"become more cynical and self absorbed"
--☆--☆--☆--
Cassie usually loved this time of year. She shared her mother's love for the snow and everything that came with it. She thought it was beautiful and magical, but it was different this year.
This year Cassie is learning what real heartbreak feels like. It's been a week since she lost him, and she refuses to talk about it. She decided it was easier to focus on other things. She tried her best to fill every moment of her day so she would have less time to think about him. Which is why she insisted that this year the Gilmore family should participate in the annual snowman making competition.
Each year the three Gilmore women would go out into the center of town and try to build a snowman. Every year they'd pick some celebrity to base it off of. One year they made Tom Cruise and this year Cassie decided they should make Bjork.
Lorelai and Rory realized right away that Cassie was using the competition to keep herself busy. For the most part Cassie seemed fine. She laughed at her mom's jokes and finished off the semester with A's in most of her classes. But she was quiet. The smile that appeared would fade quickly and her laugh was softer than normal. It's like she was trying to put on a brave face, and her family didn't know what to do. They just let her be, knowing that when she was ready she'd open up to them again.
"How do you like that mouth?" Lorelai asked, causing the girls to look over at the face.
"Um..."
"It's uh," Cassie turned her head, hoping that Rory would tell Lorelai the truth.
"It's not very mouthlike," Rory admitted to their mom.
"Oh, I think it works," Lorelai told them.
"It's tilted to one side," Cassie said pointing to the mouth.
"Yeah, no, it was intentional," Lorelai told her before looking over at snowwoman Bjork. "It gives her a unique expression."
"Like she had a stroke?" Rory asked, causing Lorelai to frown in disappointment.
"Fine, I'll just use the Mrs. Potato Head lips," Lorelai held up the lips from Cassie and Rory's playset when they were 5.
"No," Rory immediately shook her head, "forget it. Leave stroke-mouth. It's not like we're gonna win this anyway."
"Not with that attitude."
"Face it. That is the single most incredible snowman I have ever seen," Rory said pointing to the other side of the field. Cassie and Lorelai both frowned when they looked at the man who was building a snowman that was practically carved by god.
"I'm sorry, that snowman is way over the top, way too showy. It's screaming, 'I'm incredible, I'm special, look at me,'" Lorelai said using a high pitched voice.
"That's kind of the point of a snowman building contest," Rory reminded her.
"Hmm," Lorelai turned to the man who turned and smiled at her. Lorelai waved back politely before saying, "I hate this man with every fiber of my being."
"He looks nice."
"He's a ringer," Lorelai told her.
"How do you figure?" Cassie asked as she looked over at the man.
"Someone recruited him, promised him a handsome sum, financed his theatrical snowman accouterments, so he could snatch victory away from a deserving local in order to bag the contest prize for himself," Lorelai explained to them, causing the twins to laugh.
"Seems a little elaborate considering that the prize is a set of new US quarters," Rory reminded her.
"We're ignoring him now," Lorelai said and all the girls nodded as they turned to look at their snowman. "So, what are we gonna do while you two are on school break?"
"A whole lot of nothing."
"Sounds good," Lorelai nodded her head.
"Plus a little homework."
"Buzzkill," Cassie said, making Rory roll her eyes at her.
"And a lot of movies," Lorelai added.
"Oh, we have to rent Godfather 3 on DVD," Rory said, earning confused looks from her mother and sister.
"You're kidding right?"
"In the audio commentary, Coppola actually defends casting Sophia," Rory told them.
"Now that is some fatherly love," Cassie half laughed.
Lorelai looked over at the girls, a question on her mind. "What's all this homework you have to do?"
"Just stuff for the paper," Rory told as Cassie let out a groan of annoyance.
"What? Why?"
"Because Paris wants the first issue back to be a double issue," Cassie told her mom, without a single ounce of joy in her voice.
"Which means we have to prep over break and Paris says the news never sleeps," Rory added.
"What about Paris, does she ever sleep?" Lorelai asked.
"I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down," Rory answered.
"Well, you can't work the whole time."
"Trust me, I won't," Cassie said with a proud smile on her face.
Rory was just about to say something but before she could her attention went behind Lorelai, a gasp leaving her mouth. "Oh my god"
"What?"
"He's power buffing."
Lorelai and Rory turned their heads, both of them shocked to see the man with power tools. "Aw, now that's just wrong."
"We're competing against the Michelangelo of snow," Cassie crossed her arms, wishing terrible things for that snowman.
"And we're Ernest Builds a snowman," Lorelai added.
Rory turned away from him, focusing on their snowwoman again. "We shouldn't look at him anymore."
"Heads down, stay focused," Lorelai agreed.
"We can do this," Cassie nodded, then the three of them watched as the head slowly fell off and landed on the floor. Cassie looked down at the head that now laid on the floor, wondering why she found herself relating to the snowwoman. She shook her head, letting out a breath of annoyance, "So coffee?"
