been weird, let's be honest, this hasn't been a straight conversation―" Andy wondered briefly if he meant that as in sexually or logically (realistically, probably both)― "but I don't need that! I don't need that in my life. Come on―"
And he went in for a group hug that Andy thought Why the fuck not and joined in on.
"Let's hug it out, let's hug it out," Ashley said, his voice somewhat muffled into the group hug.
They untangled themselves and bid Leach goodbye; then, exhausted, the five of them headed for their trailer. Andy slipped his hand into Jake's as they walked, what energy he had drained now after so many consecutive interviews.
Jake pressed a quick, unnoticed kiss to Andy's temple. "You okay?" he murmured.
Andy nodded, though as the energy of the Total Rock interview began to fade he was beginning to feel a little numb. "I'm fine."
"Well, we survived," CC said, his hand in Jinxx's. "And now we can go focus on the album again."
Jinxx smiled. "It'll be nice. I love playing, I love traveling, but it does get to be overwhelming―even for vampires."
Jake cast a wary eye up at the clouds. "I'm actually glad it's so cold and dreary today. Means we're not in much danger from being out here for so long."
Andy clung to him, his senses slipping again, Jake's hand his only tether to reality. What's happening? Will they notice?
He hoped they would―though he wasn't exactly in much doubt. I love you. I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know why that interview got so chaotic, but I love you.
His boyfriends continued their conversation, oblivious, but Andy didn't mind―just as long as he had them to keep him grounded, he'd be fine.
―――――――――――――――
It was only after they'd gotten settled in their hotel rooms―well, actually, in Jake and Jinxx's hotel room―that Jake noticed something was off about Andy.
He hadn't failed to notice how unusually quiet the singer had been, but he'd dismissed it as exhaustion―they'd need to sleep on the plane tomorrow, or immediately when they got home and could shut out the light. But as Andy curled up like a cat with his head on CC's shoulder, looking almost defeated, Jake knew it was more than that.
"Andy," he said gently. "Are you okay?"
"No," Andy said, and Jake was slightly alarmed by how weak his deep voice sounded.
Jinxx exchanged a worried glance with him. "What's up?" the older vampire asked.
Andy half-shrugged, apparently out of energy. "Social battery's fucked," he mumbled. "The interviews...too much interaction today. Too many people." He grimaced. "Too many humans. And I've been...losing time." He gestured vaguely, apparently trying to explain it. "It's...slipping away. Can't focus―everything's a blur."
Jake exchanged another worried look with CC and Jinxx. CC pressed a kiss into the singer's hair somewhat absently. "Any idea what's causing it?"
"No." Andy buried his face in CC's shoulder, and CC wrapped an arm around him.
Jake settled on Andy's other side and ran his fingers through Andy's short hair, thinking. Andy purred softly―apparently even his exhaustion wasn't enough to prevent that automatic reaction.
"Maybe you just need to feed," he suggested softly. "The jet lag has to have fucked with your feeding schedule."
Andy half-shrugged again. Jake glanced at Jinxx, who nodded and momentarily left the bed to retrieve a packet of blood that they'd brought in and stored in the room's minifridge. He scowled as he came back.
"This fridge isn't quite cold enough," he complained. "But the blood still smells okay."
He settled back on the bed in front of Andy, whose nose twitched slightly at the scent of blood. CC shifted, nudging him to sit up; reluctantly, and looking like it cost him a great deal more effort than it usually would have, Andy did so. Jinxx tore open the packet and handed it to him; all three of them hovered as Andy tilted his head back and fed, closing his scarlet-stained eyes. Jake watched him the entire time, trying to see if the blood wrought any visible change in the younger vampire.
And indeed―as he fed, Andy's whole body seemed to relax a little. Jake let out a quiet sigh of relief. For a second he'd worried...but there was little chance that could be happening again, as it usually only affected fledglings. Though he wasn't too sure on those details―Jinxx knew more about the mysteries of vampirism than Jake did.
Andy finished the blood fairly quickly―probably a little too fast, but he was long since used to feeding, and Jake trusted that he knew what he was doing.
"Thank you," he said, his voice already stronger. "I guess I did need that."
"We probably all do, actually," Jake mused. "It's been a long few days. Jinxx?"
Jinxx nodded and disappeared to the fridge again, back a moment later with three more blood packets. He, Jake, and CC all tore into them; Andy smiled at them tiredly, though his mesmerizing eyes were still distracted.
Jake studied him, those haunted, beautiful blue eyes, as he raised his own blood packet to his lips. There was some sort of shadow lingering in Andy's gaze, an expression that usually meant he was lost in his memories―which, given his past, wasn't always a good thing.
"What's on your mind, Andy?" Jake questioned.
Andy curled a little closer into himself; CC and Jinxx both gazed at him with concern in their eyes. While he wasn't exactly the most forthcoming person ever, usually he'd answer them, at least―Jake frowned. Whatever was giving him that look must really be troubling him.
Let us in, Jake begged him silently. Let us help.
Finally, Andy mumbled, "Somehow...I think we've acted more insane today than we ever have before. Especially in that last interview."
