"MOM, w-what did you do again?"
Adamas sighed while staring at Adamas Laurien who was crying. Kanina pa ito umiiyak matapos makatanggap ng text message mula kay Noa na hindi na muli itong magpapakita sa lalaki.
"Argh, you're such a crybaby, Adam. Can you shut up?" matinis na saad ni Azaliah na nakaupo sa couch.
"Tumahimik ka na r'yan, Adamas. Kagigising mo lang pero umiiyak ka na." Naglakad papalapit ang ina nito. Papahirin na sana ang luha pero winaksi ito ni Adamas.
"Don't touch me." His face was red like it was ready to burst.
His mother frowned. "Are you seriously getting mad? Dahil pinalayas ko ang walang kuwentang babae na 'yon?"
"Hindi siya walang kuwenta! Don't say that to her!" Sinamaan niya ng tingin ang ina.
"What's happening here?" Isang lalaki ang pumasok sa loob ng kuwarto. May kaedaran na ito kaya ang hula niya'y ama ito ni Adamas.
"He's mad at me because of a woman." She crossed her arms.
Naupo naman ang ama sa couch katabi ni Azaliah bago nagsalita. "Totoo ba, Adamas? Nangyayari ito ngayon dahil lang sa isang babae? Tsk. Wala ka na talagang ginawang maganda sa pamilyang ito kundi ang maging pabigat."
"Dad's right. Sakitin pa. Pfft," natatawang singit ni Asnael habang naglalaro sa kaniyang phone katabi rin ni Azaliah.
Napakuyom naman ang kamao ni Adamas. Kitang-kita niya ang kulay ng emosyon ni Adamas Laurien na unti-unting nagbabago. Ang kaninag malungkot ay unti-unting napapalitan ng pula. He was mad.
"Stop pursuing that woman and focus on your studies. Hindi ka magsusulat! Matalino ka pa naman, huwag mong sayangin ang buhay mo sa walang kuwenta mong pangarap pati sa babaeng iyon. Understood?"
Hindi ito sumagot.
"Hey, Adamas, are you listening to me?" Tumaas ang boses ng kaniyang ina. Napairap ito nang hindi pa rin sumagot ang anak. "Are you going to be furious with your family just because of her, huh? Gosh. You're losing my patien--"
"Shut up, Mom."
Lahat ng tao sa loob ng hospital room pati siya ay natigilan. Hindi niya inaasahang lalabas iyon sa bibig ni Adamas. Ang Adamas na iyakin at hindi kayang ipaglaban ang sarili ay ito ngayon, sinabihan ang ina na tumahimik.
"W-what did you say?"
"I said shut up!" He screamed, making everyone jolt in surprise. "Ginawa ko naman lahat ng gusto mo pero bakit pinapakialaman mo pa rin ako? Simula pa no'ng bata pa ako, wala akong sinuway. Lahat ng pinapagawa mo sa akin, sinunod ko. Kahit na ayaw ko sa course na pinili mo sa akin, sinunod ko pa rin 'yon! Hindi ko pinabayaan ang pag-aaral ko pero bakit pinapakialaman mo pa rin ako?!"
Bumakat ang ugat sa gilid ng panga ni Adamas habang binibitiwan ang mga kataging iyon. He, on the other hand, couldn't help but cheer for the man he was based on.
"That's the spirit, human! Tell that to your toxic mother!"
Dinuro nito ang ina. "Pati kung anong gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko, bakit ikaw pa ang kailangang masunod? Bakit kayo palagi? Bakit hindi ako puwedeng magdesisyon sa buhay ko? Do all of you are really my family? Am I supposed to live my life the way all you wanted and not what I want?!"
"Hey, Adamas! Enou--"
"I had enough!" Kinuha nito ang unan na nasa likuran at tinapon sa sahig. "I'm tired! I'm tired of seeing all of your faces! I'm tired of accepting all your hurtful words! I hate you! I hate this family! I don't want to be here!"
"You fucking ungrateful kid!" Sumugod ang galit nitong ama. "If I didn't take you in, you will never experience this luxurious life!"
