"Are you sure about this?" Nick asked.
I stood inside the airport of Sunnydale; Olivia was holding onto my hand tightly, Nick was with us. We were sending Olivia off to Boston to stay with Alexis and my great aunt Carissa.
Carissa had a son, Alexis's baby brother around Olivia's age so she would have someone her own age to play with.
"She'll be safer." I told him laying a hand on Olivia's head.
"But what do we even know about this great aunt Carissa?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "Except she visits every ten or so years, we haven't spoken to Alexis in like three years."
"Show some respect Nicky." I told him firmly. "Carissa was Godric's sister, she's like Godric in so many ways except for she's a tribrid...she is also the oldest matriarch in our family, don't disrespect her."
"What's a Tribrid?" Olivia asked looking up at me.
"It's a cross between a witch, vampire and wolf." I told her making her nod. "In our world it's a rare combo and very powerful."
"That's kind of cool." She said making me smile. "I can't wait to see Ben."
"Do you remember what we talked about?" I asked raising an eyebrow, I kneeled down so I was eye level with my child.
"I have to listen to everything Carissa or Alexis tells me to do, don't disobey them." She said slowly like she was trying to remember. "I'm not allowed to go hunting unless they say otherwise, bottled blood only... and no using any of my gifts like running or anything in front of humans and above all no wondering and be respectful at all times."
"Good girl."
She smiled at me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders hugging me.
"Take this time to learn new things, and met another side of our family." I told her gently. "But don't forget to have fun too, Boston is an amazing place... Your daddy has some history there too."
"Really?" She asked tilting her head.
I nodded.
"Maybe someday he'll tell you." I told her smiling.
"Miss. Northman." A voice said making us look up.
There was a woman dressed in a black skirted dress suit and sunglasses, dark hair coming towards us. I stood up looking her over.
"I'm Mrs. Travis, Ms. Lovelace's worker, she sent me to pick young Olivia up." The woman said holding her hand out.
Staying proper I shook her hand.
"Oh right." I muttered politely, putting Olivia down and laid a hand on her head. "This is Olivia. This is her first time flying but she should be fine. There are bagged treats in her travel bag, enough to hold her until she gets there."
The woman nodded and glanced down at Olivia who stared at me.
I kneeled down eye level with my daughter and gave her another hug.
"It won't be for long baby, it's just until this big bad passes." I told her calmly, feeling tears building in my eyes but refused to let them fall. "I'll call you every day, Daddy and I both will come get you when this is over."
She nodded, pulling back. She turned and hugged Nicky for a second before turning, the woman held her hand out to my girl, Livy took it and walked away looking back at us.
I watched her until I couldn't anymore, this would be our first real separation since she was born but I knew this was safer for her, I didn't want her to see her father like this or get wrapped up in this danger.
-----------------------------------
That night I took time off from work with Ursa's permission so I could deal with my mate.
We were up in our room, he laid flat on his back on the bed watching me quietly. I tied his hands to the bed frame with rope. It was long enough he could still move a little but tight enough he couldn't break free not with the way I tied.
All I could do was frown deeply and feel my heart breaking, feeling his pain and knowing he was in danger.
"We're gonna figure this out." I muttered quietly. "Sorry but I can't take any chances, we'll start small with the rope first if this doesn't work then we use chains."
"Don't." Spike told me sighing making me pause and look at him. "Make it tighter. The knots'll give. I get free, someone's gonna die."
I frowned, he looked up seeing the worried look on my face, his eyes softened at me.
"Don't go easy on me."
----
The entire night I didn't sleep, he still laid flat on his back, one of my hands laid on his chest holding his hand, our fingers were woven together. He was clutching my hand like it was going to disappear. He was sleeping as peacefully as he could.
My eyes observed my love gently, I calmly ran my fingers through his hair. I brushed hair from his eyes and brushed my thumb over his brow line a few times, caressing him.
He slept soundly while I did so, so I kept at it.
It was daylight now, the windows and balcony door were covered so no light would get in, the room was pitch black, but my night vision eyes could see him, I never left his side.
I felt like breaking down and just crying but I held it back, I needed to be stronger he needed me to be.
Shaking my mind clear, I noticed there was a small bead of sweat on his forehead. I laid the back of my hand against his temple. My eyes narrowed. He was very hot and not in the good way.
"Why didn't you tell me..." I whispered to myself in worry.
