I laughed modestly in front of him after we stared at each other for about a minute. Did he take my question seriously? I'm just kidding!
"I'm kidding. What do you do with your time there?" I raised an eyebrow at him. Ilang minuto ba siya magpalit ng damit, huh?
"M-may inayos ako. May kailangan ka ba?" he came out of his room and closed the door so we are closer to each other now. Why does whatever Kiel wears suit him? Is there anything else that doesn't suit him? I can also smell his perfume which adds to his support. He's so clean, you know? "Nadeleine?" he snapped.
I'm back to reality. "Nothing!" masigla kong sabi bago siya talikuran at bumalik sa couch. I don't want to use my phone because it's charging but I don't have anything to do. Ano ang gagawin ko rito ngayon? Ayoko pa naman umuwi, gusto ko munang magstay rito.
Ah, right.
I had my iPad with me so I sat on the floor and leaned on the couch. I assembled my stand on the table in the living room and placed my iPad on it so that it would not be difficult for me to hold the iPad while reading or highlighting or writing in my notes. Mayroong nilapag si Kiel na bag beside me pero may kaunting nakalabas na lace roon so I took it.
Ezchavez, Ralpkiel Akio I.
Akio? That's his second name, huh? I have never heard anyone call him by that name. What if I did it myself? That sounds like a good idea.
I looked at Kiel as he sat down, close to me. "Akio? I like your second name and you're gwapo here," I showed him his ID that I was holding. He looked surprised because his eyes widened a little, he also stopped for a few seconds before turning his gaze to his laptop. I laughed. "Never thought you had a second name," nilapag ko na 'yon sa lamesa.
"How about you, Seren?" I lost my smile and quickly looked at him. How did he know that?! Our eyes met. He laughed at me because of my reaction so I glared at him even more. Inabot ko siya at hinampas 'yung braso niya, Kiel chuckled. "Oh, why are you hampasing me? Do you wanna touch my biceps?" he showed me his biceps so I tried to pretend to hit him again but he moved away.
"Epal mo, 'no? Where did you find that out?"
"I saw the certificates in your condo that have your full name," he shrugged. "Tanong lang, why do they call you Nads?"
"Tanong mo sa kanila." Inirapa ko siya.
"Okay, Sue," he said.
"Okay, Akio," I said, mocking him.
It's a good thing that both of us have been quiet because we've also focused on what we're studying. From time to time he talks to me and asks about anatomy kaya mapupunta 'yung oras namin sa pag-uusap. But that's good because I know we remember something. After we finished studying, we took down the questions and gave the paper to each other. As we discussed, I was the first to ask. There is an answer there so we will know whether it is right or wrong. We only had one answer mistake because we forgot but the last ones were all correct.
Hindi na namin napansin 'yung oras dahil sa abala mag-aral. Okay na rin 'to, I won't need to study later when I get home, just tomorrow morning. I don't have a class naman sa morning, afternoon lang. Then I will go to VGC because I want to relax, I'll just watch the hearing or trial, whatever there is.
I was the one who looked for dinner for Kiel and me because I told him not to cook anymore, we'll just order so there's nothing else to do.
Maeve
nasaan ka?
why?
I'm with Kiel's friends ba 'yun? Kausap
ni Andrei 'yung babae. Natulak kasi
nung nikki name sa id si Rafi hahaha
what happened next?
the girl said sorry naman kinakausap
ni andrei ngayon
natatawa ako sa kasama nung nikki
nagtutulakan sila tas may kausap sa phone
I looked at Kiel with a serious face while looking at his phone that was always open. Si Jaethron at Fritz yata 'yung nagte-text. "Why don't you answer the texts?" Tumingin si Kiel sa akin at inangat 'yung styrofoam na binubuksan siya. Siya nag-aasikaso ng foods namin. "I heard that Nikki got into a fight. Hindi mo ba pupuntahan?"
My question didn't last a second when he immediately shook his head, not thinking twice. They're best friends, right? Bakit parang wala lang sa kaniya na napaaway si Nikki?
"Why not? She's your best friend,"
Kiel shrugged. "Kumain ka na," nilapag niya 'yung food sa harap ko.
"You know what, I think she likes you. Manhid ka ba, Ralpkiel? That's what I noticed, I feel like she likes you. Just from the way she looks at you, from her movements when she's with you. Duh! I like observing people. But she has a boyfriend..." I sighed. Tama naman ako, 'yun talaga ang nakikita ko kapag magkasama sila. It's normal for them but it feels different.
