"There was a small part of me that was still childish, stubborn in her hope, thinking I could somehow have everything. That I could be all the versions of me, stacked inside one another, and find someone who would want them all. But that's childhood. Before you realize that every step is a choice. That something must be given up for something to be gained. Everything on a scale, a weighing of desires, an ordering of which you want more-and what you'd be willing to give for it." - Megan Miranda, All the Missing Girls
•••
"Who is he?" Ivy asked, gesturing to where Mario was starting to get the crowds attention at the engagement party.
"My brother." Bird answered as she swooped up a glass of champagne from the waiter's tray near them.
"I thought Bruce was your brother." Ivy's face twisted.
Turning to face her companion for the remainder of the party Bird blew out a sigh, "I'm his adopted sister. I'm Mario's half-sister, by blood."
"But I thought you were really a Wayne, like... by blood too..."
"I am." Bird nodded, "My biological mother was a Wayne."
"But-" Ivy started to say until Bird cut her off, "Ivy. I know how incredibly confusing my lineage is-"
"Confusing? How about awesome!" Ivy exclaimed, her eyes wide, "You're a Wayne and Falcone. You know you could be like running this city, right? And-and I could help you."
"Help me do what?" Bird was only half-listening to her at this point.
"Be a queen." Ivy's voice was buzzing with excitement, "We could make people give us money and wait on us and do whatever we wanted to them to do and-"
"Ivy." Bird began, "I'm just trying to live my life, okay? Not start an empire."
"But-" The younger woman started with a whine in her tone.
"Power isn't everything." Bird practically shushed her, "I had the chance to take over once. Falcone was prepping me to fill his shoes but I didn't want it then and I don't want it now, okay?"
Ivy's brows furrowed. Power isn't everything?
Bird's words played over in her head and sounded just as ridiculous the second time around.
Then it occurred to her that of course Bird felt that way. Her last name alone gave her power. Her wealth did too.
She was born with it, so it naturally didn't seem that big of a deal to her.
Ivy's train of thought was interrupted by the clinking of metal against glass and the crowd of voices turned into whispers and murmurs.
"Excuse me." Bird quietly said to Ivy when she saw Don Falcone motioning for her to join them at the front of the room, "I'm being summoned."
Plastering a smile on her face, Bird nodded and shook a few hands on her way to where Falcone was standing.
"My father and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye." Mario began his speech and the room erupted in laughter, "But I think, dad, you'll agree." He continued, "That marrying Lee is the best decision I've ever made."
"Without a doubt." Falcone chuckled.
Lee glanced back at the former crime boss with a wide smile on her face, then her eyes fell to where Bird was standing beside him and watching her intently.
"Lee." Mario got his fiance's attention, "You're a doctor, a member of our city's police department. You're funny, compassionate and brilliant. Despite insisting all dogs are boys and all cats are girls-"
Again, the room came alive with laughter.
"I've tried to correct her. It's hopeless." Mario chuckled, "I've loved you since the moment I saw you."
Various whispers and adoring awes sounded from the crowd as Mario stepped closer to his soon to be wife, before pulling her in for a kiss.
"I'm glad you decided to make an appearance." Falcone said as he looked towards his biological daughter who was keeping a distant eye on the redhead she'd brought with her to the party.
"Hmm." A hum noise accompanied the breath Bird blew out, "You made it clear that I didn't have much of a choice." She reminded him, a smile still on her face in case any of the press at the soiree snapped a picture of her.
"This is a family event. A celebration." He reminded her, "Your brother is getting married."
"My half-brother." Bird retorted, "Who I only met months ago."
He glanced at her. Their already strained relationship had only been rockier since she'd found out he'd known all along The Court of Owls had been behind her parents' murders.
The night all of the animosity she felt towards him had been reignited; and he'd so easily thrown both her past and how she only came aground when she wanted something in her face.
Not a particularly high moment for either of them.
"Mario is a good man." Falcone said the same thing Bird kept hearing from everyone over and over again, before he verbally nudged, "You should get to know him."
Bird opened her mouth, several comments threatened to spill out. Each on the tip of her tongue, most of them would have been just as bitter and childish as she felt in that moment.
After all, it was only moments ago that Mario was publicly gushing about how much he loved Lee and their father looked as though he couldn't have been prouder.
And in Bird's mind, it didn't feel like all that long ago he'd came down on her for being too emotional. Forced her into working under him, working alongside Zsasz in an attempt to toughen her up.
The night of the Founders Dinner when she and Oswald had been taking jabs at one another, he'd known just where to cut her -pointing out she was always second best.
That was exactly how she'd always felt. Growing up, despite the age difference with Bruce being several years younger than her, she'd never measured up to him in their parents eyes.
And now damned if she wasn't feeling the very same thing about Mario.
