Word Count: 1980
~Kiva
I stare into the mirror, hating what looks back.
Today is my wedding day. This afternoon I will be wed to Caspian, and I will be a Princess in his territory. To make matters worse, I'll be moving in here full time.
And there will be no avoiding Caspian.
My door swings open, my father striding in.
"Today is the day," I muse, brushing at a few stray hairs that have fallen from my up-do. Two girls spent three hours getting me ready, and now I'm exhausted.
My eyes drift to where my dress hangs. I hate it. I hate this entire time experience.
"You were born for this, daughter," father exclaims, adjusting the lapels of his jacket.
"I just hope I'll be happy," I breathe.
I don't seem to have the energy to force a smile onto my face right now. Instead, I look solemn, like the life has been sucked out of me overnight. Father doesn't seem to notice, though.
"I'm going to miss you around the manor." He rests his hands on my shoulders, meeting my gaze in the mirror.
I swing around in my chair, looking up at him.
"Do you ever wish I could have lived a normal life. That you could have?"
"We always wish for what we can't have. It's a part of life," he responds tightly, shifting uncomfortably.
We have had this conversation before, and each time it becomes more manicured for my ears. I don't want to see it as a tactic of manipulation because I love my father.
At this point, he's all I have left.
"That doesn't answer my question," I clip, raising a brow expectantly, grimacing a little at the tight feeling of makeup pulling at my skin. I wish it were a little more breathable, although the girls wouldn't have it.
It is best practice for me to look like the painted manikin Caspian wants me to be, that he can fashion into whatever he pleases.
"No Kiva. I enjoy the power I have. You should to."
I sigh though my nose. "Maybe."
I don't enjoy the power. Father equates it to the truest freedom there is, while to me, it feels like chains wrapping tighter and tighter around me.
He strides over, kissing the top of my head. "I'll see you down there, alright."
I nod mutely, watching him head toward the door. He seems so happy to see me married off that it kind of hurts.
Ark steps into the room just as my father leaves.
I watch them exchange silent glances. Once my father is gone though, Ark's expression morphs into one of disgust.
"I hate the way you look at my father," I mutter, glaring at him as he closes the door.
"Never seen pure hatred before?" He rubs his gloved hands together, approaching me. He doesn't look dressed for a wedding, but that is because he isn't attending as a guest.
He will be there, in the shadows, ensuring that no harm comes to me or Caspian.
"You still haven't told me why you hate him and yet work for him?" I bring up, stalking over to my dress, shifting the fabric around with my hand.
"I will. Just not yet."
I roll my eyes. "This is why I'm marrying Caspian. You're so shady."
Ark better consider being honest with me soon, because once I'm married to Caspian, there is a chance he will remain as my personal guard. My husband will happily fire him.
"It's still not to late-"
I hold my hand up, silencing him. "Don't. This is hard enough."
"Alright."
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I tear my attention from my dress and to him. I have been raked with guilt these past couple weeks, knowing that my marriage to Caspian is hurting Ark and Taven.
"You're strangely calm about this," I say. Part of me expected him to be begging me not to do this, producing all sorts of excuses for why it's a terrible idea.
But over the past few days, Ark has been eerily silent about his protests to my upcoming marriage.
"Divorce exists," he muses simply.
"That won't be happening." Caspian would rather kill me in front of his people than be subjected to the shame of being divorced. My father wouldn't accept me back into his manor anyways. I would be homeless.
He only smiles. It's a look so unlike him, even if it isn't warm. It's dark and telling.
"We'll see."
"You always look like you know more than you say," I mutter, turning to look out the window. It's a perfectly gloomy day to match my mood.
There is no escaping this either. Not even a honeymoon. There is nothing romantic about this union.
"That's because I do."
"Let me guess, you won't share?"
"Time is our friend, Kiva. Just wait and see," he murmurs. He's so dreadfully calm I could be deceived into thinking he doesn't care for me any longer.
There is more to this than that conclusion, though. I can feel it deep inside.
"You're so weird," I sigh, adjusting a pin that is jammed into my scalp.
Ark may be planning something terrible, but I don't have it in me to care, or even to be curious. He can burn this manor down with me in it and I doubt I would feel anything beyond this endless misery.
It's my own fault. I've done this to myself.
"Be safe tonight, alright," Ark breathes solemnly, stepping toward the door.
"I'll try," I mutter, turning back to the mirror.
He lingers by the door for a moment longer. "You'll get through this."
I muster a smile but it's weak and pathetic. As Ark leaves, I wonder if there is anymore to be said between us. After this marriage, everything is going to change, and him not bringing it up is making me anxious.
I stare at myself in the mirror, summoning a breath. "Let's get this over with."