He looked at me for a moment. "To be honest, I liked her. I had feelings for her but I didn't admit it. I watched her fall for different men while I was always behind her. Kahit naman umamin ako sa kaniya... she won't like me back. We're best friends, that's all we walked up to."
Napatigil ako dahil sa narinig ko. So, he liked her? But he chose to save their friendship. "When did you like Nikki?" I asked.
"Third year of high school. It just stopped last year. Let's not talk about that, I'll take you home after eating,"
"Hai," I said with a Japanese accent as I rolled my eyes. I heard Kiel's chuckle when he heard what I said. I did research the other day about that language kaya!
Just like Kiel said, we just rested for a while before he took me to my condo. I followed everything listed in my notes, I did what I had to do, I bought stocks again, I went to the company, I did laundry, I cleaned the condo, I tried to cook foreign food, I painted, and went shopping for myself.
But of course, I didn't do it by myself.
Kiel has been insisting for several weeks to come to my condo and accompany me to do the things I need to do. I had no choice so I was with him in everything I did. It only means that we are often together. In one week, isang beses lang kami hindi nakakapagkita. Monday. But sometimes he makes a way to visit me and bring me a proben, may kasama pa na ice scramble or iskrambol.
"How did you know?" I asked.
"Nakita ko sa Twitter mo." Kiel said.
Our closeness to each other is always increasing, kaunti na nga lang I will look like his best friend, not Nikki or Jaethron and Fritz anymore. Palagi naman daw magkasama 'yung tatlo kaya okay lang daw na wala siya roon, he said he prefers not to be with them and stay where he is. Kakatapos niya nga lang matulog sa guest room ng condo ko last Saturday! But we are the same, I don't get to hang out with Rafi, Andrei, and Maeve anymore because I'm always secretly with Kiel.
We also went to Intramuros and the museum together last week, rest day raw! He drove for me and then we had a little fight over the bill, palagi na lang! Natuwa pa ako one time na he let me pay for our bill, pero nawala rin 'yon kaagad noong nalaman kong nilagay niya ang pera niya sa wallet ko. Wala na akong nagastos for him! I even scolded him because he always paid with the money he earned in Japan, he worked hard for that just to not spend it on me.
I also received flowers from him. Trip lang daw niya ibigay 'yon sa akin, wala raw siyang magawa. At the time of my month, I don't know how he put up with me. Because as me, I know that I behave differently when I have. I don't know, I just saw myself eating all my cravings that Kiel bought.
With everything he did, I felt that way just now.
I feel like half of my heart has been healed caused by my past traumas. I felt what I was looking for before, what I wanted to see. My inner self is slowly turning on the light again, the fears and doubts disappear, I feel safe when I'm with him. Unlike before, when I close my eyes, I suddenly remember what was happening around then. But now... everything is clear.
"Bitch, happy birthday," inabot ko ang regalo ko ay Andrei. It's his birthday. I was wearing a black tube dress and a cropped white denim jacket. Tinamad na ako maghanap ng outfit dahil ang daldal ni Kiel sa call, I told him that I was leaving but he said mamaya na raw. "Did you invite your other friends?"
"Oo, p're! Close friends lang! Hindi ko sila ililibre, bahala sila ro'n!" Andrei answered before he left in front of me, I think he went somewhere. Umupo na ako sa couch na kung nasaan sina Rafi, Maeve and Euan. They immediately gave me a glass so I accepted it, shit! This isn't my warm up drink!
"Oh my gosh! You're so hot!" I winked at Rafi when I saw what she was wearing in the light. We're here on the dance floor after a bottle of bacardi, they say we'll just dance and then have cuervo afterwards. We were in the middle and Andrei and Euan had their hands wrapped around their girlfriend's waist, while I was just dancing, pagiling-giling lang. I don't have a partner, eh! "Oh, hi!" Hinila ko si Kiro nang makita ko siya.
"Yieee!" I heard Andrei's loud voice.
I didn't expect to see Kiro here! Naging tropa na talaga sila ni Andrei! I teased Maeve when I saw her and Euan kissed. How rude! I'm here, oh!