She didn't respond.
Knowing the remarks she wanted to make wouldn't change anything; that all they'd earn would be either a stern look from Falcone or possibly even a verbal reprimand to confirm exactly what she already knew, that she was being childish. That she needed to let go and move forward.
Closing her eyes she pulled in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, trying to release some of the negativity along with it.
"If you'll excuse me..." Bird said, half of the parting spoke over her shoulder as she walked away in search of Ivy.
She'd only just found her when one of the reporters circling the room made her way over to them.
"Starling Wayne!"
"Bird." Both Bird and Ivy corrected at the same time.
When Bird looked over at her, Ivy gave a wink as if to say she had her back and then shot the reporter a scowl, "She likes to be called Bird."
"Of course." The reporter was taken aback, "My apologies, miss...?"
"Ivy." She flipped her curled auburn hair over her shoulder.
"Hi." Bird interrupted extending a hand and charismatic smile to the eager young woman with a notepad in hand, "I hope you're enjoying the celebration."
Bird couldn't remember the name of the female reporter, but she'd spoken with her before at various events.
She looked to the man holding the camera who'd been following the reporter around the room. He looked to be barely out of high school and rather starstruck.
"It's quite the event!" The reporter remarked.
"Right!" Ivy nearly squealed as if she was in the conversation, "There are sooo many rich people here, it's crazy."
"Ivy." Bird stammered, "Why don't you go get a drink."
Ivy crossed her arms over her chest, she wasn't stupid, she knew when someone was trying to get rid of her.
"Fine."
The word echoed in the air as she turned and nearly stomped over to the bar.
Seeing the reporter staring at her, pen hovering above the notebook, Bird offered a smile -as much as she didn't want to give an interview for the sure to be lengthy article coming out in the papers about that night, she also didn't want the only mentions of her to be about the encounter they'd had with Ivy.
"Forgive me." Bird shook her head, "I know we've met before but I can't quite place you-"
"Erica." She tucked some hair behind her ear, "Gotham Tribune."
"That's right." Bird nodded.
The paper wasn't near as popular as the Gazette; but still had quite a large audience.
"Do you mind?" Erica asked, drawing Bird's eyes to the notebook waiting to be filled with quotes from party-goers that evening.
"Of course not."
She kept the smile on her face.
Doing another scan visual scan of the room, Erica began, "I couldn't help but notice that James Gordon is absent tonight."
"Work." Bird's gracious expression faltered.
She'd thought they'd want her thoughts on the upcoming wedding, not her own personal life.
"Someone has to keep the city safe." Bird quickly recovered.
"That can't be easy, being in a relationship with a police officer. I mean, with your ties to organized crime." Erica not so subtly tried to provoke her.
Bird blankly stared at her; torn between the various ways she wanted to answer that.
Her first instinct was a joke at how cops have always been in bed with criminals; but she couldn't.
Not only would her words have taken completely out of context, but that would also mean further tying herself to crime in the media.
How she longed for the days when she could say whatever came to mind without over-thinking the consequences.
Simpler times.
"How did you feel when you first heard that Leslie Thompkins was engaged to marry your brother? Her past with Gordon... that must make things awkward..."
"Thrilled." Bird beamed, before toning back the sarcasm and knowing the only way out of this was to fake it.
"I mean honestly, I couldn't be happier for them." Bird clasped her hands.
"Really?" Erica arched a brow, "Just one big happy family now? Even though she was was pregnant with James' baby when he was sentenced to life in Blackgate?"
Vultures.
Bird thought to herself.
The reporters in Gotham were all vultures. Always seeking out and feeding on the dark details.
Far more interested in writing up gossip columns over covering actual news headlines.
Bird glanced to the side to see Lee standing there. She'd been passing by them as she worked her way around the room and was brought to a halt upon overhearing the reporter's words.
"Oh!" Erica exclaimed as she realized who was watching them.
Her eyes darted between Bird and Lee, waiting to see what would transpire next. Greedily hoping for the worst.
For drama. Tears. Anger. Anything she could use to get her story on the front page.
"Life is full of tragedy." Bird spoke up, "And that is what makes times like this infinitely more special. Life is so full of the bad that when something -or someone good comes into your life you hang on it."
Bird extended her hand to Lee, who seemed unsure, but accepted the gesture and took her hand. Stepping closer.
"And it's true... Lee and I were connected before Mario ever came into the picture. With my current relationship with Jim and their past, it could easily be an awkward situation... but it's not." Giving Lee's hand a squeeze Bird added, "I admire her strength... and I couldn't be happier to welcome her into the family."
Selling it even further, Bird beamed with a laugh, "And I've always wanted a sister."
With that she turned and wrapped an unsuspecting Lee in a tight hug. She managed to smile and return the embrace right as the camera boy snapped a few shots of them.
