-----------
I don't think i'll ever get used to the snow. The little white flecks that are never the same design as the one before will never cease to make me feel like a child again.
Even though I never witnessed the falling snow when i was a child, it makes me feel innocent and new to the world.
This keeps me up at night.
The snow, when it falls, it keeps my brain awake.
So, when I hear a branch break to my left, I react immediately. I reach for my knife but come up empty because of Roan, so I brace myself if they do attack.
But all I see is nothing. Nobody is there. I sigh, shaking my head, before going back to staring at Roan's sleeping face.
My bones are vibrating with excitement that we're going to see Lexa, but a part of me misses Bellamy. I miss his touch, smile, laugh. His lips.
Another twig snaps.
This time I abruptly stand. Another twig snaps from my right. I whip my head in that direction and my eyes widen.
I see a figure running towards me.
I break out into a run. I make it a handful of yards before I'm tackled to the ground. I flip over and my heart stops.
"Shhh," Bellamy whispers, his hand over my mouth. "You've already made enough noise to wake the whole forest, Hails." I see his lips crack into a grin and I find myself smiling.
"What are you doing here?" I whisper yell after he uncovers my mouth.
"Saving you?" He says, his eyebrows furrowing. "Also, what did you do to your hair?" He asks, grabbing at a piece.
"I dyed it red and cut it." I answer, glancing away.
"I like it." I look back at him and a small smile makes its way onto my face.
But, it's short lived. "Bellamy, I can't go with you." I say and his whole demeanour changes.
"What do you mean?" His voices has a trace of malice to it. "I have been searching for you for months."
"I..." I go to answer, but my voice breaks. "I need to kill Lexa." I answer.
His eyebrows raise. "You're choosing revenge over me?" He asks, offended.
"No!" I whisper yell, reaching out for him. "I'm doing this for us!" I say, grabbing his hands.
"Then let me save you! We can kill her together." He says, inching closer to me.
"Bell, this is the easiest way to get in." I murmur, my face inching closer to his. I miss his lips.
He sets his forehead against mine and our breaths mingle together. "Please come with me." He murmurs before grabbing my jaw. "Please." He murmurs before capturing my lips with his own.
Immediately I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing back.
His lips make my head spin. He leans away only to say, "Please come with me." Before planting wet kisses down my jaw and neck.
"I..." I try and say 'no,' but with him working my neck, I can't speak.
He brings his face up to mine and sighs. "Please." He murmurs again, placing his palms on my cheeks.
"No."
-----------------------
"I heard you leave last night." Roan says with the sound of our shoes crunching the snow beneath our feet.
I nod before speaking. "I saw Bellamy." I say, sighing to myself.
"And you didn't leave?" He asks, his voice flat.
"No." I answer.
He doesn't answer for a long time.
"We should be at the gates of Ton-DC soon." He says, glancing over at me. "What is your plan?" He asks.
"Slit her throat." I quip.
"After that." He lets out a chuckle.
I shrug. "I never got that far."
I hear him scoff. "This is the last time I ever put my trust in you."
"That's probably a good idea." I mutter, eyeing the structures in the distance. "Everyone around me gets hurt." I sigh.
"You may be incorrect, Hailey." He murmurs suddenly.
I roll my eyes. "You don't have any room to talk, Roan. You kidnapped me." I scoff.
"Well, technically, I un-kidnapped you by taking you to Lexa instead of my mother." He smirks.
I roll my eyes. "Still kidnapping." I mutter.
"You had the chance to leave, but you didn't take it." I hear him sigh as we near the gates.
"I know I'd regret it it if I went with him." I mutter. "But I also know that I'll regret not going with him."
"I know you will." He says before sighing.
"What's wrong?" I ask as he stops in front of the gates.
"I'm sorry." He says before I feel something hit the base of my skull.
Just before I black out I hear, "She came to kill Lexa, so tie her up."
---------------
My eyes open, but I have no idea where I am. Before I can't comprehend what has happened, I'm shoved down to my knees and the beg that was over my head is pulled off.
I blink a couple times, trying to get my eyes to get used to the light. Then I see her.
"You bitch!" I scream through the gag, trying to lunge at Lexa, but I'm shoved to the ground.
"Let her up." She says before I sit back on my knees. "Hello Hailey."
I narrow my eyes at her, but don't speak.
"The deal was for you to bring her to me unharmed." She says, her voice hard as she glances at Roan.
"Well, the only way that she would come easy was if she thought I was bringing her here to kill you." He says from behind me, causing my lips to curl.
She doesn't respond. Instead, she tilts her head as she gazes down at me. "We couldn't get Clarke, but we will soon." She murmurs just loud enough for me to hear.
Roan interrupts her by saying, "I've done my part, now do yours." Her eyes flit up to his. "Lift my banishment."
"I'm told your mother's army marches on Polis." Lexa responds and I can almost hear Roan's heart drop.
I'm not his friend, nor he mine, but somehow, I sympathise with him.
"That has nothing to do with me. Honour our deal." He says, his tone angry.
Lexa narrows her eyes at him. "I'll honour our deal when your Queen honours my coalition." She sighs, glancing at the guards behind me. "Lock Prince Roan of Azgeda away."
After a moment, she says, "Leave us."
My eyebrows furrow as I glance up at her. She leans down in front of me and unties the gag in my mouth.
"It had to be this way." She says, folding up the gag gingerly in her lap. "I had to ensure that Jusdreinheda didn't fall into the hands of the Ice Queen."
Understanding floods my veins, but I'm still angry. I remember the lives we lost in Mount Weather. The people that might still be alive if she hadn't made that deal.
"War is brewing, Hailey." She reaches over and grabs my hand. "I need you." She says and my blood boils.
I slowly pull my hand out of her grip, trying to contain my rage. "I understand that you need me, but where was that when we needed you at Mount Weather?" I say and her hopeful expression drops. "You don't need me. You need the reputation that I have."
I sigh, using the anger in me to say, "Which is fine, I'll cooperate, but only if you leave Clarke out of this."
"No, you don't understand." Lexa says, but I stand and walk over to the window in front of me with her following suit.
"I understand why you made that deal. I also understand that I will never forgive you for it." I sigh. "But, I'll just have to get over it." I sigh, turning around to face her.
"If you leave Clarke out of this," I begin, but she interrupts me.
"I can't do that Hailey." She sighs.
My eyes narrow as I step up to her. I feel drastically different compared to her commander outfit and my scrappy clothes and choppy hair.
"Well then." I say, my anger boiling over. "You wanted the commander of blood shed." I seethe as I whirl around and grab a small pocket knife from my boot. I fling it at her and it lands square in her shoulder.
She grunts in pain as the guards flood the room.
"Don't kill her!" She screams, clutching her shoulder. "Do not harm her!"
I begin yelling as they grab under my arms and drag me out of the room. "Well you've got me!" I scream, my vocal cords straining. "I'll kill you!"
---------------
a/n
well, i'm back to this shit show and i am SO EXCITED HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS
we're almost at 100k????? THATS ABSOLUTELY INSANE
i love you all sm LIKE UNBELIEVIBLY SO MUCH
anyway <3
love youuuu
- abigail