When I felt dizzy, I was the first to return to our couch. Umupo ako at sinandal ang ulo ko. Nahihilo na ako! I took my phone from my bag and saw the texts there, there was no one else, only Kiel was texting me because he already knew my number.
Ralpkiel
Drive safely, Nadeleine.
Patrick wants to go to the club. I'll go.
Oh, you're here too? We are in the same place.
I saw you dancing with a man. :)
OH YWAH? RRLLY? WRU LET'S DANCE
I let out a laugh and turned off my phone and put it back in the bag, they might even see that I'm talking to Kiel. Nandito na rin sila!
Andrei opened the cuervo. I want to go home, how can I escape from here? Cuervo.. that alcohol is my weakness! Okay, fine! I'll go home na after this, nakatatlong alcohol na ako ngayong gabi. My warm up, vodka, my second, bacardi, and last, cuervo!
I pretended to throw up but I just laughed it off and continued drinking. Walang susuko! Susuka lang. Gosh, I miss being a party girl! Sumandal ako kay Maeve at pinaghahampas nang mahinhin 'yung kamay niya pero napaayos din ako sa pag-upo nang yinugyog niya ako.
"What?!" I asked, irritated. I gave her a bad look because I couldn't understand what she was pointing at because I couldn't see much anymore. Sinundan ko ang finger niya, my soul has almost joined St. Ignatius when I saw Kiel talking to Andrei, in front of us! Tinuturo-turo niya pa kami, baka pinapakilala niya kami! Oh, gosh, Andrei! You don't need to introduce me because he already knows me completely! Haha!
"He's Kiel, Nads! Kiel! The guy! UST Hospital! Go, go, I heard he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore!" Sinubukan niya akong itulak kaya nahilo ako lalo. "Andrei! Reto mo si Nad kay Kiel Ezchavez!" I closed my eyes so I couldn't see them very well.
I just heard Andrei's laugh, when I opened my eyes, Andrei and Kiel had finished talking. Hindi pa naman siya nakakalayo from us so I took off my jacket and finished a glass of cuervo before standing up and chasing Kiel. When I got to him, I immediately pulled him to the dance floor and wrapped my hand around his neck.
"Come on! Let's dance!" I laughed and swayed my body. Tinulak ko paatras ang buhok ko gamit ang kamay ko. I took Kiel's right hand and placed it on my waist before bringing my body closer to him to whisper to him. "Sorry, I didn't read your message earlier," I said before chuckling.
"Nadeleine, your friends. Your friend's are here," he whispered.
"It's okay!" I don't care if they see us now. Who cares?! We're friends, too! Me and I and Kiel are just friends! We're just partying! Hinila ko sa gilid si Kiel at sumandal sa pader. I pouted, "I'm dizzy. I want to go home na..." I looked at him with my pleasing eyes.
I heard Kiel's sexy laugh and he avoided looking at me. "Go, get your stuff. I'll wait for you at the exit," sinenyasan niya ako kaya tumango ako.
"Saan ka pumunta?!" Tanong ni Maeve. Oh, didn't they see me there dancing with Kiel? Poor them!
"There lang! Oh, wait! Restroom lang ako!" Kinuha ko ang bag ko at dumiretso sa restroom. I entered the cubicle and knelt down to take out what I needed to take out. "Sorry," I approached Kiel while wiping my mouth. I thanked him when he handed me a bottle of water that was already open so I just drank from it. I gave him my car key because he didn't have his car with him, sinundo lang daw siya.
When I opened my eyes, I immediately saw the color of the wall of Kiel's other room in his condo. Why am I here? What am I doing here? I got up from lying down and touched my head when I felt the poison again. What happened last night? Hinanap ko ang bag ko pero nakita ko 'yung phone ko sa drawer kaya kinuha ko iyon.
thomateaneans
Maeve:
@Nad BICH WER R YO
GAGU C NADILEN HANAPIN NATIN MY SELF DRUNK IS LOSING WAIT WARAFUK
Andrei:
Hahahshhh ty lord, another year with rafi 🥳
Maeve:
LANDI PYTA C NADS
lagoat tau ky ceo nd prosec vienaiaz ni2
hala
Byee sleep n kmi ni uean haha
Rafi:
Gopd night, guys. Thnks for tonight.