I knew what this meant, he was having a serious meltdown and if he didn't feed soon, he would go into a coma. I wouldn't let that happen.
Instantly I went to leave but his hand gripped tighter onto mine.
"D-don't leave me....Tor"
I turned back to him; his eyes were opened looking right at me.
"S-sstay"
"Shh." I muttered moving the comforter around him more, gently prying my hand away. "It's okay, I'm only going downstairs for a second."
I stood up heading for the door when I heard a noise and turned back seeing him shift into his vamp form, he struggled against his restraints.
I frowned deeper.
-------
Walking out of the room and down the stairs I met with Buffy and Willow coming in from the side door.
"Hey how's he doing?" Willow asked nodding upstairs.
"He's been feasting on humans for weeks." I told them sighing and moved into the kitchen. "He's having serious withdrawals. It's not a good sign for vamps."
"Maybe we need to get him some blood." Buffy said.
"If he gets past the limited time mark and goes into a coma.... I'll have to..." I muttered feeling like crying at the idea but shook it off. "I don't even want to think about that... I'm not going to stake my mate." I shook my head.
They gave me supportive looks.
"Do you want me to kill Anya?" Willow asked sounding excited.
"No, we should try to wean him off human blood." I told them sternly, grabbing my bag so I could grab my blood bank card. "Even if he's having issues with blood, he still needs to feed I'm supposed to pick up my new shipment of tru blood, I can ask Nick to pick it up on his way home from school." I glanced upwards. "I don't want to leave him."
"I can go get it." Willow told me in understanding.
"You don't mind?" I asked.
"No, I have to get out of the house." Will told me. "Xander's installing those new windows for you, and he keeps giving lectures on proper tool maintenance. Tool talk, not my thing."
"Thank you, it's already boxed you just need to give them my name and card and make sure you have your ID." I told her handing her a couple cards "And show them the other card, it tells them you are my companion and I sent you."
Willow looked at me.
"It's part of the rules, I trust you." I added. "But when it comes to our blood, my people wouldn't."
She nodded.
"How're you doing in there?" Buffy asked.
I sighed.
"He's in pretty bad shape." I told her frowning. "Past the point where he can tell me anything."
"I wasn't asking about him." Buffy added shaking her head.
"I'm terrified Buffy." I told her honestly, feeling like crying again. "It's like my greatest fear coming true, what if I-"
"You won't." Willow said cutting me off, I looked at her seeing a knowing look on her face. "You won't lose him like the rest of your family, you and Spike will survive this."
"But what if I do...." I asked feeling the tears roll down my face. "And it's my fault...because when I love something....it gets taken away..."
Buffy and Willow frowned moving closer to me and pulled me into a group hug.
---------------
Buffy, Dawn, Nick, Anya, Xander and I were in the living room, where Xander had finished installing a new window I asked him to put in.
Buffy still had her arms around me keeping me calm. We were talking quietly when Willow walked into the door with a box of my shipment from the butcher's shop and a grocery bag and a familiar man Andrew into my house.
"Look who I found."
I glared at him, I was so not in the mood to deal with him.
"Oh, this can't be good." Xander said.
"Guess who was buying mass amounts of blood at the butcher's shop." Willow said handing me the box and bag. "I ran into one of your friends Theo I think he was the owner there, he said he heard what was going on and added some blood that had anti-biotics in them."
I nodded.
"Thanks, Will."
"I didn't know there was a thing like that." Buffy said drawing my attention.
"Carlisle and my grandmother came up with it after Grampa was nearly drained." I told her softly. "I'll tell you the story another time."
She nodded.
"Hey." Andrew said looking at Willow. "Your hair's not even black anymore."
Willow rolled her eyes making him shut up.
"What're you doing back in town?" Xander asked walking closer to him.
"You'll get nothing out of me, carpenter." Andrew told him making me roll my eyes.
"We'll see about that." Xander told him tapping a piece of scrap wood in his hand threateningly.
"You deal with him, put him in one of the rooms downstairs." I told them earning nods. "Got someone more important to take care of."
I took the box from Willow and headed into the kitchen to warm up the blood, I soaked the bag in boiling hot water until it was warmed up and dumped it into a coffee mug.
---
While the gang were dealing with Andrew locking him down in the basement. Walking into my room with a wash rag and the cup I closed the door and bit my lip, standing there for a few minutes.