"Right behind you," Lorelai responded and the three of them walked away from the snowman to head towards Luke's.
--☆--☆--☆--☆--☆--
Lorelai and Sookie were both sulking. The big Bracebridge dinner they had spent the last month planning has been canceled. Now they were poking at their food, depressed expressions on both of their faces.
"I've got thirty pounds of aged beef, tray and trays of throat, mountains of pruned tarts," Sookie told them, the sad expression on her face breaking Cassie's heart. "I diced pumpkins until my hands turned orange. I've got pumpkin hands," She added, showing them her hands.
"Take a sip," Lorelai told her as she pushed Sookie's glass closer to her.
"How can you stay so calm about this?"
Lorelai shrugged her shoulders, "There's nothing we can do about it."
"I can't believe they got snowed in," Rory shook her head in disappointment.
"All that work, all the extra help we hired," Lorelai sighed, still upset about the whole thing. "Oh well. At least they paid for it already. We didn't lose any money."
"There's a brightside," Cassie smiled softly at her mom.
"You know, I could still make up the dinner for the four of us," Sookie suggested to them.
Rory shook her head slowly. "Yeah, but then it would be like the four of us, all alone in the dining room," she told them and Cassie unfortunately had to agree with her.
"It would be like The Shining, except instead of Jack Nicholson, we have Rune," Lorelai agreed.
"Not a fair trade," Cassie pouted as Luke walked over to their table.
"You girls want anything besides coffee?" He asked as he placed a mug full of hot chocolate in front of Cassie. He could see her sad expression from across the room, and Luke still remembered a time when his hot chocolate could cure anything Cassie had.
Cassie looked down at the hot chocolate she didn't order with a smile on her face. She put her hands on the mug, feeling the warmth spread in her hands. "Thanks," Cassie said, turning her head to look at Luke.
Sookie's eyes lit up as she looked over at Luke. "Hey, what about Luke?"
"What about him?"
"He eats, and Jess eats," Sookie looked at Luke with a confused expression. "Doesn't Jess eat?"
"What's she doing?" Luke asked, looking at Lorelai.
"I think she's inviting you for dinner," Lorelai said with a smile.
"Yeah, come on, join us. It'll be fun. You like Peacock Pie?" Sookie asked him.
"I'm a hundred percent sure I don't," Luke answered.
"There'll be normal food too," Lorelai informed him but Luke still didn't look excited.
"And decorations," Rory added.
"And music," Cassie told him after taking a sip of the most delicious cup of hot chocolate.
Lorelai smiled at him, "Come on, it'll be fun."
"Well-"
"Hey," Lorelai spoke up, interrupting Luke. "You know what? Let's invite everyone."
"Everyone who?" Sookie asked her.
"Everyone, everyone."
"Everyone, everyone who?" Sookie asked.
"Everyone we know, everyone we like," Lorelai explained and Sookie finally caught on.
"And they could even stay in the inn. All those empty rooms, all those uneaten pillow mints," Rory suggested and suddenly the pouting left the room.
"An out of control, over the top slumber party!" Lorelai said excitedly.
"I love it!"
"Me too!"
"Done! Spread the word," Lorelai said to Luke.
"I haven't said I'd come yet so I'm certainly not gonna suddenly become your messenger boy," He told her. Lorelai continued to stare at him, Luke's shoulders fell and everyone knew he'd do whatever Lorelai told him to do. "Eight O'clock."
"Seven," She told him.
"Right," He nodded before walking away.
--☆--☆--☆--☆--☆--
"So you and Sophie want to bunk together?" Lorelai asked her youngestest daughter as she looked at the room arrangements for the inn.
"No, I was thinking we'd bunk with Miss Patty," Cassie answered sarcastically before taking a bite out of her poptart.
"Right," Lorelai smiled before penciling in a room for the girls. "Hey, did Bootsy RSVP?" Lorelai asked as Rory walked into the room.
For the entire day the Gilmores have been preparing for the Bracebridge dinner, which was now a dinner for half the town. Everyone was excited now, even more excited because it wasn't a dinner for a bunch of strangers.
"Yeah, he's coming," Rory told her.
"Thanks," Lorelai made a note in her book. "Is he bringing anybody?"
"He's coming solo."
"Okay, I'm gonna put him in room 16 with Luke," Lorelai smiled with a little too much excitement.
"You can't do that," Cassie told her.
Lorelai pouted, "Come on, let me have my fun."
"Luke is coming with Jess," Cassie reminded her. Rory looked at her sister, seeing a smile on her face. Rory wondered what it meant, that smile. She hadn't seen her sister smile like that in days.
"Well, I'll put Jess in with Miss Patty," Lorelai laughed.
"There will be no Jess left in the morning."
"You stink," Lorelai pouted as Rory sat down in the armchair across from her sister.
"So are you and Jess friends?" Rory asked as she picked up a pile of Christmas cards.