Nad:
i don't want to drink na ulit hahah
No one replied so I'm sure they were all still asleep. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at lumabas ng kwarto. I had a smell of delicious food so I went to the kitchen, I saw Kiel with his back turned, he was wearing pajamas but he wasn't wearing a top! He is wearing an apron and cooking.
Tahimik akong umupo at yumuko sa lamesa. Naramdaman ko ring napunta 'yung tingin sa akin ni Kiel. "Kumain ka na, Nadeleine." Nilapag ni Kiel ang mangkok sa harap ko at naglapag ng gamot kaya umayos na ako. "Drink that to get rid of your headache," tumango ako na parang bata at sinimulan kainin 'yung soup na niluto niya. He also sat across from me to eat with me.
"Did something happen last night?"
Umiling si Kiel kaya tumango ako. Wala talaga akong maalala na nangyari kagabi. I just ate quietly and took the medicine he gave me. I noticed that Kiel wasn't talking to me much so I let him wash the bowl of what we ate. Why is he silent? Is he not in the mood? When we eat, he doesn't stop talking. Bakit hindi ngayon?
I just turned around and secretly gave him a nasty look. I returned to the room and sat on the bed. I saw that Daddy had a message, saying that I should go to the company today because he had something to give. Ako pa ba 'yung mag-a-adjust? Sinabi ko sa kaniya na bukas na lang dahil uuwi ako sa bahay tomorrow. I will stay there for a few days. Ayoko muna sa condo.
I sat for a while before lying down because sleepiness visited me again. Noong nagising ako ay mataas na ang araw kaya nanatili lang akong nakahiga. Ang sakit ng katawan ko, ano ba kasing pinaggagagawa ko kagabi sa club? Bakit ko ba kasing naisipang uminom ulit?
Lalabas na sana ako ng kwarto pero nakakarinig ako ng ibang boses mula sa labas. Boses 'yon ni Jaethron at Fritz, ha! How do I get out of here now?
"Break na raw sina Nikki at Syed, ah? 'Rinig mo na ba 'yon, Kiel?" Fritz's voice.
Syed?
"Ano ba ulit surname ni Syed? Uupakan ko 'yon kahit si Nikki 'yong nakipaghiwalay!" Jaethron.
"Si Syed Castillo! 'Yung anak ni Dean Castillo! Sige, p're, upakan mo na. Good luck sa scholarship!" Fritz laugh.
"Umuwi na nga kayo."
So, all this time Nikki is Syed's new girlfriend? The world is so small, isn't it? What if Nikki experienced what I experienced before because of Syed? Kawawa siya. That's surprising to know because who would have thought that, right? Nikki and Syed? That's so unexpected. I mean, this year ko lang ulit nakita si Syed and maririnig ko pa bigla na si Nikki 'yung new girlfriend niya. Hindi ko alam kung may bago pa siya before Nikki.
And I DO not care about him anymore.
Mayroon pa akong narinig pero 'yung huli kong narinig... that made me think. I didn't want to listen to other people's conversations but no, I already heard it. Hinanap ko 'yung jacket ko pero wala, naiwan ko ba 'yon? Saan?! Nakakahiya naman lumabas nang naka-tube dress lang ako. His friends are there kaya! I had no choice but to pick up my phone and text Kiel.
To: Ralpkiel
kiel, i need to go home na. your friends ??
From: Ralpkiel
It's okay. They know you're there.
Won't your boyfriend pick you up?
To: Ralpkiel
who tf is my boyfriend
From: Ralpkiel
The one you danced with last night.
To: Ralpkiel
what you’re not my boyfriend
Siya lang naman 'yung kasama ko sumayaw kagabi, hindi ba? Did I have someone to dance with on the dance floor last night? All I remember is that, we danced on the dance floor and then I asked him to go home. Hanggang doon lang!
I took my bag and looked at my face in the mirror. I'm still beautiful, nothing has changed. Dahan-dahan akong lumabas sa kwarto but I saw them kaagad so I waved at them. I didn't pay attention to Kiel because I couldn't think straight yet. Lumabas ako ng condo ni Kiel. Instead of taking the elevator, I used the stairs because I wanted to think while going down.
"Saan na nagpunta?" I faced Kiel. Nasa harapan siya ng sasakyan ko, probably waiting for me. Bakit niya ako kinakausap ngayon? If I hadn't texted earlier, he wouldn't have talked to me.
"Took stairs." I pressed the key to start my car and walk towards it, passing Kiel. "What?" I irritatedly asked him when he grabbed my wrist.
