After my appointment with Mrs Lewis, my mind kept replaying what she had said to me. Mrs Lewis tried to schedule another appointment with me and despite being reluctant, I agreed. I knew she was someone who would listen to me and I hadn't realised until I left her office that it was reassuring to be listened to by an adult.
I gave some thought to what she said and soon It wasn't long before I knew what I wanted — I wanted to understand what happened with my sister. Whether I was aware of it or not, but the confusion of what happened the night my sister died was weighing me down. I wanted to know what happened and I think I deserve to know what happened with my sister. So I'd made my decision. I was going to find out what was going on inside Alice's head. I needed to know at this point and I couldn't care less if I wouldn't like what I find. I was going to find out one way or another what happened and I knew where to start. Jason.
Jason was the only person I could name who probably hung out with Alice the night she died. They had a love hate relationship, but he wanted her there. Jason was the one who persuaded Alice to go to the party in the first place. There's no way he wouldn't have spent some time with her. We were all childhood friends, Jason would have gone out of his way to make her feel welcome.
By lunchtime on Monday I decided I needed to see Jason again. Not only that, but I realised some time away from my house would be a good idea. I arranged to study with Taylor and Joe at Taylor's house. They were beyond pleased I was the one to suggest to hang out because of how consumed I'd been in my own head the past couple of weeks. I knew they were trying not to keep asking me how I was, but I could tell they were worried about me and they weren't the only ones.
My step-brother's were too.
The boys were less discrete. They were always nearby like they were keeping an eye on me. It was strange, but for once I didn't mind it. The last time I felt like someone was trying to look after me was when Alice was around.
My mother was a different issue. I knew she was observing me too, but she was watching me from afar like she was just waiting for me to step out of line. I'd tried asking her about what her and my dad were going to do about me, but when I questioned i was going to have to stay with him she dismissed the topic. The only thing she told me was that it's on the table and they're still discussing it.
Not knowing was slowly killing me.
I hadn't spoken to my dad since I last saw him and his number had stopped ringing my phone and had started ringing my mother's. I knew the pair of them were talking about me. My mom was updating him on how I was doing, but luckily for me told him to give me some space whilst I'm still recovering. I was not going to complain about that. He was still the last person I wanted to see.
At the end of the day, I found Harry and Sebastian stood at Harry's locker.
"I'm going to study at Taylor's house." I told them, explaining what I'd agreed with my friends.
Sebastian swallowed hard and raised his eyebrows. "Why not at home?"
I shrugged, "I'd rather not. My Mom's got the day off today and I'd rather keep my distance."
"Why don't you go to the library or something?" Sebastian questioned.
"Does it matter?" I asked, "she's fine with it."
Harry nodded, "no worries, you want a ride home later? I could pick you up?"
"You would?" I questioned, "are you sure?"
"Yeah, it's fine." Harry told me.
"Sounds good, what time can you pick me up?" I asked, turning to Harry.
Harry glanced at Sebastian. "Fancy dragging our little brother to the gym tonight? He's been slacking in practice and I'm not about to let our brother let our team down."
Sebastian nodded, "sure. We'll go around seven?"
Harry grinned and turned back to me. "We'll pick you up around eight."
"Perfect. See you then." I told him.
Harry smiled and me. "And Charlotte?" He said, just before I could turn around. I looked at him, waiting for a response. "Don't forget to have fun."
I rolled my eyes, but nodded. "I can tell how much experience you've had studying with a sentence like that."
Sebastian's eyes glinted in amusement whilst Harry pursed his lips at me like he wanted to say something, but was holding back.
I met with Joe and Taylor after seeing my stepbrother's. The three of us gathered in the parking lot and waited for Jason to pick us up. He took a while -- arriving at least ten minutes later than he said he would, but he was here.
The drive to Taylor's was full of small talk and bickering between Taylor and Joe. I was trying not to roll my eyes every time Taylor let Jason wind her up. Jason was always exceptionally skilled at getting under her skin and for some reason Taylor always failed at letting him.
When we got to the Thornton's house Taylor led us straight upstairs to her bedroom. Usually we'd study in the kitchen, but I was pretty sure she was trying to avoid her brother. We ended up studying for a couple of hours until we started to procrastinate. I was the worst for it with Joe as the runner up. Taylor was the only one of us who could study for hours without finding the threads of her sweater more interesting.
"Popcorn?" I suggested, completely cutting into whatever Taylor was reading from the back of one of her many flash cards.
Taylor pursed her lips in response to the interruption as if she was going to say something. It seemed she decided better of it as she tossed the pink flashcard back into the pile on her desk and sighed in defeat.
"Sure." Taylor muttered, turning from me to Joe. "You're not going anywhere until you come up with an answer to the question I just asked you. Charlie can get the popcorn and we'll wait here."
Joe rolled his eyes, but reluctantly agreed. I didn't wait around for Taylor to change her mind on granting me a free pass. I walked out of there like I wasn't about to retreat back with a bowl of popcorn in hand.
I took my time when i entered the kitchen. I was burned out already and part of me was even tempted to call Harry and ask him to pick me up early. I didn't have the mental capacity to study right now, but exams and deadlines don't wait -- no matter your state of mind.
"Charlie." I heard someone say to me.
Stood in the kitchen doorway was Jason Thornton. I let out a small sigh of relief when I saw it was him and not Taylor coming to drag be back up stairs, claiming I've taken too long.
"Hey." I smiled. "I'm just getting some popcorn, if that's all right?"
Jason smiled softly at me. "Of course, you know you're welcome to help yourself to anything here."
I smiled appreciatively at him and went back to preparing some popcorn. Jason seemed to be on a mission too as he started preparing himself what looked like a grilled cheese.