It was just moments after the hug was broken that the reporter realized there either wasn't a deeper story to dig out or that Bird wasn't going to be provoked and she wandered off in search of more guests to interview.
Bird looked down to see Lee opening and closing her fists at her sides before wringing her hands in front.
"You alright?" Bird asked.
"I just..." Lee stammered, "Thank you."
"You're marrying a Falcone." Bird pointed out, "Even if he doesn't use the name, still. You're going to be in the spotlight."
"Bit of a advice? Girl to girl?" Bird cocked her head to the side, "Never let them see you break down."
Lee nodded, she knew Bird was right.
She wasn't entirely sure why she was still being nice to her now that they were alone, but in truth she was grateful for the save.
She'd expected any news coverage to be the celebration, the high profile guests in attendance. She didn't expect to have the most painful time in her loss tossed about so casually.
"Have a drink. Plaster a smile on and if anyone else with a notepad and camera approaches you, just keep gushing about the wedding. What designer make your dress, shoes... stuff like that." Bird offered up another piece of advice before walking away.
Lee pulled in a deep breath, straightened her posture and turned to head for the bar. Planning to follow the advice she'd been given, only she didn't have to fake a smile when she saw Captain Barnes.
"Captain!" She greeted, "I'm so glad you came."
Barnes had been watching in the direction that Bird had left in. He was never a fan of her to begin with but that night just the sight of her was getting under his skin.
He could only think of one word when he'd spotted Bird at the party; guilty.
He hadn't been close enough to hear the conversation between Lee and Bird, but he'd seen how Lee looked nearly distraught when she'd started to turn around.
"Don't let her ruin your night." He offered up.
"Who?" Lee's forehead lined, "Bird? No, she's-"
"A psychopath." Barnes filled in.
He shook his head.
She was all smiles and charm when she needed to be. The danger you'd never see coming. Like a serpent lying in wait.
Lee's expression twisted up further, "She has her moments..."
"Forget her." Barnes instructed, "This is your party...you deserve to be happy."
"Thank you." Lee gratefully stepped closer to someone she'd always felt was a comforting presence, "You have to stay for at least one drink. I insist."
"One drink." He agreed.
Weeks ago, at the scene where Alice Tetch had died, he'd been infected with her blood. The virus was coursing through his veins.
It had caused a windfall of mixed emotions. At first it was mostly hopeless, then the study being done on the virus had seemed to wield some promising results -and he'd became strong enough he no longer needed his cane to walk.
Then the study progressed and the results were startling. The mice that had been infected starting attacking and killing one another and he'd felt a change within himself. A violent change.
GCPD was currently hunting for the killer of Paulie Pennies. The man whose body had literally been ripped apart at one of the most gruesome crime scenes they'd ever seen.
Little did the cops working under him know, but the man they were hunting for was their captain.
Barnes didn't know how long he had left, but he knew he had to do something before the virus completely took over.
Work had been his life and had left him with no time for a family; which is why in his will he bequeathed all of his assets to the police academy.
And that very night before leaving the station, he'd left his badge and gun on his desk.
One last night, he'd told himself, in the morning he'd turn himself in.
Guilty
The word continued to bounce around in his head as he spotted Bird across the room again.
"One drink." Lee repeated.
Shaking his head he smiled, "Just one... but no work talk."
"Deal." Lee agreed.
•••
For the next hour, Bird did her best to avoid the press at the party and appear as if she was having a good time.
She did her best to ward off anyone there who would bring her mood down; including Falcone.
Though she did witness an interesting exchange between her biological father and the GCPD captain by the bar.
She'd had several encounters with Captain Barnes since he'd come to Gotham, but even in the ones where they'd nearly faced off, he'd been nothing but professional.
Don Falcone had been all politeness and charm; Barnes had been rude in response.
His behavior seemed off to her, but it was a passing thought once Ivy caught back with up her and distracted her once again.
"I was thinking we should get matching jewelry." Ivy voiced her thoughts.
"What?" Bird's face scrunched, "Why?"
"You know." Ivy laughed and nudged her arm, "Since we're such good friends now."
"Right..." Bird's eyebrows raised.
Ivy continued to ramble on about her idea. Wanting to know if Bird would rather have best friend necklaces or bracelets.
But she didn't get an answer, Bird was too focused on the doorway to the ballroom where the party was being held.
She'd seen Lee go out into the hallway and then a few moments later Mario left too with an unhappy expression on his face.
Curious as to what was going on, she followed them.
Leaving Ivy to trail behind her, upset that yet again, her new friend took off without warning.
"Good evening, everyone." Mario greeted as he came to see why Jim, Bullock and several uniformed officers were gathered in the hallway just outside of his engagement party.