"Nung nagtext ka ba... you just woke up?"
Why?
Was he afraid that I had heard something about what they were talking about? Is there anything I should not know? Of course, there is. We're just friends, I don't need to know everything. I don't even have to know every detail that he tells me, about his friends or what.
I nodded, not thinking twice. "Gusto ko nang umuwi, Akio," mahinhin kong tinanggal 'yung pagkakahawak niya sa akin at tuluyan na akong umalis, left him behind. When I got home, I immediately went straight to my room and kicked the air as I hit the bed.
Hindi na ako umuwi sa Katipunan dahil traffic lang doon! Mas malapit 'yung biyahe papunta rito mula roon kaysa sa Katipunan. I charged my phone when I got up and took a shower because I felt dirty. I just did skin care and applied lipbalm. Hindi ko pa nakikita si Nathalie kaya kumatok ako sa kwarto niya. Everyone had things to do so there weren't many people around the house, I couldn't see them.
"Nathalie-" I opened the door because she's not answering, the door's unlocked naman. I just couldn't finish what I was going to say when I saw her lying on the bed and her room was a mess. I quickly ran to her bed. "Nathalie, why? What happened? What's wrong? Baby..." sinampa ko ang isa kong tuhod sa kama niya. I touched her shoulder, she's crying.
"Ate..." she faced me and immediately hugged me. I rubbed her back as she cried silently. My sister's crying, what if I'm not here now? What if I don't go home today? How about Nathalie? No one is by her side now. I wiped her tears. "We had a little fight last night, we're still not okay." She explained when she finished crying.
"Is he not talking to you?" I asked.
Nathalie shook her head. "No.. I think he's still mad. It's okay, Ate. Kasalanan ko naman kung bakit kami nag-fight,"
No.
I think there is a little lie in what Nathalie is telling me right now. Based on her room, on her unfinished plates, on her face. I knew immediately that the reason was different. I can hear it from her crying voice.
"I'll make our lunch ready. Please, clean your room and go fix yourself. I hate seeing you like this." I tapped his shoulder twice before standing up and leaving his room. I closed the door and leaned there for a moment. Please... please. I don't want her to experience what I experienced before. I don't want to see her, anyone in my life who is important to me, I don't want to see them suffer because of love.
We ate lunch together with our maids. The drivers can't be found, maybe they're at work. After that, I watched Nathalie clean her room while I sat there on her bed, watching Disney movies. When Nathalie finished cleaning her room, she also finished her plates.
I'm happy that she finished what I asked her to do. That night, I was putting cream on my face when I heard a knock so I opened it. I saw Dad.
"I thought you would come home tomorrow. I'm glad to see you here, princess," Dad said with a smile on his face, he was still wearing a suit, he looked like he just got back from work and hadn't changed his clothes yet. I just gave him a small smile. "Ah, right. This is my gift for you," kumunot ang noo ko nang itinaas niya ang isang paper bag na hawak niya.
I accepted it. "What's this?" My eyes widened slightly when I saw what was inside. It's a disposable camera that comes with an instax. "What's with this? What's the event? It's not even my birthday or what," nahihiya kong sinabi kay Daddy iyon. I'm not used to receiving such a gift from him. He always gave me money, the rest, si Mommy na ang nagregalo ng lahat.
"Nothing. I just want to give you a gift,"
I nodded. "Thank.. you, Dad,"
"No problem, daughter. Yeah, Dad's going to rest now. Good night, sweetie. I love you." Mabilis niya rin akong tinalikuran nang sinabi niya iyon. A big smile came to my mouth when I closed the door, finally! This is what I wanted to buy on my birthday but it didn't work out. Hindi ko rin naman ine-expect na bibilhan ako ni Daddy nito.
The next day, I was also surprised to see my favorite foods on the table. "Nadeleine, anak, you're early!" Dad.
"Yeah," I had no choice but to eat with him because he requested it. Minsan lang daw kami mag-bond nang ganito. My Sunday is.. just right. We had a little bonding. The next morning, I just studied until it was time for my class. As I walked down the hall, I checked my phone but there was no message.
Why hasn't he texted since Saturday?
Am I ghosted?
Is this the end of our friendship?
I just pouted and hid my phone.
I won't text him first. If that is already a goodbye, then goodbye.
* * *