I had to take my hair down to cover up the hickeys, but honestly, it's the least of my worries right now. Mr Lawrence isn't here yet, but Mr LaRusso is already in full gi and headband, practicing a kata I know well. They can't fight... this team up has to work...
"Mr LaRusso..?" I ask from the doorway to get his attention. I feel small, like I'm just a little kid again... I'd be lying if I said I don't feel like I did when I was ten years old, learning that my mom had terminal cancer. Small... unsure... afraid...
"Parker? What are you doing here? The fight is gonna start soon," he asks. I bow, then actually walk into the dojo.
"I'm surprised more people aren't here already," I say, looking either down, or at various points on the wall so we don't make eye contact, "do you have to do this? There has to be another way, why can't we all just work together?"
"We've tried that, and it hasn't worked,"
"But it did, we were all tolerating each other, we were learning things we wouldn't have learned if we didn't have each other, things we need-"
"Parker!" Mr LaRusso says, cutting me off, "I know you want this to work, but it just doesn't... it's nothing you did wrong, it's nothing any of you did wrong, but now that Cobra Kai has Silver, we need to focus on Miyagi-Do style training. It works, you have to trust me."
"I trust you..." I say quietly, giving in. There's no use in arguing with him. He's dead set on fighting Mr Lawrence... and there's nothing I can do to stop it... his expression softens and he puts a hand on my shoulder.
"It's all gonna be va bene soon, I promise," Mr LaRusso says.
"Promise?" I ask, trying to fight back tears.
"Promise," he returns. With that and a final squeeze of my shoulder, he returns to his kata, leaving me standing on the side. I don't linger for too much longer, instead opting to wander out into the training yard, aimlessly walking around the decks and plants and the rock until I find myself fixated on the koi pond. I bend down to look more closely at the koi fish. The orange and white scales seem to shimmer like gemstones in the dying evening light. Miguel told me about how he managed to catch one- by circling until they were all congregated under the board and then grabbing one from the concentrated mass. Circling... it's Miyagi-Do's tried and true technique... it worked against Silver... I was really happy for Miguel when Mr LaRusso gave him the headband- it looks almost identical to mine, but the pattern on mine is just slightly different. Something about it and the fact that I jumped in Mr Lawrence's lesson made me feel like we were all starting to become one dojo. Like we had our different sides and methods of fighting, but in the end, we would all be one... I guess I was wrong.
A few small ripples in the water disrupt my reflection and my thoughts. Even in the distorted view, I can tell that my face is splotchy. Tears... I touch a gentle hand to my cheek. Yep... now is not the time. I have to be strong. My karate family is falling apart... and I have to be the wire on the bonsai. Why are all of my families so dysfunctional? My immediate family is a train wreck to say the least, my extended family on my dad's side is only willing to offer help when it makes them look good- except for Abuelita, my extended family on my mom's side didn't reach out after my mom's death until literally today, my Miyagi-Do family fell apart when Robby ran away, and now this family is slipping through my fingers as if I'm trying to grab handfuls of smoke...
All of this is a mess... I don't know how to clean it up. I don't know how to fix this... I fix things, it's what I do. Why can't I figure this out? Why can't I fix this?
Footsteps from behind catch my attention, causing me to whip around, guard at the ready.
"Woah, it's just me," Miguel says, laughing a little. I lower my hands, turning back to the pond. He sits down next to me.
"somebody has to help ref... you know fights better than any of us. Wanna do it with me?"
I hesitate for a moment, then shake my head no. I can't. I don't even want this to be happening. I don't think I'd be in the right state of mind. I already feel like I'm gonna be sick. I don't think I can handle having to judge which technique rips us apart for good.
"I don't know how to fix this... I don't know what to do... if we're gonna beat Cobra Kai now that they have Silver, we need both styles... I don't know how to fix this..." I say, staring into the pond. He sighs.
"I don't know either... I want to keep learning both too... Sensei Lawrence isn't gonna give in though. I talked to him earlier- or, I tried to. He didn't really listen to me," he says. So he gets it...
"I tried too... he seems pretty dead set. And I tried talking to Mr LaRusso- twice. He's not budging," I say. He nods a little, looking forward at the water. Neither of us say much for a little while, just taking in the sounds around us. Mr LaRusso's distant sharp exhales, the soft rustling of the grass, the sound of Miguel breathing...
"No matter who wins, we're still cool, right?" Miguel asks, breaking the sound-filled silence. ¿Qué? Of course we'll still be cool. He's one of my closest friends, and Mr LaRusso and Mr Lawrence's feud can't change that.
"¿Qué tipo de pregunta es esa? (what kind of question is that?) Of course we'll still be cool," I say, managing a small smile. He grins back at me.