"Evening... and congratulations." Bullock bellowed, his voice echoed throughout the hallway as he looked between Mario and Lee, "To both of you."
"What's going on?" Mario asked.
"Hey..." Bird's brows lowered as she joined the growing group.
"Hey." Jim greeted her back with the only word he got out before his eyes fell to the evening gown she was wearing. He'd been at work most of the day and hadn't seen her since they'd gotten up and went separate ways that morning.
Bird's glossed lips turned up at the corners when Jim seemed to be rendered speechless.
"What's going on?" Mario repeated this time with noticeable impatience both in his voice and on his face.
Lee, who'd noticed the disruption and uninvited guests before anyone else announced what she'd learned just before her fiance got there, "Apparently there is a murder suspect among our guests."
Bird's eyes cast down, she stifled a laugh. At least half to the people in the room behind them had ties to crime.
"We tried to get him at home." Jim explained, "But his house keeper said he was here."
He'd expected understanding from the trio in front of him, but instead he was met by three expressions of near disbelief.
"And this couldn't wait until after the party?" Bird questioned.
"I agree." Lee stated, "If he's here then he's not exactly running."
"Uh-oh." Bullock reached up and adjusted his hat, "Better hit the deck Jim."
In his experience a current girlfriend in cahoots with ones ex was never a good thing.
Mario shot Bullock a look that the detective missed, when Bullock agreed, "They do have a point though. You wanna take this one partner?"
"Can I ask who the suspect is?" Mario spoke up.
"Dr. Maxwell Symon, he's-" Jim began.
"A plastic surgeon." Mario strained through a tense smile.
Everything about Jim Gordon that night seemed more irritating than usual.
Just being in his presence left a feeling of sandpaper on his skin.
"Why didn't you tell me that Dr. Symon was the one you'd arrested for this?" Bird stepped closer to Jim.
"I did." Jim argued, "We had a witness but she refused to testify so they him go."
He opened his mouth to announce that this was important, they had a warrant and they needed to make the arrest, but Bird didn't give him a chance.
"You didn't tell me that." Bird stuck to her side of it, "I know him. I'd have remembered if you'd told me that."
"I did tell you." Jim repeated.
"She probably wasn't listening." Ivy spoke up; side-eyeing Bird as she added, "She does that a lot."
"Who are you?" Bullock questioned.
"Bird's friend." Ivy announced, crossing her arms over her chest and asserting, "Her best friend."
Why did everyone keep seeming so surprised by that?
It was offensive, Ivy thought, was it really that unbelievable that Bird would want to be friends with her?
Jim stared at Ivy for a second, knowing Bird had only ever made that claim about one person in her life and asked, "I thought Oswald was your best friend."
"This isn't the third grade, Jim. I can have more than one friend."
The comeback was quick and Bird beamed a wide smile.
"It feels so good to just say what comes to mind." She chuckled to herself. Reaching out she put a hand on Jim's arm and shook her head, "There's some reporters are the party. You need to wait until after this for the arrest."
"Plus." Mario chimed in, "You try and arrest him... and you'll have to fight off nearly every woman here. He's a favorite."
"He's also a murderer." Jim paused. His eyes going between Bird and Mario, neither of them seemed very surprised or alarmed by the news.
But the look Mario was giving him was far beyond the scope of someone being mildly inconvenienced.
It was something edging on hate.
Before he could stop himself, Jim pushed, "I'd be curious to know how your father knows him."
"I'm sure that their relationship is completely above board." Mario's answer was hastened. Tone sharp.
"But he's your father too, right?" Ivy loudly whispered in Bird's direction.
"He sure is." Bird nodded. Her gaze unwavering from Jim as he shifted his stance and tried to think of a way to backtrack.
"Well, while you all hash this out, I'm going to go grab Symon." Bullock blew out a breath and started past the group.
He'd had his share of family drama for the night.
"Harvey-" Jim protested.
"I can handle a plastic surgeon on my own." He interrupted, looking between the engaged couple he added for peace of mind, "And don't worry; discretion is my middle name."
"He'll get side tracked anyways when he spots the open bar." Bird quipped.
"I heard that!" Bullock yelled over his shoulder but didn't slow his pace to get away from them.
•••
"What the hell was that about?" Bird rushed to Jim and pushed his hand away from his cheek to inspect the already forming bruise.
"I'm fine." He assured her, but he seemed just as stunned as she was.
"What did he hit you for?" Bird's entire face twisted up.
"The Tetch thing." Jim said though he was still struggling to wrap his mind around how a simple request from Mario Calvi to speak alone escalated so quickly to physical violence, "Lee was in danger, she could have died and it seems he's holding a grudge."
Bird had waited several minutes on Jim to return after stepping into another room when Mario asked to have a few words with him.