Hearing Spike let out a shuddered gasp, I shook my head clear and glided over to his side, setting my things on the side table and sat down on the edge of the bed. My heart clenched laying the back of my hand on his forehead. It was hotter than before. He was back in human form, shivering horribly.
Quietly I scooted up near his head and gently lifted his head up, pulling him into my arms. He let out a tired painful growl.
"Shh I got you." I whispered laying my hand on his cheek and gently stroked his skin to calm him down. Cradling his head in my arm. "It's going to be okay, this'll make it better."
I grabbed the mug from the side table and slowly swung back around and brought the tip of the mug to his mouth. I could tell he could smell it; he didn't fight against me and parted his lips. Once he tasted the blood, he started gulping it down feverishly.
His eyes stared up into mine. There was pain in them, exhaustion but I could also see love, I knew what he was telling me.
-----
After a few minutes, Spike's eyes fluttered closed, letting out a tiny sigh of relief as he fell asleep in my arms.
I knew the medicine in the blood was working but it was up to him rather he would survive or not.
Reaching over I grabbed the wet washed cloth off the side table and slowly washed the blood off his face. Once it was cleaned, I just held him for a few minutes. I laid my hand on his cheek and tenderly stroked his skin, caressing him.
I never thought he would do something like this, go soul searching. I thought he left me knowing what he did I sometimes wished he had, it would have been better if that was the reason. I just didn't want to lose him; I've lost so many but losing Spike... I wouldn't know what to do... He had to survive, I needed him too. I just wanted him back.
Hearing a small sob I realized I was the one who made it and covered my mouth. I calmly settled Spike back down.
He made a small noise as I placed his head back down on his pillow, I leaned down giving him a long soft kiss and closed my eyes for a few seconds.
Pulling back, I looked down at him seeing a peaceful expression back on his face.
Sniffling I dragged myself away from him, I grabbed the mug and walked out, heading downstairs. Uncontrollable tears streamed down my face as I headed into the kitchen. I let out a sigh heavy trying to control myself before I spotted Xander and Anya standing outside the basement door.
I quickly wiped my eyes so they wouldn't see but they frowned at me sympathetically.
Anya came over to me and pulled me into a hug, I felt her attempt to make me feel better and patted her back till she pulled back.
"What's the status with your guy?" Anya asked gently. "Are you doing okay?"
"I'll be better once he's okay." I told her clearing my throat, she nodded in understanding. "He'll get there just gotta hope and give him time.... how's your guy?"
I looked over at Xander coming closer. Xander pulled me into a quick hug making me smile at my best friend.
Xander was one of those who knew me well, if I was crying he knew it was something serious. I never cried but feeling like I'm losing my mate I couldn't stop.
"The weasel wants to sing." Anya told me. "He just needs tune."
"He's primed." Xander said. "I'll be pumping him in no time." Anya and I stared at him; I raised an eyebrow. "He'll give us information soon."
----
Heading back into my room with another mug full of medicinal blood, I shut the door behind me, leaning against it, taking in a deep tearful breath and let my eyes adjust to the room. I covered my face with my hands trying to pull myself together.
Removing my hands I looked around noticing Spike was sitting up, he was wide wake and staring right at me.
I cleared my throat, masking my emotions.
"Better?" I asked making him nod. "That's good."
I moved to the edge of the bed and sat beside him, setting the mug on the side table and reached out to touch his forehead.
"Fevers going away." I muttered sighing in relief. "Eyes aren't so wild or bloodshot, that's a good sign."
His eyes softened at me. I noticed his wrists looked red and swollen, probably from him pulling so tightly on the rope, it caused a rope burn. Quietly I inspected it seeing how bad it really was and while doing so, Spike grabbed onto my hand and gripped it tightly, I looked up at him seeing a look in his eye. He didn't want to let go and neither did I.
"I don't remember anything." Spike told me.
"Well, you were having a pretty bad withdrawal." I told him gently. "I've seen it before, plenty of times, I know the signs." I paused frowning thinking of how many I had to stake because of that.
"No not that." He said shaking his head, sighing... "I don't remember.... what I did."
"Nothing?"
"It's all flashes here and there." He told me. "It's like I'm watching someone else...do it, kill people. I've been losing time for a while now, waking up in strange places."
"When did your chip stop working?" I asked softly "Why didn't you tell me all this was happening?"
"I wasn't aware that it had." Spike told me honestly. "I didn't know, I swear Tor I really didn't know what I was doing... Not till now."
