CHAPTER SIXTY !
[ real life ]
❝ EVEN IF IT'S FAKE ❞
📂﹖﹕𓂃𐩐💻
ʳᵉᵃˡ ˡⁱᶠᵉ
matt's eyes widen at the sight of aurora. see, he was planning on taking his time and then going in when he was ready to face her wrath but now she's just appeared in front of him.
his pacing halts immediately and aurora is suddenly storming towards him, anger already creating flame behind her eyes that are destined to burn matt's entire being.
"you are a fucking asshole," aurora says once she reaches matt, catching up to him where he still stands in front of the school doors.
"aurora," he sighs, deciding on attempting to take the calm route since he knows she won't. "i know this probably looks shitty but-"
"no, matt, you don't fucking know," she instantly cuts him off, beginning to raise her voice in frustration and matt can practically sense the way she's about to shove her finger at his chest aggressively before she even does it. "i needed you yesterday and you weren't there. why? why are suddenly fucking disappearing off the face of the earth when we just decided to try and make things work? why the fuck do you think it's okay to push me away after we just talked through things and explained we weren't going to do that anymore?" she takes a closer step towards him so they're really face to face.
he glances over her angry face, eyes a little panicky as he really, really, really underestimated how upset she'd be. there's not just anger—but fury, written all over her expression. it was only a little less than twenty-four hours, he really didn't expect the time to matter this much. "aurora, i—i don't know how to explain anything to you," he breathes, trying to contain all the thoughts he's been thinking about all fucking day "i just-"
"bullshit," she interrupts him furiously, face all twisted up as she turns on her heels. he knows he deserves the interruption but it still irritates him a lot. his eyebrows furrow and she begins to walk towards the doors, pushing them open forcefully and continuing to storm away from him. okay great, we're doing this, he thinks.
matt groans to himself, instantly heading the same way as her and following her outside. the cold air hits his face immediately, making him shudder as the rain still pouring hits the ground past the small roof they're under. why the fuck does she have to take this outside into the freezing cold where it's literally pouring? fuck him for being in love with a crazy person. she's about to go straight down the stairs and into the freezing rain when his voice stops her, his hand running down his face stressfully. "where the fuck are you going? it's raining. just come back inside," he calls, frustration now completely taking over his voice.
"i'd rather walk in this freezing ass rain than talk to your dumbass right now," she calls back, stepping dead into the rain and making matt sigh hopelessly. a manic. he's in love with a fucking maniac.
matt internally curses himself before following along her, ignoring the way that as soon as the rain ricochets off of him, a shiver goes down his spine. it's ridiculously fucking cold but he begins to follow behind her anyway. "can you stop running away?" he raises his voice slightly, not wanting to be angry with the girl since he knows this is his fault but yes, being angry with her for taking this into the freezing rain. "i wouldn't of come here if i didn't want to fucking talk to you."
she turns around abruptly, taking him off guard as he doesn't stop walking fast enough so he bumps into her slightly. he takes the step back as she looks up at him in complete annoyance. he internally prepares herself for all that this will be before she opens her mouth. "so you want to talk to me? like i wanted to talk to you once i got home yesterday and all of today?" she questions, matt obviously sensing her sarcasm before she even continues on. okay yeah, fair, he deserves the sarcasm. "that's fucking unfair. you can't randomly decide to shut me out and expect me to say, 'oh no, it's fine,'" she tells him seriously, her voice a mocking one before she yells, "it's not fucking fine, matt!"
matt almost flinches back from her anger. he really didn't see her being this full of rage. it's almost like there's something more to it than him just leaving her on read and avoiding her. he takes in a deep breath. "okay i get that, i do, but—"
"do you?" she cuts him off, her anger blinding the way he's clearly becoming irritated with her impatience. he's trying to fucking talk to her now. that's obviously better than how he wasn't doing it before! like come on. "because you've done this shit multiple times and i still have yet to hear a good fucking reason."
"that's hypocritical," he responds, his own frustration taking her by surprise as her mouth instantly drops in offense. he's angry too now. "you've done the same shit to me countless fucking times! you don't get to scream at me for the same exact shit you've done to me since literally elementary school."
her jaw clenches with complete annoyance. "oh, so we're bringing up elementary school shit again now? okay, matt."