When neither of them had returned she'd invited herself along just in time to witness her half-brother punching Jim.
She looked over her shoulder to door Mario had left open on his way out of the room, then looked at Jim and questioned, "Why didn't you hit him back?"
The skin on his cheek was stinging; hot to the touch, the impact had left a residual ache along his jaw.
He let out a small laugh despite the increase in pain it caused him, he couldn't hold it back.
Only Bird would have jumped straight into that question.
"I'll let him have that one." Jim let out a sigh, "He's not wrong. She could have died that day, because of me."
"Because of Tetch." She corrected.
"Yeah." He scoffed, eyes going up towards the ceiling before his gaze fell to the floor.
Logically that was the truth.
Jervis Tetch had abducted and threatened Lee's life, but that didn't ease the guilt he felt for both she and Bird winding up in that situation.
It was his fault and nothing would convince him otherwise.
Bird's glossed lips straightened into a tense line.
She knew how he was feeling.
Harvey Dent's life had been put in danger more than once -solely because of his ties to her.
And she still lived with the fear that someone would hurt him to get to her.
It was a terrible thing to know that in loving someone you were cursing them.
"What happened wasn't your fault." Her voice lowered, tone softened.
It was pointless. The sentiment was falling on deaf ears and she knew that.
Still, she couldn't stop from saying it and hoping somehow her words would get through to him.
"It's not that simple, Bird." He looked back up at her face, "I sat there and told Tetch to kill Lee, remember?"
Of course she remembered, when faced with the choice Jim had picked her to live. With a gun to both of their heads it would have been her loss he couldn't bear.
She'd been someones first choice; no chance in her forgetting that.
"Technically..." A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth, "You told Tetch to kill me."
"Bird-" His tone was heavy; the look on his face showed he wasn't in the mood for her making light of things.
It was far too soon for the events of that day to become the butt of a joke.
"Sorry-" She started to apologize but stopped.
His brows lowered.
"I'm not sorry." Bird admitted with a smile spreading across her lips. Reaching out she grabbed his tie and pulled him closer, her lips brushing against his as she complained, "My sense of humor is wasted on you."
With that she pressed a quick kiss to his awaiting mouth and pulled back much too soon for his liking.
Giving another smile, she patted his chest and then turned to leave the room.
He reached after her, but she moved too fast. Slipping through his fingers.
"Hey." Bullock called out as he spotted Bird in the hallway, he was just about to ask her where Jim had disappeared to but then he also emerged from the room behind her.
"Oh..." Bullock let out a snort into the hall full glass of alcohol mid-drink.
At first thinking they'd snuck off for a bit of alone time together -but then he noticed a bruise forming on Jim's face, like he'd been hit.
He started to ask that the hell they were doing, but didn't get the change when Jim questioned, "Where's Symon?"
"Don't know. He must have skidaddled." Bullock shrugged, then when he saw Jim eyeing the glass of amber liquid in his hand he explained, "Thought he might be at the bar."
Bird laughed, she'd called it. She knew the second Bullock caught sigh of the open bar at the celebration he'd wind up there.
Her line of sight went past the detective to the main room, to where Mario was standing with Lee on his arm, smiling and talking to the party-goers -as if he hadn't just hit someone in the face.
Her eyes narrowed.
Everyone who'd crossed paths with Mario Calvi couldn't find a bad word to say about him. Praises were sang far and wide.
Then her sight was blocked from her half-brother when Captain Barnes came into view and seemed to be heading their way.
Suddenly, she wanted to be there even less now than earlier.
"I'm going to get some air." She announced, avoiding Jim's eyes and questions as she made a beeline for the nearest stairs.
She took the three flights of stairs in a rush, nearly slamming into the exit door at the bottom leading out to the street. Her shoulder twinged with an ache as she'd misjudged how heavy the door would be and pushed her side against the metal surface to break free.
Air.
It was a little too chilly for the strapless dress she was in and car exhaust fumes were heavy, but it was air all the same. Much fresher than it had felt in the building.
Her head tilted back, face angled up towards the mostly starless sky.
She stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the solitude.
The streets around the popular party destination were surprisingly quiet, though she could still hear the piano music faintly from inside; like someone had left a window open.
The very last thing she wanted to do was go back inside; back to a party she'd never wanted to attend in the first place with people she didn't much care for.
The night had been exhausting and it wasn't until she got a break from plastering on a smile for the cameras that she felt the dull ache in her jaws.
Being in the public eye came with the territory; being a Falcone, being a Wayne -but that didn't make it any less taxing.
When she heard the door open behind her, she didn't open her eyes, didn't budge from where she was standing.
"What are you doing?" Jim questioned as he found Bird standing on the sidewalk appearing to be staring up at the sky, until he noticed her eyes were shut.