The ceremony passed in a blur.
Far too many people I don't know came and witnessed the awkwardly exchanged vows and uncomfortable kiss. If any of them cared, they would have seen my reluctance.
But of course, the issue never came up.
After the ceremony, I sat though a boisterous party where everyone got drunk and forgot they are meant to be people of noble birth.
Ark didn't come near me the entire night. He just watched at a distance, giving me comforting smiles when I glanced his way.
The night has now drawn to a close, and before everyone has been filtered out, Caspian wraps his arm around me and leads me upstairs.
Panic immediately blooms from where it had been seated deeply inside me all night.
I knew this was coming, and now I can't seem to find an excuse to get out of it. Most noble marriages are consummated, even if the two people involved are not in love.
Caspian closes his bedroom door behind us, flicking the light on.
"I'm tired," I murmur, pulling off Caspian's mother's crown which I wore through the entire ceremony, setting it down on the desk.
Caspian's own crown was abandoned hours ago when he started drinking. Mercifully he seems to have sobered up a little more, likely in preparation for this.
"Hopefully not too tired." he laughs a little, tugging his suit jacket off.
I swallow tightly, looking toward the bed.
The thought of climbing under the sheets with Caspian physically repulses me. Taven and Ark come to mind. What would they think if they knew I slept with him? Marrying him is my job, but sleeping with him...I hate the thought.
"I just want to go to sleep, Caspian," I tell him, grabbing at the sleeping clothes I prepped this morning. They are purposefully conservative.
Caspian frowns. "We just married, it's custom-"
"I've married you, like everyone around me has wanted. I am not going to sleep with you. Got it?" I snap irritably, ridding my hair of as many pins from my hair as possible.
He comes up behind me, reaching to grab me.
"You are my wife-"
I whirl around, overcome by anger as I slap him across the face.
He flinches back, hand reaching up to hold where my hand made contact against his cheek. He looks momentarily shocked, before a burning fire of rage starts simmering in his eyes.
"Don't you dare touch me," I growl.
I'm not just angry at him for expecting this from me, for not even trying to find a way to make me more comfortable, but I'm also angry at myself for not fighting harder to get out of this.
"You can't leave tonight, Kiva. You'll destroy your reputation and our marriage will be deemed illegitimate," he responds, his arms so tense I wouldn't be surprised if he hit me back.
Dread spreads through me, icing my veins, causing my stomach to churn to the point I may be sick on his floor.
He is right. If it is found out that our marriage was not consummated, then I'll be forced onto the street's as a disgraced Princess. And right now, Caspian is looking ready to spread the word about my reluctance.
A pounding knock on the door has up both flinching.
Caspian sighs irritably, opening the door open a crack.
"What is it?"
"There is a problem Sir."
It's Ark. I can't see him, but it's his voice. A flicker of hope flutters through me. Him being here, interrupting us is no coincidence. He knows this isn't something I want to go through with.
"With what?" Caspian snaps. If Ark pushes him too hard, he will lose his job right now, and maybe will have to leave with a black eye.
"Some of the guests you invited are causing some trouble. They wouldn't listen to me."
"Fine. Get out of my way." Caspian leaves the room, pushing past Ark and down the stairs to the fake scene that Ark likely set up.
I rush to him, my mate, so relieved I could cry.
"Go back to your room Kiva. Lock your door," he instructs firmly. He looks just like the man I met many months ago for the first time. He was the perfect mercenary, coming to guard my life.
"Thank you," I breathe. I glance at the stairs, anticipating Caspian's swift and angry return.
I make toward my room, but Ark grabs my arm, turning my attention back to him. "Tell me to wait."
"Wait for what?"
His gaze is dark and primal, scaring even me."Tell me tonight is not the night I get my revenge on that man."
I know what he means by revenge. He wants to kill Caspian, like he nearly did to Caspian's friend.
"Ark..." I don't know what to say. Convincing him out of it seems virtually impossible. He nearly killed a man just for talking inappropriately about me. I can't imagine his intentions for a man married to his mate.
"I'm hanging on by a thread, Kiva. The bigger picture suddenly isn't mattering," he growls lowly.
I want to question him on this supposed bigger picture, but I need to put distance between Caspian and I before he returns, which will be very shortly.
"We will talk about this in the morning. Don't hurt anyone," I insist, backing away from him.
He shakes his shoulders, seeming to knock some sense into himself. He then nods, back to the procedural guard I've entrusted with my life.
"I'll keep him away from your room tonight," he promises.
I smile gratefully, turning to rush to my room. I'll deal with Caspian tomorrow.
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I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! and as always it is available 10 chapters ahead on Radish!
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~Midika 💜🐼