Tinaas nito ang kamay at akmang susuntukin ang anak. Kaagad na napasangga si Adamas gamit ang mga braso.
"Dad, stop!" Anais ran and hugged Adamas. "Please, don't hurt him. He's not yet recovered."
Napatigil din ang ama subalit bakas pa rin sa mukha nito ang galit at pagkadisgusto. "Kausapin mo 'yang anak mo, Anica. So fucking disrespectful at mas lalong hindi marunong tumanaw ng utang ng loob."
"I will leave this family," Adamas blurted out which kindled his father's anger more.
"You!" Nag-akma ulit itong susuntukin ang lalaki pero pinigilan na siya ng asawa. Hindi rin umalis sa pagkakayakap si Anais.
"Enough, hon. I'm going to talk to him, so leave him to me."
"You better be." Padabog na lumabas ang ama sa kuwarto. Sumunod din ang mga anak nito at naiwan na lang sa loob ay si Anais at ang ina.
"Now, Adamas--"
"Mom, stop." Nilingon ni Anais ang ina. Bago pa nito sermunan ang kapatid, pinigilan na niya ito. "Adamas is not feeling okay. Huwag na tayong dumagdag. What if he will get an attack again? That will make everything worse. So please, Mom, save your lecture when he's fully recovered."
Her mother sighed in annoyance before walking out of the room. "I'll be back."
Kaagad na humiwalay si Anais sa yakap at tinignan ang kalagayan ng kapatid. "Are you okay?"
Umiling ito. "I'm going to leave, Ate. I'm not planning on spending my life with this family. Sila ang ikakamatay ko."
After that event, the place turned dark again, ready to give him another memory. Isang taon na ang lumipas at fourth-year college na si Adamas at Noa. At sa isang taon na iyon, hindi sila nagkita o kahit kausapin man lang ang isa't isa.
Kasama ngayon ni Adamas ang kaniyang manunulat na nakaupo sa table ng isang coffee shop. Kaharap nila ang isang lalaking nakakrus ang mga braso at titig na titig kay Noa.
It was Azure.
"What the hell does this man wants, my wordy Noa?" He also crossed his arms and glared at Azure. Hindi niya talaga gusto ang lalaking ito.
"What do you want again? I told you to stop disturbing me." Bakas sa boses ni Noa ang inis. It seemed that it wasn't the first time the man had been seeing her.
"Are you still waiting for my brother? Your relationship with him already ended a year ago," Azure said. "He can't fight for you. But if I--"
"And you're what?" She rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't like you?"
Adamas cursed inside his head when he realized the man was trying to pursue his Noa. What the hell? What kind of brother would do this? Alam nitong may namamagitan kay Noa at sa kapatid pero ito ngayon, pilit na tinutulak ang sarili sa babaeng hindi naman siya gusto.
As he continued to listen, he also started murdering Azure in his head.
"Think again, Noa. Think about my proposal." He clasped both of his palms. "If you are going to be with me, your life will be easier. I could also make your dream come true."
"Ha." Sarkastiko namang napatawa ang babae. "You saw what your family did to me and you're telling me that you can make it easier? How though? By watching me getting slapped by your mother every day?"
"I'm not Adamas. I already proved myself to the family and built my own name. They will never be against me even if I choose you to be my wife. And if I may add . . ." He smiled slyly. "I am the Laurien's favorite."
"I don't care." Tumayo na si Noa. "I prefer a man who would go against the tide for me. A man who's not someone's favorite and a man who has respect for his sibling's relationship." Nagsimula na itong maglakad. She paused for a moment and let out a sarcastic smile. "And that man is definitely not you."
Tuluyan nang naglakad si Noa. Dali-dali rin siyang sumunod at sinubukan pang pagbuksan ng pinto ang manunulat kahit alam niyang tumatagos lang ang mga kamay niya sa kahit anong bagay na susubukan niyang hawakan.
"At least I tried. After all, you wrote me a gentleman, my love," nakangiti niyang sabi habang pinagmamasdan ang kaniyang manunulat.