I stared at him, seeing an honest look on his face.
"And the losing time?" I asked shaking it off. "How long has that been going on?"
"Things have been wonky since I got back." He told me like it was nothing. "Ever since..."
"You got your soul." I said finishing.
He chuckled.
"Figured that's what it was like." He told me chuckling a little, I frowned at him "It'd been so long since I had one."
"How'd you do it anyway?" I asked tilting my head.
"Saw a man about a girl." He said sighing. "I went to seek a legend out. Traveled to the other side of the world, made a deal with a demon."
"Just like that?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"No, not just like that." Spike told me. "There was a price. There were trails, torture, pain and suffering...of sorts."
I frowned deeper thinking back to when I was feeling his pain, the entire time he was gone I kept feeling these weird shots of pain, I never told anyone. It was him the whole time.
"Of sorts?"
"Well, it's all relative, isn't it?" Spike asked.
"Meaning?" I asked staring at him.
"Meaning I have come to refine the words pain and suffering since I fell in love with you."
I sighed looking down knowing it was my fault. If it wasn't for me and this stupid mate thing, he would be fine and free from me.
"I'm sorry." I muttered quietly.
"I'm not." He said squeezing my hand.
I picked my head back up and looked at him.
"It was worth it so whatever your thinking, don't." He told me almost like he was reading my mind. "You've given me more than I've ever had since I was turned....You make me want to be a better man and I would do it all over again if I had to, I'd go to hell and back, the end of the world repeatedly for you." I looked at him feeling the emotion in those words. "Now the soul's not all about moonbeams and pennywhistles, luv. It's about self-loathing. I get it. Had to travel 'round the world, but I understand you now. I understand the violence inside."
"Violence?" I repeated smirking slightly in amusement. "William the bloody now has insight into violence?"
"Not the same." He said chuckling. "As bad as I was, as evil and as wretched as I was, I never truly hated myself back then. Not like I do now."
I sighed.
"Just remember you have a child and a mate who doesn't." I told him, making him stare at me. "No matter how angry you make me, I'm not going anywhere, nothing you do will ever make me resent you."
He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand.
I was going to say something else when I heard Anya yelling and turned my head to the door, raising an eyebrow, I could hear Andrew begging for Xander to pull her off meaning Anya had went after him.
"Oh Anya." I muttered smirking lightly, looking at Spike. "Be right back."
I got up walking out.
----
I walked into the basement where the gang were interrogating Andrew. Buffy, Anya and Xander were in the room.
"Hey everything okay?" I asked.
Andrew was sitting on the floor. Anya was on him holding onto his shirt collar with her arm raised to hit him in the head.
Xander was sitting on a desk, holding a brushed cheek and Buffy had her arms crossed just staring at all of this. The room had been serious trashed.
They all stopped and looked at me.
"Everything's fine." Anya told me smiling.
"Okay." I muttered shrugging looking at Anya. "Just don't kill him."
I turned and walked back out, going back upstairs.
---
From the hall I could hear people in my room but could only sense one person. I paused listening, the door was partly opened.
"What do I do, job half-done? Never send a boy to do a man's job." He said chuckling and started singing. "Oh, don't deceive me, Oh, never leave me."
I raised an eyebrow pushing the door open, entering the room and looked around, he just stared at me.
"Who were you talking to?" I asked cautiously.
"What's that?" Spike asked.
"I heard you through the door." I told him. "Who were you talking to?"
"Nobody." He said shaking his head... "I was just uh, keeping myself company."
I frowned looking at him.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Fine, how are you?" He asked looking completely off.
"Spike?" I muttered frowning worriedly.
"I'm fine." Spike told me sensing my emotions. "Really. I'm just feeling a bit peckish, I suppose..." He looked over at the mug of blood on the night table. "Do you mind?"
Keeping my eye on my mate I moved towards the bed, turning I reached for the mug only to hear Spike breaking out of the rope, roaring and got free, I turned around quickly to stop him, but he threw me against the wall and ran out of the room.
----
I groaned in pain, kicking myself for falling for it.
Getting up I vamp sped downstairs into the basement where Spike had Andrew pinned and was feeding on him, just in time to see Buffy throwing Spike off and into a wall. Xander and Anya ran into the room. Buffy checked on Andrew. I ran over to Spike's side, kneeling beside him. He looked at me confused, I glanced around at the entire room and bit my lip for a second.