"Sólo tenía que comprobar (just had to check)," he responds, "I think I see Sam. Talk to you after this is all over?"
"I don't feel like this will ever be over,"
"We can hope, right?"
"I guess so, yeah," I say, even though hope seems to be but a dim light in a sea of darkness, "talk to you after the fight, Mig."
With one last grin, Miguel stands up, jogging over to Sam, leaving me alone with nothing but my reflection in the pond, and an increasingly sinking feeling in my stomach.
——
My focus stays glued on the fight, but input from all around me threatens to overwhelm my brain. If things get a decibel louder, I think my sanity might genuinely start to be tested. The score is 2-2... whoever scores the next point will take over our training. I can't help but be reminded of last year's All Valley, when Miguel and I were in this same position. There was a move that Mr LaRusso did... Mr Lawrence's arm went completely limp... the strikes must've targeted pressure points or something like that... it was almost scary... I didn't know Mr LaRusso knew or was capable of something like that...
Things seem to slow down and speed up at the same time as Mr LaRusso kicks Mr Lawrence in the face... and Mr Lawrence back fists Mr LaRusso in the face... at the same time.
"Point, LaRusso!" Sam exclaims.
"Point, Lawrence!" Miguel exclaims at the same time, "are you sure?"
"Are you sure?" Sam returns. My heart pounds. Of course this is happening. How ironic that things aren't black and white...
"Check the replay!" Demetri calls out. That's right, somebody's been recording everything. Smart idea. Everybody crowds around the phone to watch the footage. Maybe it'll reveal something, but everybody was already watching from that angle. It's nothing they haven't already seen.
"Go to another angle," Mr Lawrence says as they watch exactly what everybody already saw.
"There is no other angle..." Chris says back. No...
"Yes there is," I say, walking over to where everybody else is crowded, "there's always another angle. I saw the whole thing from the other side."
"Well then who won?" Mr Lawrence asks. I don't say a word. Everybody's eyes are on me, silently begging for an answer. I know who technically won... I know who would take over our training... I know which technique will tear our alliance in half...
"Parker... puoi sussurrarlo... (you can whisper it...) You can tell us who won," Mr LaRusso urges gently. My face burns, my heart pounds in my chest, tears choke up my throat, my stomach twists in and out of knots, and my hands are now fully shaking. I have to ignore it all. I have to be strong. I have to be the wire... even if it means risking how my peers and mentors view me.
"No. I'm not going to," I say, tone somehow coming out firm and steady, "because while the two of you are doing this, Cobra Kai is training, and training harder than ever. They have Silver now, and the two of them aren't fighting like niños, they're training their students. They're making moves. And- Eli..?"
His hood is pulled over his head, his gait is slow and solemn, and the look in his eyes... though the hood shadows them, I can see the sting of tears whenever he shifts into the light. What happened to him..?
"Shit.. Eli, what happened?" Demetri asks. Something doesn't feel right. Something isn't right.
Without saying a word, Eli pulls his hood down, revealing his mohawk completely gone, reduced to nothing but jagged bits on either side of his head. My hand covers my mouth in shock. No... I get pulled towards him with the current of people as they walk closer. A million thoughts start racing in my head. Who did this? Why would they do it? How did this happen?
"Who did this?" Mr Lawrence asks, stepping out of the sea of people, his voice low and serious. Eli doesn't meet his eyes, or any of our eyes.
"Cobra Kai," he answers. My heart twinges with hurt, shock, and... guilt. I bite the inside of my cheek so hard that the metallic taste of blood stings my tongue. This is really happening... and there's not a doubt in my mind that Robby had something to do with it. After what happened at the baseball diamond and especially after what I told him? If he wasn't involved, I'll be more surprised. Eli pulls his hood back up, hiding the ruins of his hair once more.
"Kreese and Silver did this. They need to pay," Mr Lawrence says. No... well, maybe, but Robby was involved. I have my doubts that the two leaders themselves were involved. Wait... Silver said they were going out to dinner... I don't trust a word that man says, but it didn't seem like they were going to do.. this. And Eli is a good fighter, I should know, I fought him multiple times before. Robby alone wouldn't have been able to do this. It was a collaborative effort from the students.
"Jesus, Johnny. Please," Mr LaRusso says stepping forward, "Kreese tried to kill you last time. You wanna fight them both?"
"Damn right I do," Mr Lawrence retaliates, "look at what they did."
"Dousing the fire with gasoline, that's your answer?" Mr LaRusso says in exasperation, "why am I not surprised?"
"Sensei stop," Miguel says as Mr Lawrence takes a step closer. His words fall on deaf ears.
"You still think your way is the only way," Mr Lawrence says, "you were so proud when they pulled their little sprinkler prank the other night. If they stood their ground and kicked ass like I taught them, this never would have happened."