Itutulak na sana ni Noa ang pinto pero may pahabol pa si Azure.
"You think Adamas could turn the tides for you?" He chuckled. "You chose to let go of him because he's weak, so how can you expect him to do something unexpected when you have already given up?"
Hindi sumagot ang babae. Napahigpit ang hawak nito sa doorknob bago ito tinulak pabukas.
Habang naglalakad papuntang university, biglang nag-ring ang phone nito sa bulsa.
Pinanood ni Adamas kung paano nagbago ang ekspresyon sa mukha ng babae habang kinakausap ang caller. It was from a hospital.
Her mother had passed away.
Sunod-sunod na tumulo ang mga luha nito dahilan para mapakuyom ang kaniyang mga kamao. Gusto niyang yakapin ang babae pero hindi niya ito mahawakan. Gusto niya itong kausapin subalit hindi nito kayang marinig ang kaniyang boses. Gusto niyang sabihin na may kasama ito ngayon pero hindi niya magawang ipakita sarili.
He couldn't do anything again.
This wasn't the Noa he wanted to see. When he decided to unfold the memory behind and in between the photos, he expected his author to be a bloom of sunshine because that was the emotion he used to see from her Dump. Palaging masaya.
But judging the events, it seemed that he needed to wait for a long while before he could see her smile again.
Days went fast and he was now sitting beside Noa in front of a grave.
"I guess Dad never really cared for us, Mom. Ang bobo ko sa part na umaasa pa rin akong babalik siya." Niyakap ni Noa ang mga tuhod. "But now you're dead, and he still didn't show up."
Adamas stared at the grey sky while listening to the sound of her cries. It pained him. Like the heavy sky, it was depressing to hear her sobs. Her broken and lonely sobs.
"How can I, a fictional character you made, console you?"
Napunta ang tingin niya sa likuran nang may mga yabag siyang narinig. Dahan-dahang sumilay ang mga ngiti niya sa labi nang makita kung sino ito.
"Adamas! You finally showed up, human!" Tumayo siya sa pagkakaupo. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel any relief when he saw him.
He believed that he could do something with her tears. He believed that he was the only person that could lift his author right now. And even if he wanted it to be him, it was impossible.
He wasn't real. And he was still not created during this time.
The best thing he could do was to watch them. Watched Adamas Laurien sit in the place where he sat earlier and talked to her. Watched her raise her head and noticed the man sitting beside her.
"Adamas?" Her voice was tired, yet there was a sense of hope he never heard when Adamas Laurien still wasn't there. And it was only for him. For the man she had always loved.
Adamas Laurien smiled while staring at her full of longing. He reached for her face and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry. Ngayon lang ako nakapunta."
"Kumusta ka?"
"Still suffocated by my family." He sighed. Het let out a small laugh before continuing. "I wish I could change my surname and not be part of the Laurien."
"Ano namang surname ang gusto mong ipalit?"
"Riscarte."
"Why? What does that mean?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Wala, ang ganda lang pakinggan. Parang ang tapang ng dating tapos malakas."
"So i-re-rely lang natin ang meaning ng name base sa tunog nila?"
"Don't we do that most of the time? When we name our characters?"
Sabay naman silang natawa.
"Gawain mo lang 'yon. Huwag mo 'kong idamay," Noa said while chuckling. Pinahid nito ang mga naiwang luha sa gilid ng mga mata. "Why don't you do it though? Change your surname?"
Tumingin ito sa kalangitan. "For twenty-two years, I've already carried that surname so kahit baguhin ko pa parang ang hirap nang ipasok sa isip na hindi ako Laurien. At isa pa . . ." Napatigil ito saglit nang magsimulang umulan. Kaagad nitong binuksan ang payong bago nilingon si Noa. "At isa pa, nag-iipon ako."
"Para saan?"
"Para sa atin."
Nagtaka naman si Noa. Inabot ni Adamas ang kamay nito at marahang hinalikan ang likod ng palad.
