Surprise :)
An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind.
Ideally, Nandini Murthy was one of those people who treated her sleep like her best friend. She needed an adequate amount of sleep to actually function - or else she would be cranky and annoyed the next day. This particular night though - wasn't going to make it to her favorites' list. She kept tossing and turning for quite some time, thinking and rethinking things through.
For the question in the forefront of her mind had changed from was Manik guilty to if she thought he was guilty - of course that was if she believed he had given her his honest truth. And a huge part of her did believe him, but she also knew it wasn't enough. His truth and the actual truth wasn't aligning and it wasn't rocket science to see that, except for Manik himself. Nandini was beginning to see a clearer picture now - it was hazy in the middle but she could make out certain pieces of that bigger puzzle. The only game was to make Manik see that, because if her gut feeling was right, the key to unlocking this whole puzzle was Manik himself, he just didn't know it.
Exhausted physically and mentally, Nandini finally fell asleep in the dead hours of the night but woke up to voices outside her room. She turned to her side and reached for her phone - it was seven in the morning. She had been asleep for hardly three hours.
But Someone was yelling outside - a familiar feminine voice Nandini knew she recognized but could not place where. Rubbing her eyes and forcing herself to wake up, Nandini sat up on the bed, trying to make sense of whatever conversation that was happening outside the door.
“NO! You are lying to me”, she heard Manik's voice , but it was so anguished, it made her heart ache.
“I have no reason to lie to you Manik. In fact I should have told you all of this way before. I don't know why I thought you were over it", the other voice yelled back, and Nandini found herself moving closer to the door, still trying to recognize who it was and why it sounded familiar.
“But why would she do that -”, Manik's voice fell lower and Nandini was almost tempted to open the door and walk out when she heard the other voice answer.
“She wasn't lucid Manik, she was a patient like any other. You have to see her beyond being our mother. SHE WAS SICK. And that was the truth”, the answer hit Nandini in her gut as came the rampant awareness about the owner of the voice and how Nandini knew her.
Medha Malhotra Singhaniya, Manik Malhotra's elder sister was here.
And they were talking about their mother.
Nandini felt like she was eavesdropping on a conversation she didn't have any rights to pry on, but couldn't make herself move.
Nothing about this situation had left boundaries anyway - she needed to know everything she could and even if she kept telling herself it was about Aadya, a part of her knew it was also because she cared. She knew pretty well that his mother was an extremely sensitive topic for Manik and it would be a white lie if she said she wasn't concerned.
“No but why would she do that? Aadya was a baby -”, Manik's voice was shaking, Nandini could tell. She opened the door and walked out a few steps, standing by the foyer from where she could see them both standing near the coffee table. They were yet to notice her.
“Manik listen to yourself for God's sake. How does it matter to a schizophrenic if it's a baby or an adult? Out of two of us, you are the psychiatrist here!”, Medha answered back with just as much emphasis before slacking down, her shoulders falling, “You are too hard on yourself Manik. You don't want to believe what your mind knows, because then it takes the blame off yourself to the person you love the most - even if she isn't alive anymore", Medha softened as she held her brother by his shoulders, “It's okay to love her so much, but she isn't alive, you still are”.
Manik who was looking somewhere else all this while jerked up and locked his eyes with his sister. Medha nodded, one hand cupping his left cheek and another one squeezing his shoulder in a comforting gesture, “She was our mother, but she was also sick. She was your inspiration, but she also made mistakes. You were too young back when this mishap happened and too close to her all your life - you literally dedicated your entire life to her Manik. Do you think I don't know why you chose psychiatry knowing Dad was going to make an issue out of it? But our parents are just as human Manik, and more so, when she was dealing with this severe a mental illness", Medha sighed, and then spoke again, "But the truth is, and always was that she drowned Aadya, not you".
"But Dad said -”, Manik's eyes filled up as he looked at his sister with such heartbreak in his eyes, it broke Medha's heart into pieces. But Medha knew he had to know and more than that, he needed to accept it. Last night's phone call had scared her big time and she couldn't take a chance again - she couldn't loose her brother.
"That was all it was Manik, Dad's fabricated story. Is it that hard for you to believe Srikant Malhotra didn't want the world to know his wife was a psycho? That he wasn't there to save his daughter? It was easier to make it look like an accident than what it was, and like always he didn't care what else or who else suffered or how as long as it wasn't his reputation-”
Nandini walked back inside the room she was staying in and closed the door behind her. For a prolonged moment she just stood, her back to the door, her breaths heavy, the gears of her mind running as words and sentences from the past came rushing forward to remind her how much she knew and she had overlooked.
“Sometimes we think we are just committing mistakes, but they become sins instead. The consequences are usually regret and loneliness",
“She killed herself and my whole world collapsed. I haven't been able to rebuild it yet".
"That joy, and whatever me you find missing in me now, is because probably she took it with her",
“Manik is a man of Supreme talent and brains, but the only time he fails to use it is when his own emotions get tangled, and hence it's a chaos”
“Aadya Verma - reminded him of his sister. I don't know why and how, but he grew too attached to that girl for a patient”,
"Manik believes his father's version of the events, in fact everyone does - they keep rubbing it in his face”
Nandini walked to the washroom and splashed cold water on her face. How had she not linked this before? Manik's own words and Dr. Simran's words kept echoing inside her mind until she could see it clearly.