"Sorry" I mumbled before pulling my fist back and knocked him out cold, he fell to the floor with a small thump. My hands shook reaching for him, making sure he was only knocked out... I couldn't believe I'd just punched my mate.
"Tori come check this out."
I nodded walking over to them, kneeling to check Andrew's wound out, sniffling, not caring if they could see the tears.
-------
Sitting in the living room, I sat in my chair contemplating what I just did. Dawn and Willow were on the couch and Buffy sat on the arm of my chair with her arm around my shoulders knowing I was very emotional.
"He didn't seem to want anything to do with me." I told them hearing my voice break. "I mean, he just pushed me aside and charged out the door."
"Are you hurt?" Nick asked coming into the room with a mug of blood, he handed it to me.
Xander and Anya joined us.
"No." I told him taking it gratefully and sniffed it, smiling lightly when I smelled gator. "Physically no, emotionally yes."
"How is what's his name?" Dawn asked looking at Xander.
"He got a good chunk taken out of his neck." I told them. "But he'll be fine."
"Had to tie him up again, but mainly just to keep him from scratching at his bandages" Xander said glancing at me. "What the hell happened up there?"
"I-I don't know." I told them feeling tears in my eyes, Buffy patted my shoulder, they're eyes all softened. "We were having a conversation, and he was fine; you know as fine as he can be right now. And then I came to check on you guys and when I got back, it was like he was a completely different person."
"Different like 'William the bloody' type different?" Willow asked.
"He was talking to someone, I heard him." I told them honestly. "He was having this conversation and then he started singing."
"Maybe it's another musical." Anya said making Buffy glare at her, I glanced between them, feeling a little pleased at how Buffy was acting. "A much crappier musical."
"He mentioned something about a song in the cellar. Uh, and he changed there, too." I told them. "I mean instantly became another person."
I took a drink of my gator blood trying to calm down.
"Trigger." Xander said making me look at him.
"The horse?" Anya asked.
"No in his head." Xander told her. "It's trigger. It's a brainwashing term. It's how the military makes sleeper agents. They-they brainwash operatives and condition them with a specific trigger, like a song, that makes 'em drastically change at a moment's notice."
"Is this left over from your days in the Army?" Willow asked.
"No, this is left over from every Army movie I've ever seen. But it makes sense. We've had ghosts or something haunting us, right?" Xander asked. "Well, what if Spike's ghosts have figured out a way to—not only haunt him—what if they figured out how to—how to control him?"
"Spike's said he's been seeing things since I found him in the basement." I told them sniffling.
"So, he gets his soul back, he starts seeing spooky things?" Nick asked joking. "And he goes extra, extra crazy?"
Snarling loudly, I stood up and threw my glass into the fireplace, shattering it in a sudden burst of anger and screamed in frustration.
"This isn't a joke!" I snapped growling feeling tears in my eyes. "Spike is dying! If he doesn't make it through this, he is going to die and it's gonna be my fault."
I saw Nick and Dawn looking at me with wide eyes, Dawn looked a little scared. I sighed heavily and sat back down in my chair laying my head in my hands and just sat there trying to calm down.
"Spike is strong Tori." Xander said trying to make me feel better. "He's fighting hard to survive it, he doesn't want to leave you."
"I can feel his death." I muttered wiping tears from my eyes and lifted my head, finding them all staring at me.
"But this trigger." Buffy said looking at me. "How do we holster it, how do we make it stop?"
"Well, usually the operative completes his task and either blows his head off or steals a submarine." Xander added seeing our faces. "Which isn't an option here I know."
"All right we need information." Buffy said giving out assignments, gently. "Non killing ones. Spike's a bomb we need to find a safe way to diffuse him."
She glanced at Dawn and Willow.
"You two, I wanna know what did this to him. Spirits, ghosts, demons—check the lot of them. Look for anything that could haunt or-or possibly control like this, we need to know exactly what we're dealing with."
"We're going to figure this out Tor." Willow told me laying a hand on mine, all of them nodded, I stared at them nearly crying again at all the love and support.
-----
Feeling as little calm as I could be, I carried a bowl of warm water and a washcloth walking down into the basement tunnels and into the room Spike was placed.
He was now chained down to a little cot, the chains were bolted to the wall, but they were long enough for him to lay down and move about while not being able to break out of them. These chains were made to handle a Lycan.
