I stand outside the entrance, the long stairwell even more intimidating from this angle. The cool air blows my hair out of my face, the breeze a stark reminder that this is reality. I suck in a deep breath. I don't know what to think or what to feel. I knew it was a possibility. I knew it could happen. I was prepared for it to happen. But now that it's actually happening, I realise I wasn't prepared at all. I don't even think I had fully acknowledged it as a possibility. It still felt out of reach.
This is what my parents wanted for me. This is what I used to fantasize about. This is what everyone hopes for.
And yet, I'm hesitant. I have so many questions. How did he decide to choose me without even speaking with me? Why didn't he speak with me? When did he choose me? Why didn't he choose one of the other girls?
And now what? I'm supposed to meet him at his house tonight. Am I going to be living there now? What are they going to expect from me? Can I still reject him? He could be a total prick for all I know. I don't even know if we have anything in common, or if this is just going to be a boring repeat of my last courtship. He doesn't even know me. How can he know if he likes me? I know that's part of the point — that we'll be getting to know each other over the coming months. But he has the option to choose. Why choose me over the other girls when he doesn't even know me? He probably knows me the least out of all the girls. Am I just his last option?
"Bianca?" a deep voice sounds from behind me. Valentino steps outside, joining me at the top of the stairs. He's never been this close to me. We're just a few feet apart. I can smell him, or at least, his cologne. It's woody and earthy, with a hint of citrus. He smells exactly how you'd expect — clean and masculine. He can probably smell my perfume, too. I hope he likes it. "Is something wrong?"
"No," I shake my head. "I'm just unsure."
"What's concerning you?" he walks over until he's right by my side. I turn to face him.
"This," I motion between us. His eyes stay glued on mine. I refuse to look away. He searches my face, and I'm sure it tells him everything he needs to know.
"How so?"
"You haven't spoken to me all night."
"Is that an issue?"
"I just assumed you'd want to speak with everyone before you made your decision — give them some kind of indication of what would happen."
"Were you not expecting it?"
"Not at all."
He doesn't respond. He turns away from me, eyeing the view before him. It's nothing special, just a parking lot. It's mostly filled with black SUVs — the standard mode of transportation for anyone of importance in this family.
"You are welcome to reject the offer," he says. "But I would appreciate it if you gave it a chance."
Of course, I will. I'm not stupid. Who wouldn't want to court the boss? It's one step closer to royalty. I'm lucky to even have the opportunity.
"I will," I tell him. He takes a step forward, extending his elbow out to me.
"Shall I escort you to the estate?"
"Right now?"
"If you're willing, yes."
I hesitate for a moment, but I know my decision has already been made. I link my elbow through his. It feels strange. I shouldn't be this close to him. I shouldn't be touching him. He's our padrone. He's always been off-limits. But he's not anymore. Standing next to him feels powerful. It feels safe. And not just because he's the boss. He stands tall and strong. He walks with an air of confidence and authority. He's warm, too.
He leads me down the staircase slowly, well aware of the danger my heels pose. He holds me tightly, making sure to keep me steady. I can feel his muscles through his jacket. It's a nice feeling. I like being this close to him. It doesn't feel too bad at all. He doesn't even complain about how long it takes.
By the time we reach the bottom, a limousine is waiting for us. His driver already holds the door open for us. Valentino takes my hand, helping me step into the car. He shuts the door behind me and joins me on the other side.
I glance over at him. He's staring ahead, looking as neutral as ever.
******
I've seen this structure a million times before, but only been I side it a handful of times. I've never seen it this quiet. There are still people around, but far fewer than usual. Everyone's at the gala, trying to figure out who the next Regina will be. I guess the ones that stayed behind will be the first to find out.
The monastery is centuries old, repurposed as a home for those in the innermost circles of the family; the ones that make the most important decisions to keep us safe and the money flowing. Valentino lives here, and so does Francisco. I'm sure Catarina will too once she turns 25. The rest of the rooms are occupied by their closest advisors. Valentino and I would be living here until we're married. Even then, we'd still be here on the compound, but not in the monastery.
The building has no proper front door. Instead, we walk through a large archway, entering the open-air foyer. This space itself is the size of a castle. It's a replica of an ancient Roman bath house, with a large pool of water, and stone columns surrounding it. The water is still and light blue, with the Sainte family logo designed into the tiles at the bottom of the pool. I don't think anyone is allowed to swim in this water. Its purpose is not entertainment or fitness. it's more a water feature than anything else. They've built a bridge right over the middle of the pool. Valentino leads me over it, but I walk slowly, taking in the night sky as we head to the other side. It's not a big deal to him. He would see this place every day.
There are multiple archways on this side of the pool, each leading to the rest of the house — safe and undercover. I expect Valentino to take me to one of the communal areas, but he doesn't. Instead, he leads me towards the staircase. It's almost the same size as the one at the event space. It starts here, in the undercover area, and goes along the entire side of the building, straight to the top floor. No one's allowed up there. There are no communal spaces there, only private suites. I hesitate before I follow Valentino up there. I didn't expect to be seeing his suite so soon, but it makes sense. It's probably the only place he can get any privacy. I push my worries to the side, and follow him up. I walk slowly, not watching to lose my breath halfway up. Valentino matches my pace, taking our time to reach the top. He continues to walk beside me down the hallway until we reach a set of double doors. Valentino opens then, motioning for me to step inside. I can't believe I'm about to step into the boss' apartment, but I do it anyway.
