| CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
| plenty interesting
ɴᴏʟᴀɴ ᴍᴜʟʟᴇɴ
I woke up with a banging headache in a room I didn't recognize, with my head nearly hanging off the side of the bed. I nearly freaked out, thinking I'd dreamt the last year or so of my life and none of it ever happened, but I could breathe again once Oakley walked into the room from what I assumed was the bathroom, as his hair was wet and still dripping down on his grey t-shirt.
The difference between dream and reality slowly started clearing up, and I soon remembered almost all of it. The party, Oakley's hair, the carpet, boyfriends.
He was humming a familiar melody. My boyfriend was humming a familiar melody. He must not have noticed I was awake yet.
"Morning," I said, laying very still so my head wouldn't have to hurt any more than it already did.
Oakley turned around quickly, smiling as he saw me lying there halfway upside down.
"You really are a wild sleeper. When I woke up, you were using my leg as a pillow."
"That's what you get for having a small bed," I said, blinking away the fogginess, but then I remembered that I'm not supposed to see immediately upon waking up. I had forgotten to take out my contact lenses.
Oakley handed me a bottle of water and ibuprofen.
I first drank half the bottle of water before the pill, because my mouth was dry like the Sahara desert.
"I was afraid you'd get alcohol poisoning with the amount of shit you drank."
"I'm not that easy to kill," I told him. I tried to blink away the dryness in my eyes, but it wasn't helping much as I was still very much dehydrated.
"I should go home. I still have my contacts in and I'll be too blind to even take two steps once I take them out," I said, but he stopped me from even getting off the bed.
"Wait, Gen wants to talk with us. Maybe we could stay for breakfast and then I'll get you home."
"Okay," I said. "I'll use the bathroom real quick."
•••
I did everything with itchy eyes and a headache. My shower, brushing my teeth, and apparently, it was all taking too long for Oakley.
"Are you done yet?" he asked for the third time already.
"Yeah," I said. He opened the door slightly, peeking his head through.
"I forgot my phone," he said with a sheepish smile, and I couldn't help but smile too. He came in, right up behind me, to open one of the drawers. I hadn't noticed this before, but he was a little taller than I was, probably just by half an inch or so. I watched us in the mirror as he checked his phone. He was looking angelic with his hair still shiny from being damp, and his thick set of eyelashes emphasizing his dark eyes. He was beautiful.
He only looked up for a split second, but he immediately had something to say.
"We're pretty cute together, aren't we?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me. His hair was sticking up in all directions. But somehow that made him look better? It felt like a sneak peek of what could become a regular thing.
"Maybe," I answered. He kissed my cheek, which made my skin grow hotter and tingled wherever his fingers touched me. His hair tickled my cheek as he rested his chin on my shoulder.
"Admit it." He stared at me through the mirror with his signature dimple perfectly on show.
"No. Never."
Oakley stood up straight again and I could feel his body shake with his laughter. He had no idea how shit like this affected me. He was completely oblivious. It felt like he was just a really devious tease. With most guys, I'd believe they were. Oakley was different. He was genuinely innocent; almost unbelievably so for a twenty-year-old.
That's also when I remembered I had bought him a present, which I'd told him he could only open today.
"Fine. Let's eat and then I'll take you home."
"Wait, your present," I said. I rummaged through my jeans pocket and the pockets of my jacket until I finally found the dark blue box. It was no bigger than the palm of my hand.
"So what is it?" he asked me. I turned around to find a phone aimed at my face.
"What are you doing?"
"If I don't take a picture now, I'll never have a picture of you of when you first became my boyfriend," he said.
"Paparazzi never stops," I said with a sigh.
"Does paparazzi get a picture of this?" he asked, kissing my cheek and taking a quick picture in the mirror.
I rolled my eyes at him but smiled nonetheless.
"Well, just look at it yourself." I handed him the box and took his phone from him. He opened the box with a big grin on his face. I grabbed his phone off the bed and aimed it at him now, but instead of taking a picture, I filmed him.
"This is treachery!" he exclaimed, looking at me with a big pout on his face. "No pictures," he said ducking his head down and covering the lens. It was odd, being on the other side for once. We both laughed as I put his phone down.
He opened the box and for the longest time, he didn't say anything. Maybe he didn't like it? I mean, it's a bit cheesy, and not very personal. I could always exchange it if he didn't like it.
"D- do you like it?" I stuttered, hating how self-conscious I was feeling all of a sudden. Should I have gone with something more casual? Fuck.
"I'm sorry. I love it, Nolan." He smiled, but it quickly faded away. But his eyes were stuck on the bracelet as he held it up. He wasn't disappointed, he was actually mesmerized, like he'd never received a gift so pure.