"yeah, we fucking are honestly," he shrugs coldly, now completely just as annoyed with her as she is with him. "because then, you heard one thing and ran with it and wouldn't let me explain myself. instead, you completely shut me out and refused to actually communicate the fucking issue with me. and looking now, you clearly are doing the same bullshit. i understand that i shouldn't have disappeared today but maybe you should let me speak instead of continuously talking over me."
aurora raises her eyebrows at him, an offended look on her face. "you don't get to pull that shit on me. i have changed since then, or at least i'm actually trying!" she exclaims furiously. "i get that i pushed you away when we kissed for the first time and i get that i pushed you away after you kissed someone else and i get that i pushed you away when i got with ross—and i take full accountability for it. honestly," she tells him genuinely, her tone lightening to communicate with him and it almost has his eyes softening before her voice returns to the harsher version when she continues talking. "but i let you back in yesterday, i put my fucking walls down for you. i don't want to push you away anymore, matt. i want to be with you. you are the one suddenly shutting me out again. you are the one going back on your words yesterday and ignoring me instead of talking to me about whatever the fuck it is!"
matt's face falters, words making guilt swirl in his stomach. he wants to argue her point but he can't. she has taken accountability for every thing she's said and ever since yesterday, she has at least tried to communicate more. matt's the one so against talking things through. she's right, and it makes him unfairly more angry. "aurora," is all he can manage to say.
she shakes her head at him, wiping some of the water droplets all over her face frustratedly and looking back at him. "what do you want from me, matt?" she asks harshly, taking him off guard. he gets deja vu from the question but he doesn't even have enough time to process it before she's speaking again. "i'm trying here. i'm really fucking trying. do you even want to be with me? do you want to just go on ignoring each other? do you want to go back to hating each other? honestly, make up your fucking min—"
"no, fucking stop it," he cuts her off aggressively, making her scoff in offense as he tries to run an anxious hand through his completely soaked hair now. all he needs to hear is that for him to be reminded of why he was suddenly so against talking about his feelings. "i'm so tired of you taking the word hate and running with it. i'm tired of it leaving your mouth when you're referring to me," he explains coldly, his words not even making sense to her and catching her completely off guard. "how do you still think i ever hated you? i clearly never did, not a single fucking time."
time stops for a moment and her eyebrows furrow completely. "what..." she speaks questionably, her voice lowering to a quiet one as she's suddenly more aware of the rain crashing down on them.
a silence forms between them and the sound of the rain hitting the ground is almost deafening to aurora before matt finally sighs. her voice is lowering and she's not interrupting him, this is his chance to actually communicate how he feels. "i never fucking hated you, aurora. i was just mad you did and i needed a way for you to talk to me," he tells her honestly, making her face all the more confused as her heart rate quickens dramatically. "i was literally pretending the whole time, i just got so caught up with it that i forgot my true feelings most of the time."
she stares at him in disbelief, not wanting to believe it. how could he have been pretending the entire time? she had always felt so sure there was nothing but fury between them. his glares of hatred seemed so sincere, so real. "i thought we just always hated each other," her eyebrows are still tremendously furrowed. "it would really make sense for you to hate me since well, now i know i completely fucked you over for no reason after fifth grade," she tells him obviously, almost thinking he's insane for not hating her.
"yeah i should," he agrees easily. "but i don't," he also says just as easily, taking a small step closer to her. he takes in a breath before allowing himself to be vulnerable and practically pleading with the girl, "now please fucking tell me you don't either."
"what?" she asks instinctively, taken aback and not digesting what he's asking of her.
"tell me that you don't hate, that you never have," he clarifies anxiously, an almost begging tone to his voice. "the entire reasoning you've built behind hating me was fake and my entire 'hatred' for you was also fake so please, for fucks sake, tell me—"
"of course i don't fucking hate you, matt," she cuts him off immediately, looking at him like he's a madman for assuming there's any part of her that could hate him right now. "i've known i didn't hate you since you punched fucking cameron for me and i realized i never really did in the first place after i read your notes and saw the truth."
"oh thank fuck," he sighs, relief washing over him as he takes a new step towards her. "i just tho—"
"wait," she interrupts him, her eyebrows beginning to furrow as her heart sinks slightly. "is that why you ghosted? you thought i still 'hated' you?"
matts taken aback by her suddenly interrupting him again so he takes a second to register her question and form a reply. when he opens his mouth to answer, she's already taken his silence as one.