I hated every moment of this, I moved kneeling down beside the cot, sitting the bowl on the ground beside me and stared at him eye level for a few minutes. He looked so peaceful when he wasn't awake, I could get a clear look at his face, I lifted my hand and gingerly ran my thumb across his brow.
I dipped the cloth I had into the water and slowly washed the blood off his face, laying my hand on his cheek and gently caressed him.
---
I felt Spike start to stir, waking up, coiling away from me, he refused to look me in the eye.
"Did I hurt anybody?"
"Took a good bite out of Andrew." I told him masking my emotions.
"Who?" He asked
"From the nerd squad." I told him rolling my eyes. "He's Tucker's brother, it's a long story."
"Oh." He said nodding.
"He's fine." I told him shrugging.
"I don't remember." He told me in pain.
"It's okay." I told him, tossing the rag back into the bowl and stood up, moving to the sink.
"Tori, I don't know why." Spike said sitting up, making me sigh and run a hand through my hair.
"We think we do." I told him setting the bowl in the sink, taking a deep breath. "Something's playing you, some ghost or demon has figured out how to control you, Xander has this theory you're being triggered, which makes sense." I shrugged. "It's not the first time an enemy has gone through our families to get to Buffy or I... the gang's working on it."
"Kill me."
I turned to him in shock.
"What?"
"Tor you have to kill me." He told me finally looking up at me.
I stared at him feeling every emotion out there.
"You don't understand. When I left the room earlier, I heard you talking to someone-" I trailed off.
"Do you have any idea what I'm capable of?" He asked.
"You're not the first vamp I've had to take down." I told him frowning deeper. "Besides I was in the cellar with you, I saw what you did, I felt it. Pain and confusion, I'm still feeling it."
"I'm not talking about the cellar love." He told me sighing. "The people in the cellar got off easy. I'm talking about me. Baby you have never met the real me."
"Believe me, I'm well aware of what you're capable of." I told him crossing my arms. "Maybe a little more than others."
He stood up.
"No, you got off easy too." He told me turning to look at me. "Do you know how much blood you can drink from a girl before she'll die. I do. You see, the trick is to drink just enough to know how to damage them just enough so that they'll still cry when you." He started crying like he was choking. "Cause it's not worth it if they don't cry."
"It's not your fault." I told him gently. "You're not the one doing this."
"I already did it, it's already done." He told me, pacing a little and stepped purposefully towards me. "You wanna know what I've done to girls around Dawn's age? What if I end up doing it to Olivia too? Oh god just the thought of that...This is me Tori, you've got to kill me before I get out."
Tears were rolling down my face again worse than before, and I didn't even try to stop them. He noticed and looked at me in surprise.
"Do you seriously not care about what would happen to me if you weren't around?" I asked staring him down. "Have you any idea the pain I'd go through? We're mates Spike or have you forgotten? You die, I die with you... I live like a zombie, that unending worse than death pain I'd have... I watched my mother go through this, she was dying a slow death from the moment Daddy died until her heart couldn't take it anymore." I paused for a moment shaking my head. "I won't live like that, it's not fair for you to ask me to do that...." I frowned deeper, trying to calm down but the tears wouldn't stop. "I don't care what bad things you've done. My grandfather and father did things too, there's not a member in my family that hasn't done things but they overcame them and you're going to, too."
I walked over to him, close as I could get.
"I've seen you do good things too; you've fought by my side, you've saved lives. You made life, a beautiful little life." I added earning a soften look. "You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. And you will be, because Olivia needs you...I need you... but you can't give up fighting, that's what our family does is fight to stay together... I forbid you from dying."
He looked at me in amusement.
"You forbid me?"
I nodded.
"I won't lose another person that I love." I added firmly, shaking my head. "Not this time."
He stared at me in shock, making me realize what I just said and stared back at him for a second sharing his surprised emotion before relaxing and gave him a gentler one.
"I love you." I repeated confidently. "I never cared rather you had a soul or not and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before you made that decision... " I paused just crying more at the idea, he looked at me frowning. "I should have but you blinked before I could even register everything that was going on.... You took a very big risk and I understand your heart was in the right place but... I just wanted you... to be with me, to stay alive.. I didn't want to lose you like I lost Mama and daddy..."
Even though Spike was angry and hating himself and wanted to die. He seemed hopeful and gave a small smile, leaning forward to kiss my cheek and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into him, making sure the chains didn't touch my skin.
