Angel's Perspective
"I already said no," I said into my cell phone, "I can't Friday night... No, I'm busy Saturday too." Jay had been inviting me over and over for weeks to go to a party with him. He was charming enough and typically I'd say yes, but he was looking for a serious relationship and I was definitely not ready for that."Look, I'm sorry, but I can't.... Alright... You do that... Okay, bye." I said, annoyed as I hung up the phone. Why was it so difficult for men to understand that I don't want to be in a relationship and I don't do boyfriends, it's too much for me. Sometimes it is comforting though to surround myself with guys because they are way less complex than girls and when I go on "dates" with different men I feel like I'm one step ahead. When I was young I learned that guys can get so distracted by a girl's appearance or by what they think a girl is feeling for them that they aren't always sharp. That understanding is how I am able to control most situations with men; well, that, and the fact that my wolf is disgusted by 75% of the men or wolves that I've ever affiliated myself with. I've never even touched a guy without my wolf cringing within me.
My wolf has continually reminded me how desperately she wants her mate since we were children. We don't know who he is, but we know that she thinks that she needs him. The werewolf world is practically designed for pairs. From a young age they teach us that there is a person out there specifically for you who will love you, protect you, and add value to your life. I had seen the ways it could go wrong though. I knew the potential consequences. So I always try to deny her of even talking about a mate and I think, maybe, part of me only spends time with so many other guys to get that attention that my wolf is lacking without my mate. However, it's starting to disgust her despite how much it comforts my anxieties to forget everything and just be with someone in the moment.
Suddenly I was reminded of my plans for the evening by a text on my phone. Can't wait to see you tonight, Angel, Ryan wrote. It was going to be an eventful evening... a college house party. Now house parties had never been my style necessarily, but they were easy excuses for meeting new people and gave me the ability to be social over drinks without having to really let anyone ask anything personal or try to really get to know me. I know it sounds guarded, but that's what works for me. Besides, guarded isn't such a bad thing. It's safe, it's easy, and simple, which is exactly the way I liked to live my life.
As I applied my makeup I thought about Ryan. I had gone out with him a few times. He was charming and affectionate. He holds doors for me and has been so polite so far, he even kissed me with respect and made me feel like a true human. I liked him alright, but my wolf wouldn't let me develop any sort of real feelings for him. As much as I kept thinking he would be someone my parents would've approved of with characteristics they had wished I'd find in a mate, this would likely end up being the last night that I went out with him, I certainly didn't want him to expect anything more between us than what we already had and the way he courted me, I feared that would happen soon.
When I finished my makeup, I paired a my favorite blue top with a pair of dark jeans and high knee length black boots. When I was content with my clothes and my makeup, I went back into the bathroom to do my hair. I watched myself in the mirror trying to decide what exactly I was wanting to do here. I knew that I didn't want a relationship, not with Ryan, not with Jay, and not with any of the others either, but I was hurting. I know that living this way was keeping me safe but I was so sick of always trying to be the "fun girl" because honestly I was just tired of it all. Going out with different people in different places every weekend just seemed to be the only way to forget everything that got me to where I was now: alone. But I tried to forget about it as a ran a brush through my hair. Looking in the mirror I had to hold back tears realizing just how much I do look like my mother. Brushing my long wavy blonde hair, I thought of all the mornings I'd watched her get ready before her vanity, and fighting tears I saw my blue eyes well and it reminded me of the pain in my own mother's eyes the last time I saw her.
I stepped out of the bathroom and looked into my full body mirror. The girl gazing back at me was not one I even recognized anymore. My tight fitting clothes hugged my sculpted figure that I worked hard to maintain and enunciated all of the places I knew they would be looking. I was asking for attention, it was true. But I could handle it when I got it. I may not know exactly what I wanted, but I knew what I didn't want and in order to keep that away, I had to stay one step ahead.
I grabbed my phone and slipped it into the pocket of my jacket as I slid my arms into the warmth it provided. Then I heard a knock at the door. I answered it to find a very attractive Ryan wearing dark jeans and a slim fit black shirt covered by a black coat. He looked great and as soon as I opened the door, I watched his eyes slowly scan my body, as a sly grin appeared on his face. Already I could tell I was going to have to be on my toes tonight.
"Wow, Angel," he paused, "you look absolutely stunning tonight," he said, still not taking his eyes off of my body. See what I mean? He's distracted already and I've already taken enhanced awareness of his every move.
