Do you remember when you said,
If I saw your trouble, I'd be scared,
Well, you're melting my heart,
'Cause you won't show me your cards yet.
–Lennon Stella
☆Theme Song: Pretty Boy by Lennon Stella☆
Third Person's POV
Thursdays sucked, this Xosha knew.
But what sucked more was that, she'd completely forgot to attend to yesterday's physics assignment. That caused her a lot of humiliation today. She walked through the hallway to get to her locker, asking herself why on Earth she'd forget to work on her homework of all things. Her birthday was fast approaching; it was the coming week. Maybe, the list of presents she hoped to get, distracted her.
Or was it the fact that she'd almost stayed up all night, texting her friends, and hoping someone in particular would appear online?
Whatever it was, she prayed it wouldn't repeat itself. She was grateful to the teacher who spared her today. Normally in Jean Davis, failure to complete an assignment, led to series of unfortunate and exaggerated punishments. Picture having to clean a whole bus because of failure to submit an assignment.
Above all, nothing worried her more than the look on Jeremiah's face today. He didn't speak to anyone today, not even Azure. He was dull, didn't answer questions thrown at him, didn't look at anyone. It was as if, he reset everything about him and went back to the old Jeremiah. Because of that, nothing else made sense to Xosha for the rest of the day. Especially when she spotted Adam Haynes behind her while taking some books out of her locker, obstructing her from heading towards the room where Jeremiah studied after school.
"Carters" He started, looking down on her.
This had to be satire, he hadn't spoken to her since last year, all in all, they haven't had a proper conversation. There was no reason for him to call her like that.
Amazed and irritated at the same time, she responded, "It's Xosha. Carters is my surname"
"Well, I don't give a flying fuck" He spat at her, with his dull eyes firmly focused on her.
She didn't understand. She thought they weren't talking to each other. She didn't have any intentions of being friends with him whatsoever. She didn't even want to put any differences aside. She liked it how they were on separate lanes.
"Look" she crossed her arms, trying not to feel inferior due to the scowl on his face, "Adam. We agreed not to cross each other's paths...since what happened between us, so...I'd appreciate it if you left me alone"
"Trust me, I am not here to make friends with you" He said dryly, rubbing his hand all over his face; tracing his short stubble with his fingers.
"Then what? I have somewhere to be" She hoped this wouldn't take long so she could successfully see Jeremiah before he went home.
"I wanna invite you to a party" He said, showing no traces of emotion.
"Me?" She laughed mockingly, "You wanna invite me? Adam, is this a joke–"
"Are you coming or not?" He interjected.
"Of course not"
He shrugged and turned around, walking away, "Sure. Just thought it'd be a good idea to have you there, because Jeremiah's gonna be there as well. I guess I fucking messed up"
It didn't matter what game Adam had rolled up his sleeves, he sure understood what would draw her attention to his proposal. Hearing that name, Xosha felt every trace of pride leave her body. Jeremiah was going to be there? Now, that was a trap.
"Wait!" She called, running after his paced footsteps, "What do you mean?"
"What do you think I mean? Carters?" He faced her, now they weren't so far from each other. His buff figure towered above her.
She began to get angry again, "Look, you just want to use the little knowledge you have against me. So, you're aware I have feelings for your friend–"
"Please, don't get flattered. Everyone knows you like Jeremiah. You don't do so well hiding that ugly jealous look on your face whenever he talks to someone that's not you. Oh, and the turning towards his direction every four minutes, is just...sad" He rolled his honey brown eyes.
She immediately was taken aback, "So, this is all because you somehow feel pity for me?"
"Yes" He replied almost immediately, "It's okay if you don't want to go. I mean, I just thought I'd be doing you a favor"
She didn't even want to stop and wonder if she'd be available.
"When's the party?"
"Friday night"
Shit, she had a sleepover with Dawn on Friday this week. She could absolutely plead with Dawn and head to wherever the party would be held. She felt lucky that the universe had worked with her to place events that'd correspond with each other.
"Fine" she sighed, "I'd be there"
"Don't act like you're doing this for me" He took out his smartphone from his pocket, "Your number? I'd send the address and all"
She took it from his grasp, wanting to go back on her words. She really disliked Adam. He was right. Of course she wasn't doing this for him. Never would she do anything for him. He was the most irksome person she had ever met. Even with his attractive features, she couldn't point out anything she could sincerely be attracted to. He had an awful character, and seeing him attempt to play 'matchmaker', was extremely bemusing.
He took his phone back and turned to go, "See you, then"
"Adam"
He stopped in his tracks.
"Thanks for...you know, this. But know that, nothing would still make me become friends with you"
"Get over it, Carters. Like I said, I am not here to make friends with you"
As he walked out of sight, she tried to digest the whole situation. Adam Haynes invited her to a party, all because of Jeremiah. Again, he had given her another proof that maybe, her hardwork would soon pay off.
♡♡
Jeremiah laid back on the desk in the empty room where he studied. His eyes were on the white sheet of paper on his hands for the longest time.
It was his first preparatory test for AP physics.
He stared at the red mark placed on the top of the paper.
C.