"The inscription..."
"Plenty interesting," he read, a smile I knew was genuine followed. It was a simple charm supposed to be shaped like a guitar pick, and the letters were actually really hard to read because it was so tiny, tiny enough that I had them put my name on it too. He must've filled in the blanks himself.
"Because I like everything about you too," I said. It was what he told me when we first kissed. Interesting wasn't the word I'd necessarily describe myself as. Apart from being a child actor, I felt like I was pretty boring. And as much as I hated to admit it, I had my dad to thank for most of my success.
Oakley just made me feel different. He made me feel like I was my own person. He made me feel independent, worth it, and special. I wanted him to feel that too.
"Happy birthday, Oakley," I said.
He pulled me into a big hug I couldn't get out of. We both still reeked of alcohol and sweat, and I was still not wearing my shirt properly. I couldn't wait to go home. "God. You're perfect."
"I'm really not."
"To me you are." He pressed a kiss against my lips. "It's beautiful. Thank you." He put it on the moment he pulled away, and I smiled at how the braided leather fit perfectly around his wrist.
•••
"So what exactly is going on between you guys?" Gen asked immediately once she saw us descending down the stairs. Even the words made me grow all red.
"Gen, meet my absolutely amazing and adorable boyfriend," Oakley said, sitting down on the couch with the grin still playing on his lips. It was crazy how a person could smile for that long without every muscle in their face being sore.
"Well, for how long?"
"Depends on whether you consider anything past twelve the next day, because if so, it would be today." He got up off the couch to literally just drag me along so I could sit down. "But we have been going out for a while, though. Do we still get our food now?"
"Right," she said. Even she was smiling. Everyone was just so happy. It was incredible.
Gen left to go to the kitchen, and Oakley and I sat there in peaceful silence, both still giddy from yesterday. I took his hand in mine, looking at the bracelet around his wrist. Of course I'd seen it before, and I'd spent way too much time watching in the box, contemplating whether or not this was a good idea, but seeing it around his wrist made my stomach do these funny flips, and my heart beat like I'd run a marathon.
"So when is our next date?" he asked. I looked up at him, and he'd already been looking at me with this time a softer smile, the dimple in his cheek faded, but was still there. I dropped his hand, letting it fall on my thigh.
"It's definitely your turn now," I said. I'd given him too many passes, now he was just expecting me to come up with something.
"But you're so good at it!" he complained, putting his hand on my knee. I blushed, which I hated. I couldn't blush every time he did as much as look my way.
"It's your turn," I repeated.
"I hate you," he said, crossing his arms as he slouched back into the couch.
"No, you don't," I whispered in his ear, earning me that smile back. He forced my hand back in his and entwined our fingers.
"I'll come up with something worthwhile," he promised. "Just wait and see."
•••
"Where did you disappear to, huh?" Mylo asked as he found me at the crafty the next Tuesday. I hadn't seen him all of Monday, which came as a relief since I knew he'd question me about it, but sadly my relief had now ended.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, picking out a simple sandwich as I'd skipped breakfast and lunch. I tried to be nonchalant about it, but knowing my acting skills when it came to lying, he could probably tell.
"Friday night."
"Oh," I said dramatically, my face burning up since I knew that was a terrible performance. I took a bite from the tuna sandwich so I wouldn't have to answer to him immediately, but he must've noticed that too, as he tapped his arm exaggeratedly.
"Dude."
"Sorry," I said. "I was with a friend."
"Amazing coverup, very convincing," he said, rolling his eyes. "You didn't spend the entire night with pretty boy."
I almost choked on my sandwich.
"What?"
"Carrillo. He's pretty, isn't he? Like a Disney prince. Either way, who did you disappear with?"
I did get the urge to tell him the truth, but he struck me as the type of person to accidentally reveal private information like that.
"I didn't disappear. I was there," I said. "With Oakley." In a locked room, making out. "Honestly I went a bit over my limit with the alcohol, so..."
"You blacked out, didn't you?" he guessed. I didn't. I could never forget that night. But I let him make his assumption, smiling as I took another bite of my sandwich before disappearing.
"If he's bothering you, just tell me and I'll punch him," Maria said, catching up with me. I was just about to go sit down when Aaliyah ran up and took the last chair.
"Not cool," Maria said.
"He's so sweet. He'd probably offer anyway, wouldn't you, Nolan?"
I looked around for another place to sit, but as I'd already known, there was none.
"I like your sister a lot better," Maria said. I hadn't realized there had been issues.
"Ass kisser," she mumbled.
"What happened?" I asked.
"It's nothing," Maria reassured me as we walked away. "She thinks I'm trying to use you, or whatever."
