"Get a grip Hyung" soobin spat.
"Get a grip?! Do you hear yourself?" Yeonjun felt himself getting riled up.
This is not how he wanted them to sort it out, fighting with Soobin was never easy nor did he want to get mad at him, but he needed him to understand that he is just as important as the rest of them.
At this point both of them got up, staring at each other with about 2 meters distance from one another.
Soobin rubbed the side of his temple, nearly frustration enough to feel the anger rising in him, still.. under Yeonjun's burning gaze all he wanted to do was run to him for safety.
"You know Taehyun has anxiety, why would you tell him I got hurt? It's not even that bad, I told you I was fine!" Soobin slightly raised his voice.
"What good will it do if we hide it from him?! Hmm? He deserves to know what's going on! Stop shielding him when you can't even take care of yourself!"
Something in Soobin snapped.
"I can take care of myself" he said coldly, staring at Yeonjun with the same amount of fire in his eyes.
"Can you Soobin? Can you?! Because every second of these last 6 months you've been nothing but self destructive! Get a grip you say? You're the one who needs to fucking get it together!" Yeonjun screamed, his hands shook of the overwhelming emotion and he was looking at Soobin with concern, anger and frustration.
"Self destructive...?" Soobin whispered, looking at his Hyung, he felt betrayed for some reason.
Yeonjun sighed deeply before looking at Soobin again, his gaze not as angry as before.
"Beomgyu told me what happened in the bathroom" his voice was cold "said you couldn't even stay awake"
Soobin's eyes widened.
"Hyung... that's not-"
"Don't goddamn lie to me Soobin-ah"
Soobin looked down, his muscles tensed even more, he felt the lump in his throat get bigger, threatening to bring him in tears any minute.
"Soobin-ah..." Yeonjun's voice grew softer "Look at me" he demanded.
Soobin liften his eyes, glistening with unshed tears.
"Bin-ah" Yeonjun said softly.
The younger's muscles relaxed a bit at the nickname.
"You're our leader, and the strongest person I know. But you are also younger than me, and I'm your Hyung which means I won't let you neglect yourself.. even if it means letting us get hurt instead"
"Junnie I can't-"
Yeonjun moved fast, hugging the younger as tightly as he could, cutting him mid sentence.
"I'm sorry binnie" Yeonjun was quick to apologize, somehow the tears in Soobin's eyes put some things into perspective "I didn't mean to be so harsh.."
Soobin hummed in response, relaxing fully in Yeonjun's arms, snuggling his face in the older's neck crook, finally feeling somewhat safe in the older's warm embrace.
"I know.. that everything that you do, you do for us. From the day I met you, I knew you were the type of person to give his whole to the ones he loved" Yeonjun exhaled, afraid to bring up the subject.
"But even since... Yeosang"
Soobin tensed up again, suddenly feeling scared.
"It wasn't your fault, Beomie is fine, alive and well. We've never once been angry at you, never once thought it was your fault. So you don't have anything to prove to us, you don't have to kill yourself to let us know you're sorry for what happened"
Soobin's heart dropped, hugging Yeonjun tighter.
"B-beomie was s-shot because of me" Soobin whispered, the words too painful for him to voice, somehow saying them out loud only made him more aware of the fact that he, single handedly almost killed his younger brother. stumbling over his words, the fatigue must've gotten too bad. "Because I w-was too careless, too selfish.. I'm a bad person Hyung, I'm a bad... horrible person"
"Bin-ah" Yeonjun patted the younger's hair "You're the most admirable person I know and-" Yeonjun stopped, something in his mind finally clicked.
"Soobin-ah" Yeonjun pulled away from the younger, ignoring the small whine coming out of him. He cupped Soobin's cheek in his palm, padding away the singular tear on his face.
"Is..is this why you won't date me?..."
Soobin stayed silent, only his eyes shining as a response.
Yeonjun knew he was right.
"You think I deserve better don't you...?" Yeonjun asked, his tone sad and shakey.
"answer me Soobin-ah..." Yeonjun grabbed the younger's chin gently, lifting his head Slightly up.
"Hyung.." Soobin's whispered, avoiding eye contact.
"Bin bin.." Yeonjun placed both his hands on the younger waist, pulling him closer to his body.
"Hyung I can't... " Soobin's heart raced, he could feel Yeonjun's breathe on him.
"I love you" Yeonjun said, not a drop of hesitance in his voice.