"what the fuck? how could you ever think i had an ounce of hatred towards you after yesterday?" she accuses harshly, anger reforming in her words that has matt sighing internally. "why would you just assume and disa—"
matt shakes his head repeatedly. "okay no, sto—"
"no, matt, seriously what the—"
can she stop fucking cutting him off, holy shit? "can you just stop talking and list—"
"LISTEN? like you apparently haven't listened to—"
"oh my god," he groans loudly, cutting her off completely by making his voice loud enough to make her words stop leaving her mouth. if she wants to keep interrupting him, he'll interrupt her too. "can you shut up for one fucking second so i can tell you i'm in love with you!" he yells completely, annoyance taking over his tone and his general thought process that would usually have him think before shouting something like that. his eyes immediately widen and he almost wants to clamp his eyes shut so he won't have to watch her reaction after he realizes what just slipped out of his mouth. he is so fucking stupid, holy shit. he was supposed to do it all kindly and in a nice approachable way but instead he screamed at her? literally what?
auroras lips part so far her jaw is practically on the ground. her heart stops in her chest and it's like time freezes around them, the sound of the rain hitting the pavement disappearing from her ears. her breath hitches and she's sure she might just fall over and die because what the fuck, matt loves her.
matt though, is apparently too anxious by watching her face change and waiting for her to say something so he just turns around. he can not do this! so he turns around and begins to walk. he just walks away.
aurora snaps out of her slight daze and her eyebrows immediately scrunch together. "matt?" she calls out hastily, instantly walking with him as his movement don't pause. "what the fuck?"
"i shouldn't of said that," is all he says as he seriously continues to walk down the parking lot and away from her.
aurora huffs loudly. "stop fucking walking away!" she calls out.
he continues walking away.
she groans internally. "this fucking kid," she mumbles to herself before speed walking to catch up with him. when she's close enough for her to reach out and grab him, she grabs his wrist and pulls him back aggressively to try and make him turn around. like the little stubborn shithead he is, he doesn't budge. so, she tries to take the same route as him. "why are you running away when i'm trying to tell you i love you too, you fucking dipshit!" she yells loudly, immediately feeling satisfied when yeah, he turns around abruptly.
it's his turn to stare at her with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. this time, since aurora isn't as dumb as him, she doesn't walk away like he did. she stands there in front of him and watches his face continuously change.
"what?" is what he first says, shock still clear in his voice like the idea of her returning the same deep feelings is unbelievable.
she almost wants to roll her eyes at his dumbfounded face but she doesn't because that was her face also just a minute ago. "you heard me," she says obviously.
"are you being serious?" he asks in disbelief. "you're in love with me?"
she gives him a deadpanned look. "matt, i literally just said tha-"
he shakes his head repeatedly, as if trying to wake himself up from a dream of sorts. when it doesn't work, he takes in a long, deep breath and finally takes a step towards her. he glances over her face and his eyes become soft, internally reliving her that he seems to be out of the shock stage. "say it again," he says this time, catching her off guard.
"what?" she questions, now it being her turn to look clueless.
"say it again," he repeats, now more sure in his words.
she registers what he's asking of her and narrows her eyes slightly, tilting her head as she looks at him. "oh, was the first time not good eno-"
he shakes his head once, his face only slightly moving as he doesn't even have the chance to take in her joking manner. he's still busy trying to comprehend the fact that the girl he's basically been in love with since elementary school who he never thought he'd be able to have, feels the same as him. "just say it again, aurora," his voice is surprisingly quiet, a desperation in his voice that makes her eyes soften. "please. even if it's fake, even it's a lie, even if you only said it to get me to stop walking away. i don't fucking care, i just wanna hear it again."
"i'm in love with you, matt," she wastes no time to speak confidently, lightening her tone to a gentle one as his face softens with assurance. "i realized it just yesterday but i'm pretty sure i've always loved you. and it's the gross type, not just a short puppy love but the kind of disgusting, life-consuming shit," she tells him. "when i first read that note that i thought you wrote at the time, it really hurt because i had this huge ass crush on you. now though, i realize it was love. it's always been love and that's why it hurt so much," she tries her best to explain what she's come to terms with since yesterday, watching as his brows furrow slightly.