"You want one?" Jason asked me when he caught me eyeing his cooking skills.
My lips twisted, "they're expecting me upstairs with popcorn."
"So? It's Taylor. Make her wait." Jason smirked.
I rolled my eyes. "Fine, as long as you're quick."
Jason smirked at me and got to work. Before I knew it, a bowl of popcorn was ready to take upstairs and i was sat opposite Jason on their island with a grilled cheese.
"This looks amazing, Jason." I complimented, taking a bite. "it taste's amazing too."
Jason gave me a cocky smile. "Well, I am the best cook in long shore."
"Don't get too ahead of yourself, this is the first time I've ever seen you cook something instead of getting take out." I scoffed, smirking as I thought back to all of the parties he hosted here, which often lead to us having take out the next morning.
My smile faltered as my mind rested on the memory of the party Alice left the night she died. We didn't have take out that morning. I didn't eat anything that day.
"Charlie, you okay?" Jason asked me, looking at me with concern.
i guess my face had given me away.
"I confronted Jack about what happened the night Alice died."
Grief and anger washed over Jason's features at the reminder of that night.
"You shouldn't have done that Charlie. I don't trust or like Jack Williams, he's a jerk."
"I agree with you on that, I do. It's just I found out he wasn't in the other car that night. His girlfriend, Kiera, kicked him out when they were in an argument. Ironically enough, Sebastian Lakewood was the one who picked him up from the side of the road."
Jason's eyebrows rose in surprise at my words. "He did?" His eyes filled with relief as he thought what I told him over. "A part of me had always wondered if his parents used their money to get Jack out of that situation."
He didn't know.
"They didn't." I replied, more clippedly.
Mine did.
"Do you know what was going on with Alice that night? I can't shake the feeling something was off with her that night. My memory's too hazy to remember." I explained, guilt resurfacing in my stomach.
"Not too much. She was easier to persuade that night -- i didn't have to try as hard to get her to actually come to a party."
"Do you know why?" I asked. "Please Jason, if you know anything please tell me. I need to know."
Jason looked at me warily. "Are you sure this is a good idea to start asking questions about that night? Taylor told me about the accident you were in ---"
"--- Jason, it's not about that." I cut him off. "I just need to know. I don't really think I can move on and get closure without knowing what was troubling her that night."
Jason sighed and looked away from me. "Charlie are you sure you're okay?" He asked me, looking into my eyes..
I nodded. "fine, but i'll be a lot better when I know. i think it's going to drive me insane if I don't find out."
"Charlie --"
"--- Jason, Alice was drinking that night too."
Jason was speechless when he heard the truth. I froze, realising I had let someone know a truth i was never supposed to know myself. He looked at me cautiously and I tried to control the anxiety that was creeping it's way up my throat.
Fuck, what had I done?
"How do you know that?" Jason asked me. "Who told you?"
"My mother." I replied.
Jason nodded, realisation creeping into his eyes. That's when it hit me.
"Oh god, you knew didn't you?" I questioned.
Guilt flashed through his features as he gave me a small nod, before forcing himself to look me in the eye.
"I'm sorry, Charlie." He said. " I didn't think it would be any good if you knew about that. Alice wasn't herself that night."
Of course, who else would have Alice been drinking with that night? It all made sense. Alice was hanging out with Jason because he was the one who invited her. He wanted to make sure she had a good night. That must be why he felt the need to tell me about Jack because he felt guilty. He wanted to let me in somehow and that was the only way he knew how to do it without destroying the image i had of her in my head. He didn't want me to think Alice could take any blame for what happened that night. He'd rather me project it onto a stranger.
"You didn't have to protect me, Jason." I almost growled. "Did you tell me about jack so i'd have someone to blame that wasn't Alice herself?"
"I wanted you to be aware with who you're surrounded by. I didn't want you to trust him too easily when I was suspicious about his involvement in the accident that night." Jason explained.
I understood where Jason was coming from. With Jack i'd rather have known everything than nothing at all. The problem with Jason is he had only told me half of the truth. Without knowing Kiera had kicked him out of the car that night, he was just something to fixate on and direct my anger and frustration.
"I appreciate that." I replied, realising I did. It eventually gave me some clarity of the accident and that was a piece of what will make up the whole truth I will eventually find out. "I just need you to tell me everything else you remember."
Jason sighed, but nodded reluctantly. I guess I'd successfully made him realise I wasn't going to give in. I would find out one way or another, whether or not he decides to help me do it.
"Alice had a lot on her mind that night. I think your parent's marriage was weighing her down and she had this school project or something she wouldn't put down."
"School project?" I questioned.
I couldn't remember Alice telling me anything about a project she was working on. Alice was always studying. I never really questioned what she was studying.
"Yeah, she kept complaining to me about how she couldn't stand the person she'd been made to work with. They kept getting into arguments or something." Jason said, but then looked at me reluctantly. "Come to think of it, i think the person she was partnered with was Sebastian Lakewood."
Sebastian?
"You've got to be joking." I stated.
My mind recalled Tommy or Harry suggesting Sebastian and Alice had worked on a school project or something together, but having Alice complain to Jason about him that night was a little weird. What if they'd got into an argument that night too?
It made sense.
"She was upset about something that night, who knows? In all honesty, that nights pretty blurry for me too. I was playing beer pong for a lot of it. You're better off asking Sebastian yourself."
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Sebastian's good with secrets, that's what I learnt so far. I was going to have to make him be honest with me. I was done with not knowing. I was going to find out everything. I couldn't care less whether people thought it wasn't good for me. I was going to find out and Sebastian was going to tell me.
Thank you for reading!
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