"Thanks Ryan!" I said, snapping him out of his daze as he finally looked up into my eyes. "You look good too," I said as my wolf scolded me; she was full of disgust at his scent bringing back memory of the last time I saw him when he kissed me.
"Are you ready?" He asked.
"Yes, whenever you are," I replied.
"Let's go," he said as he easily put his arm on my waist to direct me towards his red sport car, that I had ridden in before. My wolf jumped at his touch, clearly indicating that she really did not like this guy, apparently she couldn't see him.
As I got into his car he turned the radio down so that the rap music was just barely audible in the background. It wasn't my taste, but I knew the words which led him to believe it was and I was fine with that. We drove, maybe 5 miles, and I could already hear our destination. When we did pull onto the street, it was obvious that we were going to the large house, jam packed with people that was slightly dark, but still very bright in the night. The music was blaring and there were people dancing everywhere, inside and outside.
Ryan's Perspective
Jake was throwing one of the biggest parties of the semester and I couldn't be more thankful for the opportunity to bring Angel. As we pulled into his yard I felt very confident. My date was hot, very hot. I just hoped that I could keep her interest long enough to get her alone and show why we should take this to the next level.
"This place is huge," Angel said in an enthusiastic voice.
"Yeah, Jake's parents pay for this place. He throws parties like this all the time."
"That's cool. I love parties," she said after we got out of the car.
"I've noticed," I said with a smile. "I love going to parties with girls that are as hot as you, but they are kind of hard to find around here," I said in my best charming voice.
"Is that a compliment?" she asked, playfully. Good, she was in a light hearted mood.
"That is for you to find out," I said pulling her close to me and wrapping my arm loosely around her waist. I could tell that she was surprised by the sudden possessiveness, but I didn't want anyone to think that she was here by herself. "Tonight," I added, finishing my sentence in a calm whisper in her ear, earning a flirty giggle from her.
"Hey Ryan! Glad that you could make it!" Jake said as we walked in the door. "Who's your date?" Jake said slowly. I watched his eyes as he was checking Angel out.
"Jake, this is Angel, Angel Johnson," I said, tightening my grip on her waist.
"Hello, Angel." Jake said, seemingly studying her.
"Hey, Jake," Angel said happily. I couldn't tell if she noticed Jake or not so I decided to wrap up the conversation.
"Okay, Jake. We'll see you around," I said as I led Angel over to the bar.
"Ryan, I'm not going to drink tonight, I already told you," she said defensively.
"Angel, I wouldn't make you do that, you should know that. I just want you to get to know everyone and be comfortable" I said standing close to her by the bar. Immediately after I said that she looked slightly relieved. I didn't want to push her too far yet.
"Okay, good," she said wrapping her arms around my neck. I followed suit and got close to her wrapping my arms around her waist. "I just don't want to worry about all of that yet," she said. She seemed so innocent when she talked to me like this.
"I know what you mean. Let's just have fun tonight, Angel." Her name rolled off of my tongue so smoothly. I was so glad that we were going to be together the entire night. I had been working her for a few weeks now, I really liked this girl.
"Amen," she said with a smile. Her smile was so beautiful. Everything about her was so beautiful. She blocked out everything and all that I could think about was her body pressed against mine, her arms wrapped around my neck, and the way that her waist felt under my arms. I closed my eyes and went in to kiss her. When my lips made contact with hers, it was just us. I was kissing her and I could feel her starting to kiss me back. She felt great. I just kept kissing her and kissing her. I wanted more, but then I remembered, not here. I think that she remembered where we were before I did because as I was playing with the hem of her shirt she would stop my hand before it got any higher than her belly button. It was obvious that she was under control and I wasn't.
"Do you want to go somewhere?" I said between breaths.
"No, Ryan. Not right now, " She said. I didn't understand. We were having a great time. Maybe, it was just too early.
"Okay, Angel. Let me know when you're ready," I said as I tucked a piece of her hair behind her ears and went in to kiss her again. This time I was under control. I tried to keep my hands on her waist as she kept a hand around my neck and a hand on my hair. I was determined to make her want to be with me. As I kissed her, I made small circles on her back with my hand. Then I began kissing her neck. As I trailed her jawbone with kisses a small laugh of enjoyment escaped her lips. I needed her to enjoy herself tonight so I kept trailing down her jawbone to her neck, but after I got down to her neck she pulled away and looked into my eyes.