I feel frozen. This isn't going to end well... at this point, it's just a matter of my heart accepting what my brain already knows is going to happen...
"If they fight every time they're provoked, where does that lead?" Mr LaRusso says back, "back to the hospital? Or to jail? Just 'cause you spent your share of time in both-"
"Enough, Dad," Sam says, putting a hand on his arm.
"What?"
"Johnny's right," she says, "it doesn't matter how many times we stand up to Cobra Kai, if we don't strike back, they're gonna keep coming at us."
A heavy silence falls over all of us. She's right... they're both right. Fighting all the time will lead to us all getting hurt or worse, but if we don't fight back, it'll just keep happening, like what we talked about at the hearing to save the tournaments... there has to be an answer where they're both right, or they're both wrong... there has to be another angle...
"And you were worried about my influence on your kids," Mr LaRusso says, no longer raising his voice, but somehow it makes my heart beat even faster, "is this what you want, Johnny? To have my daughter and the rest of my students acting like you?"
"You don't have to worry about it anymore," Mr Lawrence says, "'cause we're done."
"Works for me," Mr LaRusso agrees. No... they glare at each other for a few moments more, then the Eagle Fangs follow Mr Lawrence out of the yard, Miguel being the last to do so. I can tell how torn he is... he liked the Miyagi-Do style...
"Go home. All of you," Mr LaRusso finally says after the Eagle Fangs are completely gone. So this is it. Our alliance, the one thing that gave us hope at winning and securing our safety, just shattered. And now we're just supposed to go home like nothing happened. Most listen. Sam and I stay back.
"Parker do you need a ride?" she asks. I shake my head no.
"Thank you though," I say, to be polite, even though things feel weird between us right now. I feel as if I've just gone on a rollercoaster. The ground doesn't feel quite stationary under my feet. My stomach is a turbulent sea. And my heart won't stop pounding. She nods, giving me a small smile before it falls again.
"Both of you need to go home..." Mr LaRusso says again. Sam does as he says, walking away without looking back. I can't leave. I don't care what I reveal to Mr LaRusso. It doesn't matter now. He and Mr Lawrence aren't gonna work together. That's just how it is. But that doesn't mean we can't still find balance in our styles.
"Parker..."
"No... we needed Mr Lawrence and his style of karate. We needed his crazy lessons. We needed his overly-offense-focused point of view. We needed him," I say. He looks heart broken, as if I've betrayed him somehow.
"So not only does he have my own daughter against me, he's got you too?" he asks in disbelief. I'm not against either of them!
"I'm not against you, and I'm not against Mr Lawrence. I'm against Cobra Kai, and we needed his karate to beat them. We need him, and he needs us. And now..." I trail off, having to blink back tears.
"What we need to beat Cobra Kai is Miyagi-Do karate. Trust me, I've fought them before and it works,"
"I do trust you... but I've fought them too, and what works best is a balance of defense and offense. You don't just have to do one or the other, I spent months figuring that out last year. I need you to trust me..."
"Silver is crazy, you don't know him like I do. You've never had to fight against him. Miyagi-Do worked," he says. He's so damn predictable. The Sun rising and setting itself would look at him and find him too rigid in his ways. I should've seen this coming. He's like the rock that we had to stand back up over the summer.
"You always teach us about balance. We need balance to win against Silver and against his Cobras," I say. I hate arguing. I feel like I'm fighting with my Pá again... a pointless verbal spar that gets us nowhere but further apart...
"How do you know anything about what we need to win against Silver?" Mr LaRusso asks, starting to raise his voice at me.
"Because I sparred him!" I finally admit, meeting his eyes for a second before I have to look away again. There. That's how I know.
"What?"
"I sparred him two days ago, when I was at the Cobra Kai dojo. Neither of us were going full out and nobody got hurt, but still. I was getting my ass kicked until I took what you taught us about circling and what Mr Lawrence taught us about taking initiative and striking fast, then I was able to get an opening and next thing I knew, I had him on the ground,"
"So that's how he knew who you were? What, you didn't think this was information you should've shared with me?" he asks, though I can tell that no matter what answer I give, it wont be the correct one. I don't think he's ever been this mad at me... sure, after my tae kwon do tournament in the summer he was upset, but he confirmed that he wasn't really mad at me. Here... somehow I feel both rooted where I stand and ready to flee at any moment.
"I didn't say anything because- I didn't say anything because I knew you would react like this," I respond, using everything in my being to keep my voice steady.
"Per amor del cielo, what the hell were you doing at the Cobra Kai dojo anyway?!"
"I was going to see Robby..."
