Can we all just appreciate this pic for a sec? ^
⚠️TW:⚠️ panic attack, blades
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"Everything is going to be okay. Some people are obviously not going to be supportive, but just know that you have us, no matter what, we'll be there for you. Nothing can make me and Lizzie love you any less."
I just took some time to let his words sink in, and I felt that I wasn't as worried. True, I might get some hate, but in the end, all that matters is that I have loving parents and a support system who will be with me no matter what. "Thank you", I whispered into the small space in between us.
"Anytime. I'm always here if you need me. I know you're closer with Lizzie but I love you just as much as she does, know that." With a last squeeze of my hands, he let me have some space as he sat back down in his chair.
I was so incredibly thankful for him. All this time, he had been so thoughtful and patient with me. Not once had he questioned why I was so guarded around him. Not once had he confronted me about it.
And I owed him big time for that. "The interview is done by the way", he informed me. "She'll pick up some food on the way home, anything you want?" Robbie asked me, breaking the silence.
"I'll eat anything, tell her whatever you want and tell her I'm craving it", I told him, making him crack a smile. "So basically, use you, who keep in mind, she cannot say no to, in order to get what I want."
"Pretty much", I shrugged. "I'd say you deserve it. You've been so incredibly thoughtful, I owe you for that." His eyes locked with mine, and I could see that they were slightly glossed over. "You don't owe me anything Nova, you've been through so much and I'm just happy you feel more comfortable with me now."
"But I'll tell her you want Chinese, so when she gets back, make sure to tell her how much you've been craving it", he ended it with a joke, simultaneously lifting my spirits. We chatted comfortably while we waited for our food delivery, and I learned more about his band.
I learned about the band members, how they started out, where the name Milo Greene came from, and also a bit about their next album which was still in the works. Robbie's story about a time he tripped on stage was interrupted by the front door opening and then closing again.
"Food is here!" I heard mum's voice echo through the house. "Yess!" Robbie pumped his fist, clearly way more excited about the food than I was. Still, we both scrambled into the kitchen and almost got there before mum who was balancing several containers of food in her hands.
She was still in the dress from the talk show, but her hair had been let down and she had swapped her heels for a pair of flats. "So, I'm not sure who's more excited for food. Nova, who I was told was craving this, or Robbie, who clearly is", mum laughed as Robbie excitedly opened a box at random and was met with spring rolls.
He stuffed one into his mouth before looking over at mum who cocked her eyebrow at him. "What?" He asked, his mouth full of food. "Manners? Heard of them?" Mum asked. "Nope, not a clue what it is."
Robbie then helped us get the food on to the table, but not without eating yet another spring roll. "Okay hands off", mum playfully slapped his hand away, earning a whine from him. I laughed at their antics while getting us some water.
Dinner was spent in a light-hearted atmosphere, and mum didn't seem to notice that I had a panic attack just before she arrived. My eyes still felt a little red and puffy, and I was a bit more jumpy than usual.
I nervously excused myself as soon as I was done eating, which caught mum's attention. Her gaze felt suffocating, and I felt like I was betraying her and her trust for not telling her. Avoiding her gaze, I quickly put my dishes in the dishwasher before rushing upstairs.
Everything became muffled, and my vision became blurry as I stumbled into my room and into the bathroom. In my blurry, panicked state, I found the blade I had hidden away from view. I took it and collapsed on my bed. The door to my room slammed shut, something I knew would attract attention. All I could see was the way she looked at me, her gaze filled with worry.
She was going to hate me for not telling her. She told me to tell her. She knows. She's gonna be disappointed. And that hurt most. I had never had anyone to disappoint, not anyone whose opinion mattered to me like mum's does.
I pulled my knees up to my chest in an attempt to calm myself, but to no avail. Tears blurred my vision as the image of mum's worried and disappointed look flashed through my head. My hands found my hairline, something they hadn't done in a while, as I dropped the blade onto the sheets next to me.
I started pulling at my hair in an attempt to get the image out of my head. I didn't even realise that my door opened and mum stepped in before closing it behind her.
Lizzie's pov:
Nova had been acting a bit off ever since I got home. She was quieter and more fidgety. She flinched at sudden noises and her eyes were a bit bloodshot, almost like she had cried. None of us mentioned the interview, I imagined she needed a bit of time to process everything.
But when she pretty much stormed from the kitchen in a panic, I became a bit worried. I looked to Robbie for an explanation. "She had a bit of a freak-out after watching the interview. I think the news and the what-ifs got to her."
I nodded, showing I understood. "I'll go up to her, do you mind cleaning up?" I asked. "Not at all, make sure she's okay and that we won't love her any less, regardless of the feedback from the announcement."
Wasting no time, I rushed upstairs to my daughter. The door to her room was closed, so I assumed she was in there. "Nova?" I knocked on the door. No answer. "Nova hunny, are you in there?"
Once again, I was met by total silence. "I'm coming in", I warned before pushing the door open. And there she was. On the bed, curled up in a ball and her hands firmly planted in her hair. She hadn't pulled at her hair in a while, at least not to my knowledge.
Maybe the two panic attacks in a row were what did it, on top of her being revealed to the world. "Nova baby?" I approached calmly. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry", she muttered under her breath as I got closer.
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Hello my friends! How are we doing today?
I felt like adding some action so here it is :)
(It'll continue for a while so prepare for some cute moments in between the panic attacks)
I hope you're doing okay (cus it seems like that's the best we can all do atm), and just know that I am so insanely proud of you <3
Love, Frida xx