"Breathing." She answered, holding her arms out to the sides when a gust of wind blew through the street.
Jim watched her with a puzzled expression.
She looked like either about to take flight or waiting for the wind to whisk her away.
A couple passed them by, walking arm and arm, both of them repeatedly looking over their shoulders at Bird until they turned the corner.
He chuckled under his breath, they'd clearly been just as confused by what Bird was doing as he currently was; but he also didn't care.
She often had that affect on him.
"You ready to get out of here?" He asked.
"What about catching your bad guy?" Bird's arms dropped to her sides and she finally looked at him.
"They're setting up a perimeter around the building and keeping eyes on his house. He won't get far." Jim sounded confident, "Plus, it's been a long day."
"Uh-oh." Bird feigned, "You see what's happening don't you?"
He didn't answer, but his blue eyes narrowed ever so slightly not knowing how to respond.
"We're becoming that couple." She finished.
"That couple?" He repeated.
"Yeah!" She nudged him arm and pointed out, "There's a party happening less than a hundred feet away from us and instead we're just going to go home, order take-out and spend the next few hours on the couch watching crappy late night TV."
"Would you rather go back to party?"
"God, no!" She exclaimed, "I'd much rather have a boring night at home with you."
A smile slowly crept over his lips and he blinked at her, "You say that like it's a compliment, but worded it like an insult."
"Plus-" He continued, "We have to grab those mundane moments when we get that chance. Almost every day is chaos in our lives."
"True." She agreed and started to lean in to kiss him but they were both startled from the moment by a scream.
"That sounded close..." Bird breathed.
"It was." Jim agreed, locking eyes with her once more before they both took off in the direction the sound had echoed from.
It didn't take long for them to find who'd screamed, it was the woman from the couple who'd passed them by on the sidewalk just minutes before.
"GCPD!" Jim yelled, his pace quickening.
The man who was trying to comfort his distraught date pointed with his free arm towards a car; more so the bent and broken body of a dying man laying on the top of the car.
"Sir?" Jim called, rushing to check on the state of the gravely injured man.
"You were right." Bird stepped up beside Jim, "He didn't get far at all."
Jim shot her an unamused look as they stood next to where Dr. Maxwell Symon was struggling to breath with his shattered body sprawled across the dented car and busted windshield.
"Dr. Symon?" Jim stepped closer. Placing two fingers on the side of his neck to feel how steady the injured man's pulse was. His heartbeat was faint; his breathing rattled of impending death.
Jim started to tell Bird to call for help, but she was already on the phone.
"Who did this?" Jim knew the surgeon wasn't going to make it.
He was knocking on death's door.
Dr. Symon moved his mouth, trying to speak but nothing was coming out.
Jim leaned in closer, just in time to hear him hoarsely stutter, "Barnes..."
The expression on his face twisted. He had to heard him wrong.
Jim looked over to see if Bird had heard the same answer, but she was staring up to where there was a large opening in the wall of the building.
Dr. Symon hadn't fell or even jumped to his death.
Someone had thrown him through a wall with enough force to bust the bricks and mortar.
The last time she'd seen anything like that had been when Galavan had been resurrected as Azrael; but the gardener at Wayne Manor was still finding the occasional bits of him while tending the grounds there.
She, Oswald and Butch had made sure Theo Galavan had been blown into enough pieces that no one could ever put him back together.
"What?" Jim leaned in even closer to the dying man, "Who -who did this?"
He repeated, knowing there was no way he'd heard that right.
But Dr. Symon was too far gone.
His eyes were glassy, body twitching and the only sounds he was able to emit were fits and gasps for air
And then he was gone.
Dead -right as she scene was flooded with GCPD and emergency responders.
Jim pulled Bird onto the sidewalk across the street from where the corpse of Dr. Symon was still sprawled on-top of the crushed car.
"Did you hear-" He started to ask if she'd heard what Symon said before he'd died, but Bird spoke at the same time, "So much for a quiet night at home, huh?"
Jim's forehead lined.
"You do realize someone was just murdered?" The words came out before he could stop himself, "There's a dead body right across the street."
"And wasn't it just minutes ago that you were saying what a bad guy Symon was? How he was a murderer?" Bird didn't miss a step, "Someone kind of just did your job for you..."
Her voice trailed off. Clearly this was one of those times where they weren't going to see eye-to-eye.
Not at all. Not even a little bit.
Biting down on the side of his tongue he came to the same conclusion; they were looking at the situation from two completely different points of view.
"I don't want to fight." Jim stated.
It was the truth, plus now he was in for an even longer night with work.
"I don't either." Bird agreed.
"Look..." He breathed, "You might as well just go on home. I'm going to be here for a while."
"I've got to make sure Ivy's okay and then I'll go-"
"Ivy?" He interrupted.