He had never gotten a C before. Not even something as insignificant as a class activity. He wondered what went wrong, and most especially, how to avoid his father from getting hold of this test sheet. He decided to rip it apart to a million tiny pieces once he got home. Coming from a family of highly determined perfectionists, his every move in school was inspected. Particularly now that he had to ensure he passes all his subjects to prevent anything such as an extra year. His dad wasn't the best at communicating and succeeded in making him believe that anything below an A, was an embarrassment. Growing up, he held unto that and worked hard to be a straight A student. Today, he got a C and it triggered him deeply.
He tried to push it aside and continue his study. As Levi would say to cheer him up.
The past stays in the past.
Few minutes into his reading, the room door cracked open and a head popped inside at first.
He turned and had his shoulders relax at the sight of Xosha.
"Hey" she whispered, "May I?"
He laughed softly, "You don't need permission, come on in"
She giggled like a child and walked in shutting the door behind her. Spotting the second seat, she dragged it to the opposite side of the desk he was using. Before she comfortably sat down, he made sure to keep his test script out of her sight.
"Everyone's gone except you again?" He asked with a light grin, fiddling with his chemistry note.
"Actually, Adam is still around...I guess" She replied.
"Oh"
Her tongue danced around behind her pursed lips, she wanted to ask right away what was wrong with him. Even up till now, she could perceive that something was wrong. The thing was, she didn't want to look nosey, but it bothered her a whole lot. She held her breath.
"Are you alright?" She finally asked, releasing the air in her lungs.
He nodded, eyes glued to his notebook.
"Didn't know you lied" She reached for the notebook and dragged it towards her side of the desk, drawing his attention to her.
"Everyone lies once in a while"
"Come on" She whined, "You've literally been like this since morning!"
He found it utterly unbelievable that she'd been keeping tabs on him since morning. He took a moment to appreciate her, before going back to the doubts in his mind. She had her dark braids held in a high ponytail, with her little edges sticking out. Xosha wasn't one of those girls in his class, who'd plaster makeup on their faces each day, but still looked stunning. Her wide brown eyes stared back at him through her horn-rimmed glasses. How could someone like her be so interested in what went on in his head?
"Why do you care?" He asked, fully resting his back on the seat, extending his legs and mistakenly nudging hers, "Sorry"
"It's fine" She gave him one of her pretty smiles.
It hadn't been long since he realized how divine it was when she smiled, and now, he was stunned by how much he liked it when she smiled.
"I care because, it's you. I mean, you're now one of the people I care about" She said, matter-of-factly.
Funny situation. Only if he knew she always felt this way for him, way before they became 'friends'.
"Well, Xosha. It's nothing, really. I guess I just had a bad morning" He shrugged, "And, right now, I'm just a bit tired"
She ran her eyes all over his stuff, sliding his note back to his side, "I have a question"
Feeling cramped, he sat up, "Go on"
"Do you think, sometimes, you overwork? I know how you study here and there. And I know very well you'd do the same when you get home" She winced, hoping she conveyed her message appropriately.
The last thing she wanted to do was upset him.
"So, you're basically asking if I don't get tired or if I take breaks...from school stuff?"
She nodded.
He snickered, running his hand through his silky hair. His grey eyes were dull, she noticed that. Nonetheless, all the weariness on his face didn't stop him from being a pleasantry to her eyes.
"How could someone be so beautiful?" She thought, as she caressed his features with her eyes.
"Has anyone told you...that you're handsome?" She asked and immediately sealed her lips shut.
Narrowing his silver eyes towards her, he grinned softly, "Levi gets all the compliments"
"What?" She grimaced, "Now, that's a violation"
He beamed at her hand gestures.
"Well, thank you for your indirect compliment. Although I try not to completely assimilate compliments"
"Why not?"
"I guess what really matters is our validation of ourselves. Slowly, there's this" He stretched out his fingers, "Dependence on other people's thoughts towards our own bodies. Don't you think so, hmm, Xosha?"
She nodded slowly, "That makes good sense. But I feel you should just appreciate what people think of you, sometimes..."
Deep down, she calmly waited for him to throw a compliment back at her, but it never came.
"Would you consider all of this" He made gestures towards his books, making reference to her earlier question, "As overworking?"
"For me, yeah" She shrugged, avoiding eye contact. With time, she figured out; it was the reason for the warm sensation forming in her stomach and the heavy beating of her heart against her chest.
"Well, you don't have to worry about me. I don't think I'm doing too much, okay?"
"Still, I think you should get some rest, some days. You know, maybe go home on Tuesdays and Thursdays?" She suggested.
He shook his head, "Nah, I have different coping mechanisms"
She nodded, "What's your favourite song? I always see you with your AirPods plugged in. I wanna know what your favourite song is"
Jeremiah panicked for a second. He knew he wasn't like other guys his age or around his age who listened to rap and other common genres of music. He loved listening to indies, soft rock, and ambient sounds. Now that she indirectly demanded for his music taste, he hoped it wouldn't tag him as weird. Without asking, he picked up his pair of AirPods and connected them to his phone. He lent one to her, which she took from his hand without hesitation.