"You were going to see- why didn't you just tell him to meet you anywhere else? I get it, you two were close, but he chose his path, and that path is sure as hell not yours! You think hanging around the Cobra Kai dojo is gonna do you any good? You're usually so careful and smart, why would you do something so stupid?! You're the one person who manages to scare the Cobras and you're just stopping by like they're your best friends? A cosa stavi pensando?! Scegliere litigi con uno dei loro senseis come se non fosse niente? Cosa ti è entrato?! (what were you thinking?! Picking fights with one of their senseis like it's nothing? What's gotten into you?!) Perché-"
"Io e Robby siamo insieme! (Robby and I are together!)" I blurt out, cutting him off before it gets any worse. Mr LaRusso goes absolutely silent. There's the truth. Now Mr LaRusso knows... now he knows... Abuelita, Kreese, Silver, and all of the Cobra Kais know... and now Mr LaRusso does too... my face gets red hot. What did I just do? My breathing gets heavy, but I try to hide it.
"What..?" he asks, not seeming angry, but definitely shocked.
"Robby and I... we're- we're dating..." I say, almost whispering it this time. I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
"Since when? When did you two get together?" Mr LaRusso asks, again not sounding angry, but it still has me on edge.
"Since two days before the house fight... it was after we saved the All Valley and the tae kwon do tournament. I was coming here to be alone and we ran into each other. We talked a little, and he kissed me, then we went back to my apartment and things just sort of... fell into place..." I say for lack of better words. He nods a little.
"I was always wondering when this was gonna happen... I just thought what happened with Miguel might've detoured it..." he responds. And I was wondering when he was gonna bring up something like that. My posture stiffens a little.
"He didn't do that on purpose. I asked him about it myself before things got too far,"
"How do you know he wasn't just telling you what you wanted to hear? He's had feelings for you since you started training together- the only one who couldn't see that was you. When you finally realized, why would he say anything to push you away from him?" he asks. My heart pangs with hurt. Why would he say something like that?
"I know what you did helped him, but he doesn't see it that way. Sometimes it's easy to see why. You remind him of his dad... which is funny, because it's true. You and Mr Lawrence are a lot more alike than either of you want to admit. Robby wouldn't do anything to hurt me, that much I do know. We've got each other's backs no matter what, that's our thing. And- and you told us that we were in this together whether we liked it or not. It stuck. I'm asking that you don't tell Sam about this because it'll make everything more messy than it already is, but at this point, I don't give a shit what happens, because at the end of the day, I'll fix it; I'll make it work," I say, tears choking up my words. I'm shaking down to the bone. I want everything with Mr LaRusso to be va bene, I need everything to be va bene... I can't lose another father figure... but right now... right now, I'm upset... I'm upset with this whole situation, I'm upset with Mr Lawrence... and I'm upset with Mr LaRusso.
"I won't tell Sam... I won't do that to you.. but Robby.. he's changed, he-"
"No... I don't want to hear anything else about Robby. You can tear Miyagi-Do and Eagle Fang apart, but I'm not gonna let you do the same to me and Robby," I interrupt. Usually I don't do that, but he's just gonna keep going on and on about this, and I need something good in my life. I just want to have one good thing that doesn't get violently ripped away from me.
"Are you saying that it's my fault that Johnny's a jackass that won't cooperate even if it's for the good of everyone else?" he asks, seeming appalled. ¡Ay caramba! This is why we fell apart! This is why we lost our chance at securing our safety! This is why this has been happening for as long as it has been!
"The fault lies on both of you, equally. You're both so set in your own ways, you won't see that things could be different, that they could be better. You each think that your way is the only way, and you're both wrong. There's always another way to view things," I say, voice a little cold, "no matter how you look at it, we've fallen apart. You're not gonna change your mind no matter what I say, and I should've known that it was always gonna be that way. I'm done trying to make you realize that, there's nothing left I can do."
"Parker, we tried and it didn't work, there was no other angle," Mr LaRusso pleads, even though there's nothing left to plead for right now. He's just doing the same thing over and over again...
"There's always another angle," with that, I walk away. I don't have anything else to say. Nothing I say is gonna fix things right now. Nothing I can do will put Miyagi-Do and Eagle Fang back together. Mr Lawrence and Mr LaRusso are too far gone. Maybe it was juvenile to think that anything I could've possibly said would've brought them together. All I know now is that if I want to find balance in all of these styles and my life, I'm gonna have to fight for it. It's like... my bonsai tree after my dad nearly destroyed it. Splintered. Tattered. Ruined... but it has strong roots... all I need now is a new pot, fresh soil, and some wire. I just have to close my eyes and re-visualize... I just have to find another angle.
• • •
A/N- im kinda in love with this chapter, don't ask why, I couldn't tell you. Anyway, stay safe and take care of yourselves <3