"Yes." Bird said, "Ivy Pepper. I brought her here so I'm going to make sure she makes it out alive."
"Wait..." Was all he could manage to say, his mind racing.
The tall redhead in the hallway, who's childish way of speaking and moving seemed so odd.
"That-" He pointed towards the building, "That was Ivy Pepper." Moving his hand to about a child's height off the ground he repeated, "Ivy?"
There was nothing shy of a hundred questions on his mind now.
How did she suddenly age up about ten years? Why was Bird suddenly so concerned about her?
Why hadn't she told him they'd found the missing girl sooner?
"Jim!" Bullock yelled from across the street where he was just finishing up with a witness statement from the couple who'd first discovered the gruesome scene, "Am I on my own tonight or what?"
After waving a hand in acknowledgement towards his partner, Jim said to Bird, "We'll talk later?"
"Talk later." She agreed, just before she leaned in and pecked a quick kiss to lips. So fast it was over before he could even being to protest and point out he was on the job.
•••
Hearing the bathroom door open, Jim looked up to see Bird walking out. Now dressed for bed; her make-up had been washed away and her hair piled up in a messy bun atop her head.
He felt a smile start to form on his face as he silently watched her drop the necklace and earrings she'd wore to the party that night on the top of the dresser and pick up her phone to check it for any missed connections.
Funny, he thought, that the one person capable of getting under skin worse than anyone he'd ever met could also be such a source of calm in his life.
Jim continued to watch her move around the bedroom and get things ready for the next day; she wasn't a fan of early mornings, so Bird would try and get as much done as she could the night before so she could hit the snooze button a few times before getting up.
She disappeared into the closet for a few minutes, presumably to decide on an outfit for work the next day seemingly unaware of his eyes on her.
This; he thought, he never wanted to give this up, the life he'd settled into with her.
"Hey." He called out to her, "You want to tell me why there's a wedding dress hanging in the closet?"
A few seconds passed in silence before the top half of Bird's body popped out of the open closet doorway.
"It's mine." Bird then corrected, "Or, it was... it used to be mine."
When he didn't say anything she scrambled to explain that with Mario's wedding coming up, she'd been getting fitted for various gowns and the boutique she'd been going to was the same one she'd gotten her dress through when she'd planned to marry Harvey Dent.
"It was already paid for and every time I went back for another fitting or pick something up, the owner kept reminding me it was there." She shrugged and disappeared out of view again, "When I was there with Ivy earlier this week, I decided to bring it here for now."
Jim glanced around their bedroom.
Bird had already explained what had happened with Ivy to him earlier when he'd first gotten home. How she'd been aged up by one of Strange's creations the night Fish had given orders to kill her.
One thing she'd left out was that Ivy had been there in the house.
He felt like since he'd returned to work that he had even less of an idea of what was going on with Bird.
Being a detective meant he was pretty much always on call; usually by the time he made it home Bird was there and a part of him had just assumed she'd probably been there since she had gotten out of work herself.
Of course, that more than likely wasn't the case -but she rarely offered up details of her days to anyone.
Then it struck him how he hadn't even known about Ivy; or Bird's new found friendship with her, let alone that she'd brought her to their house.
Which started to beg the question of who else she had over.
More than likely Oswald, he'd figured that, but with the way Nygma followed him everywhere now, Jim was left wondering if he'd been there in their house too.
For all he knew the place could be a revolving door for the various criminals she associated with.
He had to start being more involved at home, he thought to himself, he'd jumped head first into his job again and it hadn't left much time for anything else.
"I'm getting rid of it." Bird promised as she walked out into the room and shut the closet doors behind her, "I'm just not exactly sure how yet."
Bird stepped up to the foot of the bed and watched him, wondering when and why he'd started looking through the garment bags in their closet.
"What?"
Jim's eyebrows rose in question as he spoke. Wondering why she was staring at him. She had an expression on her face like she were waiting for him to confess to something.
Misunderstanding and thinking she must have been waiting for him to say she didn't have to get rid of the dress or that it didn't bother him, he offered with a sleepy smile, "You don't have to get rid of it."
The words he thought she wanted to hear seemed to have the opposite effect; her face scrunched up, "Why would I keep it? I don't have any use for it."
Rather than taking it as the logical statement Bird had meant it for, Jim's forehead lined thinking she was hinting at something.
It felt like a trap, like no matter what he said next wasn't going to be what she wanted to hear, so instead he asked, "Are you saying you don't want to get married?"
Bird's head cocked to the side. All she'd originally wanted to know was why he'd opened the garment bag containing the dress.
Crossed wires and exhaustion had them both feeling more confused than ever.
"What is it with everyone and weddings lately?" Bird mumbled to herself as she left her stance and went to sit down on her side of the bed.