She said it so fleetingly, like it was nothing. I turned to her, walking a little more slowly. "Use me for what?"
"You have years of experience in all this. This is my first lead. She thinks I befriended you for benefits."
I figured most people did. It didn't make them bad people as long as they were honest and real with me. Ava only became my friend because we worked on an English assignment together, and she chose me as a partner because we had to write a screenplay. She wasn't the only one trying to work with me either. She was just lucky that the teacher thought she was the best fit.
"Why would she care?" I barely knew her, so I didn't see why she would care about who I did and I didn't befriend.
"I think she likes you," Maria said.
"But she barely knows me," I said, voicing my earlier thought.
"Have you never liked someone from a distance?" She stopped walking altogether. "Someone you don't really know at all?"
I couldn't say I ever did. I eyed people, I could tell when a guy was hot, but even then I'd have to talk to them for a bit before deciding to do something about it.
"Of course you haven't. I bet you've never had a celebrity crush," she said with a smile. "For you, that would just be a crush."
She turned back around, continuing her pace.
"I don't know every single famous person in California," I said. "When I was ten, my favorite movie was Secret Santa Society. I'd watch it even in summer."
"Anette Sommers?"
Ivan Brady.
"I'm just trying to say that I did have celebrity crushes," I said. "But it's because I felt like I knew them through the movies." I met Ivan that same year of my obsession, and he was an asshole. Ever since then, I vowed to always separate the art from the artist, to save my sanity.
"Yeah, I think Aaliyah has that now."
"Then why doesn't she just talk to me?"
Maria turned around again as we stopped in front of her trailer, raising her eyebrow. It took me a while to realize the assumption she was making.
"I- I'm actually asking because I would talk to someone I like, to get to know them better."
Her face didn't change much, only a smile spread from her lips.
"I don't like her," I said.
Maria shrugged, still smiling. "I mean, do you want her to talk to you?"
"I don't like the idea of someone admiring me from afar."
"Such bullshit. You have like a million Instagram followers."
"It's fifteen million, actually. And my mom's friend mostly manages it."
She wasn't listening, smiling as we got into the trailer.
"Maybe she's scared you'll be a dick and doesn't want to ruin the fantasy."
"I don't like her," I said, this time to her face. I'm gay.
The words were at the tip of my tongue, and it felt like Maria was staring at me for ages, waiting for the truth to spill out. But every time I opened my mouth to say it, I got a lump in my throat.
"I'm—"
How did I do this with Ava and Keith again? I couldn't pinpoint one exact point I had to come out with them. It was natural, we were all in the same boat with Keith being bisexual and Ava being transgender. It was like we just knew and found each other. This was different. I was facing an actual straight person.
"I'm taken, actually," I managed to say, beating myself up internally.
Weak, sad, embarrassing.
"Wait, you are?" she asked, her eyes widened. "Since when?"
"It's just been a few days. I like keeping things private."
She nodded. "Fair," she said. "But don't you think that whoever you're dating... Can I at least get a first name?"
"No," I said, my cheeks heating up. I shouldn't have told her.
"A fake name? First letter? Or any letter, really."
"Uhm..." I thought about it, but my mind blanked. All I could think of was moments Oakley and I shared together. Baking cookies, eating ice cream, the beach. "Ocean."
"Blue eyes?" she guessed, but I shook my head, smiling to myself as I thought of him.
"Don't you think... have you and Ocean talked about hiding it?"
"About keeping it a secret?" I asked. We hadn't, actually. I knew we had to eventually, but even most straight couples kept it to themselves for at least a few weeks. My parents kept it a secret for months before being seen together, and I knew couples who didn't disclose it for years. Oakley and I would be no different.
"I don't think Ocean is ready to tell anyone yet either." Oakley also liked the private things. Plus Genevieve knew. Even though it wasn't planned, it did take some pressure of keeping the secret off.
"Can I ask a question?"
I nodded, honestly hoping she wouldn't straight up ask me if Ocean was a guy.
"How secret do you intend on keeping it? I mean, we're friends, right? Have you told other friends? Or is this really between you two?"
"I don't know," I answered honestly. "One friend knows so far." And I was probably supposed to tell Ava soon. I couldn't lie to her.
"So you might phase into it?"
I nodded. It seemed like the most logical way to go about it.
"Wait, are you seeing someone?" I asked. Because she was asking a suspicious amount of questions. Her face turned red, and I smiled.
"I don't know how to navigate this world yet. Like I said, you're a lot more experienced."
"So Aaliyah might be right after all," I said, smiling. "You're absolutely using me."
"Shut up," she said, grinning at me.
"Name? Letter? Code name?"