"i shut you out because i never wanted to feel it again and well, it's all my parents have ever taught me to do. i never wanted to feel that hurt again and i knew if i heard you out, there was chance it could've hurt more if you admitted to it. i pushed you away and told myself it was better to 'hate' you than to have you hurt me again," she speaks genuinely, beginning to make every thing make a lot more sense for matt. "it wasn't better. it was complete shit and it wasn't even real. i'm tired of hating and i'm tired of pretending when i know now that i've only ever really loved you. i am so fucking in love with you, matt, and i'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. i never would've settled for fake glares and half-assed insults if i knew i could've had you like this the whole time," she lets it all out, her entire thought process honestly.
matt's lips part at her words, the rain and all surroundings fading out around them. he's sure he's wanted to hear these type of words from her all of his life. his heart has genuinely never felt so full in his chest as it does right now.
aurora tilts her head at his lack of words, raising her eyebrows and beginning to tease because it's her, that's what she does, and he is so in love with her for it. "hello???" she questions. "are you even hearing me? i'm fucking in lo—"
she's cut off by matt shooting forward and connecting their lips. his hands desperately come to rest on the back of her neck, pulling her impossibly close to him. she's taken aback for just a second before she snaps out of it and places her hands over both of his cheeks. she pulls him closer to her and the tugging back and fourth causes them to stumble a bit. as they trail back from where they originally stood because of his consistent pulling, she disconnects their lips and can't help to let out a giggle. his lips instantly turn up at the sound and he lets out a breath. "i hear you, i hear you, i hear you," he mumbles repeatedly, really getting the point across.
"yeah?" she grins, allowing her thumbs to rub against the softness of his cheeks and wipe away some of the rain scattered across his face that continuously pour down in water droplets. "i'd kind of hope so," she teases as matt's hands trail down to her waist, the same grin on her face taking over his. the two together are almost bright enough to light up the dark night sky above them.
she leans in to connect their lips once more but surprisingly, he shakes his head. her eyebrows scrunch together just slightly. "what?" she questions.
"can't keep kissing you until i ask this," he murmurs, just making aurora grow all the more confused. matt, if possible, just grins wider at how her face scrunches up in curiosity. she's so pretty when she has no clue what's going on.
"ask me what?" she asks impatiently.
he smirks slightly at how desperate she is for him to give her insight on what he's planning to just ask already. he tightens his grip around her waist, sliding his arms around and connecting them in the back. "let me your boyfriend," he finally gets out, his voice a mere whisper. "can i please be your boyfriend, rory?"
a grin instantly takes over the confusion that had previously consumed her face. "yes," she breathes, nodding repeatedly. "yes," she says again, pulling his face closer to her as he grins so widely he's sure the muscles in his face might snap. "you can totally be my fucking boyfriend, matt."
"was really hoping you'd say that," he whispers before quickly leaning in and reconnecting their lips. it's a ridiculously happy kiss, one where they're struggling to hold back their grins the entire time and manage to pull each other as close as humanly possible.
"YEAH, MATT!!!"
a shout instantly breaks the pair apart, them immediately turning on high alarm. they share a confused look, both pairs of eyebrows becoming tremendously furrowed before they turn their heads and begin to search for the cause.
"NICK???" matt yells in complete confusion when he spots him sitting in the passenger seat of a random car. why the fuck is he creeping on them in a random persons car?
nick just bursts out laughing as aurora spots him. his lips clearly read something like 'look at their fucking faces' as he laughs and that makes it even more confusing until the drivers window opens and elijah's head comes out. "HEY AND WATCH YOUR HANDS," he shouts loudly although amusement is clear in his voice. "THATS MY FUCKING SISTER, MATT!" matt's eyes widen and he instantly removes his hands from where they were still on auroras waist, taking a large step back as he's now being watched by her brother.
auroras face scrunches up in complete confusion before she focuses on nicks extremely joyous face and shares a look with matt. they seem to have noticed the same thing as it sinks in that elijah and nick are in a car together. they grin at each other before both automatically rushing over to nick and elijah's sides of the car.
"nick, what the fuck!" aurora is quick to whisper-shout once she reaches nicks window, his face beginning to grow bashful as he just giggles. "you abandoned me to hang out with my brother?"
"well, duh," he answers dubiously, making aurora scoff lightheartedly. she begins to just smirk at him as matt and elijah have their own conversation in elijah's side.
"are you two..." aurora trails off, wiggling her eyebrows at him and making him hold in a groan.
he looks over to elijah for a moment before looking back to aurora and lowering his voice, "i... think so," he whispers, immediately making aurora grin and almost squeal before he stops her, "but don't say anything! i don't know!" he basically whisper-shouts.
"okay, okay, i won't," she legitimately giggles, looking over at her brother and then back to nick. "i just can't believe this like... WHAT?"
"i know," he grins, sighing contently and leaning back in his seat. "you know what this means, right?"
