TW: for slight mentions of disordered eating
I find myself stirring awake and am instantly disoriented. I hear a noise in the distance and immediately shove my hand under the pillow, searching for the table knife I'd stolen after dinner on my first night on floor 2. But there's no knife to be found.
I sit straight up in a panic and look around the room. I quickly realize that this is not in fact my room, but I fell asleep in Finnick's room while we were talking. But where's Finnick? And more importantly, how long have I been asleep?
I look out the window to see that it's still light outside, but only because of the bright Capitol lights outside the window illuminating the room with a faint glow. I'm not quite sure what to do, but get out of the bed and neatly make it, tucking in all the corners tightly. I walk up to the door and cautiously open it.
The last thing I need is the escort for 4 spotting me and blabbing because rumours spread in the Capitol like wildfire. Last year's victor being spotted exiting Finnick Odair's bedroom would be the hottest ticket of gossip this entire Games cycle.
As soon as the door creaks open, I hear one down the hall open as well. I go to retreat into the room but Mag's hobbles out of the door and over to me. "We thought it would be best to just let you sleep, dear."
I quickly thank her and begin to gather my things, even though I didn't bring much with me. She quickly explains to me that we'll pretend I came to visit her and she manages to get me out of the door with no problems. Just as I'm about to head into the elevator, I catch Mags staring at me from the doorway and I give her a questioning look.
"You look so much like your grandmother when she was younger. Act like her too. Don't let them take that away from you," she says, the kind smile extending to her eyes. "Everything she's done in the last 18 years, it was for you. To keep you safe. When you were sent to the Games, she thought she'd failed. This is your second chance at a life, my dear. Don't waste it."
Ruminating on her words, I give her a nod and push the button to take me down to floor 2. Hardly anyone seemed to be awake on floor 4, so I'm hoping I won't have any awkward encounters when I get back either.
The next few days go by quickly. I fall into a routine of going to drop the kids—even though they are technically the same age as me it feels like we are centuries apart—off at their training and then taking off with Finnick for a few hours to just sit around and talk. And the amazing part is it's never about anything in particular. I think those times with Finnick have to be the longest I've gone in my life where the conversation doesn't turn to talk about the Games at any point. A miracle and a breath of fresh air all in one.
As training wraps up, the scores come in for the Tributes. All of the members of floor 2 huddle around the couch in anticipation.
"District 2 female with a score of 10," says Caesar as Magenta's face flashes on the screen. A good score to be sure, though I'm not entirely ready to hear the girl beside me never shut up about it. "District 2 male with another score of 10." Percy's face flashes on the screen.
I notice that Finnick's tributes get and 8 and a 9 respectively, which I'll go congratulate him on later, and the other memorable score has to be the girl from 7 who got a 3, one of the lowest scores I've ever seen.
Once the broadcast is over we all break for dinner. The Avoxes lay out the food on the table and we all start to dig in. Percy, Magenta, and Brutus eat their food carefully, picking out anything that looks like it's even touched butter or sugar. Magenta methodically dabs all of her food with a cloth to soak up any remaining grease, reminding me of what I used to do with my food before I won. I can see them doing the food calculus in their heads to ensure they eat the right amounts of carbs, fats, proteins, and other nutrients.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes as Brutus goes to wave them away when they place the dessert on the table, but I insist on having it. The least they can let me do after winning the Hunger Games is eat some dessert. Only Fallon and I indulge in the strawberry-cream cake.
I can feel the stares of Magenta and Percy so hard, it's as if they're going to make my head explode spontaneously. "You know when people at the Academy said you'd gone soft, I didn't think they meant literally." The joke stings, especially coming from Percy. The sweet cake suddenly feels a bit stale in my mouth. I try not to stare down at my body to see if there really has been any change and excuse myself from dinner the moment I get the chance.
I try to quickly forget the fiasco from dinner because the next day is spent prepping for interviews, teaching Percy the ins and outs of what to say and working on making sure that he hammers his 'angle' home. Though to be honest, he doesn't need much practice with being charming and mysterious, so I put my focus into making sure that he's comfortable in front of the camera. He seems to be fine whenever I run my mock interviews with him, even when I throw him a curve ball by using my best Caesar impression, but as soon as I bring Fallon the escort in, he seems to lose his confidence.
We go over questions again and again on his insistence to go until he gets it right. I come up with what I'd like to think is a rather ingenious plan by setting up tissue boxes in the areas where I remembered the cameras to be onstage. I gently guide him to the middle of the stage, in this instance the middle of floor 2's living room, and point to each of the boxes one by one. "Don't worry about the crowd. Your real audience is there, there, and there."
I feel him shift nervously. "But how do I know which one to look at?"