Lorelai looked between Cassie and Rory, wondering if there was something going on between the two of them. "Um, not exactly," Cassie answered with a confused expression on her face. "Why?"
Rory shook her head, shrugging her shoulders as she looked down at the cards in her hand. "Wow. This is one ugly looking baby," She laughed while showing the card to them. "Whose baby is this?"
"That's your second cousin's Stan's. Poor kid."
"Oh no, poor kid. He got Stan's everything," Cassie winced as she looked at the picture.
"That's not even the ugliest baby in the bunch."
"You're kidding," Rory began looking through the cards, her eyes widening. "Ouch!"
"That's the ugliest baby in the bunch."
Rory shook her head at the card, "I don't understand why people put pictures on cards."
"They clearly don't understand that we are unapologetic mockers," Lorelai nodded her head.
"There's an unexplained innocence in the world," Rory sighed, causing Cassie to smile as she turned away from the cards. "Hey, I didn't see this."
"See what?"
"Dad."
Cassie quickly looked up at the card as she moved to her sister's side to get a better look. Cassie looked down at the card, her dad and his girlfriend with a cute little puppy. They were picture perfect. And there wasn't a single Gilmore in the picture.
"And the woman I'm assuming is Sherry."
"Did I not show you girls that? Huh."
"They've got a cute little puppy and everything."
"No wonder he hasn't called," Cassie whispered quietly enough that no one could actually understand what she said. She couldn't bring herself to look away from the picture. That was her dad, with some other woman. He should be here, he should be here with them.
It was bad enough she had to try to not think about Josh, but now this stupid picture was stuck in her mind. She didn't like it, in fact she hated it. She lost Josh, she's losing her dad, nothing was right.
"Nice looking lady."
"Mhm," Lorelai nodded her head, "Like a young Tammy Faye Bakker."
"But prettier than that," Rory said, giving her mom a look.
"Oh, I didn't mean not pretty," Lorelai told her.
"I need a drink," Cassie said walking away from the living room and going into the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, taking a large drink of it.
She turned her head, noticing the phone on the counter. Cassie picked it up and began dialing a number. She needed someone to talk to. She wanted someone to tell her it would be okay, that she wasn't alone. But then she realized she couldn't call this number anymore.
It's his number, the number she memorized the second he gave it to her. She was used to hearing his voice over the phone. She liked that they could always call each other when they needed something, but it was different now. She couldn't call him.
Cassie's barely seen him since that night. They passed each other in the halls a few times but he usually looked away from her. He couldn't even look at her anymore.
Part of her wished she hadn't done it. She wished she had said, "let's try to be better. We can work through this." Part of her wanted to call him and say she made a mistake and she wants him back, but she was scared that he'd say no.
Cassie set the phone down, her eyes glossed over with tears. She stepped away, trying to take a breath before she walked back into the living room.
"But this could help cheer him up."
"Cheer who up?" Cassie asked as she moved back to her seat on the couch.
"Grandpa," Rory told her.
"I'll send him a Def Jam Comedy tape. That'll cheer him up," Lorelai smiled.
"It's a really good thing to do."
"We'll donate money to charity, that's a good thing too. We'll stop kicking dogs," Lorelai suggested, wanting to do anything except invite her parents to the Bracebridge dinner.
"Mom."
"Fine," She groaned. "I'll pencil them in, but they'll probably say no."
"Yeah, but we're not gonna hope that they say no, right?"
"Right."
"Right, because that would be really bad karma, especially on top of making fun of the ugly babies," Rory told them.
"Uh, I have a new year's resolution for you: become more cynical and self absorbed."
"I'll work on it," Rory replied as she stood up.
Lorelai turned to look at Cassie, seeing her youngest daughter staring intently at the bottle of water she had in her hand. "Honey?"
Rory turned her head, seeing the look on her sister's face. She looked at her mom then down at Cassie. They both hated that there was nothing they could do. All they knew was that Cassie broke up with Josh, that's all she said. Refusing to say anything else on the subject.
Rory put his hand on Cassie's shoulder, making her look up. "What?"
"Are you okay?" Rory asked her.
"Mhm," Cassie nodded.
Lorelai put her hand on Cassie's knee, "Honey, why don't you just call him?"
Cassie laughed, thinking about her phone incident in the kitchen. She shook her head, wiping away one of the tears that fell onto her cheek. "Because I broke up with him. I looked him in the eye and told him I couldn't be with him." Another tear fell onto her cheek which she quickly wiped away. "He probably never wants to see me again."
"That's not true," Rory told her.
"No," Cassie stood up, hating that they were fussing around her. "No, I don't want to talk about this," She walked upstairs not letting Lorelai or Rory get another word in.
Rory looked at Lorelai, a worried expression on her face. "What do we do?"
"I don't know," Lorelai admitted, wishing there was something she could do to help her daughter.
a/n: first post of 2023! My New Year's resolution is post more, so hopefully we can keep that up throughout the entire year.