His favourite song was I Wanna Be Yours by Artic Monkeys, and he immediately played it for her, through his Spotify app. He already had hundreds of explanations to give, on why his favourite song started with an offer to be a vacuum cleaner when her face lit up.
"Artic Monkeys?" She whispered, earning a euphoric nod from him.
He felt the tension in his body leveling down. This was a good start.
"No way" She held her hand over her mouth, but her excitement could be seen through her eyes.
"I'm guessing you like it too?" He asked, scrolling back and forth on his playlist.
"Like it?" She rummaged her back for her phone, just to unlock it and head to the last song she played, "I've literally had it on repeat for the past one week"
He gave his phone screen a toothy grin, "I thought I was weird, listening to all of these"
He finally felt at ease to slide his phone to her, urging her to go through his playlist. Xosha was in awe. He was a total dream. She scrolled through the numerous heart-warming songs, some, she knew and some she didn't.
"Any reason why you like this...type of music?" She asked, handing the phone back to its owner.
"I like how I feel at peace while listening to them"
She shook her head in admiration. He should marry her already. Suddenly, like a spasm, she remembered the piece of clothing that hung outstandingly in her wardrobe.
"You know...I'm still with your sweater" She said quietly as she pondered on the lyrics of the song streaming through her left ear. She wished he knew how bad she wanted to relate to these lyrics.
Be his.
"That's fine" He let out a slow breath of relief. Finally, she brought it up.
"You don't want it back?"
"No" He said, his fingers tapping rapidly on his phone screen, "You can have it. I never wore it anyway...and it looked really nice on you"
"Oh", there came the uneasy feeling in her gut again.
He looked up, a mischievous grin escaping from his lips, "Can I show you something?"
She nodded, "Sure"
For the first time today, he let out a perfect toothy grin, turning his phone screen to her face, revealing a video of a group of students dancing.
With her in the middle.
"Fuck!" She exclaimed as a pang of shame started to build up in her, "Who sent you that?"
It should be that cretin; Adam.
"Doesn't matter" He chuckled.
She tried to grab his phone with the only intention of deleting the video but he moved faster than her, retracting his hand and getting up from his seat. Xosha immediately got up from hers and paced towards where he stood, watching the video and throwing his head back in a series of tamed laughter.
"You're..."He remarked inbetween snickers, "A good dancer"
She shook her head rapidly in denial, "Please delete that and forget you ever saw it!"
Without hesitation, she headed straight for the phone in his hands, trying to get hold of it. Just when she thought nothing could spoil this moment, that gut-wrenching video of her dancing like a lunatic surfaced from the depths of hell and into his memory.
Knowing she had no atom of body strength towards him, she still tried fighting her way to get to his phone. It took a sniff of his mesmerizingly narcotic cologne for her to register how close she had gotten to him. He had his back rested on the wall; his left arm which held the phone, was raised above his head. The only thing acting as a barricade between them was the pressure he applied on her elbow as he held her in place with his other arm.
Having a sharper view of his glittering eyes, a lot of thoughts started roaming endlessly all around her head. Maybe she should use this opportunity to let him know how she really felt? Or she should take the bold move and give him a kiss to tell it all.
As tempting as that sounded, a kiss was not going to work at all.
Not wanting to make the situation awkward, she pushed all her erotic thoughts aside and glared at him through her eyebrows, "Hand me that phone, or suffer the consequences"
Noticing some foreign sensations similar to those he had at the parking lot, when he held her, the grin on his face began to fade away and he subtly put his hand down, also letting go of the grip he had on her. It didn't help; they were still really close to each other. Not making matters any better, he took her hand and placed the phone in it, before he headed back to his seat.
That was a lot of physical contact she had just witnessed. She switched hands and tried to play it cool by rubbing the hand he held on her skirt, attempting to stop the numbness. As she planned to, she caught sight of the video and deleted it.
"Sorry, I didn't want to suffer the consequences" He retorted, receiving the phone from her.
"What the?" She chuckled, "No way you took that seriously"
He obviously didn't.
Doing the final clearing of the air, her phone screen lit up with a call.
Her mom.
"Shit. My mom's here" she said without even picking up, "Surprisingly early"
She returned his AirPod back to him as she hung her bag over her shoulder.
He eyed her movements, hoping he did well to hide his disappointment. He appreciated her company a lot and forgot about his worries for a couple of minutes. Now, he was going to be alone and have them crawl back into his head.
"I still think you're a great dancer" He said, rather mockingly.
Her eyes widened, "You did not–"
"Go home, Xosha. Don't keep your mom waiting" He covered his mouth as he lightly yawned.
"I will see you tomorrow" She pointed a finger at him, "This isn't over"
She turned away and headed for the door.
"Bye" He said, not bothering to look at her once more.
"Goodbye, Jeremiah" her voice faded away into tiny echoes as she went out the door.
Alone, once again, he flipped the pages of his Chemistry notebook over to the last, subconsciously. His eyes landed on someone's writing. It was 'Xosha' boldly written in black ink.
The warm sensation dispersed round his body again. Only, this time, he welcomed it.
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A/N: I really, hope you remember when Xosha designed her name at the back of his Chemistry note back in chapter 7♡♡
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