"There's a five-second delay. The editors will switch to whatever angle is best. You give them what they want, and that's how you take control," I say. "The close-up for your chair is the one closer to the audience on the right, the one closer to backstage on the right is a waist-up shot, and the one in front is wide."
"Alright, so, if I'm smirking, I should be angling towards the one towards the audience on the right. But if I'm gesturing with my hands I should go for the one closer to backstage."
"You're a good mentor, you know that?" he says.
"Well, I have some extra motivation."
"And what would that be?"
"Bringing a friend home."
He gives a slow but sure nod, and a smile grows across his face. He practices a few more times, and when we invite Fallon in, it goes off without a hitch. She even lets out a few chuckles. As he slinks off to go and get ready for bed, Fallon turns to me. "I was worried for you. You might think that I'm not very smart, and that may be true, but I saw that spark in your eyes last year, and how it was gone afterwards. It's nice to see that it's coming back."
Not exactly sure what to say, I simply give her a curt nod and walk out of the room.
~~~
I begin to pace back and forth backstage, waiting for Percy to come out of the dressing room, waiting for him to come out. I saw the rack of outfits going into the dressing rooms, and I must admit that it's making me a little nervous. One of the options was a tacky-looking suit in a stone-wall-like pattern, and I really hope that's not the one that they're going to go with.
Just then Percy emerges from the dressing room. He's wearing a blue suit and a white shirt, thank goodness.
"Looking good," I say. Percy spins around to show off his whole suit with a smirk on his face.
"Not too bad right?"
I put my hands on his shoulders and look up into his eyes. "You're going to do great."
"I know." He replies, the confidence and cockiness oozing from his voice in perfect character. "You're more nervous than I am," he laughs.
"Sorry," I say sheepishly. I try to push away the nerves for his sake. But at the back of my mind I can hear the little voice calling to me, how can you push away the truth? How can you push away the inevitability and finiteness how the Games?
Percy places his hands on my arms. "There's nothing to be nervous about. I've got this in the bag."
In the hall I hear someone clear their throat, Percy's head instantly turns towards them.
"Hello, Finnick," says Percy flatly. He begins to walk down the hallway towards the main backstage area. "Come to meet the next Victor?"
I quickly shoot Percy a glare, but there's a glint of amusement in his eyes. He's trying to mess with Finnick.
"I came to meet with your Mentor," Finnick replies. He's used to the mind games that the Careers like to play on one another. "I don't believe I remember your name..."
"Percy. I'm Octavia's friend from the Academy," he says as he grabs a peanut from his pocket. "Well, I've got to go." He gives me a clap on the shoulder as he makes off down the hall.
I refrain from rolling my eyes and I see Finnick watch carefully as Percy walks by him. Finnick turns to look at me giving me a quizzical look. "That's the friend from home, huh?"
"Does that surprise you at all?"
"Is he what you were like last year?"
"Oh no," I say with a smirk on my face, crossing my arms over my chest. "I was much worse."
"You know, I'm remembering bits and pieces of your interview now. I remember thinking, 'wow, she's hot, but damn, she's got a lot of problems'."
"Funny."
"Most people think I'm just a pretty face but I'm also a comedian."
"Mr. Odair," calls one of the Capitol attendants. "A Ms. Verona is here waiting for you? Says she's your date for this evening?"
"And duty calls," he says sarcastically as he walks away. I can't help but still be phased by how casually he refers to this sort of thing. Though as someone who cracks jokes after having been trapped in an arena of death with twenty-three other children, I have no room to judge.
Percy does great in his interview, and not that I'd ever tell her, Magenta does a great job as well. The outer districts however, turn out to be a bigger disaster than I can ever remember. One girl leaves a literal puddle of tears on the stage, and I don't think she was able to get a single clear vowel out through her sobs.
I decide to take the night to mingle amongst the sponsors at a party held within one of the clubs connected to the tower. I manage to secure a few sponsors for Percy, but soon find myself worn out from the incessant pestering of the Capitolians who buzz with excitement. I decide to leave before I blow my gasket on any of them.
I carry my high heels in my hand as I enter the elevator to take me up to floor 2. But as soon as I enter the door, I notice a dark figure standing by the large window that overlooks the city. Judging by the size of the outline, it doesn't take me long to figure out that it's Percy. "What are you doing awake?" I ask.
"I could ask you the same question, Mentor."
"I'm not the one going into an arena tomorrow."