"You have to survive." I muttered sniffling as more tears rolled down my face. "You're not allowed to leave me... not again."
He laid his head against mine; he calmly wiped the water from my face.
"I love you. " I added staring into his eyes, I saw light in them.
He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh.
He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off, the lights flickered and went out, someone busted through the door and shoved me away from him, into the farther wall.
"TORI!"
I hit it pretty hard with my back and fell to the floor. Growling I felt my fangs poking through and stood sneering at a man. No it wasn't a man.
It was covered head to toe in a long, black hooded robe with wooden staff and no eyes, my eyes clicked into realization. The person was dark.
The Bringers, the First Evil's army was in my house......Every vampire's worse nightmare.
I hissed, clicking my fangs down threateningly and got to my feet snarling moving in front of my mate protectively when everything went dark.
----
Regaining my consciousness, I heard yelling upstairs and sped jumped to my feet racing upstairs and joined in the fight.
I joined Buffy's side while Nick and Dawn were side by side fighting.
Dawn pushed one of the Bringers off her, elbowing him in the face and made him fall, Nick fought several of them viciously.
I had one I was fighting, I pushed him into a wall, punching him in the face, he hit me in the face with his staff, I fell back a little spitting out the blood in my mouth. He came at me swinging the staff, but I ducked catching it and slammed him in the face with it, he went down.
A bringer grabbed Dawn from behind, attempting to strangle her.
"Nicky! Tori!"
Nick and I stopped mid fight looking over at her, I tossed her the staff I had.
She used it to hit her attacker, elbowing him, making him let go and tossed it back to me.
The Bringer tackled Dawn to the floor, but she kicked him in the head and over hers, he rolled into the wall behind her. The demon tried to grab her again, but Nicky took the staff from me and pushed him against the wall, turning to throw him to the floor and bashed his head in with the staff.
Once it was dead, Nick turned handing me back the staff and helped Dawn to her feet.
"You okay?" Nick asked worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm great." She told him grinning. "Those extra lessons you gave me are paying off."
Nick smiled at her, reaching up to push strained hair out of her face.
I smiled at them lightly until I felt enormous pain in my chest and let out a huge cry, collapsing to my knees.
"Tori?" I heard someone say, I hugged myself nearly in tears the pain wasn't going away. I glanced up seeing Buffy and Xander coming over to my side.
Willow, Nick and Dawn came to me kneeling down.
"Tori what is it?" I heard Nick ask.
My mind clicked in realization; I stood up stumbling and dropped the staff. Xander reached out stabling me.
"Take it easy."
"No...No....No" I told them shaking my head and headed for the basement.
I stumbled down the stairs into the tunnels and into the room, with the gang hot on my heels, only to see the room and shackles empty.
"No." I muttered inching closer and fell to my knees, my eyes watered. "Spike!....no."
-----
We were all back up in the living room, I was in my chair just crying not caring who saw, feeling like I just lost again. I couldn't breathe.
Willow was carrying my first aid kit, Anya, Nick and Dawn were on the couch. Buffy and Xander stood.
"They were so fast and organized." Xander said handing me a drink.
I took it slowly, taking a sip.
"They were after Spike all along." I told them sniffling. "I should have known."
"No one could have known." Xander told me gently. "We were just in the way."
Buffy knelt down to inspect one of the robed guys who was lying face up on the floor.
"I know these guys." Buffy told us. "We fought them before."
"We aren't being haunted." I added drawing attention. "This isn't some demon. It's all the same thing. Spike's ghosts, the people you guys saw, from beneath us, it's all the same thing. I know what we're up against. The First and it took my mate from under my nose."
"He's going to be okay Tori." Buffy told me.
"I told him I loved him." I told her letting the tears just flow. "And now he's gone...am I going to lose him now too?"
She and Will frowned, Buffy came over and pulled me into a hug.
"No never." Buffy told me sternly. "We're going to get him back, I promise."
"Yeah we're on your side." Xander added.
I looked at them, seeing them all staring at me with support until another shot of pain came and I grabbed at my chest groaning.
"Tori."
"They're hurting him." I muttered trailing off, feeling more tears just roll down, Buffy pulled me into another hug.
Xander and Willow came over and joined in and just let me cry.
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New Chapter!
12/12/2022
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Seriously cried writing this, every time Victoria cries I wanna cry!
Poor Tori!