"I did what you told me that we shouldn't see each other anymore. But I can't do that forever, Noa. Hindi ko kaya na mawawala ka lang sa akin." He stared at her. "That day in the hospital, Ate Anais told me what they did to you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you."
"It's been a year, so no need to bring it back. It was also my fault why you had to be admitted."
Adamas shook his head. "No. It wasn't. Sumaya lang ako no'ng nakilala kita, Noa. You are my happiness, so there's no way it was your fault."
Binitiwan nito ang kamay ni Noa. May kinuha ito sa bulsa bago lumuhod.
Natigilan ang babae at ganoon din siya na nanonood lang sa dalawa.
"Are you going to propose to her at this moment and in this place?!" Napatakip si Adamas sa kaniyang bibig. "Idiot! You are in the cemetery! At least pick a nice place!"
"Noa, I know you are going through something right now and hindi ito ang tamang oras para tanungin ka pero . . ." Binuksan nito ang maliit na box. And there she saw a ring with a Rose Quartz stone. "I want to spend my life with you. I am willing to risk what I have as long as I will be with you. So . . . w-will you accept me as your husband?"
"Do you know what you are saying, Adamas?" Noa exclaimed. "Marriage life isn't easy. You can't just ask me to marry you without thinking of the consequences!"
"Who says I wasn't thinking? I have been preparing myself, Noa. I want to give you the best life so I made everything ready before I came in here. Hindi ako nagparamdam sa 'yo ng isang taon kasi naghahanda ako."
"Like what?"
"Like our house, furniture, lot, and a business." Napalunok ito upang pigilan ang sariling maiyak.
"You're capable of doing that? Really, Adamas?" sarkastikong sagot ni Noa pero naluluha na rin ang mga mata nito. She was happy. "How can you do that?"
"Well, maybe because I am a Laurien?" natatawa nitong sagot. "Even though I loathe them, I still learned something from them. I am capable of starting a business because of them. Because they taught me that everything can be possible."
"But, Adamas, this is so sudden."
"I know. My initial plan is to propose to you after we graduate, but last week . . . I overheard my mom and dad preparing for my marriage."
"What?!" Kaagad na nabalot ng kaba ang puso ni Noa.
"They're planning to arrange my engagement with my dad's friend's daughter after graduation. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to marry someone else unless it's you."
Tumakas ang luha nito sa mga mata kaya agad nitong pinahid. "So, Noa, let's achieve our dreams together. Risk with me. Risk for me."
Noa remained silent, but her tears spoke a lot about what she felt at that moment. In that one year they'd been away from each other, not even a day she failed to wish for Adamas to show up in front of her. She may have told him to cut every string between them, but deep inside, she had been waiting.
Noa might have thought Adamas already let go of her. Pero ito pa mismo ang lumapit at ngayo'y nakaluhod sa harapan, hinihingi ang kamay ng pinakamamahal.
Sunod-sunod na tumango ang kaniyang manunulat. "Of course. Of course, I'm willing to risk for you." At niyakap nang mahigpit.
Nabitiwan ng lalaki ang payong at niyakap din ang babae pabalik. "I love you, Noa."
"I love you, Adamas. I love you too." Humiwalay ito sa yakap at hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi ng lalaki.
The colors of their emotions were too clear for Adamas that he knew what would happen next. He watched them kiss as he was soaked in the rain. Adamas Laurien and Noa, too. But unlike them, he wasn't feeling the love the two had for each other.
For the first time, he felt alive like how humans do.
But he wasn't happy. His heart was throbbing yet every beat of it was breaking him.
His author wasn't in love with him. She was in love with the person he was inspired by. He knew it from the very beginning, but it was a fool of him to think it was him who she hold dear when the truth was, he was only a favorite.
Not a loved one. Not a partner. Not a husband. But just a favorite character.
In the story of the Odds of Tribes, the main character experienced several heartbreaks, but he did not once feel them. He was never curious about that feeling either, so why did he have to experience how wrenching it was inside?
"So this is what a shattered heart is . . ." He touched his chest.
He closed his eyes and let his tears fall with the rain.
"It's painful."