And then it hits me. The boss' apartment. I'm in the boss' apartment. The place he sleeps and eats. Valentino Sainte. He wants to marry me. Me! Oh my god. A big smile pulls at my cheeks. I feel giddy all of a sudden, my anxiety is long gone. My padrone wants me to be his wife. This is not a bad thing. It's far from it. I can't believe I thought it was. This is the best thing. This is a fantasy. My parents must be through the roof. I can barely wipe the grin off my face before I turn back towards him but I manage to cover it enough while he shuts the door.
"This is nice," I say. It's not too big, not too small. There's a couch and a table in this room, along with a kitchenette. The bedroom is separated by an archway. I peek through it, spotting the neatly made bed in the centre of the room. It's king-sized. There's another set of doors on the far wall, leading out to a balcony. There aren't any decorations here, but I wouldn't expect there to be. There's a TV across from the bed, but that's all.
"You'll be staying here with me."
"Oh," I follow him into the bedroom. He pauses in his step, sensing my hesitation.
"Is that not acceptable?"
"No, that's fine," I tell him. "I just didn't realise I'd be spending the night."
"Would you prefer to return home?"
"No, it's okay. I'd just need some things."
"What things?"
"Clothes, towels, underwear..."
"I'll organise that for you," he opens the balcony doors.
"So do I stay here from now on?"
"If you don't mind, yes."
"I don't mind," I say. "I'll just need to get my things."
"We'll arrange that for tomorrow," he turns my way. "Take a seat. I'll fix you a drink."
He brushes past me, heading back to the kitchenette. I follow his orders and step out onto the balcony. There's a nice view from here. It's already dark out, but there are enough lights on for me to see almost the entire estate. I sit down at the table. The sky looks clear tonight, too. It's filled with a thousand stars. The moon is shining almost as brightly as the sun.
Valentino returns with a bottle in his hand. He sets two glasses down on the table, pouring a small amount into each.
"Is this pinot?" I ask. It's too dark to see the colour properly.
"Merlot," he tells me.
"Excellent," I bring the glass up to my lips, taking a small sip. I was too nervous to drink anything stronger than water before, but I'm far from nervous right now. I'm excited.
"Did you have a good night?" Valentino takes a seat across from me.
"I did," I smile. "It was a bit nerve-wracking. I felt on edge all night."
"There's no need for that. I hope it's at least eased off now."
"It has," I nod. "How was your night?"
"I can't say it was much better."
"I can imagine," I snicker. He must be under a lot of pressure. He covers it up very well.
"But we're here now."
That we are.
"I must say, I'm surprised. I thought you would choose Gianna."
"Gianna Ricci?"
"Yeah."
"No," he shakes his head but doesn't elaborate any further.
"So why me then? Because of my family?"
"No," he scowls. "Your family has nothing to do with it."
That's not true. He wouldn't even know who I was if it wasn't for my family.
"What is it then?" I push.
"I chose you because I like you," he states.
"Over all the others?"
"Yes," he nods. "I've heard what you do for the family and I think it shows the exact qualities I'd want in a Regina."
I don't do any more than anyone else. I teach at the family's education program and mentor young girls outside of that. It's nothing special. It's minor compared to what Gianna does.
"What qualities are they?" I ask.
"Kindness, compassion, initiative, dedication, loyalty..." he trails off. "How do you feel about it?"
"Still confused," I say. "It'll take some time to process. I hope you're okay with that."
"Of course."
"I am willing to try, though. I'm flattered you choose me."
"I'm glad to hear that. I don't think it was a particularly easy situation, but I think we can work on it."
"What exactly are your expectations with this?" I ask him. I'm just not sure what the next steps are. By the sounds of things he wants me to move in. I understand that. It makes it a lot quicker and easier to get to know someone.
"I'd like to proceed by courting you," he responds. I bite my lip, fighting the urge to smile. I have to keep my cool. "And then I hope we can arrange a wedding."
"What timeframe do you have in mind?"
"The sooner the better. But I believe it's best if we take our time. I would like you to be certain that this is what you want, so I'd like to move at your pace."
"I hope you know I have high standards," I warn him. A hint of amusement flashes in his eyes. "I won't just fall to your feet because you've chosen me. I believe a strong connection is needed for a sustainable relationship and those values override the fact that you're il Capo. I want a lasting relationship and I won't settle for anything less than romance."
"I'm happy to hear that," the corner of his lip turns ups. "I wouldn't expect anything less."
I can't fight it any longer. A happy grin pulls at my cheeks. I just can't play it cool. I bet he can see the excitement on my face. Why can I never keep my emotions to myself? I'm just so excited. How am I already feeling so good about this?