Oh. So that was what was troubling him. The crazy stage personas they consistently put on, every time they donned the warpaint. Jake glanced at Jinxx as CC pressed another kiss to Andy's head. "That's not necessarily a bad thing, is it?" the drummer asked.
Andy half-shrugged. "I guess not, not really, but...I just thought we were sort of moving away from it, is all."
And they had been―ever since they'd recorded and released the music video for "Coffin," the amount of warpaint they wore, those crazy, hyper personas they presented all the time had started to decrease drastically. Maybe it was because, as they worked on Wretched, they were settling more into the roles of their characters, whose names they wore across their backs―Prophet, Mourner, Mystic, Deviant, and Destroyer. Maybe it was simply that they were getting tired of pretending to be someone they weren't―at least in the creative sense. Maybe it was a little bit of maturity, after four years in the industry. Maybe it was all of the above. Jake really had no clue.
But today...so far, today had been as crazy as it used to be, and obviously, Andy wasn't entirely happy about it.
Jinxx leaned forward and kissed him softly. "It'll be okay, Andy," he murmured. "It's just one day. It's not a shift back."
"Then why does it feel like it is?" Andy asked, and he sounded almost broken; Jake's long-still heart ached to hear it.
Jake wrapped his arms around Andy's waist, laying his head on the younger vampire's shoulder, his half-finished blood packet forgotten in his lap. "It's not," he murmured. "It's not. Today was just...weird."
"I don't want to be this...thing anymore," Andy said. "Whatever the fuck I've been portraying to the world for the last four years...I'm sick of it."
"We know," Jake said softly, into the singer's skin. "We know, Andy."
"We are too," CC added. "Even as much as I like the warpaint―it's getting old, putting on so much every day. And the public personas got out of hand a long time ago."
"That's the other point of Wretched," Jinxx said. "To change, to evolve―to be able to leave those identities behind." He leaned back in and stole another quick but heartfelt kiss. "We're not the same people we were four years ago. And we're going to show the world that. Okay?"
Andy held his gaze for a moment before his eyes flicked to CC, then Jake, and stayed on Jake's. "Okay," he said, a little shakily.
CC kissed him now, gently. "Are you okay now?"
Andy offered them a half-smile. "I think so." He heaved a sigh, relaxing again in Jake's arms. "Just an anxiety attack."
Jinxx stole another kiss. "It's okay, Andy."
Andy's smile was a little wider this time. "Thank you guys. For being here." He glanced at Jake. "And for holding me."
Jake smiled back and kissed him. "Nowhere else I'd rather be, Andy."
Andy kissed him back. "No, seriously. You've always put up with my bullshit."
"It's not bullshit," Jake said. Then he grinned. "Most of the time."
Andy laughed―actually laughed―and Jake let himself relax again. The shadow that had fallen over him had been effectively erased. Jake leaned over and stole a kiss from Jinxx, who smiled softly at him.
Andy leaned his head back, exposing his pale throat; CC wasted no time in beginning to press kisses to it, and Andy smiled indulgently at the ceiling.
"We get to go home tomorrow, at least," he said. "Get back to work. Download's always fun, but I kinda miss the studio." He scowled briefly. "There's not as many people there."
Jinxx laughed softly. "That, I think, will be a good thing for all of us."
Andy looked at him, careful not to disturb CC and his kisses. "The only interview I was able to focus for, aside from the last one, was the one I did with you, Jinxxy," he said. "The NME one."
Jinxx smiled. "Really?"
Andy smiled back and brought a hand up to trace Jinxx's face, his other one wandering up to card through Jake's hair, which was less stuck up with hairspray than usual―he simply hadn't wanted to go to the extra effort when he was decreasing his warpaint so much. "Really. Something about you grounded me today."
Jake grinned and pulled Jinxx towards him, spinning him so the smaller man was leaning against him. "Knew you were magic," he grinned.
"Shut up," Jinxx laughed.
Jake kissed him upside-down. "Guess there's a reason we're calling you the Mystic."
"What part of 'shut up'―" Jinxx laughed.
"The whole two words," CC chimed in.
"You're no better!" Jake countered, laughing. "Or you!" he added, looking back at Andy.
"I said nothing!" Andy protested. "I'm not part of this fight."
Jake grinned at him. "You are by default. You're the one that never gives the rest of us a chance to talk in interviews."
Andy gave him a scandalized look that CC kissed off his face. "Jake."
Jinxx chuckled at them. "You're not going to win this one, Andy."
Andy groaned. "Apparently."
Jake laughed and kissed him, happy to just be here with them. It may have been a hotel in a foreign country, but Jake knew it didn't matter where they were―as long as they were together, nothing, not even their anxieties and demons, could hurt them for long.
―――――――――――――
A/N: So this chapter turned out shorter than I expected, but I'm also still battling writer's block, so I'm amazed it got finished at all. I do not have any concept of how good this is or not, I'm also fighting a head cold (mostly just a stuffy nose) and haven't been able to focus very well lately. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed (despite the lack of mention of Andy's whole mooning-the-crowd incident―yes, that did still happen). Comments are still appreciated! <3