Manik's guilt wasn't just about Aadya Verma, his patient, it was also about Aadya, his sister. What she had sensed time and again - the reek of self loathing, the misplaced guilt, that loneliness she thought she recognized - it came from more than one place. His grief reaction, like he said, was about more than one thing.
And that's probably why it was so easy to build this mess around Manik. It probably was easy to manipulate his feelings about this situation based on how intricately the details were already weaved in his life.
Nandini looked up in the mirror, the shadow under her eyes speaking the tale of her sleepless night and exhausted mind. But if she was being really honest, she was feeling much better than how she was feeling last night. A burden she did not even know she was carrying had lifted off with this new found light she was seeing the situation in.
Did this mean Manik had no direct involvement in this case? Probably not. That would be going too far of herself.
The last few weeks have been heavy on her emotions, but that did not mean that Nandini had forgotten that Manik was deliberately playing with her before - he was trying to toy with her feelings to keep her away from the case and he had indirectly admitted to it too.
So for all the relief she felt with what her instincts were telling her to believe, she was also aware that the dangling sword of her doubts over Manik Malhotra's head hadn't magically vanished. Mostly she needed to know exactly why was he playing her if he wasn't at fault, but by now Nandini also knew another major truth about him - what he believed about this case wasn't always going to be the whole truth. His input, though was very necessary but his perspective of the situation was a clear conflict of interest.
Exhaling and then taking a deep breath, Nandini took a moment to herself before finally getting fresh and ready for the day. When she was done, she opened the door again and walked out, this time more confidently. She was here because he brought her here, and she wasn't going to feel out of place for it.
Her eyes fell on Medha who had also looked up from the couch she was sitting on - no Manik in sight. The two women stared at each other, and Nandini would have looked away first had Medha not stood up and walked to her herself.
“You can not die”, the first thing Medha spoke to Nandini was a very direct statement. Nandini's lips twitched in amusement as she nodded.
“Well I don't plan to”.
“I am not kidding Dr. Murthy. If something happens to you, I am going to loose my brother for good. Whatever this is between you two, however it started, it's been more than a game for a while. And with his history, he can't loose you”, Medha's voice was stern but demanding, but Nandini only chuckled before speaking.
“Well well well. So you admit that, A - he was playing games with me, and B - you knew about it. Is this like some family obsession?”, Nandini played cool, even though her heart was picking up speed. This could go a wrong way pretty easily.
But Medha did not seem to mind the taunt. Her lips curved up in a full smile, as Nandini noticed how pretty Medha Malhotra Singhaiya was up close. Brown eyes and the fine lines around her face made her look mature beyond her age.
“Don't think I didn't know you were playing him as well in the beginning”, Medha's words brought Nandini's attention back to the situation.
"and now?”, Nandini questioned, curious.
"And now, you are two fools in love. I am glad atleast you both have come to a conclusion within you, even if you haven't confessed it to the other one”, Medha rolled her eyes, her smile playful.
But Nandini turned serious, “Given you know so much, I hope You do know a lot is going to determine the future of our feelings”, she spoke in a calm voice, “Did Manik believe you about the incident with your sister, eventually?”
If Medha was surprised to hear that question, she didn't show. She just shrugged, "He had to. I had proof. I am almost a decade older to Manik. I had stolen a copy of the original Post Mortem reports and the death certificate back then, just as an instinct. They have documented Mom's fingers on Aadya's little body from the way she had gripped her. Could never actually trust father dearest”, Medha revealed surprising Nandini with how open and honest she was being, “he was three but I was thirteen. Somehow I knew one day I will tell him the truth. I just regret not doing it sooner. I never really knew it was festering inside him all this while, I thought he had moved on”.
Nandini heard her in silence before asking the one question that was bugging her, “I don't understand that why didn't you explain to Manik that what happened to Aadya Verma wasn't his fault? Or Atleast not in a way that he can be convicted for it. Why would you let him harbor that unnecessary guilt?”
A dark shadow passed Medha's face at the question, as if it pained her, but she composed herself pretty soon, “I wasn't a part of Manik's life for a few years. I wasn't in India at the first place. I didn't know the extent of the damage until few months after the court verdict”.
Nandini just nodded, clueless if she should trust that answer. Turning her head towards the kitchen, she gestured towards the coffee machine.
Medha shrugged, "By all means”.
“I will be out of your hair as soon as I have my coffee, I promise”, Nandini looked back at her shoulder while walking inside the kitchen but Medha followed her anyway, “I have been strictly asked to not let you leave until Manik returns”.
Nandini paused at that name and the mention, finally turning to look at Medha, "And where is Manik?”
“Not a clue”.
-------
The posh colony faded quickly behind him as Manik took fast steps towards that one house in particular. Brick steps lined the porch and he paused right outside the door to knock, then thought better about it and retrieved the key from the pot beside. Warm lights welcomed him inside, and he quickly walked through the foyer to the one room he knew he would find who he wanted in. His entire body was shaking from the rage he was holding back, the questions brimming inside his head giving him a headache. He needed answers, and he needed them right then.
He pushed open the door, but the person on the other side was hardly surprised.
“What the fuck did you make me do all this months?”, Manik asked directly, his hands fisted by his sides.
“Now, now Manik. Hi there. And to answer your question, I didn't make you do anything. You aren't a child”
Manik glared, trying to regulate his breathing and calm his anger down. He didn't want to say something he would regret for life. He had enough of those on his plate.
The woman in front of him closed the laptop and turned to face him with a smile, “About damn time”.