It was like the upcoming wedding seemed to be putting marriage on everyone's minds.
Falcone had made it clear to her not all that long ago that when she walked down the isle, it was going to be a big to-do just like Mario's wedding; despite Bird insisting she didn't want that.
Then the boutique owner kept insisting Bird take the dress home; it had been at the shop for well over a year now, but still.
When Bird argued that she didn't need the dress now as that particular wedding was never going to happen, Ivy had bluntly asked her why she didn't just wear the dress to marry Jim.
Bird shot that down for a variety of reasons, beginning with the fact that they'd never even discussed marriage and ending with how she was pretty sure it would be bad luck to use a dress she'd planned on wearing for someone else.
Jim, who originally had felt like he was being forced into a talk about their future was now feeling even more uncomfortable from the heavy silence in the room.
"Are you saying that?" He pushed.
"Does it matter?" She asked as she sat down and turned some to face him.
"I think it does." Jim answered.
It hadn't mattered until suddenly it did.
He wasn't in a rush to get married, but it was just minutes before when she'd walked by that he'd thought to himself how much he loved coming home to her and then at the first mention of commitment, Bird looked like she could have leapt from her own skin.
"Why do I have to answer that tonight?" She laughed but it sounded desperate, "I'm being forced to participate in my half-brother's wedding and I'm not even sure I like the guy... you're in the middle of a homicide case-"
"You're deflecting." Jim interrupted her rambling.
Apparently she could come up with a million excuses as to why they shouldn't talk about this right now but was unable to tell him what was actually on her mind.
"Look, I didn't bring the dress here to make you think I want you to propose or something." Bird pointed out. Then jumped back to the only thing she'd wanted him to explain all along, "Why were you going through my clothes anyways?"
"I wasn't." His voice raised, immediately defensive, "I came home one day and there was this huge bag hung up in there-" He motioned towards the closet, "What was I supposed to do?"
"Are you asking me to marry you?" Bird asked.
"Right now?" Jim answered, "No."
"Then why are we even talking about this?" She sighed.
He didn't answer right away. To begin with he wasn't even sure how they'd ended up in this seemingly pointless fight.
But now he felt like if she didn't give him some kind of answer he wasn't going to be able to sleep.
Were they really on such drastically different pages about what they wanted?
It wouldn't be first time and most likely not the last either, but this was different.
This was about their lives; the one they were sharing and building together and now he wasn't sure where they stood.
"It's not a big deal." Bird tried to wave a white flag of sorts. Give them both an out.
They were exhausted and she was ready to call it a night.
"If it's not a big deal then why won't you answer me?" Jim's voice quieted.
"I just..." She shook her head.
It felt like someone had stitched her lips closed and none of what she wanted to say -what she should say, would come out.
It wasn't that after one failed engagement she was set against ever getting married, but a part of her was still messed up from it.
From putting so much time, money and energy into something that was supposed to be the best day of her life only to never get there.
The pressure of feeling like everything had be perfect.
She didn't want that part of it.
In her mind it was simple. She wanted Jim, wanted a life with him.
If they were going to make that big of a commitment to each other than she didn't need it splashed across the papers or for it be labeled the event of the year.
And in that moment she'd have given anything to just say that.
Just open her mouth and have the words fall out in a neat single file line.
Each one as perfect and honest as the next.
But it didn't.
"I just think this works, you know?" She asked motioning between them, "...and I don't understand why we have to get married to prove that."
"If it's not broke, don't fix it?" Jim repeated back a dumbed-down version of what he thought she was trying to say.
"No, that's not-" She shook her head, "You don't get what I'm trying to say."
She rubbed her hands over her face.
"It's not a big deal." He repeated back what she'd said earlier.
The same lame attempt she'd tossed out at ending a conversation that just seemed to sour with every new word.
"I love you!" Bird exclaimed, throwing her hands down on the mattress with a thud as she spoke.
A child throwing a tantrum; hurting themselves when things don't go their way.
"Yeah." Jim cleared his throat, adjusted how he was sitting on the bed, scooting over to lay down, "I love you too."
"Jim..." His name came out as an apology and a protest all at once.
"I got a few hours to get some sleep before I'm due back at work, okay?"
He leaned over and kissed her, turned the lamp next to his side of the bed off and laid down.
Conversation over,
Following suit, she turned her lamp off, further darkening room and slowly slid down until her head found the pillows.
It was a struggle, fighting against the urge to keep trying and explain what she meant. At this point it would only makes things worse.
Wires had been crossed. Intentions misunderstood. Feelings hurt.
-And now fear had started to set in.
A familiar sickening feeling took over, as Bird turned onto her side and looked at the back of Jim's head.
Here she was once again, hurting the people who meant the most to her -and sharing a bed with someone she couldn't feel more distant from.
•••