"no?" she says questionably. "what?"
"we can totally jam out to best friends brother by the victorious cast together now," he tells her obviously, her face instantly twisting back into one of amusement.
she laughs slightly before sighing to herself, "i still can't believe your dumbass of a brother is the one for me."
nick tilts his head. "i can."
a freezing hand wraps around auroras waist and she almost jumps until she focuses back on elijah's side and realizes matt has disappeared. she instantly turns in his hold just as he speaks a teasing, "woah, shit talking me already, 'rora? we've been together for not even five minutes."
she grins at him, tiling her head slightly. "talking shit is my love language," she tells him pointedly. "you should know this by now."
"you're right," he agrees with a teasing grin. "should've made that way more clearer in the beginning though. definitely would've saved us a lot of time in the long run."
she just playfully rolls her eyes at him and his grin widens even more if possible. they almost get lost in their own world before elijah coughs awkwardly, making their eyes snap away from each other and nick to laugh loudly. "keep forgetting you're there, eli," matt clears his throat.
"mhm," he hums. "now, you guys done with the dance or what? because you've kinda just been standing in the rain."
"oh!" aurora realizes, then sighing of relief. "i'm actually so glad you said that because this rain is FREEZING and the dance is ass," she emphasizes her words loudly, making nick chuckle and nod in agreement.
"oh what?" matt speaks up, raising his eyebrows as aurora turns to look back at him. "you don't wanna dance?"
she gives him a tilt of her head. "we're literally soaking wet, matt."
"yeah," he sighs, his shoulders slumping. "we'll just have to find some other time then."
she raises her eyebrows at him, a grin teasing her lips. "since when have you been a dancing type of guy, matt?"
"uh, since i got a girlfriend?" he answers like it's common knowledge. "duh."
"OKAY!" nick shouts, them having to be snapped out of their slight trance again. the twos eyes widen and they instantly look over to nick. "can you grab everyone else then...? or are we just leaving them here?"
"oh yeah!" matt suddenly remembers everyone else's existence. "i was actually thinking since it's friday the group could all come back to ours," he suggests, referring to his and his brothers home seeing as they don't have school tomorrow.
aurora is instantly relieved, yet a frown pulls at her features. she had forgotten about her family issues until now because of how happy she was in the moment. "yeah, that's a good idea," she immediately agrees, sending him a small smile before looking over to elijah. "you gonna come, eli?"
he debates on it for a moment before glancing to nick, then back to aurora. "yeah," he decides, making her hold back a sigh of relief. "i don't see why not."
"okay great," aurora grins, turning back to matt. "me and matt will go grab every one else then."
the two then do exactly that. they walk through the rain hand in hand until they make it to the school doors. when they're about to open them though, they both pause slightly. "was someone just.. in the doors window?" aurora speaks questionably, earning furrowed eyebrows from matt. he hesitantly shrugs before they walk in.
once they open the doors though, they're immediately bombarded by venus, raven, kingston, makayla, and chris. their eyes widen comically and raven is the first to shout, "tell us what we want to know!"
matt and aurora blink. "what?" she asks dumbly.
"did you guys make up or did you just smooch for fun?!" venus yells, matt and aurora both raising their eyebrows immediately.
"were you guys just watching us or-"
"SHUT UP AND ANSWER THE QUESTION, MATT," kingston cuts him off aggressively, causing him to roll his eyes.
matt sighs, suddenly growing bashful about it. he doesn't say that much, just holds up his and auroras connected hands and mumbles out a quiet, "we're dating or whatever." aurora is instantly giggling at his shyness to admitting it.
all of the group legitimately begins to cheer. "YEAHHHH," chris shouts with a proud grin like he wasn't clowning on matt earlier today for not answering aurora.
kingston shoves his way to the front to aggressively, grabbing ahold of matt's shoulders and shaking them. "YOU!!! LOCKED!!! IT!!! DOWN!!! BRO!!!" he exclaims loudly, making matt blink repeatedly before grinning in amusement.
"yeah, i locked it down," he repeats with a small chuckle.
💌
everyone finally being happy😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
5 chapters left to go guys...
this marks the end of angst😘😘 WAR IS OVER!!!! unless u like count hurt + comfort bc auroras step dad will obvi be brought up & matt will find out but MATT & AURORA HAVE REACHED THEIR HAPPY ERA WOOOOO
congrats on even making it this far into the book with my in-consecutive updates❤️❤️❤️❤️appreciate u all so extremely much
<3
jaden