Soobin's unshed tears dropped, rolling on his cheeks. He looked at Yeonjun, getting too comfortable in the older's warm brown eyes.
"Hyung.."
"I love you, I love you.. binnie. I know you do too"
"I can't.."
Yeonjun heart pulled towards Soobin, his eyes tracing the younger's soft features.
"Why..?" Yeonjun asked, his voice strained and exhausted.
"Soobin.. please.." he brushed his thumb gently over the younger's bottom lip.
The tension long gone, replaced by a sense of longing, regret and fear.
"Junnie don't.."
"I want you Bin-ah, God I want you so bad" Yeonjun said, his voice breaking down to a pathetic whisper.
"You said so yourself Hyung" Soobin chuckled sadly.
"I'm self destructive...."
"You're not!" Yeonjun's breath picked up "you're not binnie... please... Soobin-ah. I didn't mean it, I didn't.."
Yeonjun trailed off, getting lost in Soobin's sad eyes.
He pulled Soobin closer, so close that Yeonjun could feel the younger's hot breath on him.
"Please bin Bin-ah.... " Yeonjun looked at Soobin with pure desperation. The urge to love the younger nearly too painful for Yeonjun too handle, he needed Soobin, right then and there. He needed him.
Soobin felt himself melting against Yeonjun's soft touch. The older was too kind to him, too gentle, too caring when he never deserved it.
Yeonjun did deserved better than him, and it killed Soobin that he couldn't be the good guy Yeonjun needed.
"Bin-ah I can't..." Yeonjun choked on his words "I can't wait any longer..." he got closer slowly, breathing the younger's scent, coconutty and sweet. Their faces only a couple sentimeters apart, Yeonjun's hands tighten around Soobin's waist as I someone was going to take his bin bin away.
Soobin exhaled shakily, closing his eyes, he felt in an unexplainable daze.
Yeonjun's soft, plumbed lips brushed against his, so gently that under different circumstances he would've mistaken the tingling sensation as a brush of wind.
"I love you.." Soobin whispered, his legs turned weak, almost completely supported by Yeonjun's hands on him.
And then it happened, and the world started spinning.
Yeonjun's lips crashed on his, he gasped, slightly parting his lips. He felt Yeonjun kiss harder, Soobin threw both his hands around the older's neck.
Soobin kissed back, with the same amount of longing in his kiss. As if telling the older, showing him that he wanted Yeonjun just as badly.
Yeonjun hummed in relief, his hands tightened around Soobin's lower back.
Every minute, every second of those 6 years he wished, he could only hope to feel Soobin like he felt him now. Be this close to him, loving him.
Soobin's hands traveled from Yeonjun's neck to his chest, resting peacefully there.
They pulled away, gasping for air.
"Hyung" Soobin's eyes sparkled, still panting from the long, breath-taking (literally) kiss.
Yeonjun got closer, placing small and wet kisses on the younger's jawline, Soobin exhaled, a quiet moan escaped his mouth.
Then the neck, Soobin's threw his head back, letting the older trail a string of tender kisses under his ear, going down to his collarbone, lightly sucking on it. Earning another mild moan from Soobin.
"Hmm..ah... hyung" Soobin whispered, slightly panting. Yeonjun's soft, hot lips on his causing his head to spin, his legs gave out and his head fell forward on Yeonjun's shoulder.
"Hey... woah, I got you Soobin" Yeonjun said softly, he held the trembling boy upright, supporting him with his hands behind his back. He hugged him warmly, the younger's breath tickling against his neck.
"Hyung" Soobin whispered weakly. Yeonjun knew the younger was hanging on the little energy he had left "I love you, I love you so much Junnie Hyung."
"I know binnie.. I know"
Yeonjun placed his hand on Soobin's neck, holding the back of his head, stroking his back hair strands.
"Sleep with me today binnie" He requested. "I need to hold you.. please.."
"Okay Hyung.." Soobin gave in, sleepy in Yeonjun's arms.
Yeonjun took Soobin legs, picking him up bridle style, Soobin nuzzled his face in Yeonjun's chest, closing his eyes, feeling safe in the older's warmth.
He placed Soobin on the bed, covering him with a soft blanket, pecking his forehead.
"Goodnight Bin-ah"
...............
Author's note
Damn that scene was taxing, whew....
Anyway, yeonbin sailing. We love seeing that.
For anyone who's confused, they have two rooms but one has 3 beds and one has 1 bed.