Percy doesn't answer but looks down at the crowds below seemingly just watching and observing all of them swarm the building with their cameras and their signs. If the building wasn't purposely built to resist a lot of the city's sounds, surely every night you'd be able to hear their constant shouting and chanting. "All those people are here for us tributes. They're here to watch us play the greatest game in the world. I just...I can't believe I actually made it here. See those people over there?" He points to a large crowd of people with signs and are holding pictures of his face. "Here in the Capitol, I'm a somebody. I saw my face on the side of a building five times bigger than anything in 2. It's like, here, in this building, you're on top of the world. Is this how you felt last year?"
I pause, not sure how to answer that. "Yes. It was. Having the whole city cheering for you, the rich people throwing themselves at your feet. It's like...it's intoxicating." My answer is truthful. That was indeed how I felt. But like anything that can intoxicate you, it's also poisonous.
He stares out the window and doesn't bother to break his gaze to look at me. "Tomorrow's going to be the happiest day of my life."
His words make me feel like my ribs have just snapped in half. "Listen, Percy. Don't let that illusion out there fool you. Tomorrow is going to be hard—"
"—It's still better than being sent off to who knows what boring job Gareth will be sent to," says Percy.
He's only half right. Gareth and the other graduates of the Academy who aren't selected are enrolled in the Peacekeepers. It's why the Capitol allows us to keep the Academy running, because we supply them with their best stock of highly trained soldiers. But where he's wrong is that what Gareth is doing is better. Boring is good. Boring is safe.
I shake my head at him, not letting him derail the discussion. "You are going to get dirty and bloody, and chances are you're going to be feeling pretty hungry by the time tomorrow night rolls around. All of this," I motion to the crowds outside, "is only a distraction. They don't matter. The only thing that you need to be focusing on right now is staying alive."
He shoves his hands in his pockets and turns to me, his face examining mine. I'm not really sure what he's thought of my outburst speech and I begin to worry that I've upset him on the eve of the Games. But he chuckles. "There she is." I quirk my eyebrow up in confusion. "There's the Octavia I knew."
The words are meant to be a compliment, but I feel an immense amount of shame wash over me that doesn't leave even when I scrub my skin raw in the shower.
I'm not sure if I sleep at all. The night is filled with tossing and turning, it's hard to tell if I'm having nightmares or bad daydreams. One year ago today was one of the worst years of my life. And now, I'm going to be here, front row and centre, to watch it all over again.
Brutus and I bring Magenta and Percy to the helipad at the top of the Tribute Tower where we say our final goodbyes and give our final words of advice.
"Remember what I told you," I tell Percy. "Stay alive, stay alert, and stay hydrated."
Percy wears a bright smile and pats me on the back to make his way towards the ship. He turns around and points to me, "I'm going to make you proud."
I stare at Percy as he embarks on the hovercraft, a big smile across his face. I try to keep mine plastered on as long as I can; smiling so wide that me cheeks hurt. My childhood friend is marching off to his death, and he's got a big bright smile on his face as he does it.
I feel a large presence walk up beside me, and based on the lack of hostile energy, I can tell that it is not Brutus, but Finnick.
"How do you do it?" I ask him, without taking my gaze off Percy entering the hovercraft. "How do you watch them march off to their deaths with a smile on their face?"
Finnick tilts his head towards mine. "The way I see it, it's better for them. Keep up the illusion longer. The smiles on their faces won't kill them inside the arena, but panic will."
"I'm beginning to think that's what everything surrounding the Games boils down to. Don't panic. And willfully ignore it if you can."
Finnick claps me on the back. "Now you're getting the hang of it."
"Well, if it isn't monkey-see and monkey-do, Career I hate number one and Career I hate number two," calls a smug Haymitch from behind us.
I narrow my eyes. "Cute, how long did it take you to come up with that rhyme?"
Finnick adds a faux-serious tone to his voice. "And which monkey am I? Because I really have a reputation to keep up around here."
It's easy to see the exasperation grow on Haymitch's face. "You know, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm starting to miss the older Career mentors. They scowled or rolled their eyes at my comments, but at least they didn't talk back."
Finnick smirks. I can tell he's also having fun poking at Haymitch. "And where would the fun in that be?"
Surprisingly, Haymitch wraps his arms around the both of us and starts to lead us off the roof and towards the elevators. "The one good thing about my job is that it's about to be over in about two hours. You chumps are going to be on the hook for days."
It is now Finnick and I's turn to exchange looks of exasperation. "You still haven't explained where you're taking us."
"I thought that part was obvious." Haymitch pushes the button for the skybridge floor. "You two need to learn how to let go. We're going to the bar."
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Tada! That's it! I think this chapter is really starting to get into the heart of the effects of the improvements, i.e. no Percy love triangle sub-plot and the much more stable and less reactive friendship with Finnick.
Thoughts? Also if you have anything you think needs to be updated in Act I, feel free to suggest ideas!
Here. Memes. Go.